Tap tap tap tap~
Just as Kamishiro was about to say they should head home, the sudden sound of high heels echoed.
∑(′△｀)?!
High heels? Here?
The three of them turned toward the source of the sound.
And then—
Sanity points were dropping like crazy!!!!
Ahhhhhhhh!!!
My eyes!
My eyes!!!!!!
Kamishiro and the others stared intently at the "beauty" not far off, who was striking seductive poses.
Their eyes were burning—not with desire between man and woman, but with the urge to dispose of hazardous waste!
Ahhhhh!!!
This outfit is a public menace!
Even worse than the JoJo-styled Anya cosplay!
What kind of unshakable mental strength must someone have to walk outside dressed like this?
Wait a minute, with those exaggerated gestures… Does this bastard actually think he's attractive right now?!
Kamishiro was about to throw up. This was just torture—even Kitahara's crossdressing looked better!
That heavy makeup, the blonde wig, the unbelievably fake boobs—if he had to guess, this bastard Nojima was pretending to be some kind of foreign woman.
"Oh! Babies, wanna go have some fun with me~?"
As expected, Nojima started greeting them in awkward English mixed with fluent Japanese.
This scene was even worse than the time Fujiwara pulled out the nail clippers!
"Babies"?! What the hell kind of greeting is that?!
If you're going to pretend to be foreign, at least try harder!
"…So, what do we do now?"
Iori asked with a dark expression. He could feel a primal rage boiling inside him, almost impossible to suppress.
"He doesn't seriously think he can fool us with this crap, does he?!"
Kohei clenched his fists. This felt just like the time he was being tormented by Cake-face.
"Let's go! Take him down!"
Kamishiro couldn't take it anymore either. Something this toxic to the eyes deserved to be eliminated by force!
The three of them quickly approached the Nojima "beauty," who was still pouting seductively.
"Take it slow, boys~"
The three of them: (°д°)
This guy must die today.
"Hey! You there!"
"We need to talk to you!"
"Look up!"
Kamishiro and the others used deliberately menacing tones. After all, what was about to go down would definitely qualify as R-rated, so they might as well act the part.
Sensing the trio standing before him, Nojima—who was being so flirty just a second ago—suddenly dropped his head "bashfully," shoulders trembling.
"..."
(???)
Just as Kamishiro reached out to yank off that disgusting wig—
Before he could even touch it, Nojima ripped off the disguise himself…
And revealed a smug, arrogant grin.
"Hahahahaha! You fools! You've fallen completely for my honey trap!"
Boom.
At that moment—
Kamishiro and the others felt utterly violated.
This was an assault on their sense of aesthetics!
Where, exactly, did this bastard get the idea that they were attracted to this so-called "beauty"?!
They realized they'd been too kind. Against a bastard of this caliber, delinquent-level punishment wasn't nearly enough.
Go full mafia.
Nojima, meanwhile, kept flaunting his "charms," oblivious to their disgusted expressions.
"My plan is flawless!"
He twisted his disgusting body—every movement draining massive amounts of SAN points from the trio.
Iori: "I'm barely restraining the urge to kill."
Kohei: "How should we cook this bastard? Boil or roast?"
Kamishiro: "Where does he get the confidence to taunt us when the power difference is this huge?!"
Even though they were whispering, Nojima still heard them. He sneered and jiggled his "ample" fake breasts.
"Taunting?
You're damn right it is!
But what are you gonna do about it?
Hmph, two virgins.
As for Kamishiro—
You really gonna lay a hand on such a dazzling beauty like me?"
As he spoke, Nojima threw Kamishiro a flirtatious wink.
GAG.
Kamishiro almost vomited up last night's dinner.
He'd had enough.
BAM! He delivered a full-force kick.
"Agh! What the hell?!"
Nojima lay sprawled on the ground, stunned. He clearly hadn't expected them to actually use violence on a "beauty" of his caliber.
Even more shocking—
Why were Imura and Kitahara kicking him too?!
Weren't these two supposed to be entranced by hot chicks like him?
Turns out, Nojima had completely misjudged his enemies based on his own experience.
A spectacular failure.
"OW OW OW!!!
I'm a beautiful girl! You can't treat me like this! Girls are always right!
Wait—DON'T KICK ME THERE!!!"
"Woman?! Woman?! I'll show you woman!"
"Polluting my eyeballs, huh?!"
"Let's make you a real woman then!"
Grinning maniacally, the three of them took turns kicking Nojima in the crotch.
