today's chapter is a little bit emotional :( enjoy ❤️
irene furrowed her brows.
"Beg you to help me?"
Lucas straightened.
"Make it sound sincere."
Irene's temper flared.
"You must have misunderstood something, but… you're the one who decided to bring me here. All of this is your responsibility. Why should I beg you when this was your fault in the first place?"
Lucas answered steadily.
"My fault? I never forced you to come. You followed me here of your own free will. And then you were the one who told me to stop pretending to care about you. This is your fault and yours alone."
Irene's body was already exhausted, but his cunning manipulation making her feel as though she was always losing to him had wounded her pride more than the physical fatigue ever could.
There's no way I'm begging him. Not even if my body freezes into a corpse.
She gathered her dress once more and began walking forward, paying no attention to how exhausted she was.
I've been through far worse than this. What's the worst that could happen?
Lucas watched her back as she walked away, a faint smile appearing on his lips.
So you're determined not to lose until the very end.
"Are you sure you're going the right way?"
Irene didn't answer.
'Does he think I'm stupid? All I have to do is follow the river until I can see the tents.'
She suddenly glanced over her shoulder.
Lucas was walking in a completely different direction, heading north.
Irene let out a mocking sigh.
'What a trickster. Does he really think I'm going to follow him just so he can fool me again?'
She turned forward and continued walking.
'
I just need to stay beside the river.'
Irene kept walking, occasionally glancing behind her.
Then she realized he was gone.
She had already covered quite a considerable distance.
Her legs were trembling.
"Ugh… I'm sweating so much…"
She sank down into the snow and began to think.
"Wait… Is it really possible that we walked this far in the first place?"
Irene lay back in the snow, staring up at the sky.
"Did I lose my way? Was he actually right back then?"
She placed a hand against her forehead and sighed.
"What an asshole… How could I have trusted him like that?"
Then Irene remembered what had happened beneath the rubble.
'
I'm certain I couldn't see properly because of the light…
There's no way that devil actually cried for me.'
then tiredly said:"
Maybe he's been planning to get rid of me from the very beginning by bringing me here…"
A voice came from above.
"Did I really?"
Irene looked toward the source of the voice.
Her eyes widened.
'You bastard… Were you following me from over there this whole time?!'
Lucas began walking toward her.
Irene struggled to her feet once again, only to stumble and fall.
By the time she managed to look up, he was standing directly in front of her.
Her eyes fell on his boots in the snow.
"Even if your mind refuses to give in, your body already has."
Something inside Irene finally snapped.
"What the hell do you want from me?! Why did you bring me here?! Have you forgotten that I nearly died because of you just a few days ago? Wasn't that enough for you?! Does what happened to you look like some kind of joke?! Do you really think I'm in any condition to have someone mock me like this?!"
Her voice began to tremble, the words carrying a desperate urge to cry.
"Do you have any idea… even for a second… how much I suffered under those ruins? How hard I fought against the urge to give up? How many times I had to ignore those voices telling me I was going to die?!"
Her breathing grew unsteady.
"If I had known that surviving would only mean being punished like this afterward…"
She swallowed hard.
"I would have chosen to die back then."
She fell silent for a moment before continuing in a quieter voice.
"You don't know anything about me…"
Her hands trembled as she fought desperately to hold back her tears.
"So if you want to kill me yourself, then do it. I'm not afraid. If that's what you've secretly wanted all along, then just do it."
Her voice grew softer.
"I've had nothing to lose from the beginning…"
Lucas lowered himself until he was at her level.
"Think carefully. Look around you."
His voice was calm.
"If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it a long time ago."
Lucas lowered his head with a tired sigh.
Then he looked into her eyes.
A flood of thoughts began to rush through his mind.
You're right.
I don't know anything about you.
I don't know where you came from, or how you ended up becoming the person you are.
I don't know why there are those marks on your back.
I don't know why, sometimes, you can be so clever and persistent…
And other times, you throw yourself into danger and act like a complete fool.
I don't know why I enjoy seeing this hidden side of you.
I don't know why I get angry on your behalf.
Or why I find myself laughing because of you.
What are you to me?
Lucas took off his coat and gently placed it over her head.
Irene didn't move.
Perhaps she had finally reached her limit.
Or perhaps she had simply let those words escape before she could stop them.
Lucas helped her to her feet, then lifted the coat slightly so he could see her face.
"Do you feel better now that you've finally let all those words out?"
Irene's eyes widened.
His words had caught her completely off guard.
"If you're upset, then say you're upset. If you're angry, then say you're angry. If you're not fine, then say you're not fine."
His voice remained calm.
"You don't have to hide your feelings like this. You don't have to force yourself to eat spicy food. And you don't have to refuse examinations or treatment, either."
Spicy food?
Irene finally looked directly at him.
There was something in his eyes she couldn't understand.
Is he talking about that day?
Did he know about all of it?
Irene lowered her head.
Everything she did around him seemed pointless.
It was as if he could read her thoughts and already knew everything about her.
For the first time, she felt stupid—completely unlike the person she had always believed herself to be.
Idiot! What are you doing?!
Don't you dare cry in front of him.
And then…
Lucas pulled her into his arms.
Irene's eyes widened.
What? What is he doing?
I don't understand anymore… Why is he acting like this?
What are you planning? What do you want from me?!
The tears she had been desperately holding back finally spilled over.
Her body began to tremble.
And at last, she gave in.
She cried.
It was a deeply sorrowful cry, wrung from a body that had already been pushed far beyond its limits.
Irene hadn't cried in front of anyone for years.
But in that single moment, it felt as though everything she had been holding together finally collapsed.
Memories of everything she had endured came rushing back, one after another, and her sobs grew louder.
…
Lucas held her against his chest, his arms wrapped warmly around her as he listened to her crying.
The sound was unlike anything he had ever heard before.
Something tightened painfully inside his chest.
It felt as though his heart were breaking.
That spoiled princess was crying as though she had been carrying the weight of the entire world on her shoulders.
And in that moment, something in the way he saw her began to change.
Perhaps he had been wrong about her.
No matter what he had heard about Irene, the person in his arms now felt far more real than any rumor ever could.
For the first time, he understood a fragment of those strange feelings he had been experiencing.
Because at that moment, all he wanted was to protect her from the entire world.
Idiot… stop.
Why can't I stop?
Get yourself together…
But it was useless.
Irene couldn't stop until she had shed every last tear she had left.
Eventually, her sobs began to fade.
Lucas gently pulled her away from his chest.
He looked at her tear-streaked face.
It was the first time in his life he had ever seen her cry.
They say a beautiful woman's eyes become even more beautiful when she cries.
I hate this.
I hate seeing you cry…
But I don't hate this face.
Lucas lifted his hands to her face and gently wiped away her tears.
Then he spoke softly.
"Do you feel better now?"
Irene suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to run away from him.
She quickly raised both hands and covered her face.
Lucas smiled.
Then, in a quiet voice, he murmured,
"Cute."
He straightened and raised his voice.
"Now that we're done here, let's head back before everyone starts worrying."
Suddenly, Irene felt herself being lifted off the ground.
She pulled her hands away from her face.
Lucas was carrying her.
"What are you doing?! Put me down!"
"What? You've walked enough for today."
to be continued...