"These are the medical records from Hearthgrove Hollow that you requested, Your Grace."
I look up just as one of the scribes set the box down right on the last empty space of my desk, in the library.
"Thank you, Sir John," I said, rising from my seat to help the elderly man pushing the box deeper onto my desk.
"You should've asked one of the younger scribes to carry these for you," I said, just as he moved back, keeping his head bowed. He's dressed in the simple brown robes of the Order of the Scribes, looking far too old to be carrying a box full of scrolls.
He flashes me a gentle smile, adjusting his glasses.
"It's not a big deal, Your Grace, I'm used to carrying heavier books," he replied, his voice gruff and gentle, like a wise grandfather.
"No, Sir John, next time please, I insist, just ask someone else to carry these for you," I said, "I wouldn't mind."
"If you say so, Your Grace," he replied, his head bowed as he smiled.
His back was already curved from a lifetime spent hunched over scrolls and manuscripts, his hands worn from years of turning delicate pages.
Sir John was one of the oldest keepers of the library, so if there was anything worth finding, he was the one who knew exactly where things were.
"If I may, Your Grace," he began, his voice soft, "I would suggest continuing your research on the fallen House of Ignivar."
Ignivar. The name sounds awfully familiar. I couldn't help but feel a tug in my chest.
Sir John treads closer.
"It was the work you did before your...disappearance, Your Grace," he revealed, moving through my messy desk and pulling a pile of papers beneath a large, leather-bound book on ancient medicinal herbs I have yet to read. "You were already so close to uncovering the truth."
Carefully, I take the papers from his hand, my eyes quickly scanning through the familiar, cursive scrawl. I can't believe I wrote this. This version of me from the past.
"I'll leave you to it, Your Grace," he said, bowing his head once more before ducking away and leaving me alone in my space.
Written in black ink, it says:
The Rise and Fall of the Ancient House of Ignivar: What I've Found So Far.
Why would I be researching about this? There's no way I wrote this. This is nearly a hundred pages thick. It feels like I'm reading a stranger's work.
Taking a deep breath to calm my erratic heart, I turn the page.
House of Ignivar:
An ancient and noble lineage, founded in the earliest days of the realm. It was established by the First King of House Dragomir, as a tribute to his closest companion and most trusted ally, Barnabas Ignivar. A warrior of unmatched courage and the only known dragon-tamer of his age, Barnabas played a pivotal role in helping the First King vanquish his enemies and reunite the fractured kingdoms, forming the expanding empire we know today.
In recognition of his loyalty and valor, the King granted Barnabas both land and title, founding a house that would become legendary. Barnabas passed down his rare and sacred knowledge of the art of bonding with dragons, to his sons and they to their heirs, preserving a tradition unmatched in all the land.
Renowned for their unparalleled gift in taming and bonding with dragons, the Ignivar bloodline forged a sacred connection with the great beasts, one that no other families could rival. For centuries, they stood as the kingdom's foremost dragonlords, their legacy woven into the fabric of legends. Yet power breeds envy, and none coveted their place more than the House of Dragomir.
A bitter rivalry took root, and through shadowed dealings and whispered betrayals, the House of Ignivar was brought to ruin. What was once a house of flame and glory, was extinguished. Though some say the bond between an Ignivar and dragon has not yet been broken.
-'Histories of the Realm' by Elden Quill & Others.
Ignivar. I trace the name with my finger, absentmindedly.
There's something about it that hums beneath the surface of my skin. Like a forgotten melody stirring within my blood. Am I connected to this family somehow? If not, then why would I bother researching about this? It feels like it's always been here, just waiting for me to find.
I tuck the papers back to where Sir John had found them, hidden between the pages of the book about medicinal herbs. Why had I even bothered to hide them in the first place? Was I hiding this from Vesper?
My mind immediately goes back to the hours before, the latest memory that my mind revealed to me. The undeniable pain and sorrow that follows after. As if I was reliving it all again.
Nadine had been there, quietly watching over me when I woke up on one of the sofas in a pink, sunlit sitting room. Vesper was smart in leaving me with her, or I'd most likely claw his eyes out the moment I regained my strength. I never want to feel like that again, if I can help it.
I've been stewing here ever since. Safely hidden and cocooned in a tower surrounded by books. Looking for clues just as to who I might've been, and what are the other things that are possibly still hidden from me.
A flap of wings, followed by a loud thud that vibrated the walls caught my attention. I twist my head to the direction of the balcony, before ultimately deciding to get up and investigate. It might be Vesper, coming here to apologize. Or better yet, grovel.
My husband had built me a private floor within the library, after all, months right after we married, according to Arthur. It's secluded enough for me to work without constant distraction, and yet close enough to the Scribes' Quarters that I could easily keep up with the work they were doing.
I can feel my heart sinking when I only find Vala, sunbathing on the balcony with her wings folded. Her dark red scales glinting against the afternoon sun. And she's looking at me.
Slowly but surely, I approach her. Still barefoot but I don't care. I've taken off my uncomfortable shoes awhile ago, preferring to fold my legs while I read underneath the table.
"Vala..." I called out, hand outstretched.
She raised her head a little, sniffing.
"Did you recognize me?"
She tilt her head to the side, as if saying, 'are you seriously asking me that?'
I pursed my lips immediately, swallowing the fear that's clawing up my throat.
Hands still outstretched, I stand right in front of her. Maybe I'm imagining it, but she actually nudges her snout beneath my palm. As if she wants me to touch her.
