After the "Paw-Match Priestess" incident (I still get letters from someone's goose), I craved quiet.
Not cute. Not quirky. Not fluffy.
Just stillness.
So I cleared a small patch of land behind the café, planted lavender, arranged a few smooth stones, and added a sign that read:
-- "Reika's Quiet Garden – No Drama, Just Breathing"
Simple. Peaceful. No bonding rituals.
I even left tea and cushions.
First day? Amazing.
Birdsong. Wind. The gentle sound of someone snoring behind the shrubbery.
Second day? Lila showed up in full monk robes.
"Lady Rika," she whispered, holding her hands in a perfectly unnecessary lotus mudra. "May I enter the Realm of Reflection?"
"It's a garden, Lila. Just sit down."
She nodded with reverence and stepped in like she was crossing dimensions.
Then Marius came, bare-footed, with a broomstick.
"What's that for?" I asked.
"My Serenity Staff. For balance."
He stood on one leg and immediately fell into the mint patch.
By sunset, a crowd had gathered outside the garden fence.
They weren't speaking. They were judging.
Each person took turns sitting in the center, performing something I later learned was being called:
"The Stillness Showcase."
They struck poses. They breathed dramatically.
One person meditated while balancing a teacup on their head. Another recited calming haikus while lying on a rock like a majestic moss bard.
"I call this one Sleeping Cloud Over Brooding Volcano," someone murmured while slowly exhaling over a leaf.
What… was happening.
Soon someone brought a chalkboard and started rating participants:
Breathing Depth: 9/10
Eyelid Fluctuation: 7.5
Aura Stillness: Unsettling but impressive
Then came the chants.
Soft, wordless humming.
A "hum off" happened.
They literally had a Hum Duel.
Two villagers sat facing each other, eyes closed, humming in alternate tones until one was declared "spiritually softer." I had to flip a coin. Kuro meowed, and they called it divine judgment.
Next thing I know?
"The Serenity Showdown" is a monthly event.
There are brackets. Robes. Mini awards shaped like peaceful frogs.
People ask me to bless their "focus stones" before competing.
Someone tried to sponsor it and sell calmingo oils called "Breath of Reika."
(I now receive 10% of the profits.)
And me? I just wanted to sit quietly with a cup of tea.
But now?
I am:
1.The Whispering Judge of the Gentle Grove
2.The Equilibrium Icon
3.Supreme Arbiter of Inner Peacefulness & Seasonal Stillness Performance Evaluations
Do I get to relax?
Only if I beat Marius in the semifinals.
(The man can breathe like a waterfall.)
Kuro naps through it all in a sunbeam, tail twitching in judgment.