The elevator doors had barely begun to slide shut when a glowing red system window filled Neville's vision.
[Host! ΣΣ(ﾟДﾟ; )] Shelly popped out again, alarmed. [Your hydration levels!]
The moment she popped out, Neville instantly staggered and held on to the elevator handle.
He had barely managed to survive the day at Maxwell Corporation with an IV drip and some foul-tasting nutrient solution, but it seemed that it wasn't enough.
His legs gave out the second the door clicked shut behind him.
With a pained grunt, Neville hit the floor, his neatly pressed uniform scraping against the carpet. He didn't have the strength to stand, so he crawled, dragging himself in a desperate beeline for the bathroom.
There was no time to bother with buttons or zippers; he practically fell into the tub, plunging his aching body into the lukewarm, day-old brine solution he hadn't drained from yesterday.
A high-pitched voice chirped up beside his ear.
[Eek, Host. Seriously? (¬_¬ )] Shelly materialized as a glowing pink seashell, hovering just over the water's surface as she feigned covering a non-existent nose. [I can see the dead skin cells in there!]
I don't think I'm that dirty. I literally take a bath every day.
Neville ignored her, his entire being focused on the relief spreading through him.
The warm, salty water was a miracle, seeping into his skin and extinguishing the burning ache in his muscles. The agonizing dryness began to recede, replaced by a deep satisfaction.
[Host, that's literally bathing in your own dead skin,] Shelly continued, her voice dripping with disgust. [That's like... like reusing underwear! ( >︹<)]
A soft, shuddering moan escaped Neville's lips as he finally found the strength to move.
He opened the soaked buttons and belt of his clothes, taking off the clinging fabric, setting them aside.
Beneath the water, a faint shimmer began to coat his legs as they started to fuse. A tingling sensation was felt as he transformed.
Sinking back with a sigh, he let his head rest against the cool ceramic.
Then, he cracked open one ocean-blue eye, pinning the hovering pink shell with a glare.
The coldness in his glare suddenly melted away, replaced by a spark of mischief.
He let his head tilt to the side, and the lazy sarcasm in his voice was no longer restrained.
"I guess we should replace the entire ocean every day, too. Since you know, everything with gills lives in it. All those fish, doing their... fish things. In the water. That never gets changed."
Animated smoke puffed furiously around Shelly's pink shell. [Host, the ocean is a vast, flowing body of water with natural filtration cycles! It has ecosystems! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻]
"So does this bathtub," Neville countered, wiggling his tail as the ache eased from his bones. "I'm pretty sure I'm cultivating several fascinating new ecosystems here as we speak."
[That's not—(｡•́︿•̀｡)] Shelly stuttered, clearly struggling. [Ocean water is constantly replaced by currents and—]
"And fish pee?" Neville interrupted, a smirk playing on his lips.
[—and filtered by natural biological processes! (>///<)] Shelly's shell turned a deep, embarrassed pink blush. [Even lakes are cleaner than this—they have algae! It's just that merfolk aren't... freshwater species!]
"So you admit," Neville said, the smirk widening as he crossed his arms over his bare chest. "Mermaids are just a type of fish. A big, talking man-fish?"
[That is not true—you are deliberately provoking me! (>_<)] Shelly's shell spun in indignation. [This is a serious hygiene issue!]
The playfulness vanished from Neville's face in an instant. His voice dropped, losing all its sarcastic warmth.
"Then what do you want me to do, Shelly?" he asked, his tone flat and sharp. "You want me—a dying man-fish—to call the owner? Say, 'Hello, sorry to bother you, can I order fresh ocean water to be delivered to my room?' Is that what you want me to ask?"
He leaned forward slightly, the water sloshing around him. "Did you think I even have time to check cupboards for salt? To drain this tub and wait for it to refill while I was literally crawling on the floor?"
The fight went out of Shelly all at once. Her animated puffs of smoke vanished, and her googly eyes drooped. [I—I'm just concerned about your well-being, Host.]
The genuine, quiet concern in her voice sent a pang of guilt through Neville's chest.
It was tiny. Microscopic, really. But it was there.
With a flick of his tail, he sent a playful splash of water in her direction. Shelly zipped back with a startled chirp.
"What can I say?" Neville replied with a shameless grin, chasing away the tense atmosphere. "Just call me Mr. Petty."
[More like Mr. Grumbles-and-Complaints,|x･`)] Shelly muttered, her face scrunching into a scowl as she wiped away a fake droplet of water.
"What was that?" Neville asked, cupping a hand to his ear. "Didn't quite catch it."
[Nothing, Host, (º∀º)] Shelly's scowling face vanished, replaced by a crisp, professional demeanor. Her shell straightened in the air. [On a more serious note—you've got to be more mindful of your hydration. The favorability boost from earlier bought you some time, but it's not a permanent solution.]
"Wait. My favorability increased?" Neville asked.
The holographic screen materialized above the water in front of him. He immediately started swiping through the screen.
[Yes, Host,] she said, floating closer as if to point at the screen. [While it's only a 0.5% increase, you made a distinct impression during your interactions today. This is a good sign.]
Neville stared at the favorability meter on his status page.
It had really increased from 0 to 0.5%. When did that happen?
Shelly continued, her voice taking on the jolly tone of a tutorial guide. [Remember the formula: every half-percent of favorability equals 7.2 minutes of sustained human form. You're literally buying yourself time!]
"Wait a second." Neville's brow furrowed.
He sat up straighter, sending a ripple across the tub. He pressed a finger on another line on the screen. "Then why is my Goodwill balance still at zero? I was helping people all over the place today."
[Ah—ahahaha…(˚▽˚'!)] Shelly's shell wobbled nervously in the air. [You see, Host… for good points to count, you must first use the scan in the area to find those in need of help and formally accept their task on the quest board.]
