Ficool

Chapter 59 - Chapter 59: The Feast

Because Tarnes and his companions were too tall to move comfortably within Bag End, the task of moving the dining table and food to a more spacious room was left to the Dwarves.

Fili, Kili, and Dwalin were the most diligent.

The other Dwarves, however, expertly made their way into Bilbo's food pantry, chattering about what they wanted to eat.

A Dwarf with a white beard and short mustache named Dori came over carrying a teapot. "Would you like a cup of chamomile tea, Mr. Gandalf?" he asked.

Gandalf was leaning against the wall to avoid obstructing the Dwarves moving the table. He chuckled and shook his head. "No thank you, I think I'll have a little red wine."

Thorin happened to be passing by carrying a stool. Hearing the conversation between Gandalf and Dori, he immediately said, "I'll have a glass of red wine as well."

Dori respectfully nodded to Gandalf and Thorin and retreated with the teapot.

Bifur, the Dwarf with a broken axe blade stuck in his head, said in Khuzdul, "I'd like some raspberry jam and apple tart."

His cousin, Bofur, who wore a hood and had two long black braids, added, "And some mince pies and cheese."

Bombur, the fattest Dwarf, burped and bellowed, "And lots and lots of pork pie and salad would be best!"

"Good heavens, Bombur, you've already eaten a whole leg of mutton! It's one thing not to help, but you're actually having them fetch food for you!" Gloin, busy carrying a barrel of ale, couldn't help but scold as he saw Bombur slowly licking the mutton bone clean.

Bombur's response to this was a great, hearty burp.

"Oh, good heavens..." Gloin, passing by him, made a disgusted sound, held his nose, and walked away carrying the heavy ale barrel.

"A few more eggs, my good fellow! And if there's any cold chicken and pickles, bring those out too!" Bombur paid no mind and continued to shout loudly.

Gloin ignored him. Then, as he passed by Tarnes, he immediately stopped, stood at attention, and greeted him cheerfully, "Lord Tarnes! We meet again!"

Tarnes, of course, remembered the Dwarf guard captain with whom he'd had a small misunderstanding upon first arriving in the Blue Mountains. He returned the smile. "I hope you have a pleasant evening."

"Haha, of course!" Gloin replied happily, carrying the barrel away.

At this moment, Bilbo walked over to Tarnes with an expression of disbelief and looked at Gandalf, who was standing opposite Tarnes. He spoke loudly, his voice filled with confusion, "Why do these Dwarves know what's in my pantry as well as I do myself?"

He was truly bewildered, feeling as if a group of wretched thieves and robbers, not Dwarves, had entered his home.

Judging by the Dwarves' behavior, Bilbo's feeling was not without reason.

Gandalf blinked but said nothing, while Tarnes said to Gandalf, "Gandalf, you really should have told Bilbo beforehand that these Dwarves were coming to the feast. You should know, not everyone can tolerate the Dwarves' overly familiar nature."

Gandalf said innocently, "But I didn't get a chance to tell him yesterday. Our hobbit stormed into his house and shut the door in my face."

Bilbo pointed back and forth between himself and Gandalf in astonishment. "Me? But I invited you for tea today! I didn't expect you to bring so many people! Look at my kitchen now! There are mud spots being trampled all over the carpet!"

Just then, Bofur and Dori happened to walk past them. Hearing Bilbo's shout, they looked over.

This caused the hobbit, whose words belied his thoughts, to immediately change his tune. "Oh, I'm not talking about you. I'm very happy to have you as guests in my home. In fact, I'm doing just that."

Then he immediately muttered in a very low voice, "Of course, it would be even better if we knew each other."

Bofur smiled and said, "I know," then walked away.

This time, Dori was holding the red wine decanter and two small glasses that had just been on Bilbo's dining table. He carefully poured the red wine and handed a glass to Gandalf and Thorin respectively.

Dori said proudly, "Mr. Gandalf, Lord Thorin, a small glass of red wine, just as you requested. It has a rather fruity bouquet."

Bilbo pointed at Dori, his mouth agape with disbelief, and whispered to Tarnes beside him, "Tarnes, did you see that! That Dwarf is using my own treasured red wine to serve my guests?"

