Chapter 17: This Rabbit Is Hopeless!
Xiao Wu blinked her big, adorable eyes, staring intensely at the Blue Silver Emperor in Zu Zong's hand. She didn't say a word for a long time.
Just as Zu Zong was about to speak again, Xiao Wu had already vanished from the bed and appeared directly in front of him.
Even with his Itachi-level taijutsu, Zu Zong was caught off guard by her speed.
Xiao Wu leaned in and sniffed the Blue Silver Emperor in his hand.
"Nom nom! Nom nom!"
She started chomping down on the grass leaves like a bunny at an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Her cheeks puffed up as she chewed. "Your Blue Silver Grass tastes amazing! Way better than my carrots—at least twice as tasty! I've never eaten grass this delicious before. Nom nom!"
"…Tasty?" Black lines appeared on Zu Zong's face. Alright. No doubt about it. She really was a rabbit.
She munched through the entire Blue Silver Emperor in seconds—including the root. At the end, she even licked Zu Zong's palm clean. Only then did she pat her little belly with satisfaction and say, "I'm full now. Thanks for the meal!"
The moment those words left her mouth, Xiao Wu regretted it.
She suddenly realized she'd just done something incredibly shameful. Her face turned pale, then flushed bright red.
Thud! With a speed even faster than before, Xiao Wu leapt back onto Zu Zong's bed, wrapped herself tightly in the folded blanket, leaving only two cute rabbit ears sticking out.
"Get out!" came her shy yet flustered voice from under the covers.
Zu Zong admitted it—he was stunned speechless. "Hey, rabbit. Aren't you lying on my bed… wrapped in my blanket…?"
"Nonsense! I asked Wang Sheng yesterday. He said the strongest person in Dorm Seven gets the best bed. I beat all of them, so this is my bed, my blanket, and mine, mine, mine…" Xiao Wu spoke as she tightened the blanket even more.
Seeing her act so ridiculously stubborn, Zu Zong felt a headache brewing. Should he say she was shameless, or just completely uncivilized?
Zu Zong said, "First of all, that blanket was mine—I brought it. I went out yesterday to get my soul ring, which is why I wasn't here. Second, before you arrived, I was the strongest in Dorm Seven. If you want the title of boss, you'll have to beat me first."
Xiao Wu's exposed bunny ears twitched and crossed, as if pondering his words.
After a while, she poked her head out, cheeks still flushed. "Really?"
Zu Zong nodded. "Really."
"Really really?"
"Really really."
"Really really really?"
"Stop! One more time and I'll faint. Let me say it again clearly—this is my bed and my blanket!" Zu Zong raised his hand in a timeout gesture. If this kept going, he was going to get mentally looped into oblivion.
"Hmph! I-I don't believe you! You must be lying. Wang Sheng and the others never even mentioned you! And a blanket that smells this nice couldn't possibly be yours!"
As she finished, Xiao Wu dove back under the blanket and took a long, greedy whiff of that "fragrance."
Zu Zong's mouth twitched. His blanket smelled nice? He never noticed. Then again, the Blue Silver Emperor's tender shoots probably gave off a scent that was irresistibly appealing to a herbivore like her.
Zu Zong said, "Think carefully. Doesn't this blanket's scent smell a lot like my martial soul—the one you just ate?"
As he spoke, Zu Zong summoned another Blue Silver Emperor shoot in his hand, this one even fresher than the last.
Rabbits had excellent noses, especially when it came to delicious food.
Gulp.
The sound of someone swallowing came from under the covers.
Xiao Wu was clearly drooling again, but she still refused to give in. "No! I'm not coming out. If it's the boss's bed, then the blanket is mine too…"
Seeing that Xiao Wu was still holding out, Zu Zong brought the Blue Silver Emperor closer to the blanket. The tender scent of the shoot slipped through the gaps between the blanket and the sheets, right into Xiao Wu's nose—then straight to her brain.
"Ahhh! I can't hold it anymore!" Xiao Wu threw off the blanket and leapt up, chomping straight toward the Blue Silver Emperor in Zu Zong's hand.
Zu Zong wasn't about to let her get her way. He jumped backward, causing her to pounce at nothing but air. Xiao Wu chased after him relentlessly. Zu Zong raised his right hand high, while Xiao Wu kept jumping to snatch it—but he was half a head taller than her. No matter how she jumped, she just couldn't reach.
"Give it to me!"
"Nope. That's what you get for hogging this emperor's dragon bed earlier."
"Give it!"
"Nope!"
After a full cup of tea's time, Xiao Wu finally squatted on the floor, panting as she gnawed on a Blue Silver Emperor shoot. Zu Zong had gotten tired of messing around with her.
Casually tossing the tender shoot aside, Zu Zong watched as Xiao Wu immediately pounced like a starving dog, catching it mid-air and settling down on the floor to eat.
Seeing the opportunity, Zu Zong flashed back and sprawled onto his bed.
"Ahhh! My own bed really is the best!"
In no time, Xiao Wu had finished devouring the shoot. Spotting Zu Zong stretched out on the bed like a lazy prince, her fur practically stood on end. No—her ears did.
"You get off that bed!" she shouted, tugging hard on his arm, trying to pull him off.
But you can wake up a sleeping man—not one who's faking it.
Zu Zong had already used soul power to stick himself to the bed. No matter how much Xiao Wu tugged, he didn't budge.
"Go play somewhere else. This is my bed. Why should I be the one to leave?"
"But you're sleeping here, and I won't have a blanket tonight. I'll freeze!" Xiao Wu blinked her big, tear-filled eyes, putting on a pitiful look.
Even Zu Zong was momentarily stunned. This damn hundred-thousand-year legal loli—older than the entire recorded history of Huaxia—daring to act cute in front of me?
Uncle could endure it, but auntie definitely couldn't.
"That's not my problem. Go find somewhere else to sleep. If it's that bad, go take Wang Sheng's blanket. Let him squeeze in with someone else!"
Wang Sheng (crying): "You really are my boss…"
Hearing that Zu Zong still wouldn't move, Xiao Wu clenched her teeth. "If you don't get up, I'll just climb in!"
"Do whatever you want. Not like I'm the one losing anything." Heh. Me? A world-traveling veteran from Blue Star, scared of a ten-thousand-year-old rabbit in a little girl's body?
Flop—Xiao Wu dropped herself right onto the bed, head resting under Zu Zong's armpit, the only spot left.
Zu Zong was startled and instantly sprang up like a spring, flipping off the bed with a back handspring. He didn't even bother putting on his shoes.
This damn rabbit really would sleep with whoever was closest! In the original story, it was Tang San. But since Tang San got punked by me and is now living with his scumbag teacher, it's my turn now?!
But Zu Zong wasn't just anyone. He was a proud, pure-hearted young man—two lifetimes of untouched innocence. No way was he going to have his dignity ruined by a rabbit older than his great-great-great-grandpa!
Qin Yu (from Stellar Transformations): "Sorry, guys… I married a wife who's a few hundred million years older than me."
Zu Zong shouted, "You—you call yourself a 'little girl'—have you no shame?!"
Xiao Wu, face completely red, blushed all the way to her ears. But at this point, she simply threw all shame aside.
"Hmph! Being embarrassed is better than freezing to death!"
Zu Zong: …
(End of Chapter)
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