Since this bastard wanted to be a woman so badly, it was their duty—as kind, righteous men—to help him fulfill that dream!
This guy couldn't see himself clearly when he was a man, and now he couldn't see himself clearly as a woman either!
Good thing he wasn't born female, or he'd be leading the charge in feminist Twitter fights.
Ten minutes later...
"Ptooey!"
As per tradition, Kamishiro spat again.
Today was a sinful day~
He was so dehydrated from spitting, he was actually feeling thirsty.
Could really go for a beer...
Thinking of that, Kamishiro's gaze toward Nojima grew dangerous.
Nojima probably had a lot of Fukazawa money stashed away, right?
Iori: (???)
"You're not actually a pervert, are you?"
Seeing his best friend's shady expression, Iori quietly took two steps back.
Had this guy gotten so desperate that even Nojima was starting to look good?
"Get lost. I'm just wondering where Nojima stashed his Fukazawa earnings. Gangsters usually double-cross their own, right?"
Iori's eyes lit up. Right! A golden opportunity!
As victims, they had every right to demand emotional compensation, right?
Determined to become a money-making master like Kamishiro, Iori decided to take action immediately!
He squatted down, grabbed Nojima by the collar, and yanked up his head.
Looking at Nojima's battered face, he couldn't help but feel a little sentimental, remembering Yamamoto and the others.
"It must've been hard getting all that dangerous stuff here."
After all, even his smutty manga had been confiscated earlier.
"..."
Kamishiro gave Iori a look that said "are you an idiot?"
Did this guy seriously think airport security was that dumb?
Yamamoto's crew was obviously carrying nothing that would pass through any security checkpoint!
Nojima twitched slightly. He remembered when they arrived—how they had nearly ended up in the police station eating pork cutlet rice for bringing in cement, knives, tasers, poison, and other banned items.
Damn it all!
After all that trouble, and still couldn't take down these bastards!
Nojima's heart was in ruins. He gave a bitter, self-mocking smile.
"Never thought your willpower would be this strong. I've got no complaints about losing."
"..."
So...
This bastard still thinks he's playing the role of a beauty?!
The three of them clenched their fists again. If it weren't for the fact they'd already wasted too much time earlier, they'd definitely give him another round of "gentle care"!
Hoo...
Kamishiro let out a long breath and looked at Nojima with a professional smile.
"Well then, Nojima san would you kindly hand over your wallet?
Otherwise, those photos of you in women's clothing might just end up on the school forum tomorrow~"
As he spoke, Kamishiro lightly shook his phone—displayed on the screen were clear photos of Nojima cross-dressing.
Σ(っ °Д °;)っ
"What?!"
Nojima stared in shock at the photo just inches away. He had considered all possible factors—except that someone might take pictures!
And upload them to the school forum, no less!
This... this familiar approach… Nojima suddenly understood why embarrassing photos of Kitahara and Imamura would surface on the forum from time to time.
So this is why their popularity never dropped.
But he didn't want that!
Also... why does his cross-dressing look kinda ugly?
Nojima reached out to snatch the phone, but it was no use.
Kamishiro was prepared. With a graceful and firm hand, he grabbed Nojima's wrist.
"Miss Nojima, that phone's expensive~"
Staring at Kamishiro's sly fox-like smile, Nojima clenched his teeth tightly, struggling through an intense inner conflict.
Kamishiro didn't rush him—after all, a proper merchant always gives customers time to think.
He trusted Nojima was smart enough to make the right choice.
Sure enough, a minute later, Nojima sighed, looking utterly defeated.
He collapsed onto the ground, eyes vacant as he stared up at the moonlit sky.
"I have one request."
"Let's hear it."
If it wasn't too much, Kamishiro didn't mind tossing in a little bonus.
"Help me... take off this outfit!"
Kamishiro: "So at least you can die with some dignity?"
Kouhei: "Yeah, looking like that, the only place you're going is straight to hell."
Iori: "Wrong. Even if you strip him naked, he's still a bastard—hell it is.
But out of samurai chivalry..."
Iori reached toward Nojima's chest, intending to remove the annoying fake boobs.
What they didn't know, however, was that in the blind spot of their vision, the corner of Nojima's lips was curling up slightly.
But just for a second. The next moment, the seemingly defeated Nojima suddenly began struggling violently again—
Struggling like a poor girl being assaulted.
The sudden commotion gave the three of them a start.
(▼皿▼＃)
SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
Three smacks landed squarely on Nojima's face.
