The scent of coffee and freshly baked pastries fills the air, a stark contrast to the chaos outside. The warm lighting and soft hum of chatter create an atmosphere far too peaceful for my current state of distress.
I sit slumped over the table, staring at the plate in front of me like it holds the secrets of the universe. It does not. But it does hold food, which, at this moment, is just as valuable.
The moment Horace and Yue set a meal down in front of me, I abandon all dignity and attack it with the desperation of a man who has been wandering the desert for days. Fork, spoon, chopsticks—who cares? Hands exist for a reason! The first bite is a revelation. The second bite is salvation. By the third, I am convinced I may ascend.
This is the first time I thank the creator I'm still alive and didn't squashed flat by those metal beasts they called cars.
Horace watches, expression unreadable. Yue slowly sips his coffee, a single eyebrow raised. They exchange glances, silently communicating what is likely a mix of concern and secondhand embarrassment.
"So," Horace finally speaks, breaking the silence that had been filled only by my enthusiastic chewing. "Who exactly are you, and how do you know our former names?"
I pause mid-bite, a piece of bread hanging from my mouth. Ah, right. Explanations. Swallowing, I straighten my posture and brush imaginary dust off my robe in an attempt to regain composure. I must look cool infront of them, and yeah don't forget dignified, even though just a bit more and I'll lose all of my dignity.
"I," I begin dramatically, "am Shiwei, a Warden of Time."
Silence.
"...Right." Horace nods slowly, clearly unimpressed. "And?"
I sigh. Mortals. No sense of grandeur.
"And I was the one who granted you your ability to Time Leap." I lean forward slightly with a proud smirk on my face, as if expecting their shock and awe.
Instead, Horace blinks. Yue remains unconvinced.
"Uh-huh," Horace says, arms crossed. "And I'm Batman."
I frown. "Who is—"
"Not important," Yue interrupts, waving a hand. "Look, you expect us to believe that you just—what? Handed out time manipulation like a free sample at a grocery store?"
"Yes," I say plainly. "That is exactly what happened."
Horace pinches the bridge of his nose. "You know, for a guy claiming to be some great cosmic being, you're really bad at making yourself sound credible."
That's kinda harsh...
I huff, crossing my arms. "I am telling the truth. If I must prove it..."
I grab a fork from the table and flick it into the air. The moment it reaches the peak of its arc, I reach out with my power, slowing time around it. The fork descends at an agonizingly slow pace, floating like a feather in a nonexistent breeze.
Horace and Yue watch, their skepticism gradually fading into recognition. Yue leans forward slightly, eyes narrowing at the suspended utensil.
"...Okay," Yue mutters. "That's definitely not normal."
Horace sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. "Alright, I'll bite. Let's say you really are who you claim to be. What are you doing here?"
I exhale dramatically, slumping forward as if the weight of existence itself has finally crushed me.
"I wished to observe humans directly," I admit, voice heavy with despair. "To experience their world firsthand. To gain insight beyond what mere observation from afar could grant me."
I wave a hand vaguely, as if gesturing to my current predicament. "But due to... unforeseen circumstances, I descended unprepared."
A beat of silence.
"...And now?" Yue asks, already regretting it.
I place a hand over my chest solemnly. "Now I am lost. I am hungry. I am confused. And I have no means to continue living. To make it short, I messed up my first trip to the human realm."
Yue nearly chokes on her coffee. "What the hell? That escalated fast."
Horace groans, rubbing his temples. "So you're telling us you, a literal Warden of Time, decided to throw yourself into the human world with zero preparation and are now... what? Stranded?"
"Yes."
"You have no money?"
"Correct."
"No place to stay?"
"Absolutely not."
"No plan?"
"None whatsoever."
Horace stares at me. "My guy."
Yue sets her coffee down with a sigh. "You're actually an idiot."
I gasp, placing a hand over my heart in mock offense. "I am a highly intelligent being beyond mortal comprehension!"
"You just admitted to launching yourself into an unfamiliar world with no plan, no resources, and no backup."
"That's... just a minor miscalculation..."
Yue and Horace exchange another look. A silent conversation passes between them, filled with reluctant understanding and mutual resignation.
Horace sighs. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but... fine. We'll help you."
I stare at him with eyes sparkling with anticipation. "You will!?"
Yue shrugs. "We've been through worse."
Horace nods. "Besides, it's not like we can just leave you to starve and wander around looking like a lost monk."
Relief floods me.
Finally! some hope!
I straighten my back, regaining what little dignity remains. "I accept your assistance."
Yue rolls her eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Welcome to the human world, Warden. Try not to die on our watch."
I grin. "You watch me, puny mortals!"
