Quest:
> Eliminate the giant chicken terrorizing the outskirts.
Reward: 5 Bronze Coins, free chicken dinner, local bragging rights.
Warning: Cluck at your own risk.
"Are we really doing this?" I muttered as I stood in a field, staring at massive claw prints that looked like they belonged to a prehistoric ostrich with a grudge.
> Mission Activated: "Poultrygeist Showdown"
"That's not even a pun! That's a crime."
> It's a fowl situation.
"…Stop."
> No.
---
Five Minutes Later…
I tiptoed through tall grass, holding my Rubber Chicken of Confusion like it was a sacred relic.
Somewhere nearby, I could hear it—the haunting sound.
"BWOK!!"
The air vibrated. Birds fled. My soul left my body briefly.
"I swear, if this thing breathes fire, I'm uninstalling reality."
I peeked over a hill…
There it was.
A three-meter-tall chicken, pure white, wearing what looked like a spiked collar, and kicking over a scarecrow like it owed it money.
> Boss Identified: Mother Clucker, the Beaked Menace
Species: Mutated Alpha Chicken
Weakness: Dignity
Danger Level: 2½ out of 5 Angry Farmers
"I can't believe I died in my old world and came here just to fight poultry on steroids."
> Reminder: Your current weapon is also a chicken.
"…This is fine. Everything's fine."
---
I crouched low and started crawling through the grass like a ninja with a head injury.
> You've activated Passive Skill: Untrained Stealth Lv. 1
Effect: You are 5% sneakier. Warning: May trip over own feet.
Snap.
The chicken's head turned toward me, eyes glowing red.
> Alert: Boss has detected you.
Tip: Run?
"RAAAHHHH!!" it screamed.
"NOPE!"
---
I threw my rubber chicken like a boomerang. It hit Mother Clucker square in the beak and bounced off with a squeak.
The monster froze.
> Confusion inflicted!
Duration: 3 seconds
"Now or never!"
I ran in and… punched it.
Yes. Punched.
Not my best plan.
Its confused eyes blinked. Then it headbutted me into a tree.
> -10 HP
Bones rattled: 3
Ego bruised: Yes
---
"SCREAM OF PANIC!"
> Panicked Scream Lv. 1 Activated
Stuns for 1 second!
Mother Clucker stumbled.
> New Combo Unlocked: Screech + Squeak = Chicken Fury!
I grabbed the Rubber Chicken again and began whacking like a man possessed.
WHAP! SQUEAK! WHAP!
> Critical hit!
Weak point struck: Ego
Mother Clucker staggered backward… and fell into a mud pit.
> Boss Defeated!
+100 XP
Loot Acquired:
– Chicken Drumstick (Legendary Size)
– Feather of Cluckening
– 5 Bronze Coins
– Title Unlocked: Chicken Slayer
I collapsed next to the muddy poultry corpse, gasping.
"That… was the most ridiculous battle of my life."
> Correction: It was your first battle.
Expect worse.
"…Yay."
---
Back at the Guild…
The villagers cheered when I returned.
"Is that the guy who beat the mutant chicken?"
"With a rubber chicken!"
"A hero! A dumb one, but still!"
The receptionist handed me the reward. "Congrats. Chicken dinner's free tonight. Want thigh or breast?"
"I want therapy."
---
That Night…
> New Mission Available!
"Investigate strange ruins in the Whispering Forest."
Danger Level: ???
Reward: Epic Loot (Probably)
I looked down at the mission notice… then at my weapon.
"…Do I get an upgrade?"
> New Weapon Shop Unlocked!
Featured Item: Bronze Sword of Slight Competence – 15 Bronze Coins
I had… five.
"I'll take the rubber chicken."
> A true warrior chooses his poultry.