Chapter 116
Teacher Eun-ju Kim, sitting across from Soo-hyun, held the words written on the card and spoke.
"The emotion we are going to learn today is 'disgust'."
'Disgust. It's a word I've heard a lot since I came to Korea. I've heard my classmates shudder and shout things like "Gross!" many times. It seems like a feeling of dislike for something, but it seems a little different from anger or hatred.'
"Disgust is broadly divided into physiological disgust and moral disgust. Both are acquired emotions that are usually experienced through aversive learning. Physiological disgust towards unsanitary things is based on the feeling that 'if I get close to a certain object, I will become physically or mentally ill'."
'Well, things like people or food that could make you sick if you get close to them. Is that the feeling you get when you go to a traditional toilet? Is it creepy and nauseating?'
"Crime exemplifies moral disgust. When a criminal is arrested, an investigation is conducted at the crime scene. This involves recreating the crime scene with a mannequin to see how he committed the crime. The general public feels disgust just by witnessing the investigation, even though they are not watching a real crime scene."
'It's probably because it really happened. If it hadn't happened, if it had been something I imagined. Oh, it would still be disgusting.'
Eun-joo Kim said, thinking that Soo-hyun seemed to understand well.
"Disgust and hatred are two completely different emotions. They should not be confused. There are many anonymous personal attacks on the internet. And there, hatred can escalate to hate, and sometimes even lead to crimes."
'I don't know about this. I think it's okay to hate someone. Whether it's physically or mentally dirty, you decide what you think. But would someone go so far as to think that the object is hateful?'
"But what is more frightening than hatred of others is self-hatred," Kim Eun-joo said.
Soo-hyun's eyes opened as he silently listened to the story.
"Are you saying you hate yourself?"
"That's right, artists like Soo-hyun need to be even more careful. It's very common for depression to start and then turn into self-loathing. So, if you experience any of these symptoms, don't hesitate to seek professional help."
Soo-hyun said, sticking out his lips.
"The teacher is by my side."
Teacher Kim Eun-ju smiled.
"Yes. But I can't always have you by my side. So if you ever feel that way, you should come running to me right away."
"Yes, sir."
"Haha, okay. Next time, let's learn about surprise, the last of the six categories. I think you understand disgust pretty well. Oh, and when you have time, it would be good to watch the movie the professor sent you by message."
Soo-hyun's body froze. A list of movies that Professor Kim Eun-ju had sent him, saying that she thought they would help him understand hatred. When he asked Ji-ye at home to look up a movie for him, she threw his phone away after seeing the list.
"That… My sister told me not to watch it."
Kim Eun-joo burst out laughing. Most of the movies she recommended contained disgusting scenes.
"Yes, it doesn't matter if you don't see it. There are many things in this society that are disgusting, even if they are not necessarily like that. And now that I see you, I think you understand this feeling well, so let's move on. See you next week."
"Thank you for your hard work today, teacher."
Teacher Eun-ju Kim smiled at Soo-hyun, who always greeted her politely. When Soo-hyun opened the consultation room door, Junwoo and Jaehee were outside. They were always good friends. But as soon as Soo-hyun came out, Junwoo's shout was heard.
"Soo-hyun! Did you hear? Geumhwa Asian is sending the three of us to study abroad? It's great! My mom is going crazy!"
Eun-ju Kim, who was organizing her bag, stopped for a moment, but soon moved again.
'In fact, it was a rather expected moment. Since I've almost finished the emotional studies of the large category, there's no problem. I'm just sad because I'm so fond of him. Of course, I have to send him for the boy's sake.'
Now, Soo-hyun's broad back, which had grown much taller than him, was visible through the closing door. As Soo-hyun closed the door and went out, sadness appeared in his eyes. Two friends who seemed happy to be studying abroad, unlike me.
'I had been preparing myself mentally because my older sister, Ji-ye, had said that one day I would have to study abroad, but now that it's really happening, I really hate having to part with my friends.'
Soo-hyun came running excitedly, but his eyes turned sad. The two friends exchanged glances as they watched Soo-hyun walk without a word and then followed him. Soo-hyun walked for a long time and reached the school gate.
'Yes, it's sad to part, but it's not bad, right? Everyone has their own path. If you do music, you'll meet again someday.'
Soo-hyun looked at his friends. Jaehee and Junwoo had very playful expressions on their faces.
'Friends, aren't you sad about the breakup? Am I the only one?'
Soo-hyun said, unable to look Junwoo in the eye.
"Are you going to see Professor Hermann?"
Junwoo, who made connections in Germany, will probably go to Professor Hermann's Munich University. Soo-hyun looked at Jaehee and asked.
"Where are you? Italy?"
Jaehee spoke in a low voice.
"Austria."
Junwoo was holding him.
"I'm going to Austria too."
Soo-hyun's head tilted.
'I see. They're together. That's why they have such a cheerful expression. Well, I'll be lonely again.'
Soo-hyun nodded and turned around.
"Congratulations."
Soo-hyun's steps were very heavy, with his shoulders slumped.
'But still, we are friends who will soon part. I think I will regret leaving without answering when he calls.'
Soo-hyun stopped walking and looked back.
"Huh?"
"Where are you going?"
'I don't know where I'm going. I didn't ask.'
"I don't know. Sister Ji-ye will tell you."
