Of course. Here's Chapter 16 of After
---
Chapter 16: The Edge of Silence
Days passed.
Then weeks.
The first few, Julian stayed strong. Composed. He showed up early to the office, dressed perfectly, his smile distant but intact.
But Elliot was different.
Colder. Quieter. Then… gone.
It started with a missed meeting. Then two. Then an entire week with no sign of him.
No calls. No messages. No apologies.
Just absence.
---
By week three, the whispers had started in the office.
"Is he sick?"
"Burnout?"
"Maybe he's on leave?"
But Julian knew better.
That kind of silence wasn't about rest.
It was about despair.
And despite everything Elliot had done — despite the pain and the betrayal — Julian couldn't shake the image of that man's hands in his hair, that voice whispering "safe" into the hollow of his throat.
He couldn't forget the pain in Elliot's eyes before he built the wall again.
So on a Thursday night — long after everyone had left — Julian stood in front of Elliot's apartment, fist trembling before he finally knocked.
No answer.
He knocked again. Harder.
Still nothing.
Heart in his throat, he typed in the door code Elliot had given him months ago — a code he'd never deleted, even when he swore he was done.
The lock clicked.
And what greeted him made Julian's breath leave his body.
---
The lights were off.
Empty wine bottles littered the floor like broken promises. Ashtrays overflowed. Cigarette smoke hung heavy in the air, stale and suffocating.
And Elliot was on the couch, shirt half-buttoned, glassy-eyed, an untouched bottle of wine between his legs, and four others collapsed around him.
His mouth moved. No sound came out.
Julian rushed forward. "Elliot. Elliot—hey. Look at me."
But Elliot didn't move.
Just stared at the ceiling. Haunted. Hollow.
Julian knelt in front of him, fingers trembling as he touched his face. "Jesus Christ. What did you do?"
His pulse was slow. But there.
And then — a whisper.
Barely audible.
"I wasn't going to do it."
Julian froze.
Elliot's eyes slid to his. Red-rimmed. Dull. Shining with tears. "I just… wanted to know if it'd be easier. If the world would be quieter without me screaming in it."
Julian's own breath caught. "Don't say that. Don't you ever say that."
"I ruined everything," Elliot murmured. "You. Us. It's what I do. I push too hard. I punish. And then they leave."
Julian's throat tightened. "I didn't leave because I stopped loving you. I left because you forgot how to love me."
"I didn't forget," Elliot whispered, breaking. "I just… didn't know how to stop being afraid. I thought if I held you tighter, you'd stop slipping through my fingers. I didn't see I was the one letting go."
Silence pressed between them. Thick. Real.
Julian sat beside him, took the wine bottle from his hand, and set it on the floor.
"I hated you for what you did," he said softly. "But I never wanted you to disappear."
He looked at Elliot — really looked — and saw a man shattered under the weight of his own armor.
"Then why are you here?" Elliot asked, voice cracking.
Julian swallowed hard. "Because I still love you. Even if I don't know how to forgive you yet."
Elliot's breath hitched — the first crack in the dam.
Tears spilled silently down his cheeks. "Don't go. Please."
Julian wrapped an arm around him, pulled him close.
"I'm not going anywhere tonight."
---
They sat like that for hours. On the couch, in the dark, surrounded by ruin. Two men not quite whole, but not entirely lost either.
And for the first time in weeks…
The silence felt like healing.