Germanous woke up not in the best of his moods. Boredom was becoming synonymous with his life. He had achieved the most difficult part of his dream, he thought he had stepped over the most dangerous stone toward the path of his visions but then, suddenly, as the challenge was no longer there, and the stone he overstepped was removed too easily by the shared destiny of every man; death, he found that he had lost interest in what he was hoping for the easier it became to realization and the more powerful he grew to actually realize it.
He had no more excuses, nothing to frustrate or hinder his advancement in any direction he deemed desirable. The problem was that he no longer found anything desirable as nothing needed haste. He possessed now all the time he wanted to decide when to start something and all the power he wished for to stop it as well.
His self was betraying him once again, and with that, he was betraying the trust the lancer had put in him but he still found no motive or urge. Despite his knowledge of how governors and men in power could fall down as fast as they rise, reminded of this fact by last day miserable and almost laughable assassination attempt, he still did not find the will to do anything or deal with the issues and demands that started to pile on his desk raising the voices of his counselors louder and louder and changing their tone into a more daring and questioning, almost judgmental one.
Remembering night and day the promise he made to the lancer, the promise that invaded his thoughts even during the hours he assigned for pleasure and leisure, did not hone his dwindling will to do anything. He could free the lancer from his enslavement and from his vows and set the man on his own path, away, never knowing where. But not only Sextus's revelation of the lancer's true owner identity stood in the face of that whim, but the lancer himself. The dual wielder was even more of a hindrance than Sabina's ownership of the man. The trust and confidence he placed in him, the alluring bright that dominated his eyes whenever he spoke of Germanous's dreams with words of encouragement prevented the blond from sinking this low and failing the man who pledged loyalty to him through stares only the two of them could understand amidst thousands of people. Despite his steadily declining grow of will, he felt that he could not survive without the lancer, the image of dreams and overcoming obstacles and defying fate that he effortlessly and elegantly drew with the movements of his twin blades. The new governor yearned for a man who would acknowledge him without official papers or forced laws and the lancer was that man. Germanous yearned for the shine of gold and red to be wielded in his own honor and for his countless worthy deeds that he still did nothing of or even attempt to. However, he felt that as long as those two spears were beside him, answering his call whenever needed, he will be safe and able to do the impossible though he had lost sight of what that impossible was. Changing the city? Reforming the laws? Banning the games of cruelty and brutality? He could no longer recall or care the moment he was announced as the new governor, but one thing remained certain, though deceitful and unfair; he was never letting go of the lancer, he will enslave him to himself, although vows pledged sincerely needed no chains, Germanous could never appreciate the virtue of fidelity or comprehend the power of trust.
Maybe because he himself lacked this virtue and power, he deemed everyone to be the same as him. This judgment was a safe nest for his being and bonds with others.
Was he betraying the lancer already or did he betray him the moment he accepted his vows and rewarded them with yet to bloom dreams?
The nights turned longer and longer with sleeplessness, and his thoughts became more and more agitated with the many routes they fractionated into. However, only one issue out of everything he was going through lingered slightly longer than the others in his mind; the assassination attempt.
That assassination attempt, though he feigned not regarding it seriously and instructed its burial in the darkness, he knew very well that even if Sabina was not the one orchestrating this pitiful attempt, the servant or assassin was clearly hers. How else did he know her name or who she was? He was indeed related to her somehow. She might be recognized among the nobles, but not as much among the commoners to her dismay as they did not dare to approach her doors though always opened to them in case they held a valid and justified complaint that need to be righted. But no believed this, only Germanous through his few yet fiery interactions with her. Was Diarmuid aware of this? Did he know of her passion for justice? A passion that would align more suitably with his character and noble nature. If he could corrupt this nature, would the lancer then be his and his alone?
He was playing a game with Sabina, both blinded from each other yet moving the same pawn on the same board.
Another item was no less important than the lancer involved in this game; their uncle Laurentius. He never took sides regarding their arguments, despite knowing very well of the true character of his nephew and niece. Siding with Sabina if she openly declared a war against him seemed the more logical choice Laurentius would make, but up until now, the man had continued to serve him, knowing or feigning ignorance to some of his twisted methods, and enduring his fluctuating desires. He even stood by his side during the past two wars and did not take the opportunity he could, rather deserved, to take control of things. But no, this did not mean in any way that his grim uncle was taking his side. He was merely patient, waiting to see what will the governor previously in name as a substitute and now officially in name and authority, would do and change, waiting for what his patience would fruit with, disappointment or a change worth the long wait.
