The meetings in the halls became fewer in number, and no urgent matters spurred any immediate meetings. The renovations were carried out, though slowly without Germanous, the person who came with the idea and encouraged it enthusiastically at first. He visited some sites were the renovations were taking place in short abrupt visits, commenting little and praising the job in a dull monotonous voice, leaving the engineers and builders to believe they were not doing a great job or were lacking something or forgetting some details, prompting them to return every time to their maps and plans, failing to find any mistakes or ignored details or corrections. And since the governor did not display any pleasure or displeasure thereof, they continued their work with a slower pace, and began themselves paying less attention to their futuristic vision of the city, relieved of the governor's lack of interest or interference which they expected to face plenty of.
A soldier was reporting the restoring of the provinces pillaged southern part, and Germanous listened silently finishing the conversation with a satisfied nod until the hesitant soldier brought his attention to the most important detail the governor seemed to have glossed over or ignored. The rebuilding of the fortress that once stood there and the walls was advancing in a slow pace, leaving a crucial opening for any renewed opportunity for an invasion. Germanous listened again, while the soldier repeated this information and emphasized its importance making sure the young leader did not fall asleep half through his report.
"Those barbaric tribes have learnt their lesson harshly and mercilessly. They will never think of trying their little games once again."
The young governor concluded the argument the soldier was about to start, leaving the hall without even dismissing the poor soldier who had traveled all the way from the south to propose that some of the newly confiscated money that went all to the renovation be given to the fixing procedures at the borders but he did not even have the chance to speak of this matter, and thus passed it to one of Laurentius's soldiers whom he recognized to be in the counselor's service.
Germanous retreated to his bedchamber, though the sun of the noon was still shining powerfully and greedily. He closed the curtains immersing himself in the darkness he had always feared. The fears of being left alone, of being forgotten, of death itself and the eternal blackness it clouded one's body and senses with.
He could not pinpoint what was he lamenting exactly but he was certain that he was disappointed in himself. Where did his zealous spirit go? Did it walk away with the lancer when he left his room that night and did not return? Should he fear this? But the lancer only ever attended when he was invited and Germanous had not done so in months, fearing rejection. Did his vows still stand true and faithful? He did not ask to be spared from them, he merely walked away, pride slighted by the demand Germanous made to the wrong man stupidly.
Was he afraid of the dual wielder's abandonment? Was he ever truly at his side? Yes he was, the same way Germanous was always by his side. So why was he doubting the man? He created the reason but refused to admit or remedy it.
As a governor, he was carrying his duties will enough, he thought to himself, but when did "well enough" become satisfying to him and the high standards he held himself to and above?
He could tell when this happened exactly.
It was the moment he leapt unexpectedly from the role of the dreamers to the role of the exacting man.
This change in the stage upon which he stood brought more gloom and agitation into his mind than what he had imagined. He thought once he held the power within his hands, he will be able to reach everything. He was indeed capable of doing so, but at the same time these hands that could now extend disregarding any limitation were becoming chained with fears. Fears of failure, of missing his goals, of change.
As long as he was a dreamer, no one could pass true judgment on his thoughts and mind, but when he became the man ordering and realizing these dreams, he became responsible and prone to judgment.
He realized he liked to dream as it was a safer area, an open field, a free sky but now responsibility loomed like a ghost upon his chest, laboring his breathing and tangling his feelings into a web he could not cut or undo.
Why was it that the moment he could take control of his dreams, they were invaded by fears and denuded of their allure?
No more magic resided in the corners of his fogged mind, while responsibility and duty were conquering and asserting their dominance. And though he himself as a governor should hold tightly to these two, duty and responsibility, he was on the run from them. However, the safe haven of dreaming was no longer available. It had perished as he crossed from one stage to another. An actor that excelled in one role yet was frightened by the other.
Holding power was satisfying, he celebrated it for days and now he came to lament it as it was paralleled by fears and ominous thoughts.
He needed the reassurance of the miraculous twin spears but he had driven them away. Should he call for the lancer now? The latter would be obliged to obey him but this sort of connection was not what he desired. He looked back fondly at the tent where the lancer encouraged him to fight and accept the price of waging a war, at the time when he leant him his two spears for moral support, at the time when they conversed under the stars like equals.
Could he still view himself and the man as equals? While he lost his passion, did the lancer lose it too? What was his passion in the first place? Was it really what he had promised him; a rank and a battalion to command? Where did the passion of his freedom, the thing Germanous was yearning for most chained by responsibility and outcomes, go? At what point was it no further discussed and conditioned? Did the lancer fall to the habit of being ordered around, was this Germanous's fate as well? falling to the habit of giving orders and overseeing them through intense fear and perplexity?
Was he being deceived by the lancer? Was a different pact made with the woman who held true power over the lancer, the power of his freedom?
