(╥_╥)
"Ladies, if I said I just had to pee and that's why I ran off—would you believe me?"
Feeling both of his arms being tugged forcefully, Kamishiro Shiro wept tears of regret.
If he'd known this would happen, he never would've changed out of his girl clothes. He wasted precious escape time!
Damn it!
Who the hell spilled the beans?!
Given their personalities, they should've been arguing way longer before coming after him…
"You really think we'd believe that?"
"You tried that same trick back in high school!"
Busujima and Kiyoko each clung to one of his arms, pulling with such strength that he could barely feel them anymore.
Their hatred for him was practically tangible.
Just like back in high school—every time they fought, this bastard would mysteriously vanish.
If it weren't for Aina and the others stepping in to stop the fight earlier, history would've repeated itself once again!
"I really did go to the bathroom in high school!"
Kamashiro Shiro declared this with full confidence. He had simply… used that bathroom break as a chance to sneak away, that's all.
You have to understand, the boys' bathroom is a fully equipped refuge—you could even play a full game of 5v5 in there!
(▼皿▼＃)
"Ten times?! And every time you just happened to go to the bathroom?"
"And every time someone found you, you were flirting with a younger girl?"
(;?＿?)
"Was I? Maybe I just ran into them on the way to the restroom."
Shiro's eyes darted around nervously. Had it really happened that many times?
Why couldn't he remember anything like that? Maybe he'd slipped away too naturally.
And those underclassmen?
Uhhh… which one are they talking about?
(???)
The moment Shiro said that, the two girls next to him pinched his cheeks—hard. If he was going to lie, could he at least use his brain?
Neither of them remembered their high school having co-ed restrooms, so exactly which bathroom had he been using all that time?
Ssss!
Shiro sucked in a sharp breath. Why do men even have a soft-flesh weak spot anyway?!
And weren't these two just arguing a moment ago? Why were they suddenly on the same side?!
(╥_╥)
His bright and beautiful journey to Oumi… why did it feel like it had already ended before it even began?
…
After dealing with Shiro's nonsense, Busujima and Kiyoko locked eyes again. Their greetings from the café earlier still hadn't been settled!
Busujima snorted as she looked at Kiyoko's chubby cheeks. Her personality was like a sleazy old man's, yet her face was so cute—it was just unfair.
God must've made a mistake. That heavy makeup earlier? That should be her real face!
"You manly woman, why are you following me? Shouldn't you be in the shop playing maid?"
"You stole our store's poster girl! How am I supposed to stay there?!"
"Poster girl?"
(′｀;)?
Busujima looked at Shiro, confused. Clearly, she hadn't yet realized that the green-haired "girl" was Shiro crossdressing.
Seeing her stunned expression, Kiyoko felt smug—this woman had no idea how serious things were yet!
She tilted her head proudly, ready to brag about how much Shiro had sacrificed for her.
He crossdressed, okay?! If it wasn't true love, what guy would do that?!
"It was that one girl who—mmph mmph mmph!"
Before she could get out more than five words, Shiro covered her mouth.
Sweat beaded on his forehead. Why was this girl just like Azu-nee—blabbering everything?!
Aina and the others knowing was one thing; they understood the context.
But Busujima?! No way she'd hear the whole story! She'd absolutely misunderstand and think he had some weird kink!
He had a persona to protect—he was supposed to be a domineering alpha!
What kind of alpha wears a dress?!
"Ahahaha, nothing like that! There was this golden-haired pervert who was crossdressing earlier, but don't worry—we chased her off!"
"..."
Busujima gave Shiro a look like he was a complete idiot.
Who would believe such a lame excuse? It's the school festival, okay? What guy could even enter dressed like a girl?
Still… she decided it wasn't the important issue right now.
She had a bigger problem to deal with!
Her cherry blossom-pink eyes glared at Kiyoko, whose mouth was still covered by Shiro.
Aha!!
Don't think she didn't notice! That manly girl just stuck out her tongue, didn't she?!
Unforgivable! Not only were they hiding secrets from her, now they were flirting right in front of her?!
Absolutely unacceptable!
"You man-woman!"
"Mmrmph mmph!"
"..."
Shiro silently released his hand from Kiyoko's mouth. He hadn't expected her to be so bold.
Feeling the moisture on his palm, he was weirdly excited... What was wrong with him? (??ω??)
But he had to stop them. He really didn't want to attract the school security with this commotion and end up like that idiot Kitahara.
Just imagining it… Kitahara and the others must be in despair right now~
…
Shiro wasn't wrong.
At the front gate of Oumi, Iori and the other four were kneeling in unison, begging while licking the security guard's shoes.
At first, they hadn't been too upset. If it was all just make-up zombies inside, they figured it'd be more fun to go back and drink instead.
