Chapter 1: Introduction – TOXIC
"You can only cry when no one sees you. Otherwise, they just laugh harder."
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The alarm buzzed.
6:30 AM.
Choi opened his swollen eyes slowly, blinking against the dull sunlight filtering through the broken blinds. His apartment smelled like mold and last night's stale ramen. He didn't move. He never did—not right away. Movement meant pain.
His body was bruised. His ribs throbbed when he breathed. A purplish-yellow bruise curved beneath his right eye, still raw from yesterday's blow. He didn't need a mirror to see it—he could feel it. Each day, new bruises. New wounds. Same school.
He sat up, wincing.
The room was dead silent. No morning news. No parents chatting. Just the creak of the fan above, barely spinning.
Choi's fingers fumbled with the blanket as he slid out of bed. Cold floor met his feet. He walked slowly toward the tiny sink near the corner of the one-room apartment. Brushed his teeth without looking in the mirror.
He didn't like mirrors.
They reminded him of who he was.
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7:10 AM. School bag ready.
Choi walked down three flights of concrete steps, then into the cracked sidewalk. The neighborhood was full of rusted signs, peeling posters, and honking delivery bikes.
On the way to school, he passed by the bakery.
The scent of fresh bread hit him. He stared at the window briefly.
Last week, he had stood in front of that same window for twenty minutes with an empty stomach before walking away. He remembered how the girl behind the counter avoided eye contact.
He was used to it.
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Class 2-C: 7:50 AM.
He arrived early, as always. Not because he liked school—but because it was the only place that had heating.
The classroom was half-empty. He quietly slid into his seat—the far corner, by the window. Desk #32.
No one greeted him.
Some students entered, laughing with friends. None looked his way. A few glanced and quickly looked away, as if his presence made them uncomfortable.
A few minutes later, he heard the voices he hated the most.
Jin Taehoon. Do Kwan. Yoon Byungsoo.
And behind them, giggling like poison in perfume—Min Jiwoo.
---
Jin slammed the classroom door open like he owned it.
Jin Taehoon: "Morning, pigs. Where's our class mascot? Oh—there he is."
His eyes locked on Choi.
Do Kwan chuckled as he passed behind Choi's desk, knocking his pen off the table.
Do Kwan: "Oops. My bad."
Choi bent to pick it up without a word.
Yoon Byungsoo leaned in with a fake smile.
Yoon: "Hey, Choi. You smell worse than usual. Do you shower in toilet water or just roll in garbage?"
Min Jiwoo: "Maybe both. He is a multi-tasker."
Everyone around them laughed.
The teacher entered five minutes later, acting like she heard nothing.
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10:00 AM – Bathroom Break
Choi sat on the toilet seat in the farthest stall, arms wrapped around his legs. His breathing was uneven. The tears he'd held back since morning finally rolled down.
His body trembled.
Why was he still trying? What was left to try for?
The door slammed open.
Jin Taehoon (outside stall): "Choi! You in there? Come out, pig. Or I swear I'll break this door in."
Silence.
Jin Taehoon: "Tch. Come on, bro. I'm your friend. Let's go get some cold drinks."
Choi (hesitant): "...Really? You guys... are my friends?"
Min Jiwoo: "Of course, Choi. Come on, silly."
He stood up slowly.
Opened the stall.
CRACK!
Jin punched him in the face. He staggered.
Do Kwan slammed a fist into his gut.
Do Kwan: "Stay down, pig."
Choi (gasping): "Please… leave me alone…"
Ding. Ding. Ding.
The bell rang.
The door opened. A teacher appeared.
Teacher: "What's going on here?! Min Jiwoo?! What are you doing in the boys' toilet?!"
Min Jiwoo (fake crying): "Sir! Choi attacked me. I was trying to help him and he went crazy!"
Teacher: "Choi! Office. After school."
He didn't respond.
---
After School: 3:45 PM
Choi was dragged outside near the bike shed.
Jin Taehoon: "You embarrassed me. Time to pay."
Punch. Kick. Punch.
He hit the ground. Blood on dirt.
He didn't scream.
He never screamed.
---
He walked home.
Opened the door to silence.
No mother. No father. Just a cracked photo frame.
He lay down on the floor.
Choi (whisper): "Why am I still here…?"
The fan creaked above him.
Darkness took him.
