"So, bro… Do you know these guys?"
One of the guards pointed at the excited Iori and the others, a doubtful expression on his face. As much as he didn't want to believe it, their enthusiasm didn't seem fake.
Just arriving, Kamishiro Shirow looked at the four disheveled guys, and a smirk curled at his lips—Just as I thought, these idiots were still hanging around.
But this kind of excitement… was no good, you know~
"Nope, bro, I don't know them at all. Are they some new cross-dressing perverts?"
｀Д′|
"You bastard!"
"You scum! You're the pervert who lured young boys into cross-dressing in the first place!"
"That's right! If you don't get us inside, we'll expose you!"
"Give up, Kamishiro!"
The four of them, holding onto dirt about Kamishiro, wore twisted smiles on their faces, already imagining him bowing and welcoming them in.
"..."
(-ι_- )
Looking at their sleazy grins, Kamishiro didn't even need to think to know what they were plotting.
But still…
How dare these guys?
"Do you… have proof?"
"Hmph! Of course we do! We even took photos!"
Yamamoto and the other two whipped out their phones, filled with photos of "Miss Shiroko" from every angle.
If these got into the hands of the police, it'd definitely count as criminal evidence.
At this point, Kamishiro even considered calling the cops himself!
"She's a pretty cute girl… But what does she have to do with me?"
?(???)?
Kamishiro shrugged. Aside from the fact that she had the exact same squinty eyes as him, there was absolutely no resemblance.
"Stop lying! That's totally you!"
"You still won't admit it?!"
"Careful—we'll upload these to the forums!"
As they spoke, the three rushed to upload the photos—but when they opened the forum…
It was already flooded with Shiroko photos!
Turns out, they weren't the only perverts snapping shots at the time!
And judging by how viral it had gone, there was no way anyone would believe them if they claimed this girl was actually Kamishiro!
Kamishiro leaned over to glance at their phones, then stepped back with a disgusted look.
"Looks like there are a lot of pervs just like you. I'd better warn Miss Shiroko~
And you guys better hope she doesn't file a report~ (??ω??)"
That bastard!
The three stared at Kamishiro, realizing too late that the whole thing had been part of his plan. Now they had no way out!
"Shiro…"
Yamamoto's eyes softened, trying to awaken the friendship between them.
Ugh!
"Don't call my name like that!"
Kamishiro was having none of it. That one line made his skin crawl.
"Have you forgotten the days we struggled together?!"
"We never struggled together…"
"Have you forgotten the times we drank in your room?!"
"You guys are clearly up to no good…"
"Have you forgotten about our pure friendship?!"
"You mean the time you fought each other over a single ticket?"
"..."
The three of them—Yamamoto's crew—were completely speechless. They finally understood: Kamishiro Shiro never had any intention of letting them in!
Seeing their defeated expressions, Kamishiro knew the time was right.
"Well, it's not like there's no way…"
Whoosh!
Before Kamishiro could even finish his sentence, two Fukuzawa bills suddenly appeared in front of him!
Iori covered his forehead with one hand, eyes filled with determined resolve. "This should be enough, right?!"
"..."
Kamishiro's lips twitched. As expected of his No.1 ATM, the man hadn't even finished speaking and he already understood the cue.
But…
Kamishiro pushed the money back, suppressing his inner greed. "Kitahara, you might have misunderstood. You have to understand, this is Oumi, not my turf. I have no authority here."
(?ò?ó)
"Then why are you even talking crap here?!"
Iori was on the verge of a mental breakdown. Was his Oumi dream—possibly his whole romantic future—about to end here?
"Tsk, tsk. You never let me finish."
Kamishiro patted his shoulder. "What I meant was… it requires a little extra funding~"
(??ω??)
(-ι_- )
Seeing those money-shaped eyes, Iori silently pulled out another Fukuzawa from his pocket.
Whoosh!
Before he could even speak, all three Fukuzawas vanished at a speed invisible to the naked eye.
