Location: Variant Town (Earth-∞B)
Time: 65:40:02 until Multiversal Collapse
The first thing Peter saw when they entered Variant Town was a giant inflatable Spider-Ham blimp being stolen by a flying T-Rex in a Spider-Man mask.
The second thing he saw was himself.
Everywhere.
One Peter was selling churros from a food cart marked "Friendly Neighborhood Snacks."
Another was swinging upside down in a wedding tuxedo.
One version wore armor made of scrap metal and roared like a kaiju.
And one was just… a guy in a bathrobe with a mug that said, "#1 Clone."
Deadpool screamed.
Loudly.
In delight.
"This is like a Comic-Con, but every cosplayer is Peter!"
Miguel checked his scanner.
"This is Variant Town. Every divergent version of Peter Parker who was ever 'too weird,' 'too off-brand,' or 'too popular to kill.'"
Peter blinked as a Spider-Cow walked by wearing goggles and said, "Moo-thwip."
Billy headbutted a streetlamp in greeting.
The Multiversal Hub
At the center of town was the Hub: a swirling data-nexus disguised as a hot dog stand.
Run by an elderly Spider-Man with a cane made of web-fluid tubes.
He was Peter Prime.
Or at least, what was left of him.
He looked at our Peter and frowned.
"You brought the Hyperquill here?"
Peter: "We need help. Reboot Prime's targeting our timeline."
Peter Prime squinted.
"You'll get none here."
The Truth About Variant Town
Peter Prime explained.
Variant Town was built after the last editorial purge.
A safe haven. A canon exile zone.
They lived in peace because they agreed on one rule:
No interference.
Every variant gave up their claim to the narrative.
In exchange?
Survival.
No arcs.
No deaths.
No relevance.
Just eternal off-page existence.
Peter looked around at his variants—playing chess, grilling, attending "How Not to Die in a Tie-In" workshops—and realized:
They were hiding.
Miguel whispered, "They could help stop Reboot Prime. We need them."
Peter Prime answered: "No one here wants to be rebooted again. Not after what the continuity did to us."
The Murders Begin
That's when Spider-Punk exploded.
Mid-solo.
Mid-crowd.
Mid-sass.
All that remained was a web-patterned guitar neck, charred.
A voice echoed across the Hub.
"You've all had your spin-off. Now it's time to wrap."
A hooded figure stood atop the old clocktower.
His voice was sharp, clean, terrifyingly bland.
"Reboot Prime sends his regards."
Then he vanished.
The Panic
Screams.
Clones running.
Multiversal Spiders scattering.
Billy bit a wall and growled.
Miguel tried to scan the fade residue. "Teleportation. But not tech. Editorial erasure."
Peter helped a terrified Spider-Knight off the ground.
"We need to protect them. Rally them."
Deadpool: "Oh, now they get a pep talk?"
Peter ignored him.
He swung to the top of the tower and shouted across Variant Town:
"If we run, we end as trivia! But if we stand—if we write—we get to matter again!"
A beat.
Then a roar.
From Spider-Mermaid.
From 2099-noir-Peter.
From Cowboy-Spidey and Cyber-Goth-Spidey and Peter Porker.
They assembled.
They suited up.
They thwipped.
The Battle for Variant Town
It was chaotic.
It was beautiful.
It was 600 Spider-People launching into the sky in coordinated madness.
The enemy?
A wave of white-suited enforcers wielding Retcon Batons and Relevance Scissors.
Deadpool narrated the fight live for a non-existent camera crew.
Billy bleated like a war trumpet and kicked a timeline agent off a rooftop.
Peter and Peter Prime fought back-to-back.
"You were always my favorite variant," Prime muttered.
Peter grinned. "Flattery gets you everywhere, old man."
Deadpool rode on the back of Spider-Raptor.
The Real Assassin Revealed
But the true danger was still unseen.
Miguel tracked a null-signal.
A perfect editorial void.
And then—
Boom.
A bomb of raw narrative bleach detonated near the town square.
Peter raced to the crater—
And saw him.
CanonSlayer.
Built from dead scripts.
Wielding a pen forged in canceled arcs.
Face covered in blank pages.
"You. Aren't. Author-ized."
Peter faced him.
Alone.
Miguel shouted, "He's Reboot Prime's final editor!"
CanonSlayer lunged.
And the final duel began.
Peter vs. CanonSlayer
The fight tore across abandoned arcs.
Into a forgotten '90s sitcom pilot version of Peter.
Into a manga variant still speaking only in chibi symbols.
Into a grimdark reboot where Uncle Ben is the Green Goblin.
Peter dodged the Scissors of Continuity.
Countered with the Hyperquill.
"You can't erase me," Peter snarled. "You need me."
CanonSlayer stabbed at him—
"I'm the legacy."
Peter caught the blade mid-strike.
"And I'm the story."
With a burst of ink and will—
He rewrote the CanonSlayer's page.
Name: Peter Parker
Fate: Forgiven.
Role: Variant Reuniter.
CanonSlayer staggered…
Collapsed…
And vanished into a memory.
The Aftermath
Variant Town stood.
Scarred, but alive.
Peter stood atop the hot dog stand.
Addressed every Peter below:
"This won't be the last attack. Reboot Prime's coming. But so are we."
They erupted into cheers.
Except Spider-Guy-in-Bathrobe.
He just sipped coffee and muttered, "I miss the '80s."
Later, On the Roof of Nowhere:
Miguel checked his watch.
64:59:10 remaining.
Peter held the Hyperquill.
Deadpool juggled timelines like bowling pins.
And Billy… was asleep in a trash can.
Peter looked out over the vast multiverse.
"One city saved. A thousand left. And a reboot breathing down our necks."
Miguel: "Next stop?"
Peter: "Where all stories begin. The Archive."