Tarnes also had trouble keeping a straight face. He glared pointedly at Gandalf.

Gandalf, however, looked away, cheerfully took the glass, and clinked it with Thorin's.

The Dwarves were nimble-fingered. Soon, they had piled bottles, plates, forks, knives, glasses, dishes, spoons, and all sorts of food and drink onto the long dining table.

Thorin sat at the head of the table, Gandalf to his right. Tarnes sat opposite Thorin, and Bernahl and the others sat in their previous spots.

Of course, the Dwarves also warmly greeted Bernahl, Millicent, and Igon, not ignoring them just because they were strangers.

Bilbo sat on a stool by the fireplace, looking rather sullen, nibbling on a piece of buttered scone he had rescued from the Dwarves' plates, yet trying hard to appear normal.

After seeing everyone was seated, Thorin raised his mug of ale and looked at Tarnes with a smile.

He first solemnly expressed his happiness and gratitude to Tarnes, then said loudly, "The feast begins, everyone!"

Fili and Kili cheered together, "Yay! The feast begins!"

"Oh, just starting? Bombur is already on his second leg of mutton!" Gloin exclaimed, looking at Bombur's ever-moving mouth.

Bofur noticed Gloin's exclamation, looked at his cousin Bombur, and tilted his chin. "Hey, Bombur, catch!"

He then tossed a peeled, hard-boiled egg toward Bombur's mouth.

Bombur opened his mouth wide, and the egg was accurately caught by his teeth, then chewed and swallowed.

"Yeah!!" Bombur let out a triumphant cheer.

The other Dwarves, noticing the interaction between the cousins Bombur and Bofur, also pounded the table and made happy noises.

Only Thorin quietly watched it all, smiling as he ate the vegetable soup before him.

Bilbo moved next to Tarnes and asked, watching the rowdy Dwarves, "Are they always like this?"

Tarnes watched the Dwarves tossing food into their companions' mouths as if they were projectiles and said tactfully, "Honestly, Bilbo, I think they've restrained themselves quite a bit."

"Restrained? Hmm? I'm sure my ears didn't deceive me. You call this situation 're-strain-ed'?" Bilbo asked back, emphasizing the pronunciation.

Millicent, sitting to Tarnes's left, said to Bilbo with some sympathy, "Tarnes is right. If you spend enough time with these Dwarves, you'll know that if they didn't respect Lord Tarnes's dining habits, they would have already put their feet on the table and started asking who wanted another mug of ale."

Bilbo's eyes widened. He pursed his lips and looked up, seemingly in thought.

"Let's count down together, three, two, one, and BOTTOMS UP!" Dwalin shouted with a loud laugh.

The Dwarves, who had been making their own commotion, instantly quieted down. After Dwalin's countdown, they extended their mugs toward the center of the table, clinked them with their companions', and began to drink heartily.

Every Dwarf who clinked mugs downed the contents of their cup in one go, followed by a chorus of burps.

"Buuurp!"

Oin, who was relatively small and looked the most demure, surprisingly let out the longest burp, earning applause from Fili and the others.

Bernahl placed his empty mug on the table, raised an eyebrow at the Dwarves while pouring himself more drink, finding their boisterous scene quite interesting.

Fili and Kili happened to be sitting next to Bernahl, so he struck up a conversation with them, asking if they had neglected their combat practice since returning.

Gloin, sitting to Kili's left, though separated by two Dwarves from Bernahl, still raised his mug to him respectfully. "I heard from Fili and Kili that you are their combat instructor! I toast you!"

Fili took the initiative to introduce him. "Teacher Bernahl, this is Gloin, the most outstanding guard captain in our Blue Mountains."

Gloin laughed heartily. "That's in the past, Fili! Now the most outstanding guard captains should be you and Kili!"

Bernahl smiled and clinked his mug with the one Gloin was striving to extend, taking a few sips.

After finishing his drink, Gloin said, "This is all thanks to you, Mr. Bernahl, and Lord Tarnes. Without your careful cultivation, Fili and Kili would probably still be wet-behind-the-ears youngsters."

Kili laughed and shouted, "Why are you suddenly talking like my uncle Thorin!"

