Bang!
The three of them landed heavily in a garbage pile.
Turns out, movies were full of lies—jumping out of cars was really dangerous.
If Fujiwara hadn't been lost in his fantasies and kept the speed low…
And if they hadn't kicked Kohei out first…
Their cool-looking car jump would've ended in a face-to-face with God.
Ironically, right behind them on the wall were the words "Garbage Disposal Site," almost like a divine commentary.
"You two bastards, that really hurt!!!"
Kohei roared as he shoved the two human caterpillars off him. "Can't a guy just peacefully reminisce about his youth?!"
"..."
Kamishiro looked at Kohei, bewildered. Had this guy been hanging around Aina too long and picked up the wrong script?
Was that really his line to say?
"Save the reminiscing for later! Come help us!"
Iori writhed on the ground like a real caterpillar, squirming toward Kohei as he shouted.
"Huh?" Kohei finally noticed that something was off.
In his memory, they were supposed to be drinking at an izakaya. So why were they suddenly in the middle of nowhere?
And…
"Why are you two tied up? What happened?"
brain.exe stopped working
Kamishiro and Iori looked at this big idiot who had just woken up.
Some blond-haired people are like manga protagonists. Others are just like clueless puppies.
It was a miracle he'd made it this far in life.
They both wanted to roast him, but there was no time for that!
"Forget what happened!"
"Just untie us, quick!"
They urged him frantically. There was no time—if they didn't act fast, Yamamoto and Fujiwara would catch up!
"Oh…"
Though he didn't understand what was happening, Kohei obediently stepped forward to untie them, seeing their panic.
He had drunk quite a bit earlier, and his head still hurt a bit.
Just as he was about to untie Kamishiro—
A bright light suddenly shone into his eyes!
In that instant,
Kohei sobered up real fast.
"What the…? That idiot—wait, what the hell?!"
He was about to cuss out whoever turned on the light when he saw a square object barreling toward him through the glare.
A wave of terror washed over him, turning his face pale. He instinctively leapt to the side, even giving Kamishiro a kick while he did.
Kamishiro hovered in mid-air, staring blankly at the van speeding toward them.
His hatred for Yamamoto and Fujiwara crystallized in that moment.
Compared to this, drowning almost seemed merciful—at least you got a few hours of whole-body preservation!
Still, he was grateful for Kohei's kick.
Blondies may be gullible, but they're surprisingly reliable!
Too bad for Kitahara though…
Sigh…
Kamishiro sighed inwardly. Even with the garbage cushion, Kitahara was probably going to be seriously injured.
Looked like he wouldn't be seeing tomorrow's sunrise…
Just as Kamishiro thought that, he realized his airborne journey now had a companion.
Seeing Iori's fierce expression as he launched himself, Kamishiro couldn't help but feel admiration.
"You're really lucky!"
No wonder people called Kitahara the cockroach—this guy had a lot in common with one!
Iori squeezed out a smile on his pale face. "This is the power of the athletic club!"
"..."
And just like that, the two of them chatted as they plunged into the bushes down a small hill.
________________
Boom!
Just as expected, the van crashed straight into the garbage pile.
Trash flew everywhere, making the battle-hardened vehicle look even more pitiful.
However, the two culprits didn't care about any of that. As soon as they rushed out of the car, they frantically began searching the area.
Cruel smiles were still hanging on their faces.
Yamamoto: "Hey hey hey, is this some kind of hide-and-seek game?"
Fujiwara: "Don't bother hiding. Even if we have to dig three feet into the ground, we're going to find you!"
"..."
Hidden in the grass, two little caterpillars cautiously squirmed their bodies.
Listening to the threats from above, cold sweat began to drip from their foreheads.
"These guys seem serious... just how deep does this grudge go...?"
Iori pushed aside some leaves with his head and whispered, completely confused as to why they were acting so recklessly this time.
"Well, I told you earlier—if you'd just used the bonus to pay back your debts, none of this would've happened. Judging by how crazy they are now, Mitarai is probably already dead..."
Thinking of his stand-in, Kamishiro silently lit a candle for him in his heart.
Unfortunately, he wasn't a very good substitute—not even worthy of Kamishiro building a grave for him.
