At the entrance to Kabukicho Street
A lively, blue-haired girl was scolding a zombified Iori!
"What the hell are you doing here?! You're supposed to be on the run and you end up in a place like this?"
"It's a job interview! We're just here to apply for jobs…"
The next-gen Makeup Zombie weakly tried to defend himself, though he didn't even believe his own excuse.
"You liar! I caught you red-handed and you're still trying to fool me?!"
Aina, face flushed with embarrassment, shook Iori violently. She was beyond glad she'd dragged Chisa along—and that she had sharp eyes.
Well, actually, she noticed Kamishiro in his dress because he looked way too pretty. She stared a second too long.
That second glance was enough—Kamashiro's makeup was just like before at the café. Only the maid outfit had changed to a kimono.
But none of that mattered.
What mattered was—she had successfully stopped Iori from stepping into the abyss!
She couldn't even imagine what might have happened if she'd arrived just a few minutes later.
Iori: I would've been thrilled, actually (?????)*
Most importantly—
What kind of place were they trying to enter?!
Short hair? She had short hair.
Flat chest? She had that too.
There was a perfectly good version of that at home, and yet he had to sneak out and cheat?!
Clearly, the flower at home will never be as fragrant as the one growing in the wild (╥_╥)
Having watched way too many romance dramas, Aina couldn't help but insert herself into the role of the wronged wife catching her cheating husband in Kabukicho.
(;?＿?)
Chisa, ignoring the Makeup Zombie duo's bickering, eyed the two "pretty girls" dressed in kimono—just like herself—and asked, "So why are you dressed like that again?"
"Oh, this? We're evading assassination attempts," Kamashiro said nonchalantly as he snapped some photos of the Makeup Zombie Iori with his precious camera.
Then he explained everything in detail to Chisa.
They'd been on the run all day...
Chisa, however, didn't show the slightest sympathy. She looked at the two of them with open disdain.
"And you ended up here, in Kabukicho, 'sampling the services'?"
Kamashiro and Kohei glanced at each other, looking completely innocent.
"Chisa, you know me. I'm too hot to need this kind of place!"
"You know me too, Chisa. I'm not even into 3D women!"
Their firm gazes and righteous expressions gave Chisa pause.
Now that she thought about it, they did have a point.
So this really is Iori's fault after all.
With that conclusion, her expression toward Iori turned even more disgusted—like she was looking at the result of a cockroach mating with a rat.
"Come on, don't be too hard on Iori. He's got his reasons. Let me show you a few photos and you'll understand," said the ever-helpful Kamashiro.
He was going to clear his bro's name!
He pulled out his phone and showed Chisa a "carefully edited" version of the footage—one that made it seem like Iori had gone off on his own and Kamashiro had nothing to do with it.
From the moment Iori spotted the sign "Yoshiwara House" and lit up with joy, to him reaching enlightenment while mumbling about oppai—
It was his masterpiece.
Unfortunately, Chisa's expression didn't change at all. Her eyes even seemed to say: Serves him right.
Seeing that, Kamashiro shrugged helplessly. Well, I tried, bro. ???????‵?
Kohei looked over at him with dead fish eyes.
"If I remember right, didn't you swear you wouldn't show those to anyone?"
(′｀;)?
Kamashiro looked at him like he was the crazy one.
"You misremembered. I said I wouldn't upload them to the forums. Something this beautiful deserves to be shared!"
"..."
Kohei facepalmed.
Of course. This scumbag wouldn't miss a chance like this.
With that in mind, Kohei suddenly felt bad for Kitahara.
I need to do something.
"Send me a copy."
（λ?_??）
"Hehehehe, this one looks good. Let's send it to Azu-nee~"
At the bustling intersection of Kabukichō, Kamishiro Shiro wore a pervy grin as he sent his "trophy" to Azusa.
However, he overlooked one important fact—this was Kabukichō, after all. The men and women who came here all had needs!
And him?
A breathtakingly beautiful "girl" standing around in this area had already drawn the attention of countless men, all of whom were speculating which shop she belonged to and how they could get their hands on her.
If they found out that the goddess they were eyeing could pull out something even bigger than their own, they'd probably start questioning their entire lives.
At that moment—
In a dark corner, a greasy, balding middle-aged man with a Mediterranean hairline had locked his eyes on Kamishiro-ko.
With a pervy look on his face, he wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth and muttered, "Goddamn, that's top-tier. Must be hella expensive."
The sleazy man thought about his meager savings, and his face twisted with frustration.