***
Horace leans back in his chair, arms crossed, expression thoughtful as he studies me like some sort of lost puppy. His brows furrow, and he exhales through his nose like he's already regretting what he's about to say. "Now, how exactly should we help you?"
Before I can respond with something dramatic and wise, Yue, who has been silently sipping her coffee up until now, sets her cup down with a quiet clink and sighs as if she's carrying the weight of the world. "Race, I think we better start with his looks."
I blink, tilting my head. "My what now?"
Yue gestures vaguely in my direction with the same energy one would use to point at roadkill. "One—his clothes are dirty. Two—he looks like a street performer or, at best, a low-budget cosplayer. And three—he looks like an idiot."
I gasp, clutching my chest like I've just been mortally wounded. "Hey! That's foul! I am a Warden of Time, you know? Show some respect!"
I say this with all the dignity I can muster—while simultaneously shoveling cake into my mouth with my bare hands.
Yue stares at me, her face utterly blank, before pinching the bridge of her nose. "Yeah, okay, whatever you say, Warden."
Horace, to my utter betrayal, actually nods in agreement. His lips twitch like he's holding back a laugh. "She's got a point. You look like you got thrown out of a medieval drama set and haven't recovered since."
I narrow my eyes at him. "You wound me, truly."
"Not as much as your appearance wounds my eyes," Yue deadpans, standing up with finality. "Alright, let's get this over with. We're getting you some decent clothes before people start throwing spare change at you."
Before I can protest, I am unceremoniously dragged out of the cafe, my cake unfinished. The injustice!
The nearby clothing store is an assault on the senses. Too many colors. Too many choices. Too many clothes. I have spent eons weaving through the fabric of time itself, but this? This is overwhelming.
I squint at the racks of clothing. "Why are there so many variations of the same thing?"
"Welcome to modern fashion," Yue says dryly before grabbing a random T-shirt. "This should work."
Horace takes one look at it and immediately shoves it back onto the rack like it personally offended him. "We're not dressing him like a high school delinquent, Yu."
Yue raises an eyebrow, clearly amused. "Fine, you pick something then, fashion guru."
Horace exhales sharply through his nose, muttering something under his breath about stubborn women and difficult tasks before scanning the racks. Eventually, he picks out a few outfits—things that make me look considerably less like a wizard who got kicked out of his tower.
But the process is not smooth.
"Try this on," Horace says, handing me a pair of jeans and a hoodie.
I stare at them like he just handed me a cursed relic. "What is this contraption?"
"Pants. A hoodie. Clothes normal people wear."
I frown. "The pants have... multiple holes. Why would I wear damaged clothing?"
"It's called fashion, you prehistoric grandpa. Just put it on." Yue rolls her eyes.
After much struggling, muffled curses from the fitting room, and one near-death experience involving a zipper, I emerge.
I change into one of them, stepping out of the fitting room with as much grace as I can muster. "Well?"
Yue tilts her head, crossing her arms. "Huh. Not bad."
Horace smirks, satisfied with his work. "See? I know what I'm doing."
Yue mockingly claps, expression completely unserious. "Wow, congratulations. You made him look like a functional member of society. Barely."
I look down at myself. The material is unfamiliar but comfortable. Certainly less restrictive than my robes, and I no longer look like I belong in a history textbook. I sigh, resigning myself to this human aesthetic. "Alright, great. I no longer look like a relic. Can we move on now?"
"Yeah, yeah." Yue waves a hand dismissively. "Next, a place to stay."
Horace glances at Yue. "Think you can talk to that apartment owner you know?"
Yue shrugs like it's no big deal. "Shouldn't be a problem. The old lady owes me a favor."
Just like that, my impending homelessness is addressed. I stare at them, utterly touched. "Truly, you are my saviors."
"Yeah, yeah, don't get all sentimental now," Yue says. "Let's get this sorted before you start making grand speeches."
The apartment situation is handled smoothly. The owner didn't ask too many questions, and just like that, I have a roof over my head. Horace, ever the responsible one, pays a one-month advance and two months' deposit before handing me some cash.
"Don't be an idiot and spend it all in one go, okay?" He warns, giving me the same look a parent gives a reckless child. "Also, don't trust just anybody. And for the love of all things sane, don't get scammed."
I nod solemnly. "Understood."
Yue sighs, rubbing her temples like she's already exhausted by my very existence. "I feel like you're going to be a handful."
I grin, ever the optimist. "Perish the thought."
Horace groans, running a hand down his face. "Why do I feel like I just adopted a problem?"
"Because you did," Yue says dryly.
I beam at them. "Looking forward to our time together!"
Both of them exchange glances, already regretting everything.
This will be fun!