"Hey there," I said, finally relaxing as I give her a gentle caress, getting used to the cool feel of her scales on my hands.
"I'm sorry if I don't remember you," I said and she huffed. Like she can't believe I could ever forget her. But her reaction brought a smile to my lips.
I run my hand slowly along to her side, tracing her smooth red scales. She shifts slightly, causing me to pause, but when she lets out a contented hum that vibrates through her body, I relax and continue on my journey. I can't help but feel my lips spread wider at the feel of the warm, soothing rhythm of her breathing against the coolness of her scales, from spending most of her days gliding through the skies.
What I would give to have such freedom.
"Beautiful, isn't she?"
I twist around to find Vesper standing there, right on the entrance. Vala let out a low growl, causing me to draw my hands back wondering if I had somehow irked her.
Vesper stay rooted in his position, with his hands clasped behind his back without fear. Though I caught a glimpse of concern through his expression before he hardened it away.
"Vala, it's me," he said, and she relaxed once more, resting her chin on top of her paws and closing her eyes.
That's a strange reaction.
I didn't get to dwell on it long when he walks over to me, now that Vala's relaxed. I suddenly want to wake her up and tell her to breathe fire on this man, but I didn't. I want to see what he's going to say, first. I wasn't kidding when I said I'm turning on a new leaf.
"Why are you here?" I asked, once he's within earshot.
The winds blow harsh around here since we're so high up. It takes a lot more effort to hear one another.
"I was looking for my dragon," he said, gesturing the majestic creature. "Seems like she found you instead."
I nod, choosing to remain silent, my eyes drifting back to her red scales.
"Are you done being mad at me?"
I twist back to my husband. So-called, husband.
"Who says I'm mad?" I retorted nonchalantly, focusing back on rubbing soothing circles on her scales. She hums in approval, and my chest expanded at the sound.
"The fact that you're blatantly ignoring me right now," he said.
"Leave me alone, Vesper."
"I was going to," he said, not even trying to hide the frustration in his voice. "But you're practically stealing my dragon."
"I'm not stealing anything," I snapped, whipping around to face the audacity of this man. "She came to me."
"You're supposed to let me believe that she came to you, when I was the one who summoned her?"
"How the hell would I know how to summon her?"
If he wasn't looking so handsome in his black leather riding jacket and his white shirt underneath with his dark boots, I would've done worse things to him than arguing, just for accusing me of something so ridiculous. How did we even stay married, if we fight all the time?
He stalked closer and grabbed me by my neck, pulling me close against him.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" he growled.
"What the hell is wrong with me?" I snapped, shoving him, hard.
He stumbled back, surprise flashing across his face, but the fire in his eyes was unmistakable now.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I shouted. "You're supposed to be the one apologizing!"
"And why the hell should I apologize?"
"Because you were wrong!"
"What was I wrong about?"
"Every fucking thing!"
We both turned to look at Vala, blissfully napping. As if this is something normal to her. We must've done this a lot in the past.
"Tell me then," he challenged, evidently frustrated. "Tell me what I'm wrong about. Spell it out to me, dear wife. One by fucking one."
"For one," I breathed, my voice trembling with something between disbelief and rage, "you tried to send me away."
"To protect you," he cut in, frustrated. "At least until you gain your memories back-"
"Lies." The words cracked from me like a slap.
He flinched, but I kept going.
"Two, you left me that night, when that bitch tried to seduce you," I said, my voice low now, dangerous. "You didn't even bother to find me, to see if I'm okay before you left."
We're standing nose to nose now, breathless, trembling with everything unsaid.
"You ran," he whispered, harsh. As if that could undo any of it, but it's not enough.
I laughed, sharp. Bitter. "You made me run."
"So what's the third?" he challenged, his dark eyes flaring with heat, flicking between my lips then back up my eyes. Like a predator sizing up his prey.
"You brought her here without telling me who she is."
"I did, Iris, eventually, didn't I?" he said quietly. "You knew her, you knew who she was to me before you lost your memories."
I couldn't take it anymore.
My hand was flying toward his face without thinking, only for him to catch my wrist mid-air, his grip hot and tight, like iron shackles. I try to wrench it away but he only grab my other wrist, practically dragging me across the balcony.
If this was how he treated me in the past, it's no wonder I ran and never looked back.
"Let me go, Vesper!" I spat.
He did, before shoving me against the wall on the balcony.
Air knocked out of my lungs. I gasped the moment my back slammed on the cold, hard wall. He even had the audacity to look momentarily concerned, before it vanished, replaced by the hard expression I've grown used to. The look of a seasoned warrior assessing his enemy before battle.
"You're different," he said, a sharp breath catching his throat.
"Fuck you!" I spat back out.
Like shackles, he dragged my wrists upward, pinning them above my head, pressing them tight against the wall. He leans in, close enough that his face hovered just above inches from mine, but far enough still for wind to pass through between our bodies.
He's sniffing me, I can feel it. Light, but it's there and I refused to look at him, turning my head away even though I could feel the heat of his breath against my cheek.
"You clearly don't remember the whole thing, did you?"
I stayed silent, eyes shut. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing my fear. He's had enough.
"Seems like you've been disobedient before you disappeared, as well," he mused.
Confused, I turn back up to meet his eyes. What is he talking about?
"What are you doing researching about the House of Ignivar?"