12:00 PM – Lunch Break
The school cafeteria was loud. It always was. The murmur of students blending into the clinking of trays, forks scraping plates, and the occasional burst of laughter. But to Choi, it was all just a noise. A background hum, an environment that felt more like a prison than a place to escape.
He sat at the edge of the cafeteria, away from the tables where everyone laughed and joked. Not that anyone invited him to join. He never ate with anyone.
He unfolded his lunch. A sad sandwich that looked like it had been sitting there for hours. Stale bread. A slice of wilted lettuce. A tiny piece of cheese.
It tasted like cardboard. He didn't care. It was food.
As he chewed, his eyes wandered to the crowd, wondering what it would be like to have people talk to him. To have someone sit next to him and ask him how his day was.
But that wasn't going to happen.
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1:15 PM – The Hallway
Choi walked to his next class, the hallway filled with the sounds of lockers slamming, feet dragging, and whispers. The whispers were always there. Choi tried not to listen, but it was impossible.
Jin Taehoon and his gang passed by. This time, they didn't say anything directly, but their laughter was enough. Choi flinched as they brushed past him, their shoulders knocking his, intentionally.
Jin Taehoon (mocking):
"Watch where you're walking, Choi. Don't want you to trip over your own feet."
Choi didn't respond. He couldn't. Every word that came from his mouth would just be another reason for them to hurt him.
---
2:00 PM – History Class
The teacher droned on, talking about the rise and fall of ancient civilizations. Choi barely heard any of it. His mind wandered, lost in the noise of the world outside.
Jin Taehoon had already started throwing paper balls at him.
Do Kwan:
"Hey, Choi. You gonna cry today? Or just sit there and let us have some fun?"
It hit his head. A paper ball. The same as it always was.
Yoon Byungsoo (laughing):
"Look at him. He doesn't even defend himself. What a joke."
Choi clenched his fists under the desk. His heart was pounding. Why did it always feel like this? Why did he always have to be the target?
He wanted to scream. He wanted to throw a punch back. He wanted to hurt them the way they hurt him. But he didn't. Because he knew what would happen.
Nothing.
Nothing ever changed.
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3:30 PM – The End of the Day
The final bell rang. Everyone rushed out of the classroom, eager to escape the prison of their school day.
Choi stood up slowly, gathering his things. His head was heavy, his body sore. Every step felt like a battle.
As he walked toward the exit, he heard the sound of footsteps behind him. Heavy footsteps.
Jin Taehoon (smirking):
"Where do you think you're going, Choi?"
Choi turned around slowly, his eyes meeting Jin's.
Jin Taehoon:
"You've been a good little punching bag today. But now… we need to have a little chat. Outside."
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3:45 PM – Behind the School
Choi was thrown against the wall near the bike shed. His body slammed into it with a sickening thud.
Jin Taehoon:
"You think you can just walk around like you're invisible? Nah. I'm tired of you acting like you don't care."
He punched Choi in the stomach, hard. Choi gasped for air, crumpling slightly.
Do Kwan:
"You don't get to walk away from this, Choi."
They continued to kick him, punch him, knock him down until he was barely conscious. He didn't even fight back. There was no point.
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4:00 PM – Choi's Home
Choi dragged himself home, bloodied and broken. He stood at the door for a moment, staring at the keyhole.
When he opened the door, the emptiness greeted him.
He wasn't surprised. It was always like this.
He didn't know where his parents had gone. They died when he was too young to understand. He'd spent years in this apartment alone, eating whatever he could find, going through the motions of life like a ghost.
He collapsed on the floor in front of the photo frame.
His parents were gone. His life was a mess. He didn't know why he was still alive. But he knew one thing.
No one cared.
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5:00 PM – Reflection
Choi lay in the silence of his room, staring at the cracked ceiling. His body ached, but his mind was worse. It always was.
He thought about the past. How things had gotten worse every year. How the bullying had started small—people calling him names, making fun of him for his looks. But then it escalated. Punches. Kicks. Shoving him into lockers. Calling him worthless.
It all added up.
He had once been a normal kid. Or so he thought. But now, he was just broken.
And in the quiet darkness of his room, he heard the voice he had been avoiding all day.
His own voice.
Choi (whispering to himself):
"Why do I still try? What's the point?"
The words were like poison. He hated hearing them. But they were true. There was nothing left for him.
But somewhere, deep inside, something was still fighting. It wasn't much. But it was something.
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To be continued…