Lady Eris was loud.
Like she had a built-in megaphone, her voice rang out across the courtyard, shaking everyone's eardrums until they buzzed.
Paul stood there, mouth agape, staring at the carriage door that had just been kicked in. He hadn't expected things to go down like this.
Meanwhile, Allen's gaze was frozen on Eris's blazing red hair. After a beat, he forced himself to look away and turned—stiffly—to face Philip, who still wore his trademark smile and looked like he was just about to speak.
If you want to see what lies beneath calm water, the simplest way is to toss in a stone.
And if you want to know whether someone has a certain capability, the most straightforward method is—
—throw them into chaos and see how they swim.
That was how Philip judged people.
So this visit, he came with two variables.
First, a surprise visit from the great and enlightened biological father, giving Allen the gift of a "pleasant surprise."
Second, the wild dog of a little sister—untamed, untrainable, and thoroughly explosive—giving Allen a "shock to the system."
He didn't even bring Ghislaine, the one person capable of keeping that wild dog on a leash!
Instead, he sent a beastkin maid as a placeholder!!
Unfiltered. Unapologetic.
Allen gritted his teeth as he stared at Philip's utterly pleased expression—a look that said he thought this whole thing was genius.
You really are my damn father, huh?!
This is exactly like the subplot in the original story where Eris is told to beat up Rudeus, just so her family can observe his reaction and determine whether he's worth investing in!
It's a test. Throw the target into chaos, and see what they do.
But seriously?! You're pulling this crap on your own son?!
Fuck. Seriously, fuck!
Allen turned to look at Eris again, and his expression instantly flipped into a wide, delighted grin.
Fuck, my little sister is so damn cute!!
The system panel hadn't vanished for a reason—it still had a task to issue. And maybe it had been stunned by Allen's reaction, because its glowing text hung in the air for a long, awkward pause before finally shifting again.
Letters spun, transformed, and arranged into a new objective.
[Immediate Mission Issued]
[Encounter with Your Sister — Eris]
[The wheel of fate keeps rolling, the butterfly flaps its wings—you've heard this part before. At this extremely "coincidental" yet inevitable moment, the host has now encountered Eris.]
[Mission Objective: Within 48 hours, instill in your sister a proper sense of reverence for her older brother.]
[Careful—this one's not gonna be easy.]
[Mission Reward: Unlock "Divine Strike" Magic Slot]
[Mission Start]
[Eris – Countdown: 48:00:00. Complete to unlock Divine Strike magic slot.]
[Good lu—]
Yeah, yeah. Move aside already. I wanna see my Red Mom!
[...]
[...Real.]
Philip watched Allen's wildly shifting expressions—his sudden gravity giving way to spasms of emotion, his gaze darting between Eris and himself, his features cycling through despair, joy, confusion, and pure elation—and couldn't help but chuckle.
Scared of Eris's personality? Probably. But curious too—those sparkling eyes don't lie. That smile was real. He's a kid who values family, huh? Only ever angry at me? Look at him—so expressive. Still a child, after all.
Bringing Eris really was the right move. I needed a "variable" to draw more information out of Allen.
He turned toward the still-shocked Greyrat family and threw a subtle glance at Rudeus—who was now slowly trying to hide behind Allen, his face stiff with fear.
With a casual tone, Philip said:
"Seems there's been some misunderstanding. When I said I had a simple job offer, I meant it quite literally."
"It just so happens that Eris here—ha—she's in need of a couple of sturdy home tutors."
"This child is… quite a handful when it comes to finding teachers. So far, the only ones she likes are Edna, who teaches etiquette, and Ghislaine, who teaches her Sword God Style swordsmanship. Not many friends her age."
"Allen is, like Rudeus, a young boy around her age. I thought, perhaps, the three of them could enjoy a well-rounded elite education together."
"If Allen or Rudeus could even help teach her arithmetic or such, it might stir up her competitive streak. Let the kids grow up together, happily—and there's a salary, of course. Isn't that a win-win?"
Allen, who'd been fully absorbed watching the live-action chaos that was Eris, now found himself hearing words no sane person should ever speak, and instinctively buried his face in his hands.
As for the Boreas young lady herself—Eris—well, she wasn't exactly known for listening.
But when Philip mentioned "two boys," she picked up on it instantly.
Arms still crossed, she pursed her lips, scarlet brows twisting into a dramatic V as her sharp eyes swept across the crowd.
Sure enough, just like Philip said—two kids were present.
One was a white-haired, pointy-eared elven girl staring at her in shock, like she was thinking "What sort of creature exists in this world?!" That was Sylphy.
Whatever complicated feelings Sylphy had earlier were completely derailed by Eris's arrival and promptly forgotten.
The other one—stiff with terror, body screaming "Don't come near me!"—was Rudeus Greyrat.
Eris's gaze lingered briefly on Sylphy's hair and ears.
"You're Rudeus, right?!"
Sylphy: ?
Rudeus: ??
Before anyone could respond, Eris turned to the boy now half-hiding behind Allen—Rudeus again—and shouted, lips pressed in a pout:
"You're Allen, right?!"
Sylphy: ?
Rudeus: ??
Allen: ?????
Rudeus blinked, unable to make sense of what this girl—whose hair looked like she'd dunked her head in a bucket of primary red paint—was even trying to do.
He furrowed his brow, reflexively replying:
"Me? Allen? I—"
SMACK.
A crisp slap echoed.
Eris's palm landed square across Rudeus's cheek, knocking him sideways.
She turned back to Philip with a loud huff of dissatisfaction.
"What the heck! He's younger than me! How can he replace Ghislaine as my sword instructor?!"
Philip stood there slack-jawed, glancing between Eris and the dazed, utterly lost Rudeus, who was clutching his face in confusion.
Then he looked to the others—Paul, Zenith, Lilia—each one staring in silent shock.
Finally, he turned his gaze to Allen.
Only to find that Allen, at some point, had also buried his face in his hands.
But the way his fingers were slightly parted, the way the corners of his eyes crinkled in delight, the way his lips twitched with suppressed laughter—it all betrayed a truth his posture couldn't hide.
What's the point of reincarnating into Mushoku Tensei if you don't get to witness the legendary "Rudeus Gets Slapped" scene?
Oh? A minor deviation, you say?
Originally, the slap was meant for Allen, and somehow it landed on Rudeus instead?
No problem.
Allen is just a label.
You can be Allen.
I can be Allen.
And Rudeus Greyrat—well, he can be Allen too.
Totally reasonable.
Right?