"Praise be to you, my beloved ATM-kun!"
Without looking back, Kamishiro went straight to Yamamoto and the others.
His eyes still twinkling with money signs, he waved the three bills like a prize.
"..."
Yamamoto's trio looked at each other. How could they not understand what this scumbag Kamishiro was doing?
30,000 yen!
That's enough for a premium maid café experience!
But they had no other choice—either give up on a potential shot at a girlfriend, or go home.
Whoosh!
After hesitating for a long while, they finally gave in. Nine Fukuzawas were exposed to the air.
!!!
?(￥A￥)?
Kamishiro's eyes were instantly locked onto those nine large bills.
He snatched them immediately. Mitsuhara tried to resist, but he was merely a stand-in. How could he match up to Kamishiro in full power mode?
In one swift move, Kamishiro seized them all!
"May Lady Mori bless you, my beloved ATMs!"
He gleefully pocketed all 12 Fukuzawas and gave them the most effective witch's blessing.
Lady Mori: Don't drag me into this!
Meanwhile, the two security guards nearby were dumbfounded.
They never imagined that modern-day college students were this… socially advanced in their transactions.
Should they… call the police?
But… what would the charge be?
Fraud?
The security guards were deep in thought…
As they debated, a bottle of sake had quietly made its way into their hands.
They looked down—hmm, around 80,000 yen.
They gave a barely noticeable nod to Kamishiro and exaggeratedly made their way toward the security office.
"Ah, my back suddenly hurts. Standing too long really takes a toll!"
"Yeah, my eyes don't feel right either. I should go do some eye exercises."
They completely ignored the four-man comedy team they had kicked out earlier.
Seeing how well the guards played along, Kamishiro gave them a thumbs-up and motioned for the others to follow him.
"..."
In less than a minute, Iori and the others had witnessed and participated in two filthy transactions. Their worldviews had crumbled.
This guy was truly a scumbag of the highest order!
He'd completely mastered the intricacies of human behavior!
Though they were furious, now wasn't the time to dwell on that.
The four of them charged into the campus—their paradise was calling!
"Tsk tsk tsk… these guys really are delusional."
Watching their hopeful backs, Kamishiro couldn't help but shake his head.
Let it be known—if any of them managed to get a girlfriend today, he'd bathe in the Water of Life!
Not bothering with them anymore, Kamishiro decided to wander around the area. Who knows, maybe he'd run into a hot girl?
But just as he was about to leave, a familiar voice called out from behind.
"Shiro?"
...
"So… Azusa-senpai… why the hell am I doing this again…"
Under the scorching sun, Shiro was shirtless, struggling to carry a prop needed for the voice actor's stage performance.
Just moments ago, while trying to find a place to chill, Kamishiro was caught red-handed by Azusa-senpai returning from off-campus!
Without giving him a chance to protest, she dragged him over, stripped off his shirt, and handed him props to haul.
"Because you get extra credits for this! Just think—such a small task and you get credit. Isn't it a bargain?!"
"You sure those credits count at our university?"
(???)
If that were true, Kamishiro wouldn't be dragging his feet—he'd be sprinting.
But the problem was…
Those were probably Oumi credits!
"Eh, not important. Just treat it as doing a favor for Maya."
Azusa waved it off. Free labor like this couldn't be wasted. If they didn't hurry up, the performance time might get cut short.
"Maya? Kanako's sister? What's she got to do with this?"
"…You really have a habit of calling people by name so casually."
Azusa twitched. They'd barely met and he was already calling her by her first name? As expected of you, scumbag Shiro!
"You didn't know? Maya is the voice actress performing today— Kaya Mizuki."
!!!
Upon hearing that, Kamishiro's face froze in shock. That zombie cosplayer was Kaya Mizuki?!
Damn it!
Why didn't he take a photo at the time?! If he sold that to a tabloid, how much could he have made?!
"Damn it! Why didn't you tell me sooner?!"
