After what happened in the bath, Rem helped me get dressed, laid me back on the bed, and left to inform the others that I was awake.
She left me with Ram to look after me in the meantime.
"Leandoor…"
"Ram…"
The reunion with my sister-in-law was quite awkward.
While I tried to regain my strength, she stood before me, arms crossed, with an expression that was hard to read.
Something told me she knew what I did in the bath with her sister. Perhaps it was intuition, her clairvoyant connection, or simply because it was blazingly obvious.
"Pervert."
"I missed you too."
Ram sighed, but there was no venom in her tongue or contempt in her eyes, unlike before.
She was still wearing her hair long; it looked good on her.
"Honestly, you're hopeless. I can't believe doing that is the first thing that crosses your mind after coming back to life."
"A man who was dead would naturally want to do something to feel alive again, don't you think?"
"Tch, pervert logic. Besides, you can't even stand on your own two feet. Rem undoubtedly did all the work for you."
"Not entirely. Want to hear the details?"
I suggested with a mischievous grin.
Ram glared at me.
"No. What I want to know is why your soul went wandering off and took so long to return."
"Well… the truth is, I don't remember."
I answered truthfully.
"Are you serious?"
"Completely."
As far as I could recall, nothing happened between my death and my resurrection. It felt like an instantaneous process.
Yet my soul had been outside my body for a long time. Perhaps I had forgotten something important.
Even so, my current worries centered on the loss of my powers. I needed to know whether they were still there but blocked, or if they had truly disappeared.
"Hey."
Ram poked my arm with her finger.
"What?"
"Don't you dare put on that 'I hate my life' face after doing dirty things with my little sister. You should be smiling like an idiot."
"You're totally right…"
"Then why do you have such a pathetic expression?"
Normally, I wouldn't have answered that question. Showing vulnerability in front of others would only hurt my pride.
With Ram, however, I felt I could speak openly without being judged, but above all, I knew she could understand.
"Because I don't want to feel weak. I don't want to be a burden to anyone."
No sooner had I said that than Ram reached out and pinched my cheek.
"Ouch."
"You really are an idiot."
She insulted me in indignation. I rubbed my cheek and looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"That doesn't justify violence."
"After helping Rem with her feelings, after taking care of me when I was dead weight… I can't believe you think of yourself that way."
"What's your point?"
"You don't understand anything!"
She grabbed the collar of my clothes and pulled me up slightly, her face ending up just inches from mine.
"No matter what happens, you will never be a burden! Do you get it?!"
I couldn't answer. A lump formed in my throat.
Ram loosened her grip a bit, her indignation softening into sadness.
"If you get it, don't put on that face ever again… Or I'll hit you."
She lowered her voice and leaned in slightly, brushing her forehead against mine, though she didn't seem to do it consciously.
I finally managed to speak, though my voice was raspy with emotion.
"Thank you, Ram…"
In her own way, she wanted to give me the comfort of knowing I could rely on her help.
"Leandoor, I…"
Suddenly, Ram shook her head and bit her lip tightly. I raised an eyebrow.
"Are you okay?"
She still looked frustrated, staring at me as if she wanted to say something more.
I tried to smile to cheer her up.
"Don't hold back any insults, alright?"
But she just sighed and let go of me.
"You… really don't understand anything."
She turned her gaze away bitterly. I couldn't imagine what was running through her mind.
"In case you haven't noticed, I'm pretty dense sometimes."
Ram didn't answer. She turned toward the door and gave me her back.
Silence stretched on for several seconds. Then, out of nowhere, she spoke.
"Roswaal is alive."
"What?!"
Though shocked, I didn't make the mistake of trying to stand up again.
"Wait… Annerose?"
"No. I saw him, in the underground city. He had his appearance, but his body… it was like fighting a spirit. I'm certain I destroyed his body, but he kept coming back every time."
"Damn it… What happened exactly?"
"He just came to talk trash about you. He said you're not what you seem—that you're worse than him."
