🎙️ Issei, fixing his OmniSync and casually turning to the Plumber Council:
"You wanna know why I made this watch?""To make sure I never forget a single moment with my wives. Let me tell you about them—"
💘 Issei's Wife Lore Dump of Doom™ (And Ben Just Has to Stand There and Take It) 🔥 Rias Gremory
Birthday: April 9
Favorite Milkshake: Strawberry with white chocolate drizzle
"She was my first. She didn't just take my heart—she resurrected me with hers. She's the queen of my chessboard and my life."
⚡ Akeno Himejima
Birthday: July 21
Favorite Milkshake: Black sesame and honey
"Thunder and tenderness in the same body. She loves shocking others… but she melts when I bring her midnight tea."
🌸 Asia Argento
Birthday: April 4
Favorite Milkshake: Vanilla almond
"My angel. She once prayed for me… now I fight for her peace. Even if I turned into a monster, she'd love me still."
🐾 Koneko Toujou
Birthday: February 14
Favorite Milkshake: Cookies and cream
"She acts cold, but I know how to warm her. She loves sitting in my lap and pretending she doesn't."
🗡️ Xenovia Quarta
Birthday: September 22
Favorite Milkshake: Blueberry protein
"Straightforward to the point of chaos. Said 'let's make babies' before our first date. I respect the grind."
👼 Irina Shidou
Birthday: May 23
Favorite Milkshake: Angel peach with whipped cream
"She still believes in God, but she believes in me more. That's loyalty."
🛡️ Rossweisse
Birthday: June 13
Favorite Milkshake: Mint matcha
"A warrior and a scholar. I gave her love when she thought she was unworthy. She gave me Excel sheets of affection."
🔥 Ravel Phenex
Birthday: October 10
Favorite Milkshake: Rose lychee
"She burns with elegance. The youngest highborn to marry a 'commoner'—and she's proud of it."
🧙 Le Fay Pendragon
Birthday: November 3
Favorite Milkshake: Earl Grey caramel
"She taught me magic I never understood… and then taught me what it meant to be treasured."
🦇 Elmenhilde Karnstein
Birthday: December 6
Favorite Milkshake: Blood orange dark chocolate
"A vampire aristocrat who learned to trust a perverted dragon. Her bite still leaves marks. I like that."
🌊 Ingvild Leviathan
Birthday: March 15
Favorite Milkshake: Sea salt vanilla with blue raspberry
"A siren who sang alone for centuries. Now she sings lullabies to our daughter. I sing harmony.
Oh Gwen walked right into that one.She asked a simple question, expecting a normal answer—and Issei, the multiversal dragon-husband, just Goku'd the room.
🎙️ Gwen, curious but cautious:
"So… when's your birthday, Issei?"
🐉 Issei, cool as ever:
"April 16th, 2000."
"Same day as Son Goku."
😳 Gwen.exe has stopped working. 📢 The Room: Ben:
"Wait, seriously? Goku?? The Goku??"
Kevin:
"You mean the guy who solos most of fiction on his off days?"
Rook:
"This… explains so much.
Gwen (processing):
"So not only do you have god-tier powers, eleven wives, and multiversal awareness…but you also share a birthday with the most iconic shōnen hero ever?"
Issei, smirking:
"I don't train like him… but I love like I mean it."
Ben (muttering):
"Great. My birthday is in December. With people like… uh… Deadpool."
Kevin:
"Hey, I'd take that. At least he has drip."
Kevin, squinting like he's just discovered a conspiracy:
"Wait a sec… 2000, huh?"
"That's the Year of the Dragon…In both the Chinese and Japanese zodiacs."
🐉 The Room Goes Silent. Gwen:
"You're kidding."
Ben:
"...Nope. Makes sense.Of course it'd be the freaking Year of the Dragon."
🎙️ Issei, smirking with zero intention of denying it:
"I was literally born for this."
"Dragon by birth.Devil by fate.Husband by choice."
Gwen, whispering:
"He was destined for all of this…"
😤 Kevin, crossing his arms:
"Man, if I was born in the Year of the Dragon, maybe I'd have, like, five wives and a cosmic watch too."
Issei:
"You'd still need the charm, Kevin."
Ben:
"AND the emotional intelligence. Let's not forget that part."