Anyway, back to more pressing matters.
"Gran saw the news," I explained between bites. "And then the nurse said—" Wait. I needed to see how bad it was. I opened social media. "Shit. She was right. We're trending."
"How much detail did they show?"
I pulled up a news site and we watched the coverage as we ate.
The footage was grainy, probably due to the artifacts, but unfortunately clear. You could see the giant cat, the flying keys, me almost diving into the keyring and bleeding all over it.
This particular news channel had looped the same thirty-second clip of the fight three times already, the footage showing Llewellyn's sword flashing in the air and my water geyser erupting.
The anchor's voiceover dripped with faux concern: "—heroic efforts, but questions remain about the System's reliance on unqualified personnel during high-risk scenarios—"
The screen cut to a wide shot of the evacuated street. My own figure blurred at the edges, I assumed due to the concealment artifact struggling against camera lenses.
Llewellyn's eyes narrowed. "They blurred the bloodstains. How considerate."
They also hadn't shown the actual gore by the look of it, the severed head and limb. The anchor had only mentioned "casualties" without specifics.
I wondered how the girl with the severed arm was doing. I hoped she would be able to recover.
The segment switched to a panel of talking heads. A woman with an annoying voice was saying, "This so-called hero and his sidekick clearly lack proper training. Throwing themselves into danger without KARMA oversight endangers civilians and—"
I muted the video. "Sidekick?"
"Be grateful they didn't call you something worse.'"
Ugh, he wasn't even wrong.
Still nothing on how the injured were doing.
We switched to another channel.
"—while the immediate threat was neutralized, experts question whether such reckless improvisation has a place in artifact containment. Should civilians with no formal training really be—"
Oh, for fuck's sake. I already had enough.
I was about to turn it off but—they were going to interview someone?
Ah, damn it.
"Not Asshat," I groaned.
On my screen, round horn glasses and slimy face, Henry Hoverhasset—commentator, self-styled expert, and absolutely unbearable public figure—was talking about "reckless civilians interfering with artifact containment", and how people should determine carefully whether we were "heroes or hazards".
"Better than last week," Llewellyn said dryly. "He called me a 'menace to public safety'."
I didn't generally feel like punching people, but he was definitely an exception.
The segment chyron read: "Hero Culture and Civilian Endangerment — a Public Reckoning."
"What we witnessed today," he intoned, "was not heroism. A young civilian, visibly wounded, bleeding over a Destabilized Artifact in a crowded urban zone—under the supervision of Innishae's so-called hero. Is this the standard we can expect now?"
I resisted the urge to fling my phone across the kitchen.
My mind went longingly to that time the #HHasshatGoHome tag was trending.
As he went on, his slickly crafted outrage suddenly reminded me of someone else.
I frowned and went to check RightSideofHistory's account.
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RightSideofHistory - 3h ago
Not to be that person, but maybe we shouldn't be encouraging untrained civilians to bleed on unstable artifacts in the middle of a crowded district? Just a thought.
RightSideofHistory - 3h ago
No, sorry, I'm not over it. What was the plan exactly? This is some of the most amateurish fighting I've ever seen. And you're all foaming at the mouth because he has a little partner to tuck into his side after the battle? Please.
RightSideofHistory - 3h ago
To everyone in my inbox: this isn't about him. I hope he recovers fully and gets whatever care he needs. That doesn't mean we ignore what happened.
RightSideofHistory – 2h ago
I need someone to explain to me how people died and your takeaway is "he looked hot holding his little support partner". We are so unserious as a society.
RightSideofHistory – 2h ago
To be clear: I don't blame the civilian. I hope he's okay. I hope he gets distance from this whole mess. I blame the golden boy who let it happen. Who stood by while a kid bled out trying to compensate for his tactical failure.
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What the hell? Who's the kid?
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RightSideofHistory – 2h ago
Do you know what it looks like?
It looks like a PR setup.
It looks like they let that civilian get hurt for the footage.
And all of you bought it.
RightSideofHistory – 1h ago
The internet is cooing over these two while real people are burying their dead. This is what hero culture does. It turns war into spectacle.
RightSideofHistory – 1h ago
I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you think fighting Knots and related magical problems excuses you from moral responsibility, you are already complicit. He's not fixing the problem. He is the problem.
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...What was wrong with this person?! Why didn't she step in and fight, if she thought she could do better?
People liked to complain about Llewellyn, but it's not like anyone else was doing anything. Except for running their mouths online or sometimes showing up with signs somewhere.
If he just stopped stepping in, would they be happier? Or just blame him for the higher death count too?
Why the hell was this all on him? Why was it his responsibility alone?
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RightSideofHistory – 1h ago
People used to be horrified when civilians got dragged into Knot events. Now they ship it. Do you not see how far we've fallen?
RightSideofHistory – 1h ago
And don't say "he didn't ask for this". He brought someone into a live combat zone. Either he didn't know the risks (lol) or he didn't care. Pick one.
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...Was she really using me to attack Llewellyn now? Did she want to die?!
"Stop reading that," Llewellyn said, pushing the plate of sandwiches closer to me. "Eat."
I wanted to crush my phone, but closed everything and picked up a sandwich instead.
***
We ate while chatting easily, with Penguin chirping occasionally, and Lumos doing his best impression of a starving dog.
The food was really amazing. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I started eating.
Llewellyn seemed satisfied, eating steadily too and randomly commenting on Penguin's contributions.
Penguin mostly just chirped happily, then stole pieces of steak when we weren't looking and dropped them to Lumos.
"…"
Afterward, we cleared the table and loaded the dishwasher. Or more precisely, Llewellyn protested whenever I helped out, and I told him to fuck off.
He lasted three minutes. Then, he dragged me to the living room, pushed me down onto the sofa, and dropped both Lumos and Penguin on top of me.
"Keep him there," Llewellyn told them. "I'll be back in a few minutes." And went back into the kitchen.
Penguin chirped.
...Honestly.
Lumos looked up at me excitedly and flopped over across my legs, showing his belly.
I snorted. Alright then.