A proper stand-in should take all the damage meant for the original when they die.
But Mitarai… he didn't even take all of his own damage, and ended up provoking the thugs even more.
"Now's not the time for sarcastic commentary! Besides, you're just a con artist! I'd rather die than repay you!"
Iori growled angrily. He still couldn't figure out how he managed to rack up a debt of 300,000 yen so foolishly!
Some people don't even make 300,000 a month!
"Pfft."
Kamishiro curled his lips and didn't bother arguing. After all, he had the IOU. He could just go to Iori's uncle later and collect.
Wait a second—if he did that, wouldn't the uncle refuse to let Iori inherit the inn?
At that thought, Kamishiro suddenly hesitated.
Maybe Shiori could offer a better price to buy the IOU instead?
Unfortunately, before Kamishiro could finish thinking through that possibility, Yamamoto and Fujiwara's voices echoed again from the hillside.
Yamamoto: "Kitahara, Kamishiro! You two better listen up!"
Fujiwara: "We will find you and execute you with extreme prejudice!"
"..."
Execute? That's seriously messed up!
Just that one line alone was enough to land them a full night of tea at the police station.
"It feels like their grudge is way too intense. Don't we usually at least try negotiating first?"
Kamishiro was baffled. They'd been captured by the Four Beasts over girl troubles before.
And while their lives were technically in danger, negotiations usually happened.
And after the terms were agreed upon, they'd just let them go.
Some even dropped to their knees and cried "Daddy!"
So what was going on now?
"I don't—"
"Maybe they were provoked by something."
Before Iori could finish, a voice from the nearby grass answered Kamishiro's question.
A blond head emerged, clutching his head. "Damn, how much did I drink...?"
"Kouhei!" ×2
The two of them beamed with joy. This blond guy really was a calming presence!
"Quick, help untie us!"
Kamishiro squirmed desperately. The way they were tied up was seriously damaging his image.
He strongly recommended Yamamoto and Fujiwara learn proper shibari techniques—at least it would highlight his figure.
"So what's actually going on? Why are Yamamoto and the others even here?"
"They look like they've gone full outlaw mode."
As he untied them, Kouhei asked. He'd almost been skinned alive just now.
"Well... it's kind of complicated to explain."
Kamishiro flexed his wrists and started explaining what had happened after Kouhei passed out drunk.
…
A few minutes later, after getting caught up, Kouhei sighed and looked at them both with a mix of confusion and disbelief.
It was the kind of look that said, "That's it?"
As a rich otaku, Kouhei truly couldn't understand why someone would go so far over 300,000 yen—or out of jealousy over a guy traveling with a 3D girl.
But then again, it did kind of make sense, considering it was the Four Beasts.
Kamishiro: "I don't get it either, but facts are facts!"
Iori: "Still don't know what they're even angry about!"
Iori was feeling wronged. Sure, 300,000 yen sounded like a lot, but split among a few people, it wasn't much. Definitely not worth a manhunt!
And as for traveling with a girl… totally innocent!
He and Chisa had a very pure cohabitation. They even stayed in separate rooms on this trip! His only goal was to quietly shock everyone!
(っ╥╯﹏╰╥c)
If anyone should be hunted, it was that scumbag Kamishiro!
At that moment—
The voices of the hunters rang out again.
"Tch, I advise you come out on your own!"
"If we find you, you'll really suffer!"
Hearing those familiar lines, Kamishiro couldn't help but picture Yamamoto and Fujiwara squatting with dramatic flair.
If this were a hidden-camera prank show, the comedic effect would be through the roof.
If only he wasn't the one being pranked.
Kouhei glanced toward the source of the voices. "So what's the plan now? Judging by how determined they are, not even the ocean will hide you."
When it came to hunting traitors, the Four Beasts were unusually thorough and patient.
"In that case—"
"We'll have to take them down one by one!"
Kamishiro and Iori spoke in perfect sync.
At this point, there was no room for escape. The place had become a dueling arena.
Kouhei: "Oh? So you have a plan?"
Without hesitation, Kamishiro clapped Iori on the shoulder. "Of course! We've got the underhanded tactics specialist right here!"