Kamishiro shook Azusa by the shoulders in distress. That was such a huge missed opportunity, and one of the biggest sponsors—Kohei—was involved too!
? o?o?
"You never asked. Also… why do I feel like you're up to something shady again…"
"Absolutely not! I'm just grieving for my lost profits!"
"…And why are you associating Maya with money now?"
Azusa gave him a light smack on the head and pointed toward Kohei, who was working hard in the distance.
"Go learn from him. Look at that motivation! That's how young people should be—full of energy!"
(???)
"Rejected!"
Kamishiro rejected her toxic positivity on the spot. Kohei was clearly blinded by his obsession with voice actresses.
But seriously…
That guy usually looked like a skinny dog. Since when did he become a macho man?
The nearby girls were now eyeing Kohei with increasing heat.
Blond, handsome, and fit.
He was the perfect boyfriend package!
Their eyes were literally turning into heart shapes.
(▼皿▼＃)
Kamishiro, who had initially refused to help, immediately changed his mind at the sight.
There was no way he'd let that bastard steal his thunder!
He picked up a nearby stage prop and rushed forward, not forgetting to shout back to Azusa:
"We don't have enough people! Azusa-senpai, go to the café and round up Kitahara and the rest of my buddies. Just tell them the code phrase: There's a strip-dancing chick here!"
"..."
Azusa's smile froze. Wasn't Kamishiro the only one who'd stripped on-site?
How could he even say something like that?
Still, there weren't enough people, so she decided to head to the café and randomly grab a few lucky extras.
Back on Kamishiro's side, he gritted his teeth and, with a twisted expression, caught up to Kohei.
"You bastard, there's no way I'm losing to you!"
(′｀;)?
Kohei looked around in confusion.
When did Kamishiro get here?
And what the heck did he mean by not losing to me?
Wait, what?!
That bastard Kamishiro is into the same things as me?!
He must be here to steal my credit!
Realizing the whole truth in an instant, Kouhei's entire aura and gaze changed. He began to speed up, unleashing a burst-shirt move in the process!
"Woooaaaah!!"
The girls nearby completely forgot what they were doing and locked their eyes on the two boys.
Who would've thought—participating in this event not only gets you free course credits, but also a handsome guy bursting out of his shirt to boot!
Slurp~
Now the only question was… could they touch?
Hehehehehe~
...
"Hah... I can't... I really can't go on anymore."
After ten minutes of hard labor, Kamishiro Shiro was already completely exhausted. Truly, only those with genuine passion have boundless energy.
As a fake enthusiast, Kamishiro had to admit—he was done. The intense workload had drained him dry, and now he just wanted to enjoy the bliss of a girl's lap pillow~
That's right!
At this very moment, Kamishiro was enjoying a lap pillow!
Just earlier, as he was on the verge of collapsing and looking for a place to sit, two very beautiful girls suddenly struck up a conversation with him.
With just one glance, Kamishiro could tell—they were the same kind of "sweet little sisters" as Busujima.
With his good looks and host-tier charm, Kamishiro easily scored a lap pillow—and got a bonus fanning service to boot!
"Ah~ now this is the life."
Kamishiro sighed contentedly. Truly, lying on a beautiful girl's lap and watching everyone else suffer under the summer sun... was the best feeling ever.
"Hey hey, Shiro-kun, don't just lie there enjoying yourself—do you really have a dog that can do backflips?"
The one giving him the lap pillow was a cute red-haired girl, and Kamishiro had only one thing to say about her:
Big.
She could absolutely give Azu-nee a run for her money.
Right now, she was gazing at Kamishiro with pure curiosity. She had never seen a dog that could do backflips!
"Yeah yeah, Shiro-kun, we haven't seen it yet. Is it a Shiba Inu?"
The blonde girl next to her was equally excited—but her excitement was aimed squarely at Kamishiro's face.
She had been staring at his face non-stop, and now there was even a trail of glistening drool near her lips—though she didn't seem to notice.