That hit surprisingly close to home. Judging from the memories of my Doppelgangers, I spent my other lives treating this world like a game, as if I were in a dream and could do whatever I wanted without consequences.
I fell silent, processing the information. Perhaps Roswaal knew more than I thought, but how? The Gospel couldn't give him that kind of information, could it?
It was either that, or he spoke with someone who possessed knowledge of other timelines. One of the Witches? Aldebaran?
"Leandoor."
Ram's voice pulled me back. Now she was looking at me, her pink eyes practically boring into my head.
"Yeah?"
"I don't care why he said that, or whether it was a lie… or not."
"It should matter to you, Ram."
She crossed her arms.
"Why does it sound like you want to prove him right?"
"I'm not saying he's right. I'm saying you shouldn't blindly trust someone you don't fully know. You already know how that ends."
The reference to the events at the Sanctuary transformed Ram's face, casting a furious edge over her features.
"Idiot!"
Her hand struck my cheek with a crisp slap that echoed through the room. I ignored the pain and maintained eye contact.
She was visibly shaken, her eyes brimming with tears.
It was an understandable reaction. What I said was an insult to the trust she placed in me, an insult to our friendship, to the affection between us.
Yet I said it in an impulse of idiocy. I said it when I actually felt the exact opposite: I wanted her to trust me completely, to hide nothing from me, to be as sincere and devoted as she had been with Roswaal.
At the same time, though, I was terrified of becoming someone else—that upon regaining my memories, I would possess a different personality altogether.
If that happened, I would end up doing the same thing Roswaal did to her, or maybe even worse.
My problem was that I couldn't trust myself. Consequently, the trust of others made me feel guilty and insecure.
"If you didn't want me to trust you… why did you bother changing my life and Rem's?!"
Yeah…
Why?
Why was I trying to play the protagonist? Why was I trying to do 'the right thing'? Why was I pretending to be someone I wasn't? Why did my words contradict my actions?
And above all, why did I make everything so complicated instead of just telling the truth?
"Because I love you."
Somehow, those words made me feel lighter the moment they left my mouth. Even I was a bit surprised when I admitted I loved Ram, but thinking about it logically, it wasn't all that absurd.
I had been living with her for quite a while. We had built a genuine friendship. I cared for her for months while she was catatonic. Last but not least, she was my girlfriend's twin, making it hard to feel indifferent toward her given their physical resemblance.
Besides, my brain had been desperate to forge strong bonds ever since I arrived in this world, as social connections were essential for a human to integrate and feel a sense of belonging. My emotional stability depended on those bonds.
"…"
The shift on Ram's face was instantaneous: hysteria turned into surprise, surprise morphed into anger, and anger ultimately surrendered to anguish, causing Ram to burst into tears.
She wasn't the type of person who cried easily, so she had to feel deeply affected to break down like this. I bit my lip, overwhelmed by guilt.
"I'm sorry…"
"Stupid…"
Ram stepped closer slowly and began pounding her fists against my chest.
"Stupid Leandoor, stupid! Why do you make everything so difficult?!"
I didn't resist her weak punches. Truth be told, I couldn't have stopped her even if I wanted to, so I simply lay still while she vented her feelings.
Finally, Ram let her arms drop and collapsed onto me.
"Feeling calmer now?"
I asked as gently as possible.
"…Stupid."
"I'll take that as a yes."
We lay there together—I stared at the ceiling while she used my chest as a pillow. The situation could easily be misunderstood without proper context.
"You said you love us—Rem and me."
"That's right. Want me to say it again?"
I teased, but she didn't react the way I expected.
"Do you love us both the same way? Or is it a different kind of love for each of us?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"The kind of question you ask a man who is with your sister but claims to love you…"
"I see…"
"And who is also in love with a half-elf."
"Of course…"
"And who turned a middle-aged woman into his slave."
"I get it, Ram."
My head was starting to throb.
Ram looked at me, expecting an answer free of ambiguity or evasiveness.
