Sombat rushed around frantically, preparing everything before the team would depart for Krabi to begin filming the soft drink commercial featuring Bank Nitinai, the famous singer, as their model.
He hadn't been able to reach Anupap since last night, but judging from Atid's condition, he knew this wasn't a trivial matter. With Atikom involved too, not to mention Trin as well. When he questioned Pojanee, she knew nothing because she had only witnessed the moment when Trin suddenly intervened to prevent Atikom from punching Atid, then turned and hurried back after him.
Sombat searched through necessary documents in Anupap's office, but startled when he looked up to see Trin standing motionless against the doorframe, wearing that familiar stone-faced expression.
"If you need any help, Khun Bud, just call me. If it gets really bad, I'll fly there myself."
"Thank you, Khun Trin. I can manage. Perhaps Nu will follow later. Right now I still can't reach him. Bud is worried, afraid that Nu might..."
"You're close to Khun Nu, Khun Bud. You should know what kind of person he is. No need to worry. He wouldn't go as far as suicide."
Sombat's anxiety had made him forget that fundamental truth. He suddenly felt embarrassed about his own past behavior in that regard.
Khun Trin making dark jokes—painfully dark ones.
"Khun Trin is teasing me, aren't you?"
"Not at all. I wasn't even thinking about that." Trin smiled faintly.
Sombat's eyes widened in shock. He had never seen Trin smile in his entire life. "I was just speaking my thoughts at this moment, at this time."
The young boss stepped closer.
"You're incredibly strong, Khun Bud. Do you realize how you managed to get through that period? Even with just a few close friends to comfort you. Khun Nu has countless people who love him—you, me, Pojanee, Mark, Atid, and another person who loves him deeply." Trin's voice trailed off momentarily. "What happened to him isn't as severe as what you went through. So, he will be fine. No need to worry." Trin's voice remained calm and composed, but Sombat caught the dim flicker in his eyes.
Sombat nodded slowly, smiling faintly. He had never expected to hear Trin speak at such length about anything other than work. They had worked together for so long—the only times Trin spoke extensively was when he was upset. But now, Trin seemed gentle when speaking about Anupap.
"I'm not as worried about Nu as about Atid, Khun Trin. I can't reach him at all."
"Don't worry. Go work with peace of mind. I'll keep an eye on Atid myself. He won't go as far as needing to be carried to the hospital for suicide."
"Khun Trin..." Sombat sighed. When Trin decided to be sarcastic, he certainly excelled at it.
Sombat had to admit that Trin was a good person, despite being somewhat stern. The younger boss was warm-hearted, serious, and devoted. Deep down, Sombat sometimes wished Anupap would fall in love with Trin—someone who could truly take care of him. But since Anupap loved Atikom, there was no point in hoping for change.
The human heart was incredibly complex.
Sometimes things just happened in ways beyond our control, even though deep down he worried about his dear younger friend who would face many more challenges ahead. Atikom's past was far from settled—any day now, someone might emerge like Asanai. Who knows, they might encounter something even more serious. How could Anupap possibly fight and cope with such people?
"Please take care of Khun Nu, Khun Bud." Trin spoke softly but clearly, then turned and walked straight to the door.
"Khun Nu is at The Cliff Hotel." Trin informed him without turning back.
Sombat set down the documents, looking up at Trin's retreating figure with amazement, then murmured to himself softly.
"How do you know..."
Sombat couldn't help but think that his previous jokes about Trin having pineapple ears and eyes* might actually be true. [*pineapple ears and eyes is Thai idiom, meaning 'know everything']
***
Pojanee burst into the room breathlessly. Sombat, who was packing files into his bag, jumped at the sudden intrusion.
"P'Bud!"
"Oh my goodness, you nearly gave me a heart attack. Poj, you're going to kill me with shock."
"I'm just excited—urgent news!" Pojanee gasped for breath. Whenever there was urgent news, she would always come running breathlessly to deliver it immediately for speed's sake, but by the time she could speak coherently, so much time was wasted that it became quite frustrating.
"It's about P'Nu..."
Sombat stood with hands on his hips, squinting as he waited for the young woman to catch her breath fully.
"Should I lie down and wait? Wait until you can breathe properly before I find out what's going on. Next time, don't run—just walk. By the time I know what's what, it'll probably be the same as if you'd run to tell me."
"P'Nu is here!"
"You crazy girl! Then why didn't you tell me right away!" Sombat rushed out of the room.
"I was about to tell you!"
Sombat raised his hand to his temple. Day by day, Pojanee was becoming more irritating until he could barely stand it. Such a tiny piece of information took forever to convey.
Anupap walked in and stopped to chat with Mark, carrying a large dark brown Adidas bag that Sombat had given him as a New Year's gift.
"Nu, you're here? Oh, what a relief. I was worried sick about you."
"Worried about P'Nu, or worried about yourself, P'Bud? I heard you complaining that if P'Nu didn't come, you'd be in trouble." Mark teased.
