chapter 5 Revenge
"What was the point of the fight? My parents want me to do my best. My Master sees potential, and so does she. The Empress, the rightful ruler of the world, sees me. But what do I see? If I saw what others see in me, what would I think of myself? I don't know, because I don't see myself like they do. I don't, at all. I can't say what I would do if I met a thing just like me out there."
These are my thoughts as I was guided up the tower—thoughts that threaten me. But it will be simple enough to use them. My Master is my guide up the tower.
"It may sound weird, Master, but is power all the Empress wants?"
There is his flash, the one where he blinks, as all he saw was the abyss in my eyes.
"No, she wants peace. What would make you think otherwise?"
"Why would she ever want me, since all I can be is a pool in an ocean? Sure, I am strong, but I am not unmatched."
"You can't see what is and what isn't. Even this city is small in comparison to the world. But even though that is true, the shadow it casts is large. So, like a city, your shadow is larger than you think."
"Hmm, I will learn from this, Master."
Our conversation changed topics many times going up the tower, but eventually we arrived at the top.
"The Lady of this tower wants to meet you alone."
My Master's eyes were cold and old. There was no way he would let me meet her alone unless she called for it specifically. I had no response for my Master but determination. The grand doors of our Lady's cathedral were old. The wood that made them had been patched with wood of many species and metals of many kinds. My Master went to the chain that served as the door handle. He pulled it open just a sliver. Only when I saw the light of that room did my heart know the panic of power beyond strength.
She didn't need a fist when she had a word. My Master knew what was going on in my head.
"Go on, my apprentice; she is waiting for only you."
With bated breath, I entered the chamber, and as I entered the room, I recognized with both honor and horror the being I stood in the presence of. She raised a hand, and I found myself on my knees. Her light threatened me, too bright. But then I felt it. My mind finally came back to me. Then the beat of my light started to breathe. My stone took my light as it always did and gave me a gift far better in return.
I stood up. Then I looked the Empress in the eye. It was dark—a darkness I recognized. They were the same as mine. Her skin was blacker than the void of my dreams. Most wouldn't notice it, though, only facing the ground in her presence.
"Hello, Empress."
A smile was all I got for a long moment.
"Hello, desert daughter."
Even her voice tried to swallow my mind, but I stood tall through it.
"You can stand, but what can you say?"
"You called me. Why?"
"Because I wanted something like you—a breath of fresh air to dust off the relic I keep. My generals can't find a way to end the war, and I think you can."
War? She means THE War. That has existed in one form or another for most of recorded history—the cultural touchstone of this planet. She just wants me to end it. Even with my limited understanding, I know that to do that is to do what even she could not. She wants terrible things from me. But I think I can do it.
"To ask me to do that... Where should I start?"
"You will start with your Master."
Only then did he enter, only when he had permission. His walk was slow; his voice was tender.
"My Lady, is she right for the task?"
"As of now, only as right as any other. Change that, Librarian."
A command from her was piercing. But my Master stood with only a bead of sweat leaving his brow. I dreamed of the oasis of my homeland, as my throat only got drier. My Master looked at me, and he was only sure of what he had to do. The Lady let us leave. My Master and I traversed the tower once again, but no longer would we ascend. Instead, we would fall to the dirty work that lay ahead. Back to the stables of the first floor, we went.
"She wants you to be a General, but as I see it, you will be the greatest steed out of us all. We could only carry her so far. But as the bearer of her chariot, it is only proper for you to stay here."
I didn't argue. The luxury these mounts lived in already amazed me. So I found my place: a bed of hay and a trough of water. The sun had fallen, and the moon did not rise that day, as I sank even deeper into the dark. Back I am in the field. Every time I struggle in this place, I die. I have to try something else this time. I turn and see her: the woman in shambles. She walks to me with the slowness befitting a haggard woman. But now she does not kill me. She pities me. I hate her more, but I resist the urge.
"The one who is burdened by a great and grand purpose fights for a throne you don't understand. She who rules is ruled. He who stands lives too long. A child who follows will damn us all. My bane. I love you and I hate you, just as you do me. Now see. See."
I could not speak to rebut her, and I couldn't move to strike her down. But I felt my body repulse as she touched my mind with her bloody hands. Her embrace infected me. This would kill who I was. I saw it in bits and pieces: the fall of a city, the burning of sand, the death of a man, and the rise of his kin—the flow of blood and the failure of a monster. all of it did not make sense
but what was clear was that It was my fault. I couldn't stop it, but it shouldn't have happend. I can't let it go. If I let this happen, I will be ruined. I will change. I know what I did; I just need to stop it. As I stand here in this phantom place, I look up at this poor, poor woman. My disgust melted away. I understood the thing I saw: the decades into centuries of mistakes that molded, then broke, this woman. The fact that her spirit stands here at all is an honor.
"My bane and my spirit, I forgive you," I say.
Void turned to fullness in the eyes of the old titan.
"Thank you."
A gust pushed through my mind, making it all feel so light.
"Thank you for giving me the gift of an end. And thank you for changing fate."
The sun set in this place, and as one set of eyes closed for the last time, another opened forever changed.