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Translator: Vine
Chapter: 85
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When my mind was in turmoil, time, strangely, seemed to fly by. I barely registered how I'd deflected or handled others' words, as if time was rushing past, unwilling to grant me any more reprieve.
"..."
By now, it was well past lunchtime.
I was no longer sitting on the sickbed. Quite the opposite, in fact.
*Soft, even breaths.*
Millia, asleep on the sickbed, came into view, her breathing soft and even. My gaze drifted, lost in thought, to her black hair, slightly disheveled from a slight turn of her head.
Seeing that, it truly hit me again.
'...It was true that she stayed up all night by my side.'
Around lunchtime, Luna's visit had caused quite a stir in the infirmary. Millia had managed to soothe and send away Luna, who was clearly very worried about her. After that, Millia had fallen into a deep sleep, as if utterly exhausted.
And so naturally.
I found myself watching over the sleeping Millia.
Just as she had watched over me last night, it felt only right that I should, in some small way, return the favor. Besides, going back to the afternoon lecture alone was out of the question, considering Millia's situation.
"Cadet Han Cheon-seong. What are you thinking about right now?"
"...Huh?"
"You're not having any naughty thoughts looking at Cadet Millia while she's asleep, are you?"
When Adelia teased me with her mischievous prank, I wasn't as flustered as I had been the first time.
"Instructor. How could I possibly think such a thing?"
"Oh, really? I just thought Cadet Han Cheon-seong was staring a little too intently. I figured you might be harboring some ulterior motives."
Even as Instructor Adelia spoke with a sweet smile, that word bothered me.
'Ulterior motives, huh.'
To be honest, I couldn't exactly claim to have *no* ulterior motives.
Millia, whom I'd considered my ideal type since the first time I saw her, was now showing such a vulnerable side to me. It wasn't as if I *couldn't* let my gaze linger on her.
"Still, what can I say? It's truly heartwarming to see you two watching over each other like this, as if genuinely concerned."
"More than worry... it just feels like something I *should* do."
"Naturally, you say... From where I stand, it's anything but natural. I'm saying that even Cadet Han Cheon-seong's answer right now is a pleasant sight."
I chuckled softly at Adelia's words, then looked back at Millia.
"So, Cadet Han Cheon-seong, you know. I've been back at the Academy for over a year now, and in that time, I believe I've seen countless cadets. Cadets living fiercely, with diverse values and different ways of thinking."
"...Cadets living fiercely, you say."
Though I answered absently, I didn't neglect to listen to Adelia's voice.
"Yes, that's right. Everyone these days is so obsessed with competition. It's incredibly rare to see cadets who genuinely care for one another, even if they're aware of each other. Of course, it's not that such cadets don't exist at all, but everyone just feels like they have no breathing room. As if they're compelled to somehow outperform other cadets and achieve higher grades. The truth is... this Academy itself constantly discriminates against cadets. So, perhaps it's a natural outcome, given the circumstances."
I listened to her calm, continuous voice without a word.
While cadet effort is, of course, a matter of individual capability, Groa constantly pushed cadets hard, almost coercing them into striving.
To avoid falling behind other cadets, they had to strive. To receive better treatment, they had to develop their unique traits. Because of this, almost everything was subject to discrimination.
Simply put, even food was priced, the living environment in the dormitories, and other facilities like training grounds were all strictly segregated by class. Even instructors often treated cadets differently based on their grades.
It was a natural outcome, perhaps. But as Adelia said, it seemed they were excessively pushed to compete against each other.
"So, while there are cadets who come to check on injured friends, I've rarely seen anyone stay by their side, even skipping lectures, or staying up all night like you two. That's why the more I observe both Cadet Han Cheon-seong and Cadet Millia, the more remarkable I find you."
A faint smile escaped me at her words, full of genuine goodwill.
'I'm not doing anything particularly special.'
It seemed that Adelia viewed me in a favorable light. Perhaps, then, my actions weren't as 'natural' as I thought.