Someone like him clearly didn't have the qualifications to enjoy such a high-end girl, but when he looked at that delicate face, he just couldn't bring himself to give up.
After all, someone like this was incredibly rare in Kabukichō—usually, they were picked up in private cars and taken directly to their destination.
Suddenly, he remembered something from the news, and a disgusting grin crept across his face.
Since you're in this line of work, you wouldn't want to cause a scene, right? So just be a good girl and let uncle give you a "physical check," okay?
You f*ing bch!
With that disgusting thought, the sleazy bald man slowly began approaching Kamishiro-ko…
"Alright, alright, these few are good enough. We still have to go meet up with Nanae-san."
Seeing that Iori had finished getting chewed out, Kamishiro Shiro promptly packed up all his tools.
He couldn't let Iori find out—he was preparing a big surprise for him, after all.
"Let's go. We're supposed to be heading to a certain high school now."
Kamishiro Shiro stood up calmly. Even in front of the victim of the embarrassing photos he just sent out, he didn't show a hint of guilt.
For some reason, Iori suddenly felt a chill run down his spine.
He had the distinct feeling that someone was out to get him!
Exhausted in both body and mind, Iori lifelessly muttered, "Are you sure this is okay? That place is basically those guys' main base…"
"Don't worry, there's absolutely no problem. You look like a ghost now—there's no way anyone will recognize you~"
Shirou Kamashiro was extremely confident in the makeup techniques he had sneakily learned. Even if he and Kohei were exposed, that bastard Kitahara absolutely wouldn't be able to recognized by them.
Don't underestimate the legacy of the "Makeup Corpse Beast"!
"..."
Hearing that only made Iori more upset.
Tokyo was the absolute worst (╥_╥)
Seeing the subway station not far away, Shirou hummed a tune and walked over. Once they were safely on the train, he planned to post online to mock those perverts.
So weak—there were so many of them, and yet they couldn't even touch his shadow~
He could already imagine their furious faces when they saw the post.
#LOL
But just as he was enjoying his fantasy, Shirou suddenly sensed someone approaching him!
More importantly, the person beside him was a greasy middle-aged man!
That lustful look in his eyes made Shirou instantly understand what was happening.
His expression darkened, and as if he had predicted it, he caught the man's hand just before it could grab his butt.
"Mister, do you not need this hand anymore?!"
His slightly deep voice startled the fat man, but once he regained his composure, he assumed the girl in front of him had purposely deepened her voice to scare him away.
Even though he had been caught red-handed, he remained calm and said, "Hehe, what are you talking about, young lady? I was just walking normally beside you."
Meanwhile, Chisa and the others had also noticed something was wrong and rushed over.
"What's going on, Kamashiro?"
Chisa's eyes were filled with confusion—being pure-hearted, she didn't understand what had happened.
"Nothing much, just caught a pervert!" Shirou growled through clenched teeth. He knew his cross-dressing was effective, but it was the first time someone had so openly tried to grope him!
If he hadn't reacted in time, then...
Σ_(???)∠) blegh!
Hearing what happened, the others quickly understood and looked at the greasy man with contempt.
Aina went straight to the point: "Let's send him to the police. Scum like this shouldn't be allowed to walk free!"
Everyone nodded in agreement. That creepy face clearly didn't belong to a decent person.
Hearing the word "police," the previously smug pervert finally panicked. He whispered nervously to Shirou, "I suggest you don't... I mean, we're all in the same line of work, right? What's the harm in letting me cop a feel? If you call the cops, don't blame me for what happens next!"
"Oh?"
Shirou's expression turned mocking. This kind of idiot still exists in this day and age?
Even if someone were in "the business," you still can't grope them for free, alright?! And more importantly, I'm not in that business at all!
"And what exactly do you plan to do if I do call the police?"
The greasy man saw Shirou's mocking eyes and, thinking of his horrible boss, nagging wife, and disappointing kids, all the frustrations of daily life burst forth.
"You asked for this!"
He shouted toward the crowd, "What? You're challenging me to a fair and passionate samurai duel?!"
!!
Bang!
"Aaahhh!!!"
Just as he finished yelling, there was a loud thud followed by a scream.
The man had just made passionate contact with the pavement, full-body slam style. Shirou even gave him two extra kicks for good measure.
Then, looking innocent, he shrugged toward the crowd. "He said he wanted to challenge me to a samurai duel. I've never heard such a rude demand before."
The onlookers shivered at Shirou's innocent expression… then gave him a thumbs up one by one.
Just looking at Shirou's delicate face and the scene before them, they pretty much got the idea.