Holding at threads he could easily tie together if it were not for his shaking hands and restless mind, Germanous went into the meeting hall in the next morning. In the empty room, he walked to the ignored renovation plans and spread the large maps and papers containing the new facilities, where infrastructure needed fixing, and what abandoned areas could be used for. The first steps taken in the renovation plans were to ornament the city with his statues beyond this achievements at the current moment, as he had lost interest in everything else drawn and contained within the designs and sketches.
To his selfish mind, what remained undone of the latter had turned into an obligation, and he hated nothing more than obligations. He wanted to do what he wanted whenever he wanted, being the midst of the night or the early hours of the dawn that had not blossomed yet. Now he had become the governor, and the word and title alone turned into an obligation. He recalled in his ecstatic state brought by drunkenness the many promises about carrying out the renovations and turning the city into an integral and essential trading place thriving like and even more than its neighboring cities that he spat out of his mouth like splattering coins to a group of buggers.
He had to prove their skeptical views of him wrong, and when he realized that this deep wish that he had been always carrying inside of him had also turned into another obligation but toward himself, he fell into another bout of irritation and boredom.
He became the governor, and had to fulfill his duties whether he liked it or not because his neck was on the line. For the first time, the threat of death dominated his mind denuding itself from its more graceful robes; the fears of departing from this world without leaving an everlasting proud legacy, turning into an instinctual fear.
Yet even this threat did not sharpen his will.
***
The excited architects that were finally invited again to the palace, joyful to continue their halted works by the recent curses that befell the city, and ready to erase these dim pages and start a whole new chapter that would make their city renowned and compared to the major cities and which would eternalize their names, were surprised by the grumpy state they found the governor groveling in. The only conclusion they could reach among themselves with silent stares and nods that the governor was ready to announce the termination of these plans, as he did previously with many whims he started in a crazed state of excitement only to abandon them for other whims in a similar state. But this time, no thrill or excitement was seen in the bored eyes. But contrary to the expectations, Germanous ordered in a monotonous voice:
"These plans had laid on the table of this hall for so long, do your work and carry them on."
He spoke trying to voice his investment in the project but failing miserably to do so. The youngest of the group of architects dared to ask:
"Will my Lord not join us in revising the plans?"
"Not today."
The young architect seemed distressed because despite all his flaws, the young governor was truly gifted in arts and possessed an artistic vision and a daring imagination that earned him the admiration of that newly rising man.
Germanous left the room and the group immediately tended to their assigned work, fearing a sudden change in mind followed by a halt of the order. What they did not know, was that when the governor said "Not today", he meant "Not in any time". He gave the orders, pleased the masses he was supposed to please without desiring to carry any responsibility. It was as if his will had aged over one night and was capable of only doing the bare minimum; the oral order. He could claim the glory later but did not have to involve himself and waste his time and exhaust his mind and body.
When he returned to his chambers earlier than usual, at the noon hours, he looked at his reflection in the mirror. What had changed inside of him? He longed for the future and detested the present, and now that future was held comfortably in his hands, its fate lying within them but he still felt nothing. He needed to restore his older – self, to reignite his old flame.
He needed a reason, a stimulant, a constant reminder of the reason he struggled and plotted to be reckoned as the true governor by an official order.
The answer came to him in the shape of a man who never stopped resisting and struggling.
The stimulant he needed was the lancer.