Gloin's brother, Oin, the Dwarf with the iron ear trumpet, interjected into their conversation. "That's because Gloin's wife gave birth to a fat son not long ago! He's a father now!"

Kili said in surprise, "Is that true?"

Gloin showed a father's loving smile, took out a locket from his coat, opened it, and showed the portrait inside to Fili and Kili.

"Look, this is my son! Isn't he short and broad just like me!" he said.

Kili asked, "What's the little fellow's name?"

"Gimli! In a certain ancient tongue, this name means 'fire'!" Gloin laughed.

Bernahl chewed on the name thoughtfully, then showed a satisfied smile. "Gimli, fire... hmm, fire. Honestly, I'm quite fond of this name. Fire, it sounds very good. If you don't mind, I would like to be this child's combat instructor."

Gloin's eyes widened, looking at Bernahl in disbelief. "Really?"

Bernahl nodded. "There's no need for me to lie."

Kili excitedly pushed Gloin's shoulder and laughed. "Hahaha, now I'm your son's senior apprentice-brother!"

Fili silently prayed in his heart that Gloin's son could endure Bernahl's demonic teaching methods.

Bernahl and the Dwarves were getting along splendidly, and it was the same for Igon.

He had long since been sharing drinks with the kind-looking Dwarf Balin sitting next to him. It seemed these two oldest-looking individuals had many common topics.

"Mr. Igon, the armor you're wearing looks like it has many stories," Balin said with a smile, clinking mugs with him.

After drinking his wine, Igon said, "Yes, none of this armor was originally mine. It's all pieced together from what I've scavenged on battlefields."

Balin looked interested. "Oh? Can you tell me more? I'm very interested in the stories of the armor's original owners."

Igon nodded. "Of course."

Although Millicent was also infected by the Dwarves' festive mood, she wasn't as completely relaxed as Bernahl and Igon.

The Dwarves ate and drank, talked and talked. Time slipped away, and the various delicacies and drinks on the table rapidly diminished.

Finally, the Dwarves stood up and pushed their chairs back, signaling the end of the feast.

"Oh, it's finally over."

Bilbo, who had been watching the Dwarves devour his food with longing eyes, finally breathed a sigh of relief and stepped forward to start clearing the cups and plates.

He tried hard to maintain his host's composure and hospitality, asking, "Have you all had enough? I mean, if it's not enough, I think there might be some leftovers in the pantry."

All the Dwarves replied loudly and with satisfaction, "We're full, Mr. Baggins!"

Someone shouted, "Even Bombur is full, so that means we're really full!"

And the Dwarves all roared with laughter.

Thorin coughed lightly, and the Dwarves immediately fell silent.

He said, "Help our generous host, Bilbo Baggins, clear the table and clean up here and the kitchen. Bifur, Bofur, play your flutes. Fili, Kili, play your fiddles. And of course, Bombur, you too, remember to get your drum from the door. Let's play the music of the feast for Bilbo Baggins."

Bofur, who had been called, stood up and said, "Bombur has eaten too much tonight and can't stand up. I'll go get his drum from the door for him."

The rest of the Dwarves who hadn't been called by name rose to the occasion. They worked together, nimbly stacking all the things from the table like a circus performance.

They stacked them high, several towers of plates, forks, and teacups, which now appeared on the table.

At this moment, Bofur brought the drum to Bombur. The stout Dwarf exchanged a glance with the other Dwarves holding instruments and began to play the Dwarves' song.

The other Dwarves lifted the tall stacks of dishes. A pear was balanced on the top plate of the 'tower' as they maintained their balance and walked toward the kitchen, in time with their companions' singing.

Bilbo's eyes widened at this sight. He followed anxiously behind them, calling out for the Dwarves to be careful, careful, and more careful still.

"Chip the glasses and crack the plates!"

"Blunt the knives and bend the forks!"

"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!"

Of course, they did none of these scary things. Everything was put away neatly and washed spotlessly, and at lightning speed, as if this wasn't the first time they had done such a thing.

Of course, Thorin took no part in these activities, as his status was more noble.

After the Dwarves' music ended, Thorin finally spoke. "Alright, now we should discuss Bilbo Baggins joining our expedition."

Hearing this, Bilbo asked, confused, "Expedition? What expedition?"

[Chapter Complete]

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