*THUD THUD THUD!*
After learning the truth, Shiro frantically bashed his head on the floor.
"Why, *why*!?"
He never imagined it could connect like this?
This was a freshly baked problem!
Fresher than fresh!
Kohei's reveal elevated this non-issue to a whole new level!
No doubt
If the others learned the truth, the discussion would be over!
"You… did you awaken some weird trait or something?"
Shiro's face twisted as he stared at Kohei. Would a normal person become an online VTuber?
And use voice modulation to boot!
Kohei just shrugged innocently. "No choice. My collection's short on funds, so I took a side gig."
"…"
Shiro clutched his face in agony. Kohei had taken college side hustles to a new, unreachable height.
Then, something clicked. Shiro leaned in quietly. "Did you earn much?"
"Yamamoto's tipped at least 50,000 yen!"
￥￥
In that moment, Shiro's squinting eyes turned into money signs.
He was already planning to learn voice modulation. Knowledge is endless, right?
It's a money-making skill!
If it's too hard, he wouldn't mind being a voice-changer warrior. Guys like Yamamoto wouldn't notice anyway.
Wait!
Yamamoto?
!
Lost in fantasies, Shiro had forgotten about him.
Yamamoto was still immersed in his sweet married life with *Kohei*.
"She'd wear a naked apron to make me breakfast~"
???
In the brief moment Shiro zoned out, Yamamoto's delusions had reached *this* level?
To prevent him from dying of overexcitement, Shiro cut in.
"Give it up. This love of yours has *no* chance!"
Though the naked apron part might actually happen…
"Why are you so sure?!"
Because the object of your fantasy is the blond idiot in this room!
Unable to say it aloud, Shiro could only rant internally.
But Yamamoto exploded. "You think this girl's 2D too?!"
(???)
Just end it all. Suddenly, I'm so tired…
Maybe they *could* work out. Yamamoto and Kohei, beast and beauty.
So eye-searing!!!
Maybe Shiro's silence stung Yamamoto's fragile heart.
He pounded the floor, roaring, "Damn it! Why?! Why… why can't I even break that thin screen?!"
Because that screen's called a dimension… and breaking it would reveal an even harsher reality.
Shiro ranted wildly in his head. This meet-up was *explosive*.
He glanced at the other party involved.
Only to find
The other party was already in tears?!
Under Shiro's bewildered gaze, Kohei approached Yamamoto with tears in his eyes.
The two exchanged a glance, then hugged each other tightly!
"You understand me, right, Imamura!"
"That should be my line, Yamamoto!"
"..."
At this moment, the protagonists of this ridiculous tale worthy of being written into a script embraced each other in a bizarre form of reconciliation.
A happy ending?
Shiro rubbed the space between his brows and decided not to get involved with these two anymore. Let them live in their love-hate bromance.
He did, however, quietly leave them with one final reminder:
"The 2D world is great and all, but it won't save you from dying a virgin.
Like that guy who married Hatsune Miku—he's probably still a virgin."
Smack!
Hearing this, Yamamoto immediately let go of Kohei and uninstalled his beloved waifu app on the spot!
"I'm graduating from this nonsense!"
This sudden action left Kohei completely dumbfounded. Annoyed, he immediately got into a real close-range scuffle with Yamamoto.
"Yamamoto! You traitor!"
"Huh? I was never on your side to begin with, you delusional maniac!"
Everyone quietly turned their gazes away.
Ah… such a fragile friendship~
To help the two make up, Shiro decided to tell Yamamoto Sakuya's true identity after the party.
That scene would definitely be harmonious~
(λ?_??)
"Then I guess it's my turn now."
Before Shiro could say a word, his stand-in, Mitarai, took the initiative.
For some reason, seeing Mitarai's punchable face gave Shiro a very bad feeling.
Plus...
He had a strong hunch their problems might end up being very similar.
Sure enough, the moment this guy opened his mouth, nobody wanted to hear the rest.
"My problem… is that my childhood friend, Rie, found out I was cheating, and now she's coming to kill me for real!"
"..."
Everyone's expressions immediately darkened. Slowly, wicked smiles spread across their faces.
"You bastard, you're bragging, aren't you?! This is definitely bragging!"
"Cheating?"
"So you've been hitting on another girl?"
"You already have a childhood friend and still shamelessly flirt around."
"And now you have the gall to brag about it to us? Truly courageous~"
"Hehehe…"
Looking at those creepy grins, Mitarai suddenly realized—
He might've made a terrible mistake.
This wasn't going to be any better than facing Rie herself!
"Wait, listen to me! I only exchanged contact info with that girl, that's literally all I did!"
"Oh?"
Hearing his excuse, Yamamoto and the others only smiled even wider.
Somehow, ropes appeared out of nowhere. As they bound Mitarai up, they "kindly" spoke:
"So you already exchanged contact info, huh?"