The least I could do was give her one.
"First off, the thing with Emilia is… a platonic love. She doesn't even understand romantic relationships. As for that woman, Seraphina, it wasn't because I harbor fantasies about having a sex slave. I recruited her because her knowledge and skills can help us."
"Yeah, right."
Ram interrupted, rolling her eyes sarcastically.
I cleared my throat before moving on to what mattered most.
"What I feel for Rem is unique, and I don't think it can compare to anything I've felt before."
I paused.
"I chose her, and she chose me. Without a doubt, she comes first in my heart."
"First? Meaning there are others?"
Once again, Ram wore an unreadable expression.
"I won't lie to you: I like other women. That's unavoidable, no matter how much in love I am. However, I decided to respect Rem."
"Huh. So you're saying you like me, but you won't make a move unless it's okay with my sister? Did I get that right?"
"You got it spot on, though saying it out loud makes me feel guilty."
"You damned womanizing pervert…"
Ram pinched my arm, though her voice didn't sound genuinely angry.
She then sat up on the bed and swung her legs back and forth, staring toward the door.
"You'd better talk to her about this."
"Really?"
"In the long run, it'll only be worse if you hide it."
"Good point."
"She will accept whatever you ask of her if it makes you happy, but don't force it if you see she doesn't like the idea."
"I won't."
"Good."
"…"
We exchanged glances for a few seconds. A faint smile crossed my face, making Ram blush and scowl.
"What?"
"Nothing…"
Suddenly, the atmosphere shifted as rapid, frantic footsteps echoed down the hallway. The voices were unmistakably those of the rest of the faction.
Otto, Garfiel, Petra, Betty…
Emilia.
The bedroom doors burst open. Several figures rushed inside, coming to a dead halt when they saw me sitting up in bed, looking at them with a smile.
"Did you miss me?"
"CAPTAIIIIIIIIIIN!"
Garfiel threw himself at me like an overly energetic puppy. The problem was that the puppy weighed well over sixty kilograms.
"MY FREAKING BACKKKKKKKK!"
I shrieked as Garfiel crushed me in his embrace. Luckily, Otto rushed to my rescue and somehow managed to pull Garfiel off me.
I raised a trembling hand and gave him a thumbs-up.
"Thanks, Scrotto…"
"Is that the first thing you say to me?!"
Next, I was tackled by Petra.
"Leandro! Don't you ever take such a long nap again!"
"A nap, huh? Well, it kinda felt like one."
Off to the side, Frederica greeted me with a polite bow and a wide, sharp-toothed smile.
"I am glad to have you back, Master Leandro."
"Thanks, Frederica. Do you know if Otto cried for me?"
"He did, repeatedly—especially when he drank too much wine."
"Don't tell him that! He'll tease me forever!"
"Don't exaggerate… I'll only tease you for the rest of my life, not forever."
Amidst the banter and laughter, I spotted a tiny golden-haired girl with drills in her hair staring at me with crossed arms and puffed cheeks.
"Betty…"
Without saying a word, she held out her arms and waited.
I leaned down right away and gently lifted her up.
"Sorry I took so long."
"You could have taken me with you to that place, I suppose! That way I could have protected you!"
She probably wouldn't have made much of a difference against Reid Astrea, but now wasn't the time to point that out.
Besides, my mind reeled when I locked eyes with the silver-haired half-elf watching me expectantly.
"Emilia…"
She stepped forward slowly and cupped my face with her hands. Her amethyst eyes grew misty, and her lips curled upward.
"I was so scared you wouldn't come back… But I knew you would. I knew you'd return."
She hugged me tightly, though gently enough not to hurt my body. Holding Betty in one arm while embraced by Emilia, we looked just like a couple with their daughter.
I thought I felt a few sharp gazes burning into the back of my neck, but right then, Echidna crossed the threshold of the room, and all other thoughts vanished from my mind.
I needed answers, and she was the only one who could provide them.