"Shut up, Mark. Wait a minute. Go finish preparing everything so we can leave on time. Be careful—when we get to Krabi, I might make you share a room with me."
"Oh no, dream on, sis." Mark mocked, then quickly disappeared because Sombat reached for the paperweight on the desk.
"I can sleep with you if needed," Pojanee offered.
"No need. I want to sleep in a single room."
Anupap smiled broadly, but still looked tired and weary, with dark circles under his eyes as if he had barely slept all night.
The burden of work responsibilities and being among fun-loving colleagues made it impossible for him to abandon everyone to deal with the chaos of this important commercial project alone. He thought it was for the best anyway—focusing intensely on work would help him forget his troubles somewhat.
"I'm glad you came, Nu. Don't believe what Mark says—he's just being annoying. But it's true, I've been stressed about having to handle everything without you. But if you want to rest, I don't mind. You don't have to go."
"At this point, I can't abandon it, P'Bud. It might actually be good—being busy with work and going somewhere far away might make me feel better."
"Yeah, I agree. But you look exhausted, like you didn't sleep. Want to take a flight? I can have them book it for you. You can follow in the morning."
"P'Bud, I've already packed my bag and brought it this far. I'm going with everyone. I'll sleep in the van."
"You'll probably get to sleep. That Poj has been chattering nonstop since she became single. It's like some spirit came and made her mouth even wider. She was already talkative before, now it's worse than ever. Mark, Anek, Tong—you know that even with earplugs, we can't escape it. Good thing Tommy isn't coming with us, otherwise Nu, we could drive back and forth to Krabi two or three times and they'd still be arguing."
The two young men laughed—the old times were back again. Why hadn't he realized how chaotic it would be to sit together in one van for such a long distance? The young man could only console himself—at least this way, he wouldn't have to think about Atikom and feel heartbroken.
"P'Bud, don't tell the Dectective where we're going. Tell the others too."
Sombat was about to step back to his desk. "Really? Are you afraid he'll follow?"
Anupap nodded.
"Nu, you can't escape. I think the Detective will follow to make up with you no matter what. And hiding like this probably won't work. He's a police officer. Even if you killed someone and chopped up the body into pieces, he'd track you down and catch you. How could you possibly escape?"
"P'Bud, don't make such frightening comparisons. Fine, just don't tell him."
If he really wants to follow and make up, let him try to figure it out himself. I'll make this difficult for him as a lesson.
But will he really follow to make up with me when he already has Asanai?
Anupap shook his head, trying not to let the 'voices' in his head argue. Right now he needed to focus on work and the fact that he would have to talk with Trin. Once Trin knew he had come to work, he would know soon enough and send someone to summon him to his office, or perhaps Trin already knew.
Anupap walked toward the office, unable to help glancing at the ceiling. Sometimes he jokingly wondered if Trin had secretly installed CCTV cameras to spy on employee behavior in the company, because no matter what happened, he knew everything.
Last night he had pondered everything Trin had said, everything Sombat had said, what Chavis had said, Atid, Asanai, and countless others, both those he knew and didn't know, both from books he'd read and things he'd heard elsewhere. He tried to process it all together to help him deliberate and decide what to do next.
But one sentence echoed in his head more clearly than all the other words—Atikom's voice:
"Khun Nu, I love you. I love only you."
***
Pulsing music, flashing lights, good-looking young men and women dressed fashionably walking about, bright smiles, loud conversations competing with the music being played. The trendy pub looked packed to capacity on this weekend night.
Two handsome men claimed spots at the front of the bar. One sat on a stool with his arm resting on the counter, hand turning a glass of liquor that was more than half empty, eyes staring pensively at the amber liquid. The other stood with his back against the bar counter nearby, both elbows resting casually on the edge, head swaying to the music's rhythm as his eyes followed people passing by.
"Hey Kom, you invited me out for drinks and now you're sitting here silent like this. I think it'd be better to go home and drink there. Why don't you say something? Sitting there like a mute." Tongrob complained, looking around, nodding and greeting people he knew, alternating with sweet smiles at those who caught his eye. If Atikom weren't here, he would have already gone to flirt with someone he fancied long ago.
"Tong, Khun Nu won't answer my calls at all. I've called many times. He won't pick up, won't call back."
"He's sulking. He has to play hard to get a little. Just wait. Go make up with him tomorrow morning."
"I called his office this morning and everyone said they couldn't reach him, that he didn't come to work. When I talked to P'Bud this afternoon, he said they still couldn't find him." Atikom looked gloomy.
Tongrob sighed—his best friend was really smitten.
He turned around and hoisted himself onto the stool next to his partner, patting Atikom's shoulder gently.
"I told you, he's sulking. Trust me, tomorrow he'll answer the phone himself. If your missed calls don't reach two dozen, he won't pick up. Believe me."
"I've called more than that already. I'm afraid Khun Nu might run away somewhere far for a long time. The security guard at the condo said he came back in the afternoon, packed his bags, then called a taxi and left. Knowing this, I should have told Singh to report when he saw Khun Nu return to the condo. I could have rushed to intercept him."