Even within the same class, only a very small number of individuals can advance to the next level each year. The number of cadets allowed to progress to the next class is strictly limited to three.
Even that seemed designed to foster competition. And yet, if the examiners deemed them below standard, they wouldn't even fill all three spots; that would be the end of it.
Then... my gaze fell absently on Millia.
"I... don't quite understand Millia."
Amidst my confused thoughts, I inadvertently voiced my feelings.
"Cadet Millia?"
"Yes... It would have been enough for her to just bring me to the infirmary. But she said she stayed by my side all night. I'm grateful for that, but I just can't quite understand it."
If asked if I was *that* close with Millia, I would have said no.
I remembered having a pleasant conversation after I approached her last time. But there hadn't been any notable meetings since then. Our interactions were limited to casual greetings when we happened to cross paths.
Rather, I'd focused on Luna. I was concentrating on her 'Battle Cure' trait, a healing ability that would later be highly valued, even called 'cheating' for its effectiveness.
So, there were times I deliberately avoided paying attention to Millia. Even if she was my ideal type, I tried not to show interest.
'Because Luna doesn't want me to get close to Millia.'
But now, with the situation as it was, I couldn't help but pay attention.
Why did Millia... stay by my side all night? I'd felt a strange feeling even the first time, and even now, I didn't know how I should view Millia.
I knew she showed me kindness and goodwill. But I'd always attributed that to her inherent good nature.
'But the fact that she stayed by my side all night... could I *really* just attribute that to her good nature?'
That kept gnawing at me. If it wasn't just my imagination...
Suddenly, the moment Kallia had left came back to me.
"—Excuse me for a moment."
Millia, after saying that, had approached me without hesitation.
"—It's not for any other reason... I was just bothered that your hair was disheveled, Han Cheon-seong. Did I make you uncomfortable?"
And then, she immediately pulled her hand away from me, her cheeks flushing as if embarrassed.
"..."
I swallowed the sigh that had risen to my throat.
It felt like something kept unsettling my heart. No matter how much I tried to steel myself, someone kept doing things that would stir my emotions, as if testing me.
Even when I tried *not* to misunderstand, it felt as though the situation was deliberately leading me to.
"..."
Then, when Adelia remained silent, I cautiously turned my head.
When our eyes met, she looked a little surprised, making me wonder if I'd done something startling.
"Instructor Adelia?"
"Oh... Why?"
"You suddenly went quiet. Did I say something strange, perhaps?"
How would Millia's actions be perceived from an outside perspective, not just my own? That's what I had asked Adelia.
"No, it's not that you said anything strange. I was just thinking a bit more about Cadet Millia myself."
"In that case, Instructor, what do you think of Millia's actions? How should I interpret them?"
I asked absently. I didn't want to gloss over this situation.
I hoped I wasn't the only one misinterpreting things and having my heart swayed. I wanted to confirm if this time, it was truly safe to believe Millia harbored feelings for me.
"I think it's entirely... possible."
"It's possible..."
But at an answer so different from what I'd expected, I was momentarily speechless. Immediately afterward, Adelia smiled.
"Cadet Millia encountered Cadet Han Cheon-seong, who had lost consciousness while walking in the park at night, didn't she? And seeing you two talk after you regained consciousness, it seems like you've already become close... So she might have stayed up all night by your side purely out of concern. And from what I've observed, Cadet Millia has a truly kind heart."
I just nodded absently at her continued words.
Honestly, I had hoped Adelia would tell me that Millia had a crush on me, or harbored feelings for me.
Then... I could adjust my attitude towards Millia later on.
"Cadet Han Cheon-seong. Be honest with me. You were hoping I'd tell you Cadet Millia harbored ulterior motives, weren't you?"
Her words hit the nail on the head, and I could only manage an awkward laugh. Embarrassment, shame, and even a touch of humiliation washed over me, yet I couldn't deny it.
"...Yes. Honestly, I did."
"I think Cadet Han Cheon-seong is entirely capable of thinking that way. A cadet as cute and pretty as Millia, from the same class, stayed up all night worrying about you. Of course, you'd think that."