After two days of dwelling over the matter for no logical reason beside procrastinating, Germanous graced the meeting room where the architects and builders were assigned to work in and make their final alternations and decisions, but he was not alone. Behind him, walked the robust dual wielder, packing his twins on his back. Their serious faces, Germanous donning one to assert his authority over the final designs though he really did not need to, while the other found no reason to smile or display his content with the governor's taking heeds of his words and advice. Both made the impression that they were about to commit mass murder of the innocent group who was only following orders with their entrance, but they quickly relaxed when Germanous stood by their side, not only viewing the final designs and plans, but also adding some details and altering others until the final picture was perfect and pleasing to the eyes of commoners and nobles, enough to be an offer to the gods and a rival to the other major cities. Germanous continued to attend these meetings, visiting the places where the builders and workers were currently working, the lancer always by his side and no one could guess the reason behind this company correctly. Some said it was for the governor's own protection, other claimed it ran deeper than that and this company had definitely reached the bedrooms. No one could tell these spears and the beautiful man wielding them was the stimulant and catharsis the governor needed. A pure presence to remind him of his wishes and dreams. These spears were the stone upon which he honed his will into life again, slowly yet steadily. But this serenity did not last long, as a new problem arose, the same old problem of funding which a certain counselor, Atticus, had promised to take care of with his flourishing trade and endless wealth. The same counselor for whom Germanous killed an innocent civilian just to satisfy the latter's spite. But the man did not fulfill the promise or stand up to the obligation despite Germanous's resilience in pursuing him first, then threatening him but he soon realized the mistake he had done, as Atticus haughtily revealed, that the one who carried his wish and gave the order was none other than the governor, and thus he would be the one to be condemned and scrutinized.
With this conversation with the counselor who did not see any benefit in wasting his money on a half – dead city, Germanous's eyes regained their furious fire once again and his will was honed sharper than a hundred swords put together.
What he was lacking to fulfill his dreams was not a will, but a spite to fuel that will. So the next night, Germanous met with the lancer who had not seen the governor in his agitated state for a while and with the authority he possessed now, he handed the dual wielder a patch of papers and ordered simply and briefly:
"I can trust these days no one but you, hide these papers in Lord Atticus house."
What Atticus refused to give willingly and accordingly by their mutual secret agreement, Germanous was determined to get resorting to his old methods of deception and falsifying evidences. He would accuse Atticus of some crime, and seize his properties and wealth to attain his dreams. This method was the one that had never failed him once but in his haste, he had forgotten who he was ordering.
"I thought I was your knight, not your minion."
Diarmuid spoke returning the papers he was handed back to the governor. He could tell their purpose even if he was not aware of the deal or its falling apart, and a wave of shame washed over the blond's body, leaving him in cold sweat. He wanted to get angry, then remembered that the lancer did not belong to him in this twisted way, but as his knight and protector, as his helping hand to accomplish noble deeds.
Germanous smiled sadly, throwing the papers aside and said:
"I do not know what came over me, but it is not as you think. Nevertheless, you are right…always right… you are my knight… please forgive my insult to your honor."
Diarmuid remained silent, he could not accept the apology, not because it was insincere but because his honor was spoiled long ago, and then yet further more in the past year with Plinius, Caden and Oscar's incidents. He could only smile to reassure the governor that he was not angry with him then excused himself. But before he left the dimly lit room, Germanous stopped him with a shocking question.
"Would you die for me, Diarmuid?"
The question was stupid to Diarmuid, an idiotic unusual thought compared to Germanous's sharp mind. The lancer did not even possess his life to gift its death. When Germanous received silence as an answer, he asked again a different question.
"Would you die for Sabina?"
The question was no more stupid than the previous one, yet it could and had to be answered with yes if the lancer was to finally come to term with his enslavement and step down from the horse he rode by the governor's side. However, even if that was the correct answer where he to cast away his denial, he could only reply with the truth.
"I would die for what I believe in."
Germanous did not question any further, and nodded to the man a goodbye.
A goodbye.
By tomorrow, the news of Atticus scandalous affairs and cheating in his trade would be wide spread, he would be captured and his states and money seized by the government. And even if this plot was weaved for a noble reason, the lancer would not forgive the method it was achieved by, and he will certainly know who was behind the matter, losing his faith in the promises of pure glory as Germanous would not only be drenched in the blood of the wrongly accused merchant, but also by the blood of the man who was to carry the mission and this cycle would never stop.
He did not know about the disgracing acts the lancer had done in the battle against the rebellious group, or of the missions he was forced to do for Sabina. In his mind, the lancer was a pure being shining with honor and nobility that nothing could defile even enslavement and entertaining the masses in blood -games. Yet at the end, he believed he was the one who had disgraced and defiled the lancer's honor and belief in him with this rash request.
He did not summon the lancer to the palace again, and could only nod smiling a "goodbye" at him, unable to even utter the words.