"Yeah, that doesn't look good. You need to make up quickly, can't wait any longer. But tonight you can't do anything anyway. Where would you look for him? Or maybe he went to work—didn't you say he has to go south to film a commercial?"
Atikom remembered—he'd been so worried, he'd completely forgotten about this. He pulled out his phone and dialed Sombat's number again, but the voice on the other end said there was no signal. The young police major was frustrated, almost throwing his phone to the floor.
"Kom, wait until tomorrow morning instead. Let's have fun for now. By the way, do you still want me to continue the mission to conquer that young sunshine boy?"
Tongrob was referring to Atid. He suddenly pictured the young man's handsome, adorable face, his firm, smooth, clean body, especially the part he liked most that was 'sulking' full-force. He told himself that even if Atikom ordered him to cancel the mission, he wouldn't stop his determination to 'capture' the young thief and put him in jail. If he resisted, he'd have to 'shoot' him.
Atikom shook his head. His number one heart enemy had already changed in ranking. Atid, the young man, wasn't the person Anupap loved. The person he was concerned about was Anupap's 'past'—Chavis.
Anupap had been immersed in the past for so long. Chavis was a variable he couldn't trust.
"But I have a new matter for you to help with." Atikom borrowed a pen from the bar staff and wrote down a license plate number and Chavis's name. He had already done preliminary background checks on Chavis—the owner of that black Mercedes that had been lurking by the fence of Anupap's condo the evening he went to see the young man to ask for 'encouragement.'
"Find out everything about this guy—Chavis. Shouldn't be hard to find. I think he owns a leading real estate company."
"Hey, playing hardball. So what? Should I throw him in jail, or just shoot to wound him? You always give me tough missions. Always the same polar of guys to take down. You know it's no joke, right? I might risk getting punched myself."
"Are you afraid you can't handle it? It's just to keep him from interfering with Khun Nu. I'll deal with my old flames first. Can't let them pop up again like Asanai. I'm already getting enough headaches."
Tongrob laughed coldly, feeling sorry for his friend facing tough enemies on multiple fronts.
"So is this Chavis gay or not? If he's not gay, I'm not really in the mood, "especially if he's not a bottom."
Atikom shook his head. Tongrob pursed his lips and said, "Aww, not interesting."
"Making excuses, are we? Afraid you can't handle it?"
"What if it were you—do you think you could handle it? I'd really like to know. You should remember that shooting a marksman of the same caliber isn't easy, my friend."
"Tong, I really need your help. Don't talk so much. I told you, I need to deal with my old flames so they don't pop up and ruin things."
Tongrob nodded in understanding.
"If you're going to deal with old flames, don't forget Kasidis. That one's the worst—crazy and vicious, much more than Asanai."
Atikom shrugged. He wasn't afraid of anyone. Having come this far, he had to deal with everything somehow—all for Anupap alone.
"Oh, and I'm still taking the Atid job. Last time I didn't get to, you know, do that. He was drunk, so I didn't want to take advantage." Tongrob shook his head as the music changed to an exciting beat, scanning around.
"Hey, I'll be back, buddy. I see a suspected drug dealer. Need to go handle it. Looks like a lackey of some drug lord—gay and cute, really intense. Damn."
Tongrob patted Atikom's shoulder and quickly disappeared. Atikom watched him approach a young celebrity who had recently been in scandal news with a director.
Sometimes he wondered when Tongrob would finally meet someone he truly liked and settle down with someone. He admitted that the fun he had enjoyed throughout the past ten-plus years since discovering himself was one kind of happiness, but it couldn't compare at all to the brief happiness he had with Anupap for just a few hours at a time.
It couldn't compare to that one full day and two nights they spent together at the seaside house when he 'kidnapped' the young man for a vacation.
It couldn't compare to the time he pulled that stoic-faced person into an embrace and confessed his love, the time he asked for 'encouragement' from the young man after dining together that night, the first night he got to touch those full, soft, red lips he had been watching for so long.
Atikom paid the bartender and walked out of the pub. Two beautiful women near the entrance looked at him with sparkling eyes. He smiled faintly and walked past them, passing by a good-looking, fashionably dressed young man who had just stepped into the pub. The young man smiled at him as if wanting to get acquainted, but the only image floating prominently before him was that of Anupap with an impassive face whose smile ignited sparks in his heart that nearly melted him.
Anupap, you have such power over me. I can barely stand missing you anymore.
His phone rang. He quickly grabbed it without looking at the screen, hoping deep down that it was the person he was desperately seeking.
"Khun Nu?"
The voice on the line was muffled by the pounding, exciting music. Tongrob shouted loudly, "It's not him! You're really smitten. Hey Kom, are you leaving already? I didn't abandon you, pal. Don't go get drunk and pass out somewhere. Go home."
"Yeah." Atikom replied briefly and walked straight to his car.
He didn't dare get drunk and pass out anywhere. Tonight he would go home and sleep while thinking of Anupap, before tomorrow when he would go search for his heart.
***