Adelia's continued words felt like a contradiction.
'Then why...'
Why did Adelia give an answer so completely different from what I'd hoped for?
While her explanation that the situation, combined with Millia's kind nature, was the reason certainly wasn't without merit, she could have, conversely, told me that Millia harbored feelings for me.
"..."
As I stared at her, our gazes meeting, Adelia suddenly raised her hand.
As I blinked blankly and watched her hand, she immediately approached me.
*Grab.*
"...Instructor Adelia?"
"Cadet Han Cheon-seong, seriously... With those expectant eyes. Is it allowed to look so cute?"
She gently cupped my cheek and continued to fiddle with it, leaving me dumbfounded. *Cute*? Out of nowhere?
"Anyway, I answered carefully, saying that I could interpret it that way. If I had answered that Cadet Millia harbored ulterior motives, as Cadet Han Cheon-seong wished, then your eyes would have looked like you were about to confess to Cadet Millia. And what if my words weren't the correct answer? If that were the case, both Cadet Han Cheon-seong and Cadet Millia would be in a very awkward position, wouldn't they?"
Adelia's words made me realize how short-sighted my thinking had been.
For a fleeting moment, I had tried to completely rely on someone else's opinion.
I should have considered the possibility that her opinion might not be the correct answer, but for a moment, I had tried to take Adelia's words at face value.
"...I apologize, Instructor."
"No, why would you apologize for this? And I truly admire Cadet Han Cheon-seong's cautious and thoughtful attitude. I mean, even now, you're so adorably asking for my opinion, aren't you?"
*She continued to gently knead my cheek.*
As she continued to gently knead my cheek, I just accepted the action with an awkward smile.
...
The time I spent by Millia's side, enduring Adelia's playful teasing, continued. Although an injured cadet came in and Adelia had to leave for a while, I still didn't leave Millia's side.
As I sorted out my feelings, I began to feel pure gratitude towards Millia.
Before feeling attraction towards her, who was close to my ideal type, I already knew how much genuine goodwill her various actions towards me represented.
*Slowly.*
And as it passed 3 PM, the time for afternoon lectures to end, I slowly rose to my feet.
"Are you going back now?"
"Yes. Waiting until Millia wakes up feels a bit... awkward."
...Millia might have stayed by my side out of pure, selfless concern, but I didn't think I could be as pure in my intentions as she was.
"Instructor Adelia. Thank you very much for today."
"Alright. And Cadet Han Cheon-seong. If you come back injured next time, I suppose I can accept it, but don't lose consciousness like today, alright? That genuinely startles me."
I had to head to the training grounds, the spear familiar on my back. I'd wasted far too much time today.
"Surely not, Cadet Han Cheon-seong. You're thinking of training *again* today?"
"I won't overdo it."
"Haa... If you really lose consciousness again and end up back in the infirmary, I'll be genuinely angry. Are you prepared for that?"
I smiled at Adelia, who looked as if to say I was incorrigible.
"If that happens again, then please, truly scold me severely."
"...Cadet Han Cheon-seong. Is that *really* the appropriate answer right now?"
"I don't have the confidence to say I won't do it again..."
Even as I spoke, I had been thinking about it all day.
I had thought a lot about Millia, but more than that, now that I had a clue about the skill, I knew I couldn't stop here.
That I had to move forward.
"...."
I smiled at the speechless Adelia, then exited the infirmary.
*Click.*
As I stepped out the door, I steeled my resolve.
Facing reality and keeping my gaze fixed on the path ahead.
And to diligently strive, keeping my gaze fixed on what I needed to do next.
Therefore, I had to face that terrible pain I'd felt yesterday once more.
Because I needed to further concretize the concept of the skill I had begun to grasp, however faintly.
Then, and only then, I believed I could save Charite with my own strength, not merely by wishing or wanting.
'If I truly strive, if I can genuinely reach for it...'
I had faith that such resolve would surely reward me.
What truly mattered to me now was an unyielding heart.
"Yes. I won't be broken by pain."