Crazy Rose Cafe
Welcome, dear customers.
At Crazy Rose Cafe, we are always delighted to serve every guest who walks through our doors. We offer delicious food and drinks in a classic 90s-style American diner atmosphere.
We are famous for our fragrant rose-infused beverages, our limited breakfast sets, hot pancakes drizzled with rose syrup, and our professionally trained staff. We guarantee that everyone who dines with us will be hooked from their very first visit.
Before enjoying your delightful meal, we kindly ask that you take a moment to read our house rules to preserve the full flavor of your dining experience.
⸻
Dining Rules at Crazy Rose Cafe
1. Customers may only enter and exit through the front door. Please refrain from using any other routes, no matter what. Even if a staff member or another customer encourages you to leave through the back, do not comply.
2. To place an order, please call a staff member wearing a pink and red uniform. Those in green uniforms work in the kitchen and are not responsible for taking orders. If you see a green-uniformed staff member at the front of the cafe, call another staff member and say:
"One deluxe burger with fried roses and a rose milkshake, please."
2.1 If you have no choice but to speak directly to the green-uniformed staff member, say:
"I'd like a ham bagel with extra roses and cheese."
2.2 Regardless of the situation, keep interactions with green-uniformed staff at the front to a minimum. Avoid speaking with them as much as possible, and inform a staff member immediately.
Please keep this in mind: Talking to green-uniformed staff is not wise. It's the cause of certain stains we can't fully remove. Yes—those stains react to chemical tests used for detecting blood, and they are also linked to some of the missing persons cases at Crazy Rose Cafe.
3. After finishing your meal, you may pay at the counter. There is no need to tip—service charges are already included in the bill.
4. Before eating, please always inspect the components of your dish. Make sure no one has secretly swapped your regular meal with the cafe's special recipe plate.
4.1 If you notice anything on your plate that doesn't appear to be part of the main dish—such as a round object resembling an eye in your spaghetti meatballs, a stick that looks suspiciously like a finger in your French fries, or something altogether indescribable—please inform a staff member by saying:
"Could you please warm this up for me?"
Note: Even if you receive a replacement dish, please continue to inspect it carefully. We previously had to call an ambulance for a customer who accidentally swallowed something that looked like a deer's eye—even though we had already brought them a new plate.
4.2 Regardless of what you find, do not show any visible reaction that might alert others to the abnormality in your dish. Any outburst or visible confusion will attract the green-uniformed staff directly to your table, and that will only make things more complicated.
5. If you would like to order takeaway, there will be an additional charge for packaging.
6. If you are dining with young children, please inform a staff member so we can prepare a high chair for them.
7. Customers who post a review of our cafe on social media will receive a 10% discount off their total bill.
However, if your review contains defamatory or false information, we reserve the right to take immediate legal action.
⸻
These are the complete house rules for dining at Crazy Rose Cafe. Please follow them to preserve the dining experience—and for your own safety.
We truly don't want to become part of the town's growing list of urban legends or horror tales. Our only intention is to serve our beloved customers fresh, delicious food every single day.
Thank you for choosing Crazy Rose Cafe. We hope to see you again soon.
Have a wonderful day.
– Crazy Rose Cafe