Until they saw the footage from the café's second phase…
In that moment—
They made a unanimous decision:
Trade their pride—and shoe-licking dignity—for a second chance to get into Oumi!
Deep down, Iori was filled with regret.
He had actually sold the ticket Shiro had given him!
If he hadn't, he could be walking in with his head held high, sipping coffee with a bunch of pretty girls in the café right now!
Security booth.
The two slightly-drunk guards were a little awkward watching this scene. Shoe-licking? That's a bit much, isn't it?
Why didn't these kids just try something simpler—like offering a few thousand yen bottles of sake?
Fine, maybe they should at least gently give them a hint.
"Uh, actually…"
"We promise we won't cause any trouble!"
"I'll give you shoulder massages!"
"I'll buy you dinner!"
"If all goes well, I'll introduce you to some girls!"
"..."
The older guard twitched at the corner of his mouth. Could they let him finish his sentence?!
"Like I was saying, that's not even the issue—"
"Then let's do this!"
"We'll strip completely!!"
"And dance right here!"
"Like butterflies fluttering in the wind!"
Even the battle-hardened security guards were shaken by this perverted plan.
Were these guys seriously going to do it?
"So—"
"Let's go, bros! Showtime!"
(▼皿▼＃)
"Will you guys just let me finish a sentence?! You four maniacs!!!"
BAM!
The guard couldn't take it anymore and slammed the gate shut, locking them outside.
He'd been about to give them a second chance…
But these guys just wouldn't let him! They didn't even give him a chance to give them a chance!
Watching these four idiots, the two guards couldn't help but recall that young man from just over an hour ago.
Same age, yet so different.
Sigh…
Another day without sake. I miss him…
…
Outside the school gate.
Iori and the others, half-naked from the waist up, silently stared toward the Oumi campus.
Inside, they could faintly hear the joyful laughter of many young women.
They could have been a part of that. Now, all they could do was slump in defeat at the gates…
"Kicked out heartlessly…"
"That guy was seriously pissed…"
"Our passion didn't reach them…"
"What a shame…"
The four turned and walked away. Their backs were so tragic it made you want to cry.
"But… didn't we do our best?"
"We begged them with everything we had."
"Even after all that, they still wouldn't let us in. Guess we just have to give up."
"That's right. Let's give up on trying to get them to let us in—"
They suddenly stopped walking.
Give up?
Yeah… they'd given up.
But what they gave up on… was expecting the guards to let them in.
They never gave up on getting into the school!
If the guards wouldn't help, then they'd just have to help themselves!
The four of them quickly put their shirts back on.
At this very moment!
It was as if roaring flames were burning behind them!
Nothing could stand in the way of their determination to chase girls!
"Time for a full-force breakthrough!"
"Ohh!"
(with Kamishiro)
"So… where exactly are we now?"
Looking ahead at the snake-like queue stretching before them, Kamishiro Shiro's eye twitched uncontrollably.
His rationality and instincts were screaming not to waste even a second in this line.
But…
The two "great aunties" flanking him refused to let him escape!
Trapped in the middle of the line, Busujima and Kiyoko completely blocked all his routes of retreat.
Worse still…
Because he had an arm around each of them, the male comrades in line were shooting him extremely unfriendly looks.
He even spotted some taking pictures.
No doubt about it—by tonight, he'd be all over the Izu University forums.
But hold on a second…
Why were there so many couples in this line?
Nearly the entire line was made up of boy-girl pairs.
Their trio was a complete anomaly here!
"Shhh, this is Lady Mori's love fortune-telling booth. No noise allowed," Kiyoko whispered, placing a finger on Kamishiro's lips, terrified he'd pull some outrageous stunt.
Only then did Kamishiro realize—this queue was different from the others.
It was abnormally quiet.
Everyone was whispering. Even those guys glaring at Kamishiro with pure contempt and jealousy didn't dare make a sound—just pierced him with dagger-like eyes.
Especially when their female companions started staring at Kamishiro with sparkling eyes—that glare intensified even more!
"Tch!"
"Damn normie!"
"Go disappear already, scumbag!"
Kamishiro simply shook his head. These low-level eye-attacks didn't faze him.
Come on!
He'd been doing 1-vs-N love battles since high school!
He was more curious about who exactly this Lady Mori was. How could she command such natural respect from everyone?
Something about that name sounded oddly familiar… like it was from some anime in his previous life.
Wait… is this not the world of "Scumbag's Wish"? Could this be a crossover anime universe?!
Kamishiro felt a tickle in his brain—as if something was awakening inside it.
Thank goodness he was a laid-back kind of guy. If someone else had gone through a triple-zero-isekai like this, they'd probably be panicking!
Sometimes, Kamishiro even forgot he was a transmigrator.
But to be fair, this was Japan in a 2D world, after all—no school festival was complete without a love fortune-telling booth.
"So… what's the deal with this Lady Mori?" he asked.