Could knights avowing their loyalty lie? Did not Diarmuid betray his king? But Germanous was not his king. He might have deluded himself in this particular idea and indulged himself in this fantasy but that was not the relation he desires to have with the knight. Just calling him "my knight" regardless of what position both held was enough.
But perhaps that also was a mere dream, no longer applicable with the blond's new status.
Germanous was standing at point where his path diverged with Diarmuid, Sabina and Laurentius and he had no campus to guide him, no wind to steer his rudder, nothing but fearful calculations.
He bitterly discovered that fear was his only and constant companion despite what stage he was to perform on.
***
It did not take more than few more days later for the doors of his chamber to be knocked in a disrespectful hurridness, magnified by the soldier impudence to allow himself in, declaring before the young governor could yell:
"Lord Laurentius calls you for an urgent meeting! The matter cannot be delayed and needs you immediate presence!"
Germanous knew his uncle had fed these words to the unknowing soldier to spur his anger and thus his presence but Germanous refused to take his uncle's bait, a pitiful demonstration that he was the man holding the power over everything.
"I will not attend a meeting I did not call for, dissolve it immediately!"
Germanous ordered with murderous intentions, but the soldier did not yield stating in the same urgency, with little regard to the infuriated blond.
"My Lord, we are being invaded!!"
The soldier declared, forcing the governor's arm because if he stubbornly refused again, the counselors would accuse him of dooming them all. Although he did not take the "invasion" threat seriously, he still prepared himself and followed the soldier for the sole intention of scolding his uncle and showing him who was truly in power.
***
"What is the meaning of this?"
Germanous spoke as soon as he stepped inside the hall, but the serious expressions he was surrounded with and the fearless gaze of his uncle made his objection resembles a toddler's tantrum. He could tell by the atmosphere of the hall that something dangerous was on its way. He had been absent from the public and counselors' presence for three days, refusing to hear any news or complains, even jokes. Now that Laurentius had forced him out of his self – imposed solitude, he easily foretold something was going in an unfavorable direction and his negligence for the past three days will be blamed and held against him. Lowering his angry tone into a more composed one as he took his seat, he spoke again:
"What is going on?"
"My Lord, we are being invaded again."
Laurentius spoke calmly, and Germanous adjusted his posture to show the others he was giving his full attention to the discussion, though nothing yet had alarmed his senses.
"Our scouts have spotted the barbaric tribes marching again toward our province."
"Their intentions are clear like pure water, they are allying themselves to get their revenge."
"We have to take measures and plan ahead immediately!"
The counselors' voices rose, each speaking of the facts he had been informed of, some repeating their sentences to emphasis their importance, others saying the same thing with the same exact words, some had more positive attitude toward the problem trying to remind the others of their victory and boast about how they will win again until the voiced concerns became incoherent noises of contradicting purposes, filling the hall with non – complementing tones.
"Can all of you calm down, please?"
Germanous, already rubbing his throbbing head while the meeting and discussions had not really begun, spoke calmly but none seemed to take notice prompting the young governor to stand up, shouting:
"Shut up your mouths and give me something important!"
The hall fell to silence not out of respect, but due to surprise at this childish yelling, as the "governor" stood up stamping his right foot down and shouting with glaring anger. Laurentius bowed his head a little, as if he wanted to laugh but not be seen, or so did Germanous think when he glared in his direction but what he heard was quite the opposite. The long haired counselor sighed tiredly, and took the lead explaining slowly and calmly.
"The barbaric tribes have been spotted uniting and marching in our direction. Nothing is certain yet but the possibility of revenge is very plausible and should be taken into account."
Laurentius summarized the anticipated threat, and Germanous waved his hands at the rest of the attendants.
"Could not anyone of you speak this simply and clearly!"
Germanous huffed and sat down again, continuing to rub his head. The counselors did not understand what he was upset about, but it was certainly not the news. He had already come to this hall in a sour mood and they knew his next words will only be nonsense but to their surprise he rather questioned the matter further as he asked:
"How certain are we of this war possibility?"
"They have no other reason to take the route leading to our province."
Laurentius answered once again when no one dared to speak, fearing of being ridiculed by the moody man in leadership.
"So all of this is a mere assumption?"
"Caution does not require proofs at all times."
"It is not a matter we should ignore..."
Another counselor dared to speak quietly standing next to Laurentius, as if protection laid in the man's shade but Germanous still focused his attention on his uncle, and addressed him as if he was the only man standing in the hall full of old and newly appointed counselors.
"What direction are they coming from this time?"
"The same southern route."
The conversation with the soldier coming from the south reporting the slow progression of the reparation procedures and which was probably meant to ask for funds flashed in the governor's eyes and he gulped his drying saliva without anyone's notice. Thinking silently for few moments, he decided to end the discussion.
