Slurp~
Shiro could already picture piles of fortune waving at him!
Dollars and pounds? Totally acceptable too~
However...
When he saw the full appearance of the two foreigners, he suddenly felt like maybe this fortune wasn't something he had to earn.
"Recommending that kind of stuff to people, of course they'd be offended! (German)"
"You should return that comment right back! You clearly don't understand the duties of a gallant escort! (German)"
"Try it if you dare! (German)"
What a scene—two blond-haired, blue-eyed buffed foreigners arguing loudly in the hallway.
Normally, that wouldn't be strange. The problem was...
Their outfits!!!
One was clearly wearing a cosplay outfit—like some kind of wandering samurai?
And the other… a muscle-bound magical girl?!
The moment he saw them, Shiro sat right back down. This was one fortune he could happily pass on. All he wanted now was to be as far away from those two as possible.
After all—
They totally looked like the kind of people you'd get dragged off for "pork cutlet bowl" with if you got too close!
(′｀;)?
The three others nearby stared blankly as Shiro tried to make himself disappear.
"What's wrong, Shiro?"
"You look like you just saw something terrifying."
"Too scared to go remind them now?"
Iori smirked with mockery on his face. Couldn't even go issue a simple reminder? Weak.
Shiro didn't explain. He simply gestured to Iori with a "be my guest" wave.
No hesitation—confidently, Iori stood up.
One second later—
He sat right back down, posture straighter than a schoolkid's in homeroom.
This naturally piqued Kohei and Aina's curiosity.
"What the heck happened over there?"
"Are those two foreigners seriously that buff?"
The two were about to turn and look, but Shiro and Iori stopped them instantly.
"Don't do it. You might not make it back."
"Just hold your breath at times like these!"
"…Are you dealing with beasts or actual humans over there?"
Aina was starting to feel like this trip was getting wildly off-topic. And honestly, this kind of cryptic talk only made her more curious!
Ten seconds later—
Everything quieted down. Shiro and Iori both exhaled, relief spreading across their faces.
"Told you, just hold your breath."
"Works for both large beasts and deranged humans—"
(≡Д≡;)
Iori suddenly choked off mid-sentence.
He had just peeked to see if the train attendant had managed to handle those two foreigners—
Instead, he saw them kneeling like loyal knights before a queen.
And that queen… was Chisa!
Upon witnessing that, Iori immediately yanked his head back. Now came the moment of choice!
He crossed his arms in front of his chin, casting a perfect shadow that obscured his eyes. He looked like a final boss in an RPG.
"We came here as a group of four, right? No one else was invited!"
"What the hell is going on?!"
Aina was completely lost. Weren't they just supposed to go stop the foreigners from arguing?
How had it turned into Chisa being cut out entirely with just one look?
"When you say that, maybe check behind you first..."
Shiro reminded him coolly. Sometimes, people really don't learn.
!!
As a childhood friend, Iori instantly understood what that meant.
"I'm gonna go use the bathroom!"
He stood up, preparing to escape using the legendary Pee Evasion Technique!
Smack~
Too late.
Chisa's hand landed squarely on Iori's shoulder. He turned around—and met her dazzlingly bright smile.
And of course, Chisa didn't come back alone. She had brought the two very enthusiastic foreigners with her.
Then, like a graceful Yamato Nadeshiko, she proudly introduced the people beside her:
"This my lover~"
At that moment—
Shiro felt like he was watching a full-blown kabuki face-change show.
Chisa's radiant charm.
Iori's raw terror.
Aina's heartbreak.
Kohei's utter confusion.
And those two foreigners' eyes—brimming with murderous intent.
Gulp gulp~
Shiro calmly took another sip of beer. This trip was getting more interesting by the minute.
Now if only he had a beauty at his side, it would be perfect~
Just as he thought that, Shiro noticed—
Not far away, a flash of golden hair!
"You tried something with her, didn't you?! (German)"
"If she loses her virginity, she can't use magic anymore! (German)"
"Wait, wait, hold on!"
"I don't know what you're saying, but someone's gonna deal with this soon..."
Iori couldn't understand a word of what they were saying, but just judging by their tone and expressions—it was clearly not friendly.
Their appearance and clothing also screamed trouble.
At this point, even the German teacher at their school seemed like a normal foreigner by comparison.
Which meant—Iori had no choice but to bust out his secret weapon.
"Shiro!"
He called out coolly, like a hero summoning his trump card.
But when he turned—Shiro was already gone.
Only an empty beer can remained on his seat.
(;?＿?)
"He said he went out hunting," Aina said casually, jotting a note into her phone's memo app.
All of this was evidence against Shiro!
"Hunting?"
Iori's eye twitched. No way it was just a coincidence.
That guy definitely snuck off. Damn traitor! Zero bros before foes loyalty!
Of course, Iori didn't realize that what he was doing—shifting the danger onto someone else—wasn't exactly brotherly either.
However—
This time, he was wrong about Shiro.
Shiro really was out hunting.
He was now seated beside that blonde lady.
From a distance earlier, he hadn't noticed—but now he realized: she was a foreign big sister!
No wonder that figure was so curvy~
Hopefully she wasn't with those two foreign weirdos from earlier.
Shiro glanced back toward Iori's group. Yeah—those two were definitely freaks.