Though these scenes weren't common, they'd seen a few. Usually, the girl would back down because of the obvious size difference.
But...
A "girl" who could single-handedly lift a 250-pound fat guy? That they had never seen before.
Holy crap—was this person a member of the Hanma family or something?
The crowd was utterly convinced by Shirou's strength. Some good Samaritan even called the police.
When Shirou noticed that, he broke into a cold sweat and immediately grabbed Chisa and the others, running toward the subway station.
"Wait, why are we running?" Kohei asked, still bewildered from the shock. "Didn't we win?"
"Fighting in public gets you pork cutlet rice in jail! Do you want tomorrow's headline to be 'Three Crossdressing Weirdos Beat Down Pervert Pig in Kabukicho'!?"
Σ(っ °Д °;)っ
Only then did everyone realize—this was the ultimate social death! Way too embarrassing.
Plus, someone would have to bail them out. And who did they know in Tokyo…?
Nanaka-san!
They absolutely couldn't get caught by the police!
In a flash, all five of them exploded with unprecedented speed.
All things considered, they had definitely left their mark on Kabukicho.
（λ?_??）
On the Subway
Now safe, Shirou finally asked, confused, "So why did that fat pig challenge me to a samurai duel? Is he a masochist?"
Iori and the others facepalmed. So this guy beat someone up and didn't even know why? He just got excited hearing "samurai duel"?
"Maybe because he was afraid you'd call the police. Molesting women is a serious crime, but getting into a fight only lands you a couple of days in detention."
"Ohh, I see!" Shirou suddenly understood. "These perverts actually came up with such a clever trick just to get a free grope? That's terrifying."
"Not exactly for that," Kohei, the internet sleuth, explained. "Reports say a lot of recent groping cases in Japan are actually false accusations—girls doing it to make quick, risk-free money. Real 3D women are scary, man."
"Ohh, that makes sense then."
Shirou nodded. He knew it—those pervs aren't smart enough to come up with something that clever.
"I always thought there were that many molestation cases," Iori said in surprise. Turns out a lot of them were exaggerated.
Poor guys being blackmailed like that…
Shirou looked at Iori, stunned. "Eh? You didn't know?"
(???)
Iori stared blankly at Shirou. He had a feeling something terrible was coming.
Sure enough, Shirou sighed dramatically. "I thought you had already been blackmailed before."
(▼皿▼＃)
"Why wouldn't you be the one getting blackmailed?!"
In response, Shirou pulled out a mirror from behind and smugly admired himself. "If I got blackmailed, it'd only be because they couldn't resist my beauty~"
(?°?д°?)
The other four looked at Shirou with murderous intent. The urge to beat him to death had never been stronger.
"See? I told you it'd be fine."
On the campus of a certain prestigious high school, two vibrant young girls, two "kimono-clad girls," and one zombie-like kimono-wearing creature were casually strolling around, admiring the scenery.
It had to be said—this really was one of the top high schools in Tokyo. The campus scenery was truly impressive—almost on par with a university.
And since it was the weekend, there were no other people around, so they had the entire view to themselves.
Of course, it would've been even better if they hadn't jumped the fence to get in…
Seriously, how the hell did they even climb the wall in kimonos? Why didn't they just ask Nanaka-nee to come out and let them in?
"So… what was the point of us coming in here anyway…"
Chisa had dark lines forming over her head. To her, this scenery didn't hold a candle to the ocean.
Iori and Kohei stared at Kamishiro with dead-fish eyes. To them, this place did nothing except increase the risk of getting caught.
"Of course there's a point!"
Faced with the group's confusion, Kamishiro Shiro's expression gradually turned serious.
"Just wait a sec."
Under the group's puzzled gazes, Kamishiro pulled out his precious camera, and took a photo together with Iori and Kohei—with the school building in the background.
"Tsk tsk, perfect. I can already imagine the expressions of those guys losing their minds."
"Hmph, trying to catch me?"
"Try again in your next life!!"
Looking at Kamishiro's arrogant face, the four around him were absolutely speechless—why does someone this annoying even exist?!
Before, they had assumed the students of this high school were just mentally weak.
Now? It was clear—they'd completely misunderstood them.
Honestly, the real victim here might be the school itself. They had to wonder: did the admissions office regret enrolling this guy?
"If you ever get exposed while you're in Izu, it'll be game over for you,"
Chisa kindly reminded him. Mainly, she was worried that if he got found out, her family's diving shop might get dragged down with him.
Kamishiro waved her off nonchalantly.
"Impossible. Absolutely impossible. Right, Kitahara, Kohei~?"