He noticed Kiyoko seemed to really respect her. Even Busujima—who usually bickered with Kiyoko non-stop—was unusually quiet.
Seriously, how come this gruff tomboy is so into romantic gossip? Doesn't she have horses to bet on or something?
"Lady Mori is a legend at our school!" Kiyoko whispered.
She explained: Lady Mori appeared at Oumi Girls' High a year ago. Back then, she would occasionally set up a little tent after class and offer love readings.
At first, no one believed in her.
But then a few upperclassmen who received readings from her started finding their true love!
Soon, word of her powers spread—and more and more students came to her for readings. As long as they followed her advice, most found someone they liked!
That's how the legend of "Lady Mori, who can help you find true love" was born.
After that, she never appeared again.
People assumed she had retired… until a few days ago, when the Oumi school forum exploded with rumors: Lady Mori would be setting up a booth at the school festival.
Instantly!
Girls from all over Oumi were ecstatic—especially the freshmen who had only heard the legend. They were dying to meet Lady Mori in person!
"…."
Kamishiro's mouth twitched as he listened to the tale.
If someone like that showed up in Izu Tech's engineering department, those beasts would go completely insane.
But still… wasn't this story a little too fantasy-like?
"She appeared a year ago, so she's probably one of your upperclassmen, right? How come no one who got a reading ever saw her face?" Kamishiro asked.
Busujima shook her head. "Nope. According to the senpai, Lady Mori always wore a thick white cloak and a mask during her readings—her face was totally hidden."
(???)
What kind of lax security does Oumi have?!
They just let suspicious cloaked figures walk right in?
Kamishiro suddenly felt very confident about his own plan to infiltrate Oumi in drag.
"No one ever tried to yank off her cloak?"
{{(°△°; "}}!
Busujima and Kiyoko looked at Kamishiro in horror—how could he say something so blasphemous?
Since when did fortune-telling come with assault risk?!
"..."
Kamishiro understood their looks instantly.
Putting himself in their shoes—if he could get Yamamoto and those beasts to find girlfriends, forget yanking off a cloak, they'd probably work for him for free…
Wow… matchmaking is really profitable here, huh?
Kamishiro started seriously considering it as a side gig.
But… would he really introduce girls to Yamamoto and the others?
That's… something worth thinking about.
"What about the student council? If she's using a classroom, doesn't she need their permission?" he asked.
Both girls shook their heads. "No clue. The council never announced who reserved the room. Some people are saying Lady Mori has superpowers!"
Whew…
Kamishiro took a deep breath. First of all, he really didn't want to believe this world had actual superpowers.
He wasn't ready to leave his peaceful daily slice-of-life just yet.
Second of all…
Has no one thought to link Lady Mori with the student council?!
She can wear a cloak, walk in and out of school freely, and reserve rooms at will.
Even if she's not part of the student council, she must be deeply connected to them.
Understanding everything now, Kamishiro glanced with pity at the two girls beside him, so excited to meet Lady Mori.
Their IQs are worrying…
But seriously—why is it only when they're dealing with him that they suddenly get so smart?!
sigh…
Kamishiro sighed, now totally lifeless as he stood in line. He wasn't here for love fortunes—he just wanted to meet some Oumi students!
Love fortune-telling?
He didn't need that crap. He was all about self-earned success.
Suddenly—
Kamishiro realized something felt off.
"Wait… isn't this a love fortune-telling booth?
Why does it look like everyone in line is already a couple?"
Based on the legend, this line should be full of single girls.
Why bother if you're already dating someone?!
"Oh, that—Lady Mori can also tell you whether the person you're with is a good match.
So some people bring their partners to check compatibility."
"And because the line started with all couples, new people assumed you had to be in a pair to participate.
By the time they realized the misunderstanding, the line was so long they didn't want to drop out."
Busujima looked a bit embarrassed as she explained this—obviously, she was one of the people who misunderstood the rules.
(;?＿?)
"Oh… I see."
Kamishiro looked around again. Yep—they were the only trio in the entire line, awkwardly widening the queue with their numbers…
"Everyone's in pairs. We're kind of the odd ones out. Maybe we should just leave?"
"No way!" ×2
Both girls shut him down instantly. They were finally near the front—how could they give up now?
But Kamishiro had a point. Everyone was in pairs—they couldn't stand out like this.
Only one thing to do: someone had to be eliminated!
"Heh, tomboy. Why don't you go back to your café? A proper owner shouldn't be running around so much."
"Green tea b*tch, you should go back. Isn't that outfit of yours from the Oumi volunteer staff? Shouldn't you be helping out right now?"
"No need to worry about that, tomboy. I've got it handled."
"Same here!"
"Hmph!" ×2
Kamishiro watched the two of them, speechless. What a pair of rivals…
"…Should I just go?"
He had just seen two girls walk into the booth together ahead of them…