The next morning, V told me Love Machina Inc. had scheduled a maintenance appointment for the following day. I had no idea if this was the replacement Kira had warned me about.
Today, I was still expected at the Machina Learning meeting, and I had planned to confirm it with Calypso.
The realization sat heavy in my chest: this might be my last full day in the City.
"I did some research. It could be a memory corruption issue... Sleep-mode processing could be corrupting data or... I don't know, actually. Technology isn't really my thing," V took his head between his hands.
He looked so worried for me, it broke my heart.
My nightmare, or what I learned later was a panic attack, had shaken him much more than it had me. I remembered his fright at Stellar Slices, when he had thought I was choking on pizza.
I couldn't imagine how scared he must have felt when he found me hyperventilating, crying, and shaking uncontrollably last night.
But the difference with me was I knew why it had happened.
Maybe that was why it felt easier for me to understand it.
I just couldn't tell him about it.
"It's okay. Don't worry," I curled my fingers around his, letting the loop's soft vibrations press against our backs. "I'm sure they will find what's wrong with me and fix it."
There were so many things I wished I could tell him about.
The displaced people, the medicines, the people from Tardigrad... His brother. The eugenics project.
Me. My life. Who I was.
There was so much more to fix than myself.
"Will you let me go to the appointment with you?" he asked with pleading eyes.
"Of course."
He relaxed for a second, relief softening his face, but the worry slid right back over it when his gaze turned to the window.
He'd taken the day off work. He didn't say it, but I knew he wouldn't let me out of his sight for too long until I got the check-up.
I knew I should have felt guilty for keeping so much from V. Not just my identity, but the whole double life I lived outside the City. I was also hiding the knowledge that his brother was still alive.
I knew I should have been afraid that my contract would end soon.
But the reality was... I didn't know how to feel.
What I had witnessed last night at the oasis had shaken me to the core. I didn't know who I was or what I stood for anymore. The City around me felt no less foreign than the day I had first been sent here, even now, two months later.
Around us, the loop hummed with its ordinary calm: clean wagons, soft lighting, people tucked into their routines...
And yet, the sight made my chest ache.
Beyond these walls, families were dragging themselves through dust and heat, scavenging for water, for food, for shelter.
How could such abundance breathe the same air as this level of devastation?
It didn't make sense.
V had insisted on taking me to the meeting. When we stopped in front of the teahouse, I realized it was the same one where everything had begun.
"I'll be nearby," he said softly, his sad eyes still worried on me. "Text me when you're done."
He kissed my cheek and pulled me into a hug. Whatever reserve he once held about showing me affection in public had melted away in the past few days. It was replaced by an almost desperate feeling, as if letting me go, even for a short while, was becoming harder for him to bear.
At least he will have someone to replace me. A machina looking just like me will take my place.
I will have no one.
When I stepped inside the teahouse, all my senses were reminded of that first meeting here. The floral smell, the flower-shaped robots gliding gracefully between tables, and beyond them, the suspended garden spilling green into the air... It was just as breathtaking as the first time.
And yet, it felt different.
I felt different.
Calypso sat alone when I arrived.
I wanted to ask her immediately about the maintenance appointment. I had to confirm if that would be the day I would be replaced, and prepare myself accordingly.
But before I could speak, she took the lead.
"I miss Kira," she sighed, a sad smile tugging at her lips.
I was one of the few in the City she could talk to about her.
"Me too," I admitted.
"I know it's better this way," she added immediately, as if I might assume she wished Kira had stayed in this abusive situation back in the City. "But I can't help missing having her around... We'd never truly lived in the same place before. So... that was nice to experience."
I slowly nodded, imagining that the two lovebirds must have had far more secretive meetings than the one I had inadvertently spied on.
"Why couldn't she move here? To be with you?" I asked.
From what I had spied on, I knew Calypso couldn't go to Tardigrad because of her health. I didn't know the specifics, and I didn't want to be rude by asking about it.
"People from... there... can't even travel here," she said carefully, and I understood that by "there" she meant Tardigrad. She was choosing her words carefully because we were in a public place. "Almost everyone can come here... but them."
"Why not?" I asked.
She hesitated a moment, then said quietly, "I guess... they're scared of their ideas."
I frowned, intrigued by her answer, but also knowing it wouldn't be safe to discuss it openly in public.