Right now, they were all grasshoppers tied to the same rope. As long as they didn't spill the beans, who else could possibly know?
Jie jie jie~
Looking at Kamishiro's smug expression, Iori and Kohei were gritting their teeth in hatred.
They really wanted to leak his address right then and there, but the consequences were too heavy—it'd be mutual destruction!
They could only swallow their frustration. But damn—it was still infuriating.
Damn it.
Next time, they'd definitely blackmail him before leaking anything!
However, that feeling didn't last long. While Kamishiro was still daydreaming his villain fantasies, two figures quietly appeared behind him.
When Iori and Kohei saw one of the silhouettes, their expressions turned subtly amused as they looked at Kamishiro.
A phrase echoed in their minds:
"The wicked are always dealt with by someone more wicked."
Pa.
A fair, slender hand landed on Kamishiro's shoulder, and right by his ear, that sharp elite office worker voice rang out again.
"Pigeon, got you."
!!!
Because the voice and the way he was addressed were far too familiar, Kamishiro Shiro didn't even need to look back to know who it was.
But…
It was a voice he absolutely did not want to hear!
(;′??Д??`)
Kamishiro Shiro stood frozen in place, frantically thinking of how to escape.
Known facts: Hanabi-chan usually wears high heels and isn't as fast as him when running.
Therefore—!
He just needed to take off this troublesome kimono!
After all, he had clothes on underneath. Sure, it might expose that he was crossdressing, but he couldn't worry about that right now!
#Undress!
Kamishiro executed his plan flawlessly—stripping off the kimono like a cicada shedding its shell, and escaping right in front of Hanabi-chan!
Bang!
...And was promptly tackled by the two bodyguards, Iori and Kohei.
"Damn it, you two idiots, let me go! (╥_╥)
You have no idea how evil that woman is—she wants to lock me in a dark room!"
"Oh~ Isn't that actually pretty nice? Pigeons belong in little dark rooms."
"And hey, wouldn't a dark room be super safe? You found the perfect hiding spot, Kamishiro~"
With classic exaggerated anime faces, Iori and Kohei pinned Kamishiro down—it was punishment time!
Meanwhile, Nanaka, who had come with Hanabi-chan, tilted her head in confusion, puzzled by the trio's new getups.
"Ah, so you were running from assassins... But where did you get these outfits?"
After hearing the full story, Nanaka nodded in understanding before asking a deadly question.
It was a question that made Iori and Kohei panic.
How were they supposed to answer?
"We bought them from a hostess in Kabukicho?"
That would completely blow their cover!
They looked helplessly toward Chisa and Aina for support, only to be met with cold stares.
"Hmph."
Aina scoffed and turned away. She wasn't even going to expose them—that alone was generous. Help them lie? Dream on!
Left with no hope there, the two turned to Kamishiro…
…only to see an editor disciplining her rogue author.
Welp. No saving grace there either.
In the end, they could only say they bought the outfits from a thrift store.
As for why they looked so second-hand?
"It's been a rough escape…" (;?＿?)
Nanaka still felt something was off but couldn't quite place it.
She simply joined the others in watching the editor scold the runaway author.
"(╥_╥) Hanabi-chan, why are you even here?!"
Kamishiro sobbed. He'd covered all his bases—no security guards, no random staff. He shouldn't have run into anyone from his work life.
Especially not his editor!
The high school had absolutely nothing to do with Hanabi-chan. And he had already graduated. What were the chances?
He began to suspect Hanabi had… cheated, maybe even had precognition!
Hanabi rolled her eyes at him and said,
"Come on, if I could see the future, I'd just win the lottery. No need to slave away at this job."
!!!
She can read minds too?!
Kamishiro stared at her in shock. He was dealing with his natural predator.
Hanabi karate-chopped him.
"I can't read minds. It's just that your dumb thoughts are too easy to guess."
Defeated and grey as a dying pigeon, Kamishiro groaned.
"Then why are you here?"
"I just asked," Hanabi said, pulling out her phone.
"I called your senpai, Asuza, then got Nanaka's number. After that, I just had to wait."
"Nanaka-nee!"
Kamishiro looked at her in disbelief.
The mole… was next to me all along?!
Nanaka waved at him with a smile and put her hands together.
"But Hanabi-chan said she had super important work stuff to talk to you about!"
Hanabi gave him a frosty glare.
"I wasn't lying."
"…Fine."
It was true. But did they ever consider his feelings? (;′??Д??`)
Kamishiro gave up.
Might as well surrender.
At least no one was trying to kill him now.