My mind was doing multiple things at once.
One, dying. Two, trying to stop my mouth from letting out noises. Three, telling myself I couldn't just lie here without reciprocating! Four, both remembering and trying not to remember that, only recently, I'd: been tied up, been blindfolded, had some... uh... mouth action with a whole crowd of pirates watching, pushed him against a tree and marked him and been marked in return—and now this!
And there wasn't even any alcohol involved this time!
I didn't want to stop him. I wanted to turn around and—
But.
My concerns had not faded. Now that there wasn't any alcohol involved, my initial worries about keeping him alive were very present.
If we did escalate things, and I fucked things up, and he cut me off and decided to fight alone, his chance of death was still 67%.
Seriously. What was the solution here?
Could I make him swear not to cut me off as a combat partner if he hated me later?
Maybe there was, like… a System contract or a full-on bond or something that would make sure he wouldn't go off and die on his own somewhere?
Llewellyn's mouth kissed lower, with just the barest hint of teeth.
"…"
I made a noise.
"Wait," I managed, though my voice came out weird. "I need to—"
"Need to what?"
Huh. Good question.
…What was my train of thought again?
"Any objections?" Llewellyn said.
Objections. Yes. I had those.
I turned, flipped us over, and pinned him down.
Llewellyn's eyes showed a flash of surprise—then interest.
I kissed his throat.
Llewellyn's breath hitched under me and I did it again, kissing the hollow at the base of his neck. His pulse was hammering against my mouth.
I kissed along his collarbone, then back up.
When I pulled back to breathe, he was looking at me with half-lidded eyes, his mouth slightly open. He reached up, pulling my head toward him, clearly aiming for my mouth, and I... panicked.
I kissed his jaw instead.
Llewellyn paused, then let his head fall back again, letting me have access.
Wait. No. Fuck.
Would he take that as rejection? I hadn't meant to—
But I shouldn't do this either!
I just thought, since we'd done this before maybe it didn't count? And I really wanted to. But.
I kissed his throat again, a bit more desperately this time.
I should just explain that percentage situation and all this useless drama would go away. But how do you tell the strongest guy in the world, you have a 67% chance of dying without me?! That was ridiculous. In fact, how was I even supposed to keep him alive?!
"Enough," Llewellyn said, pushing me back.
…Oh.
My stomach plummeted.
I'd also forgotten he preferred doing the pinning, so maybe I shouldn't have—
I pulled back, looking everywhere but at him, but Llewellyn just guided us back into our previous position.
"I've got fifteen System notifications in the last thirty seconds that say your distress levels went through the roof."
Uh. Damn the System.
"This seemed to be fine? If it's not, I'll leave you the bed."
What?
"Hey!" I said. This bastard! Don't make me feel worse than I already do! "Don't you dare. Otherwise I'll just go home."
Llewellyn's mouth quirked up against my skin and he let out a long breath, his body relaxing.
Ah, I really hadn't meant to upset him.
This sucked.
I mean, not what we'd been doing. That was great.
And I really didn't want to be anywhere else right now. Or likely later, for what mattered.
I just had to explain—and then we could figure things out.
But I really couldn't bring myself to do it right now.
"I don't want—" Llewellyn started, then stopped, seemingly frustrated. "I don't enjoy my partners doing things they don't want to do."
What? Who said I didn't want to?!
"I never do things I don't want to do," I told him, a bit annoyed now.
"Then? Nevermind," Llewellyn said. "The System is going to kill me if I keep upsetting you."
…He was the one I'd accidentally upset, not the other way round! Besides, I was pretty sure the System cared about me only insofar as I was helpful in keeping him alive. Anyway.
Damn it.
I wanted to fix this. I didn't want him to think I didn't want to... kiss him. And the rest.
Even if I couldn't bring myself to explain right now, maybe I could suggest something else?
"What if I just—" I said, "—take your shirt off."
Llewellyn paused.
"Just to clarify. You're not asking me to take my shirt off. You're telling me you want to take my shirt off."
"…Well?"
Llewellyn seemed amused.
Ah, that was good.
He nosed at the back of my neck again and pressed a kiss to it.
"Well. I can't imagine you really think I'd stop you."
…He wouldn't?
I turned around, flipped us over, and pressed him flat onto the bed again.
"No?" I said.
…Wait.
Damn it.
Why couldn't I stop pinning him!
I mean, he could push me off in a second, but. I also didn't want to do anything he didn't like.
"…Also just to clarify," I said after a moment, mirroring his wording. "How averse are you to being pinned, really?"
Llewellyn snorted. "Do I seem like I don't like it?"
Well, no. That was the thing. But he usually just—
"It makes me want to pin you back. It has nothing to do with not liking it."
Huh.
Maybe it just triggered his fight instinct then.
Well, I didn't mind that. At all.
…In fact, my breath went a bit weird there for a moment.
Llewellyn raised an eyebrow. "Well? Did you change your mind?"
I lifted his shirt and took it off.
Uh.
Damn.
"What about yours?" Llewellyn said.
Great point. I took mine off too.
Llewellyn's eyes roamed.
A moment later he pulled me back down and got us back into our previous position again.
Then, he bit down on my throat.
Playful, not to mark. But I still let out a startled noise.
"Sleep," Llewellyn said.
"…"
I mean.
All the contact felt amazing. Not really something I wanted to sleep through.
Still. I settled against him.
Good thing at least one of us still had his wits about him.
Llewellyn made a quiet sound, almost like a sigh.
I listened to his breathing slow down, feeling his tension leaving his body bit by bit as he fell asleep.
...What a day.
Ah, I really didn't want to sleep. I wanted to turn around and get my mouth everywhere.
Well, this was my fault. I could probably have done that if I'd sorted myself out properly.
I sighed.
I must have fallen asleep at some point, because some time later both Llewellyn and I were woken up by a blaring alert.
[EMERGENCY ALERT! Distorted Realm Detected!]
[EMERGENCY ALERT! Distorted Realm Detected!]
[EMERGENCY ALERT! Distorted Realm Detected!]