Iori: "Stop calling me that…"
He preferred to be called the brains of the operation. That title was more fitting for Kamishiro!
But Iori didn't bother arguing right now. Once they beat Yamamoto and Fujiwara, there'd be plenty of time for that!
Iori: "Here's the plan. There are three of us—we have the numbers advantage!
Their main targets are me and Kamishiro. So we'll draw their attention, and Kouhei, you sneak up and ambush them!"
Kamishiro: "Excellent! Well done, Kitahara!"
A deviously simple plan, taking advantage of Yamamoto and Fujiwara's hatred to make them drop their guard. Kamishiro estimated a 99% success rate!
He couldn't imagine how they could possibly lose!
But in the very next second, both Kamishiro and Iori were dumbfounded—
"I refuse."
Just as they were about to spring into action, they froze in place, staring at Kouhei in disbelief.
Iori: "The wind must've been too loud. We must've misheard."
Kamishiro: "Yeah, haha… the wind is kind of strong tonight."
Kouhei: ?_?
"I refuse!"
Boom!
Their grins froze in place. This 99% guaranteed plan failed before it even began!
"Why the hell not, you bastard?!"
"I should be asking why you assumed I'd just agree."
Kouhei's voice was calm. "Refusing is more in line with my usual character, isn't it?"
"..."
Perfect. Now this bastard suddenly remembered how his script was supposed to go.
But… had he forgotten something?
"We're all in the same boat here."
"You think those two psychos will spare you?"
"Hmph. I can't think of a single reason why they'd be after me!"
Kouhei scoffed.
Even though Kamishiro had explained earlier that he'd been captured too, Kouhei didn't buy it!
He was convinced that Kamishiro and Kitahara had dragged him into this just to use him as a shield.
There was no reason Yamamoto and Fujiwara would go after him of all people. What, just because he was traveling with the cakey?
Ha! Don't make me laugh.
His goal was the same as theirs—ruin Kitahara's happiness!
…Although he had been forced into it, the result was still a win~
(???)
Kamishiro and Iori stared silently at the overly-confident Kouhei.
Then bowed with exaggerated courtesy.
"Well then—"
"Why don't you go find out for yourself?"
"Gladly!"
Kouhei straightened his clothes and confidently strode out.
Seeing those two menacing figures from behind, Kohei greeted them like a typical anime protagonist.
"Yo!"
"Hm?"
Yamamoto and Fujiwara turned around. The moment they saw Kohei, their previously fierce expressions instantly softened.
Yamamoto: "Oh, it's just Kohei."
Fujiwara: "What a coincidence! Didn't expect to see you here."
Seeing how surprised they looked, Kohei became even more convinced of his suspicion.
Those two bastards definitely brought him here. Yamamoto and Fujiwara clearly didn't know he had just been in the car!
As for the crash… maybe they didn't notice?
Kohei: "Well, nothing I can do. I guess I got tricked into coming here too."
Otherwise, he'd still be at home playing his new game!
Fujiwara: "Haha, I see. By the way, Imamura, have you seen Kitahara and Kamishiro? They seemed to have dropped around here earlier."
Kohei: "Ah, I haven't seen them."
Since Kamishiro was at least a fellow otaku, Kohei decided to spare him for now.
"I see, so you haven't."
Yamamoto nodded with a smile, acting like everything was normal.
But the moment he placed a hand on Kohei's shoulder—
A demon appeared!
"Hey, Kohei, let me ask you something. What's your relationship with that short-haired girl?"
"Short-haired?" Kohei, still clueless, responded instinctively, "Cakey?"
"Cakey? Wow, you two even have nicknames for each other? How sweet, I'm jealous!"
"Nicknames? Jealous? Wait! You guys misunderstood something!"
Finally, Kohei realized something wasn't right.
Unfortunately, it was too late!
Crackle! Boom!
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Amid a flurry of lightning and thunder, Kohei collapsed, his entire body emitting the smell of grilled meat.
His eyes were full of confusion.
To the very end, he had no idea why he was electrocuted.
"..."
Hiding in the bushes, two figures who had witnessed everything silently offered their prayers for Kohei.
He's well done now.