"Something feels off. Is this really how fast a ninja mission squad is supposed to move?"
Shortly after leaving the camp, Jiraiya couldn't help but notice something off. From his experience, ninjas on missions usually sprinted forward without hesitation, yet Haseo was leading them at a leisurely pace—barely faster than a wheelchair.
This made them look less like serious ninja, and more like elementary students going on a field trip.
In reality? They weren't just *like* a group of school kids on a trip—they essentially were one.
"Do you even know what a clearing mission is?" Haseo explained with an obvious lack of sincerity in his voice. "A clearing mission means wandering around enemy territory, eliminating any enemies you find. If you don't encounter any enemies, then you just keep idling around like this."
Although the Third Hokage had agreed to send his young disciples onto the battlefield, Haseo knew better than to lead the three straight into the most intense battle zones within the Land of Rain.
"But here's the thing… We're still in the Land of Rivers! We haven't even entered enemy territory yet," Jiraiya started nodding along, only to realize shortly afterward that things still didn't add up.
"And why do you think this isn't enemy territory?" Haseo retorted. "Can you guarantee Sunagakure ninjas won't infiltrate here from elsewhere? Remember, not long ago this place was a battleground between Sunagakure and Konoha."
"Ninjas must always remain vigilant, Jiraiya. Every single step you take could be on enemy ground," Haseo continued seriously, though it did little to hide how obviously he was messing with them.
"We should also use this time to adapt to the rhythm of the battlefield. And since we're a newly formed squad, during this travel phase we need to confirm our team codes too. Did everyone memorize the codes?"
At this point, Orochimaru couldn't help but roll his eyes—he could clearly tell Haseo was simply baby-talking them.
"I'll ask questions, and you answer… For example, what code do we use when facing the most urgent danger to call for help from teammates?"
"I know! Let me answer!" Jiraiya raised his hand enthusiastically.
"Shut up," Haseo showed no mercy to the eager kid. Instead, he pointed directly at Orochimaru and said, "Orochimaru, you answer."
He could see how smug Orochimaru looked, as if he'd seen through everything—an aloof attitude suggesting he alone was awake while the rest were lost souls. This kind of superiority complex definitely needed to be checked.
Orochimaru remained silent for a moment before finally speaking, "Must I really answer?"
"Yes. Any issues? Didn't you remember?"
"No… I remember perfectly well," Orochimaru replied, albeit reluctantly. But since he was stuck under Captain Haseo's command, he had no choice but to open his mouth and sing—reluctantly—"Pipapala pipapala, Bababla ba!"
The tune was quite pleasant—and perfectly in tune as well.
"Correct!" Haseo couldn't help but praise him.
But right now, being praised by Haseo, Orochimaru wanted nothing more than to die. He silently vowed that if this ridiculous signal ever came up again, he'd do everything in his power not to be the one singing it.
After this encounter, Orochimaru had become completely obedient. He didn't even dare roll his eyes at Haseo anymore... This person seemed somewhat petty and held a grudge easily.
"Taking this opportunity," Haseo continued chatting with them, "let me explain something to all of you... Although you've already learned a lot from the Third Hokage, I believe he definitely never told you about the sole criterion for judging a successful ninja."
"What is it then... Is it strength?" Jiraiya asked, proving himself an excellent straight man—sincere and without ulterior motives... He was genuinely curious—was there really just one standard for judging ninjas?
Haseo shook his head. "No, or rather, not entirely accurate. A truly successful ninja has to be good in both character and skill. Only a ninja who possesses both moral integrity and technical proficiency—and can earn others' respect through virtue—deserves the title of a good ninja."
"..."
Everyone exchanged glances.
That sounded like complete nonsense, and not just sounding like it.
"Haseo, that's actually two standards," Tsunade remarked. Regardless of whether Haseo's statement was correct, his phrasing clearly lacked precision.
"No, it's one standard. Possessing both virtue and ability allows one to lead by virtue. Without leading by virtue, how can one demonstrate possessing both virtue and ability? They're two sides of the same coin."
Haseo's little personal lecture was very targeted in nature. The Sannin were unquestionably top-tier professional ninjas; each of them was extremely powerful. However, their personalities were quite problematic: Tsunade was stubborn as a clod of earth, Jiraiya was socially awkwardly eccentric, and as for Orochimaru, no need to say more—he was textbook scum, the kind of case no remedy from Yang's Ancient Formulas could cure.
Yet experience proved that someone might grow up to be scum later in life, but that wouldn't stop them from being adorable as a child.
While talking casually, Haseo continuously observed their reactions. Jiraiya and Tsunade kept responding, while Orochimaru had gone completely silent. In fact, he had even taken out a notebook and pen, occasionally glancing at Jiraiya as they walked, before writing down something in his notebook.
"Kids can be really unpredictable—they crave attention and want adults and the opposite sex their age to notice them. That's why they sometimes babble stuff they don't even get or do things way beyond them—it shows their emotions run way faster than their brains.
To get noticed by the opposite sex, they sometimes act all dramatic, kind of like what I saw with deer during mating season. In fact, their behavior might seem even less regular than that of deer, showing just how complex humans are.
Of course, this might relate to my observation sample being particularly unique. Different subjects will naturally yield different results. My sample isn't exactly typical, though… But still, I'm sure human intelligence should be above that of deer."
Thanks to his height advantage, Haseo could peek into what Orochimaru was writing. These research notes... Well, whatever the case, Haseo began feeling pity for Jiraiya. Who'd ever expect in Orochimaru's eyes, Jiraiya had already fallen below deer?
Studying humans and snakes was now Orochimaru's hobby... More precisely speaking, it was after his parents passed away that he developed this interest—specifically when the Third Hokage explained to him the symbolic meaning behind snakes.
The research results were impressive, sure — but the poor test subjects didn't exactly have it easy.
Before they knew it, most of the day had slipped away. Under normal circumstances, Haseo and the others should have already arrived in the Land of Rain. Yet because of this sluggish pace, the team hadn't even left the Land of Rivers yet.
Haseo's thoughts were clear—he wasn't on one of his usual serious combat missions, so aside from maintaining necessary vigilance, he actually felt somewhat relaxed.
At this moment, he decided to stop for a rest so everyone could replenish their food and water supplies.
"We're... definitely moving too slowly, aren't we?"
Jiraiya said, trying to show off how smart he was.
"Yeah, final break. We're already near the border of the Land of Rain now. After resting, our speed will definitely pick up, and once we enter the Land of Rain, everyone will no longer be able to afford such relaxation." Haseo said. He could afford to take it slow for a bit, but he couldn't push the kids' patience too far.
He understood what "counterproductive" meant.
Sure enough, after hearing this explanation, Jiraiya instantly stopped complaining and no longer fretted over their earlier snail-like pace.
"Kids are easy to fool. He doesn't even get the meaning behind 'morning gifts and evening tricks'," Orochimaru muttered, jotting down another note.
The four stopped within the woods, each finding suitable spots to lean or sit, then took out food from their backpacks to replenish their energy... They all carried cold rice balls, so there was no need yet to break out the top-tier Military Rations Pill.
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