"Haha, I'll show you next time. Let's go somewhere more... private to watch it together, yeah? (??ω??)"
(〃?ω?)
"Kyaa~ Shiro-kun, you're so naughty~"
"So bad~ with three people, even~!"
Even though the girls spoke shyly, their eyes were beginning to burn with excitement.
Three people? So spicy!
"Hahahaha, no biggie! We can go on a training trip too—sunshine, beaches!"
"Oh? Then will I be invited?"
"My spot better be reserved too."
"Of course! I'll even help you pick out swim–"
Kamishiro's sentence suddenly cut off. If he wasn't mistaken, those last two voices... sounded a little different from the earlier ones...
He had a bad feeling.
He slowly lifted his head—and a giant shadow blocked his view.
But he could just barely make out a bit of purple and pink.
"..."
He knew those voices sounded familiar. Turns out it was Kiyoko and Busujima!
Now that Kamishiro realized what was happening, he quietly turned his head back toward the well-endowed girl's stomach.
(o///▽///o)q
"Yaa~ Shiro-kun, that tickles~"
WHAM WHAM!
"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
(╥_╥)
Lying on the ground like a pummeled pig, Kamishiro Shiro wept silently.
He never expected that just when he was enjoying himself, he'd get busted by Kiyoko and Busujima on the spot!
Had they no idea what kind of psychological damage this could cause a young boy?!
No—not just psychological, this was physical trauma too!
His entire body was now bruised and battered, not a single part left intact.
(?????)
He knew those two were faking when they said they couldn't even open a bottle cap!
It was all an act!
After finishing the beatdown, Kiyoko let out a cold snort and went back to help with the stage setup.
As for Busujima...
She was now being interrogated by her two besties!
That's right!
Those two gorgeous girls Kamishiro had just been flirting with? They were Busujima's best friends!
And they were super open-minded.
Kamishiro had genuinely felt like a three-way was possible!
Too bad it got cut short...
Right now, Busujima was under a barrage of spicy questions from her besties, and the first love she had hidden for so long was finally exposed!
They were hitting her with some very bold questions—
"Hey hey, Sakurako, how long have you and Shiro-kun been a thing?"
"Hey hey, Sakurako, is Shiro-kun... big?"
"Hey hey, Sakurako, wanna go on a training trip with all of us?"
"AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Busujima felt like she was losing her mind.
She knew she shouldn't have let those three meet!
They'd only known each other for a few hours, and already they were talking about a threesome?!
Kamishiro Shiro—this guy was pure disaster!!
...
While Busujima was getting interrogated, the disaster himself was totally unaware.
Right now, he was trying to find a quiet corner to lick his wounds alone.
People these days...
They'd watch a handsome boy fall right in front of them and not even lend a hand. It's not like he'd scam them!
YANK!
Just as Kamishiro was wallowing in self-pity, someone suddenly yanked him up by the arm.
He thought it was Kiyoko and the others coming back to comfort him.
"Even if you're here to make me feel bett—wait, WHAT?!"
{{(°△°; "}}!
Seeing the angry faces of the comedy quintet, Kamishiro jumped in shock, completely forgetting that he had been the one to tell Azu-nee to call them.
SLAP!
Iori clapped his hand on Kamishiro's shoulder with a terrifying grin.
"My dear brother, where's the striptease?"
"All we saw was a pervert getting a lap pillow."
"Disgusting normie behavior, huh~"
"So what do we do with disgusting normies like this?"
"Send him off to have babies!"
Even the usually mild-mannered Fujiwara had a devilish grin now, though his legs were still trembling.
"Uh… I'm injured, I've got video evidence. How about 5 million to settle it?"
Kamishiro tried to activate his Scammer Passive Skill.
"Go to hell!!"
"Scumbag!!"
"Trash!!"
No dramatic reversal this time—Kamishiro got righteously pounded by countless fists of justice.
By the time Azu arrived, only a half-dead pig-head remained…
(?????)
"I was wrong!!"