"You've got to be kidding me." Neville's fingers flew across the screen, pulling up the board. It was a long, horrifying list.
At the top, in glowing red letters, was the summary: 127 EXPIRED QUESTS.
[Those are all the opportunities you've missed, Host,] Shelly said, her voice turning mournfully dramatic. [All those points, gone. Like tears in rain. Like… salt in this very bathwater. (╥﹏╥)]
"Are you kidding me?!" Neville slammed his fist into the water, sending a powerful wave sloshing over the edge and onto the tiled floor. "That's a ripoff!"
[It is the only way the system can verify and track your good deeds, to prevent fraudulent claims,] Shelly explained, adopting the patient, soothing tone of a kindergarten teacher comforting a child who had just been told he couldn't have cake for breakfast.
"I did the work! I helped those people!" Neville roared, his voice echoing in the small bathroom.
He sank back until the water was up to his chin, groaning in despair. "Where are my points?! I want to file a complaint! I want to speak to your manager!"
All that effort.
All those missed chances to earn time, to buy something from the system mall, to do literally anything useful.
All of it erased by a technicality he never even knew existed.
[Now, now, Host. Deep breaths,(｡´･ω･)ﾉﾞ] Shelly offered, her voice soft and appeasing. [At least you made some good impressions, right? That has to count for something in the long run. Reputation is important!]
"Reputation doesn't stop me from ending up on a cutting board, sliced into sushi," Neville muttered, the dark humor doing little to soothe his frustration.
[Indeed it doesn't,] Shelly conceded gently. [But it does mean people won't be suspicious when you start helping them more actively in the future! Think of it as laying the groundwork.]
Neville fell silent, the water lapping against his chest.
He hated to admit it, but the ridiculous pink seashell had a point.
If he had suddenly transformed from a typical new hire into an overly nosy newbie, it would have raised questions.
Now, after a day of being seen as a naturally helpful and useful newbie, his future actions would just look like an extension of his established personality.
It was a bitter pill to swallow, but it was logical.
He let out a long, heavy sigh that seemed to carry the weight of all 127 missed quests.
"Fine," he conceded, running a hand through his wet hair. "You win. What else do I need to know about this whole... hydration situation?"
Shelly's shell did a little loop-the-loop in the air, clearly relieved to move past the quest board disaster. [So, host, I can't show you the exact hydration progress bar yet because your favorability is still too low to unlock that feature, but you did unlock the conversion metrics!]
A helpful chart materialized before him.
Neville's eyes scanned the glowing text, his new reality laid out in bleak, uncompromising terms.
[HYDRATION MAINTENANCE CHART]
Preferred ratio: 50-50 sea salt brine solution
+0.5% favorability = 7.2 minutes of brine-free human form
100% favorability = 100% human transformation freedom
1 cup (20oz) sea salt brine solution (drinkable) = 1 hour human form
Daily Limit: 3 cups for drinking
Foot Bath (10-30 mins per session): 18 cups max = 3 hours human form
12-hour full-body brine bath = 6 hours human form
3 sea salt bath bombs = 24 hours human form
WARNING: Do not stack! Effects do not combine!
Neville stared at the last line, a fresh wave of annoyance washing over him.
Of course. The system wouldn't even let him power up efficiently. It was always going to be a struggle.
"So, basically," Neville's voice was hollow, the numbers from the chart echoing in his head, "at my current favorability, I can function for a total of 7.2 minutes a day without being submerged in salt water?"
[Bingo!＼(＾▽＾)／] Shelly chirped, seemingly oblivious to his despair. [Therefore, to maximize brine exposure during rest hours, I suggest you simply sleep in the bathtub!]
Neville just stared at her, his expression utterly deadpan. "You want me to sleep in the bathtub. You—the system avatar/guide who, not ten minutes ago, was lecturing me about the hygiene of reusing bathwater."
[That's different, Host! (≧口≦)] Shelly's shell flushed a familiar, embarrassed red blush. [That was a matter of hygiene! This is a matter of survival!]
"And what do you suppose I should do about this?" he gestured to the murky water around him. "Change it every night?"
[Well, yes! You could at least drain it after you've recovered!] Shelly replied as a matter of fact.
"With what money?" Neville raised a single, tired eyebrow. "Do you have any idea how much sea salt costs in this city? I'm an orphan who just started his first real job. I don't have a 'bath bomb' budget—not even good points to buy it in the System Mall, Shelly."
They hung in a stalemate, the only sound the gentle lapping of water as Neville breathed.
[Fine. Whatever, Host. (╯_╰)] Finally, Shelly deflated with a sigh. [You can sleep in your gross brine soup. But don't come crying to me when your scales start to get dull and fall out.]
Neville ran a hand through his hair.
It's long again.
It felt thicker, heavier when wet.
He caught the strange, otherworldly shimmer of it in the dim light.
Silver.
The penalty for his earlier dehydration had been more grave than he realized.
He had to be more careful.
But he was really exhausted.
Combined with the soothing, heavy comfort of the salt water, it was an irresistible pull.
His eyelids drooped.
"I have to go back to the orphanage tomorrow," he mumbled, the words blurring at the edges. "Promised the director..."
[You need to rest now, Host.] Shelly's voice was firm, cutting through the fog in his mind. [And hydrate—And for my sake, maybe take a five-minute shower in actual clean water before you go anywhere.]
A faint smile touched Neville's lips. "Bossy Sea Shell."
[Gross host.] ( >︹<)
He let out a soft chuckle, the sound barely disturbing the water.
It was strange to think that just recently, he was completely alone. Now he had a nagging, holographic seashell who now knew how to talk back.
He closed his eyes and let the darkness take him.