"That's totally cheating~"
"I don't even have a single girl's number in my phone, you lucky bastard~"
To be honest, Yamamoto was weirdly good at tying people up.
Before Mitarai even realized it, he was tied up like a caterpillar and hung upside down.
Then, those demons finally revealed their true faces—envy, twisted rage!
They grabbed clubs and began pummeling him like a punching bag.
"DIE! Go die already!"
"Commit seppuku like a real man!"
"Maybe a walk of shame through town would be better."
"Or how about a bungee jump… with no rope?"
Gulp—
Watching this "execution," Shiro quietly swallowed a mouthful of spit as he jabbed at Mitarai's butt with his own stick.
Thankfully, he had already foreseen this outcome and repackaged his problem beforehand.
Otherwise, he might've been the one hanging there!
Better keep a low profile for now.
With that in mind, Shiro continued his relentless assault on the defenseless flower.
#Jab!
"AAAHHH!!! WHO'S JABBING MY BUTT?! DAMMIT, CAN'T YOU GUYS JUST LISTEN FOR A SECOND?!"
Hearing this, everyone paused and looked at Mitarai with clear annoyance.
"Speak. Any last words?"
"WHY LAST WORDS?!" Seeing them raise their clubs again, Mitarai frantically shouted, "Rie has always been stubborn since we were kids…"
"Hah?"
Yamamoto's forehead veins bulged. "So you are bragging again, huh?!"
"NO! LISTEN TO ME—I JUST NEED YOU GUYS TO HELP ME! TELL HER IT WAS YOU WHO MADE ME EXCHANGE CONTACTS!"
!!!
(?°?д°?)
"WHY DRAG US INTO THIS?!" ×5
Thinking of Rie's terrifying strength, everyone broke out in cold sweat.
They had personally seen her lift Mitarai with one hand!
Among the people Shiro knew, only the seniors could pull that off.
In other words…
Rie = Senior = Beast!
No way were they going up against that beast!
"Please! She'll be here any second!"
Still hanging in the air, Mitarai began struggling desperately.
He could feel it—
The breath of death!
"You bastard, this was your plan all along, huh?!"
"No wonder you volunteered your place for the party!"
"Everything was a setup from the start!"
"You planned to drag us down with you!"
Everyone's faces twisted in fury—this was all a damn trap!
Good thing they noticed in time. If they just packed up and ran now...
Ding dong~
The devil is knocking~
Too late.
They were already surrounded!
In that case...
The guys exchanged looks and nodded in perfect sync.
They grabbed the root of all evil—caterpillar Mitarai—and threw him out the door!
When facing a demon, obviously you offer a sacrifice to save yourself!
"Off you go!"
"You can die for us!"
"We'll burn incense for you later!"
"AAAAHHH!!! YOU TRAITORS!!!"
Helpless, Mitarai was tossed outside.
Lifting his head, he saw his childhood friend—Rie—wreathed in black smoke.
{{(°△°; "}}!
"R-Rie-chan?"
"Hey there, Yuu-oniichan."
Rie greeted him expressionlessly, eyes filled with dark resentment.
"Didn't I tell you not to talk to other girls…"
Just saying it again made her lose control. Veins bulged on her arms.
The five guys spying from inside had no doubts about the strength behind that punch.
"What do you think will happen?"
"Without a doubt—a shattered jaw."
"Maybe even crushed brain matter?"
They discussed it seriously. None of them believed Mitarai would get out unscathed.
For a moment, they didn't envy him anymore.
However!
Shiro sensed something was off.
Looking at the nearly-judged Mitarai, his face turned serious.
"Wait! Something's not right. Something's very wrong! Can't you guys feel that presence?!"
"Which one are you talking about?"
"Don't speak in riddles!"
Yamamoto and the others were completely bewildered. Aside from the murderous aura, they couldn't sense anything else.
Seeing Rie raise her hand high for a karate chop, Shiro's eyes narrowed.
"A scumbag aura hitting me in the face!"
"..."
"And how exactly did you sense that?"
"Don't ask. If you must know, it's a special connection between a stand-in and their original."
Shiro replied without even turning his head, his eyes fixed on Mitarai. He still hadn't figured out how Mitarai was planning to get out of this mess.
At that moment—
Rie's karate chop was coming down fast, and just as Mitarai was on the brink of death, he finally shouted—
"Rie! Let's get married!!!"
Boom—
Time seemed to stop in that instant—
The five people in the room stood frozen, mouths agape, staring at the two of them.
Marriage...
To people who didn't even have girlfriends, that felt like a fantasy!
But no matter how you looked at it—this was ridiculous!
If this was a proposal, it was way too rash. No girl would agree to this!
Yet reality proved otherwise.
Rie, upon hearing Mitarai's "heartfelt" confession, finally showed a pampering smile.
"Good boy~"
Looking at the "harmonious" scene between the two, Shiro and the others were all petrified.
So then—
What exactly did they come here for today?!
…