My mind brought me back to my own experience with people from Tardigrad.
When Vincent was floating in the water, and asking why medications couldn't travel freely.
When Firinne complained about the feeds only covering the rain festivals and not the escape of a prisoner.
When Kira whined about the food not being to her taste.
I couldn't understand why these ideas were considered dangerous. What did I not know about the City that made them see such thoughts as a threat?
Chaoxing arrived, so caught up in chitchat with Aurelian that they barely noticed me when I greeted them.
"So very sorry, Sade!" she reached for my hand across the table to apologize.
We had always sat next to each other, and I couldn't help but wonder what Aurelian was like for him to so easily replace me.
"We were just discussing the opening of the new Healing Center nearby!"
Still, I was glad she had made new friends.
Then, Kira arrived.
Well... Not truly Kira.
The machina that had replaced her walked in, perfect in every movement, every gesture. It was uncanny. Like a mannequin wearing the shape of someone I once knew.
For once, she had no bruises.
Was the machina doing something different with her owner, perhaps?
Our eyes met.
And, as usual, I was greeted with that same disdainful look Kira used to give me. Love Machina Inc. clearly had a way to collect data about us, outside of our homes, to know how we interacted with others.
They only missed everything else that Kira was in private. Like the way she hugged me at the oasis. Or when she cried in my arms in the bathrooms.
I wondered what they had picked up about me that would be in the new Sade.
I wanted to puke at the idea.
"Morning, everyone!" Firinne arrived, and we all welcomed her back.
Instantly, I could feel the room breathe easier with her presence.
She sat beside me. Already, my knuckles brushed against her hip. She didn't look at me, but her head tilted slightly, acknowledging me.
I had retrieved the silver rectangle from my bag, hiding it in the palm of my hand. My hand flattened on the bench between us, my pinky grazing her hip again. In the most natural gesture, she uncrossed her legs. I withdrew my hand, and she crossed them back as if nothing had passed between us.
Minutes later, I noticed her adjusting her bra, and I knew the silver key was securely hidden in there.
She never asked why I had decided to do it in the end. I struggled to answer myself.
I had waited until V was in the shower to sneak into his office. Following Finn's instructions, I had dragged the rectangle along the back of V's desk tablet until I felt a magnetic pull. A green light appeared beneath the silver key, blinking, one, two, three... up to six, then disappearing.
I pulled the key back, knowing they had access to his tablet now.
This would prove V's innocence. They would know not to come after him.
At least I could do this before my contract ended.
Who were they? I had no idea. I could only hope they were on the right side.
I could only hope I was on the right side.
But how could I doubt, after what had happened at the oasis? Firinne completely panicked because she couldn't help more. Kira sharing her rationed food with others. Vincent calling for order and keeping the crowd from tearing itself apart.
I barely followed the discussions happening. My gaze drifted to the hibiscus tea in front of me, the same I had ordered two months ago.
Somehow, it tasted different too.
I didn't even notice when Calypso called the meeting to an end. Only when people rose to leave did I snap back to myself.
"Calypso, wait."
Our coordinator turned back, her eyes sweeping the place to make sure everyone else was already leaving. Firinne had gone too, arm in arm with Chaoxing and Aurelian. She had told me yesterday that she knew she would be the last to end her contract. First one in, last one out, as she told me.
"I wanted to ask about my appointment tomorrow. Would that be the day...?" I left the sentence in the air, letting her imagination finish it for me.
Calypso glanced around again, then nodded with a smile.
It felt like a gigantic boulder dropped over my chest.
"Congratulations," she said, her smile widening as her hand came to rest on my arm, giving it a gentle squeeze.
I knew what she meant.
Congrats on paying off your whole debt.
Congrats on earning your freedom.
Congrats on the new life you'll start tomorrow.
Everyone seemed to expect me to be happy about the prospect.
Calypso walked out, and I remained frozen in place, every limb heavy and unwilling.
Tomorrow, I will be free.
Tomorrow, I will leave him.
The two truths pulled at me from opposite ends, stretching me so tight that I couldn't move, couldn't breathe. The one thing I had been waiting for all my life was going to happen tomorrow, and I had never felt so unprepared.
I stayed there, suspended in the tension, for what felt like an endless minute.
Until someone I knew appeared in front of me.
🗓️ Next chapters: this Thursday, October 9th 🗓️
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