It felt like the world had hit pause on everything else—and just decided to revolve around me and Zani. Like the sun was on our payroll. Like the clouds waited for her okay. Every day was what she called an "adventure," and honestly? She made even breathing feel like a plot twist.
School was out for summer break, and we had only managed to tick off a few of the items from our Cloud Boy + Glitter Gremlin To-Die List:
Wear pajamas in public and pretend we're lost time travelers.
Scream "WE WERE ON A BREAK" in the middle of a Starbucks.
Try to teach Shin how to twerk (Zani gave me a C+).
Write fake breakup letters and leave them in library books.
Have a dramatic fake fight at the grocery store over the last box of cereal.
Cry at the zoo because the turtles "look like tired old souls."
We were sitting in the park that day, behind a tree like it was our secret hideout. The sun was out, gentle but golden, and everything looked soft—like the world had been filtered just for her.
Manga volumes were stacked beside us, half-eaten snacks scattered like casualties of war. Zani had a burrito the size of her face stuffed in her mouth, and she absolutely had zero eating manners. It was kind of impressive.
Then, as if it were the most normal thing in the world, she wiped her sauce-stained fingers on my jeans.
"Are you—did you—what—" I blinked, outraged.
"I love you too, Shin-chan," she said with a full mouth, then laughed like a gremlin princess. "Hold up."
She started digging in her tote bag like it was a bottomless pit. Out came a tiny lilac box. She opened it with the same level of drama as someone revealing ancient treasure.
Inside were two silver bracelets.
My heart did something unapproved. Like skipped. Or crashed. Or panicked.
"Wait, what—what's this?" I asked.
"Hold out your hand, fool," she said, rolling her eyes like I was the ridiculous one. Then she grabbed my wrist and slipped one of the bracelets on—right over the burrito stain.
It was simple, silver, but engraved with one word:
Zani.
I stared at it. My brain couldn't compute. My stomach was in knots. My heart was doing math problems.
She handed me the other bracelet, turned her wrist toward me, and said, "Come on, I'm not gonna beg. Put it on."
I slid the second bracelet over her wrist.
It read: Shin.
She wiggled her fingers like she'd just been crowned.
"Okay," I said quietly, trying to breathe like a normal person, "What's this for?"
She rolled her eyes, tossing the burrito wrapper at me.
"Isn't it obvious, dummy? It's a friendship bracelet," she said, like I was the last person on Earth to figure that out. "And you—Shin 'Cloud Boy' whatever-your-last-name-is—are privileged to wear this. These are limited edition. One-of-a-kind. You think I give my name to just anyone? Please."
I laughed, low and breathy, trying to blink away the sudden sting in my eyes.
Because yeah, she was joking.
But something about that moment felt so real. So final.
Like the universe just sighed and said: Yeah. This one's going to hurt.
She grinned at me, her fingers brushing mine. "Don't lose it, okay?"
"I won't," I said.
Not the bracelet.
Not her.
Not a single second of this.
Zani was rambling again—something about a squirrel, a dream, and accidentally texting her aunt lyrics from a breakup song. Normally, I'd be all in, nodding at the right beats, throwing in sarcastic comments.
But right then, I was miles away.
My body was beside her, but my mind was... spiraling. Drowning in the weight of everything she was—loud, ridiculous, soft in the strangest places. And somehow, she had buried herself under my skin without asking.
Was she doing it on purpose?
Did she know how many of her words I memorized just by accident?
All these silly, chaotic things—were they just Zani being Zani… or were they clues?
Could she love me?
God, what was happening to me?
"And then I jumped and screamed because it looked like a pigeon with a knife but—" she stopped mid-sentence, blinking at me.
I didn't even realize I was staring.
"What?" she said, laughing like glitter. "You're staring, bip bop." She booped my nose.
I blinked. "Well… you've got a lot of crumbs on your face," I said dryly.
She gasped like I'd just insulted her royal lineage.
"SHINNNNN! Why didn't you tell me?!" she wailed, scrambling to her feet. "We're over. OVER. I'm never speaking to you again!"
Then she ran.
Like, full-on, glitter-gremlin sprint.
I sat there stunned for a second. Was she serious?
"Zani!" I called, getting up. "Zani, I'm sorry—Your Royal Crumb Highness!"
She didn't stop.
I jogged after her, weaving between benches and startled picnickers.
"Zani, doko ni iru no?!" I yelled instinctively, the Japanese slipping out of me in desperation. "Zani, doko da yo?"
(Zani, where are you?!)
And then I heard it.
Her laughter.
Followed by a BAM.
Before I could register it, she'd slammed into me in a hug so forceful it knocked me to the ground. We landed in the grass, the sky spinning above me, and she—
She was on top of me.
There was a full three-second delay before my brain screamed something hormonal and I started trying (very poorly) to push her off.
"Nope," she muttered, shaking her head like a stubborn cat. "I'm comfy."
"Zani—people are watching—"
"Let them," she said. Then she buried her face in my hair and sniffed.
"I swear to God, Shin… I love your sad boy smell." She giggled and squished my cheeks like I was a toy she owned.
And somehow…
I didn't care that people were staring. I didn't care about the grass in my shirt or the way my heart felt like it was trying to beat out of my body.
We just… laid there. Her head resting on my chest now, humming some soft tune off-key. My fingers in the grass. The sun warm on our skin. The park fading into the background like we were in a movie and someone pressed mute.
"I hate when you look at me like that," she said suddenly.
"Like what?"
"Like you see the end of the movie already."
I didn't say anything. I just closed my eyes.
Because maybe I did.
Maybe I was already grieving something that hadn't ended yet.