After a short mental crash, Iori recovered!
There was still Plan B!
Not finding Shiro, he immediately pushed Kohei forward!
"Go Imamura Kohei!"
"Don't screw me over, you bastard!"
Kohei looked completely stunned. What the hell was going on? Why had he been offered up?!
Wasn't it this same jerk who wouldn't let him look at the foreigners earlier?!
"What do you mean? I'm helping you develop your social skills~"
Iori grinned shamelessly. He'd even prepared the perfect excuse.
"Meeting strangers for the first time—especially foreigners—how do you expect me to just—"
Mid-sentence, Kohei suddenly stopped.
As he looked over, he noticed something very important.
Those two foreign guys… had Rarako keychains and pins!
Which meant...
They were fellow fans!
And the foreigners, in turn, had also noticed the clothing and headband Kohei wore—
Signs of a true brother-in-otaku-arms.
After staring at each other for a second, their hands clasped together with a firm grip!
Kindred spirits!!!
"..."
Although she didn't fully understand what was going on, seeing the three of them chatting and laughing so joyfully...
Iori still let out a sigh of relief, wiped the imaginary sweat off his forehead, and sat back down. "Handled!"
(???)
Chisa and Aina quietly scooted away from Iori, trying to distance themselves as much as possible.
They weren't sure if it was just the impression Iori gave off, but deep down, they had a feeling—this wasn't over.
And sure enough—
Not long after, the two foreign guys beside Kohei pointed at Iori and started jabbering away in a foreign language.
Kohei didn't actually understand what his two fellow enthusiasts were saying, but there was a strange mutual understanding among kindred spirits.
He more or less got the idea.
After sizing Iori up, Kohei smiled and said, "OK, OK, I think so."
The next second, that smile on his face turned twisted as he gave Iori a thumbs-down.
"Go for it!"
The two foreign guys reacted like soldiers receiving a command. They pulled out brass knuckles and a bag of cement!
At this moment—
Iori understood.
Isn't this just like what happened at Izu University?!
Who the hell were these guys?! Why did they carry cement and brass knuckles around with them?!
He started wondering if he had some kind of cursed ability:
"100% chance of opponent pulling out cement from behind their back."
Otherwise, why did every lunatic he met come at him with cement?!
Also…
"What the hell made you guys click so easily?!"
Kohei had just met these two, hadn't he?!
"Don't you think she's too good for you?!" (in German)
"You don't deserve her!" (in German)
Hmm, still a language he didn't understand.
Iori tried to think of a way to bluff his way through it.
Meanwhile—
"Chisa, do you understand what they're saying?"
Aina whispered, sounding like a struggling student asking the class genius for help.
"Uh, a bit…"
Chisa's expression looked awkward—she would have preferred not to understand.
"Eh? You can actually understand them, Chisa?!"
Aina, who hadn't expected anything, looked at her in surprise. Was Chisa actually a real genius?!
"Yeah… our major includes some German courses."
"So they're German, huh."
Now Aina understood their nationality. Their clothing and faces didn't give it away at all…
"Wait a sec! Isn't Iori in the same major as you?"
Chisa silently nodded, though she didn't want to admit it.
"..."
Perfect.
Aina now knew who the real slacker was.
Same major, same classes.
One could understand foreign conversations…
The other couldn't even figure out what country they were from.
She truly pitied their poor professor.
Meanwhile, Iori had no idea he'd been branded as the "true academic failure".
He was still trying to handle the two foreigners.
After thinking hard, he decided to copy Kohei's strategy!
He gave them a big smile. "I think so!"
Hearing that, the two foreign guys paused, then seemed to understand something.
"Okay, okay~"
"Hahahaha."
Seeing them smile, Iori smiled too. He hadn't expected Kohei's approach to be so effective.
But the very next second—
Two demonic faces appeared in front of him, each holding a bottle of brown liquor.
"Trinken!"
Great.
He still didn't understand the word, but based on their faces and the booze in their hands, it was easy to guess.
So…
Why did the same phrase lead to such different results?!
Iori went to Kohei for help again, hoping he'd translate.
"Help me out—just tell them I mean no harm."
"Hah? Why would I do that?"
Kohei shrugged. He didn't want any part of this mess.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, I don't even know what language they're speaking!"
Aina twitched at the corner of her mouth. She had just found another "true academic failure."
"Then how the hell did you guys hit it off so well?!"
After all, Kohei had just been acting like a commanding officer!
"Well, even if they can't speak the same language, some people just click."
Iori looked again at the two foreigners and their outfits...
"Yeah, fair enough…"
He had no choice but to accept reality.
Just then, the two foreign guys suddenly burst into loud laughter while pointing at the beer and water nearby.
"So this is the drinking capacity of Japanese people?!" (in German)
"They're already reaching for water after just a few sips. If they can't handle us, we'll let them off easy!" (in German)
At that moment—
Even though Iori and Kohei didn't understand the words, they miraculously grasped the intent.
Everything else could be ignored…
But not this.
BANG!
They each downed a shot of the foreigner's Jägermeister.
They had decided to go head-to-head with these two foreigners!
"We're from PAB. We might not be good at anything else—"
"But when it comes to alcohol…"
We will NEVER lose!!