"Send more troops and funds to the southern area, this should solve the problem."
"My Lord…"
Germanous turned at the youthful voice, the same young newly appointed official who finally came from behind Laurentius. But despite being met with a bored angry stare, he went on with his concerns:
"Maybe it is a trap… to ward off our attention from the other borders… "
"This may be true, as the tribes are coming together from all four directions."
Another counselor added, to which Laurentius nodded in approval. Germanous shifted his gaze between the three serious faces then spoke.
"They are barbaric tribes with no strategic moves or previous planned actions, all what they seek is to loot and plunder. They would certainly choose the easier portal!"
"Maybe it is in their randomness where their strength lies. Without a strategy, they might attack individually from every direction… therefor I do not see an advantage in concentrating our troops and attention on one specific spot."
Laurentius raised his concerns, and the rest of the hall followed his words with agreeing hums. All except for the man to whom the final decision belonged.
"They are stupid, primal, and lack the intention of conquering or glory… do as I said. We do not have to put the entire province on the alarm and create unnecessary chaos and fears among the people. They are easily affected by any wisps of bad news or of rumors…"
"My Lord…"
Another voice rose, its objecting tone obvious but Germanous waved his hand stopping the counselor who he still spoke despite this:
"We are not certain it is their intent to regroup together at the southern border!"
"I said what I see fit. You are overestimating barbaric tribes that have no leadership or sense of unity… with what will they attack our walls and defenses? The southern border was in bad shape from the beginning so they took advantage… the problem is solved and this meeting has run past its time!"
The blond firmly declared, and in his insistence on using the term "problem" for an actual threat with consequences yet unknown, the hall was empty in seconds, though the murmurs and protests seemed to linger amidst the air for a long while. One man also remained behind despite the order, keeping his habit of lingering back in the hall before leaving it.
"Is there another matter?"
Germanous asked his uncle coldly, and the latter faced the arrogant lad with a stern look. But since the boy was used to it, he did not allow it to stir anything inside of him anymore. However, he was mistaken.
"I only wanted to say that the randomness is the greater foe to logic. When a fool acts, you act the same way he thinks. This should not be so difficult for you."
Germanous looked for a prolonged time at his counselor and uncle trying to put the last sentence on the right scale of the balance of derision and wisdom. His conviction in his decision was shaken so easily, even while the meeting was taking place, he was not totally convinced himself of what he was saying, still bitter by being called in such a way and desiring to oppose the counselors so he would not appear meek. But he saw the logic in Laurentius's words, they were facing an enemy that his actions cannot be anticipated due to their complete contradicting image to the great organized empire. But he was no longer a substitute governor who was forced to withdrew the first order he had given almost as fast as it had been given. The damage was on a smaller scale back then… but now as Germanous examined this new situation from his position, he knew the damage would not now be as equal, it will be even greater if he were to withdraw or change his command as a real governor. He could not risk his pride preferring to risk the entire province. Maybe he was a fool, who knew how to think and act as such and not a wise man who could read a fool's mind. Maybe he was both, but sometimes pride equaled foolishness, he had witnessed this first hand at the lancer's trial and his many subsequent battles where he rushed into death. The matter was that the dual wielder always emerged victorious and thus his actions and recklessness were never compared to foolishness. But would he, the governor, be as lucky? Laurentius was a mere step from losing hope in the blond who thought he was no longer affected by these deep dark eyes. But he was wrong. Knowing this, he still challenged these eyes.
"Defy me, uncle."
Germanous stated, looking directly at those eyes and fighting against not being absorbed into the submission they held everyone at.
"Why split the unity of the chamber with arrogance?"
Laurentius simply spoke, realizing that it was not defiance that molded these challenging words, but a cry of help so he could change his decision without being ridiculed. But the counselor was above staging a coup or carrying on any act that would deal greater damage than the threat of invasion. He knew Germanous was capable of changing his decision without losing an ounce of pride, since this was how Laurentius defined pride. He could tell the counselors had received additional reports, he could pretend to send more scouts, to falsify news, his nephew was not above any of that, and he was the most capable of these plays and games. However, this time he had chosen to cling to what he deemed "pride" at the wrong moment, once again favoring his own image. When the counselor turned his back without replying to the governor, as he had done his duty and clarified his advice, Germanous stood up and opened his mouth meaning to repeat the same words again but one look from Laurentius silenced him.
The long haired counselor was not one to fall to Germanous's games or use them, nor was he a man to gloat at his own sound advice and the foolish choices of his nephew but he was bent on finding a way to minimize the damage to the latter's pride, without leaving an opening for the counselors to rise against their governor. So he had to think fast.
Albeit, it was too late.