As Junwoo chuckled, Jaehee looked at him with intimidating eyes, as if asking him to stop. Junwoo, feeling irritated, put his arms around Soo-hyun's neck and put his arms around his shoulders.
"You're going too, you idiot."
Soo-hyun with sad eyes.
'Yes, together... ...what?'
Soo-hyun's eyes widened.
"I'm going to Austria too?"
"Yeah! You idiot! Hahahaha! The three of us are going together! Hahahahaha!"
Soo-hyun looked at Jaehee with eyes that asked if he was serious. Junwoo might not know his playful nature, but Jaehee was not the type to joke about such things. Jaehee was seen nodding her head and looking happy.
Soo-hyun with tears in his eyes.
"Really…?"
Junwoo said, hitting Soo-hyun on the back with a hard blow.
"It's real!!!"
Junwoo and Jaehee looked happy. But Soo-hyun's legs seemed to have lost their strength, so he covered his face and slumped on the spot.
"Huh!!?"
Junwoo quickly supported Soo-hyun, but Soo-hyun eventually collapsed. Junwoo and Jaehee squatted down together, but Soo-hyun covered his face. Junwoo looked at Jaehee in surprise. Jaehee gave Junwoo a look as if he were being too playful. Junwoo, who had just tasted his food, looked at Soo-hyun, who was covering his face with his thick hands, wondering if he should apologize, and then was surprised to see tears flowing through his hands and shouted.
"Hey, hey! It was a joke. I'm sorry, but it's not like you have to cry!"
Jaehee was also flustered. He never thought he would cry.
"Soo-hyun…"
Junwoo grabbed Soo-hyun's collar and shook him.
"Hey, I told you not to cry. I was wrong, okay? I was really wrong."
Junwoo put his hands together and pretended to clear his throat. As Soo-hyun hunched his shoulders, Junwoo knelt down.
"I was wrong. I'm the one who should die. Okay? Stop crying, man. Nam Soo-hyun…"
Jaehee, who was squatting with her, also knelt down. It seemed that she regretted having participated in the joke.
"Soo-hyun… I'm sorry…"
Jaehee slowly took Soo-hyun's hand. Jaehee flinched when she felt Soo-hyun's hand covering her face wet with tears. Jaehee and Junwoo had a conversation through their eyes about what to do. Junwoo continued to apologize as if he had no choice.
"It's my fault for having such a perverted imagination that you'd be happy if you were upset. It's not Jaehee's fault. I'm so sorry, okay? Stop crying."
Two friends knelt in front of Soo-hyun. Their faces reflected their concern that Soo-hyun's pure heart might have been hurt. At that moment, Soo-hyun took his hands off his face and looked at his two friends. They quickly ran to her.
"Hey, stop crying now, okay?"
"Soo-hyun, I'm so sorry…"
The eyes of the two friends who were about to apologize widened. They must have been tears, judging by the tear stains all over his face. But Soo-hyun's expression was not that of a person crying. We saw his face smiling more brightly than ever before.
"Soo-hyun?"
"You…?"
'Did it happen the other way around?'
The moment Junwoo was about to shout as he clenched his teeth, Soo-hyun suddenly grabbed Jaehee and Junwoo by the neck and hugged them. Soo-hyun's heart was pounding with a smiling expression. I could feel Soo-hyun's body temperature, not knowing if he was crying or laughing.
The joy of friends. Friends who hugged you without a word. No further explanation was needed. Jaehee and Junwoo, who sensed Soo-hyun's feelings, simultaneously attacked Soo-hyun while she was in an awkward position with her neck grabbed. Suddenly, Soo-hyun burst out laughing as he hugged and rolled around with the two friends who were on top of him on the ground.
"Haha…" "You little hooligan! I was so surprised I thought you were really crying!" "I was so surprised too, that's mean!"
Junwoo, who was hitting Soo-hyun's head with his fist without hurting him, and Jaehee, who was hitting Soo-hyun's chest, were both smiling with tears in their eyes.
"Ah! Are you going to Austria? What a great decision!" "Of course! We have to go to the home of music. Chairman Park Ki-jun? He has a discerning taste!" "If you're a musician, you should work there! Of course!" "Haha, good decision. Are you going with friends too? Great!"
Chopin, Liszt, Beethoven, and Schubert each said a word. In fact, Soo-hyun didn't really know why Austria was such a good influence for musicians.
'I just came here to brag about going with my friends, but seeing all the old men react so positively, I guess it must be a place where there's a lot to learn.'
As Beethoven looked at Soo-hyun, who was smiling happily, he nodded, and Franz went into the house and came out holding a piece of music.
"Huh? I didn't come to practice today, sir."
Franz, seeing Soo-hyun's questioning face, handed him the sheet music and said.
"Play it when you have time."
"What is this?"
'I hope you're not going to embarrass me by giving me a new song like last time.'
"You can play it after you go to study abroad. Don't worry, I won't ask you now."
It was a piece without a title. Beethoven spoke with his arms crossed.
"If you don't find the right time, there's no opportunity to grow. Unlike mental growth, this is only achieved when the time is right."
Soo-hyun, holding the sheet music, tilted his head.
'Unlike mental growth, is that something that has to happen at the right time? What the hell is going on, you guys?'
But the legends surrounding Soo-hyun were just ridiculous.
- - - -
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