Iori: "Why the hell are you screaming? Weren't you the one who asked us to strip you?!"
Kouhei: "What if someone comes?!"
Kamishiro: "Miss Nojima, this makes things really awkward for—wait! What's this?"
Kamishiro's sharp eyes noticed a black object nestled inside one of the fake boobs.
It looked... like a wallet!
Instantly, his eyes turned into money signs.
Oh my God, look what I found—my favorite thing!
Disregarding the gross feeling, Kamishiro forcibly yanked out the entire fake chest, wallet and all, despite Nojima's resistance.
Jackpot!
Although it wasn't a huge amount, it was more than enough for some extra income.
Seeing Iori's predatory expression, Kamishiro quickly and discreetly stashed the bills into his own bag with lightning speed.
Then he handed a ¥5,000 note each to Iori and Kouhei.
Iori casually tucked his into his pocket.
As for the ever-honest Kouhei… he stared blankly at the cash in his hand.
His entire worldview was shaking. So this is how money is made?!
"Well, now that we're done here, let's go."
Kamishiro stood up, kindly handed Nojima back his wallet, and began walking away.
"You're not gonna finish undressing him?"
"He's resisting. What's the point?"
Kamishiro replied indifferently. Right now, the priority was getting back and cuddling with some girls for a good night's sleep.
Kouhei nodded dazedly.
But... why were his memories all jumbled?
Kouhei tried to recall: First, he'd somehow gone from an izakaya to a garbage heap.
Then, after waking up, Yamamoto and the others tried to run him over?
After dodging that, he got tased.
And when he came to, there was a cross-dressing freak with heavy makeup...
Honestly, if not for the stinging pain on his cheek, Kouhei would've thought he was still dreaming at the izakaya.
This night... was way too eventful!
________________
As Kamishiro and the others walked away, Nojima laughed—wildly and without restraint.
Finally!
His plan had succeeded!!!
Hahahahahahaha!!!
How foolish they were!
I'm the smartest one here!
Did they really think he didn't know how awful his cross-dressing looked?
That was all part of the deception!
The moment Yamamoto and Fujiwara were taken out, Nojima knew: with normal means, there was no way he could beat those three.
The end result would've been them kicking his ass and then heading off to their romantic rendezvous.
How could he allow that to happen?!
Nojima's grin twisted into a crazed sneer. This time, he was willing to sacrifice himself to ruin their date!
That's right.
All of this—everything—was Nojima's setup.
Even the beating. Even having his money "stolen."
He had purposely stashed his cash in his fake boobs, specifically to trick Kamishiro.
Even if Kamishiro didn't take it outright, he'd definitely be tempted into action.
Because...
Nojima's gaze turned to a nearby bush, where a faint red light blinked softly.
That was the evidence!
Thinking of how chaotic things had gotten tonight, Nojima couldn't help but smile again.
Yamamoto, Fujiwara, I did it!
"Hey hey, did this guy lose his mind or something…"
"Should we just bury him?"
{{(°△°; "}}!
That familiar voice from above startled Nojima. He trembled and asked, "W-Why are you guys back?!"
Kamishiro looked at him suspiciously, something felt off.
"We just remembered something."
"Like what?"
"How did you know I came to Okinawa?"
Iori was puzzled—he had gone to great lengths to keep his trip secret!
"Oh, I overheard that purple-haired lady from the last mixer talking about it in the restaurant."
Huh?!
"Azusa?!"
Iori looked confused and turned to Kamishiro. I never told her anything!
Kamishiro shook his head too—he hadn't gotten the chance to say anything either.
Trying to clear his name, Kamishiro asked again, "Who was Azusa with at the time?"
"A cute girl with a side ponytail!"
Nojima answered immediately. That girl had been pretty adorable too!
"..."
At that, Kamishiro fell silent.
He had a pretty good idea where the problem lay.
With the mystery solved, there was no more reason to linger.
This time, they were really leaving. Before going, Kamishiro patted Nojima on the shoulder encouragingly.
"Hang in there. Just eight more hours until sunrise!"
Then, under Nojima's 'touched' gaze, they walked off coolly.
However, on the way, Kamishiro suddenly remembered something.
He took out his phone and tapped away.
Soon, a new post appeared on Izu University's forum:
"Shocking! First-year student fulfills twisted desires—does this!
[Nojima Beauty Pic.jpg]"
"..."
Iori watched all this in silence, and couldn't help but feel pity for Nojima.
As expected, Kamishiro was still Kamishiro.
Still a total scumbag.