Chapter 58: A Day in the Tuohy Household
"I didn't expect you to be so good with kids," said a gentle voice from behind. "Mary told me your little brother is her greatest pride. I'm guessing that has something to do with having such a great big brother as a role model."
"No, Sheldon's just naturally gifted," Ron replied without even needing to turn around—he already knew the voice belonged to Mrs. Leigh-Anne Tuohy, SJ's mom and Mr. Tuohy's wife.
"Actually, he's a bit too gifted. So much so that it's hard to consider him a normal person."
And Ron wasn't exaggerating. He swore he was being totally honest—after all, what kind of ten-year-old tries to build a nuclear reactor in the garage to power the entire town? And the scariest part? He nearly succeeded. If that's not "exceptional," what is?
"Would it be alright if SJ rode with you for a bit?" Leigh-Anne asked. "I'd like to have a private talk with Mike. He still looks upset, even if he's not crying anymore."
"Of course," Ron agreed immediately, then added a few words in Mike's defense.
"I'm guessing you're not mad at him, right? I mean, the guy immediately shielded SJ without a second thought. It's obvious he truly sees SJ as family."
"Seriously, what kind of person do you think I am?" Leigh-Anne looked slightly offended. "I know exactly who saved SJ from being crushed by an airbag deploying at 220 km/h. I'm not blind."
Ron stuck out his tongue playfully like a scolded kid, then grabbed SJ and headed to the car.
—
"Ron, can you please put on something with a little more beat? The stuff in your car is so old even my dad wouldn't listen to it!" SJ complained from the passenger seat, his short legs swinging under the dashboard because they didn't reach the floor.
It wasn't the safest way to sit, but Ron didn't say anything. Safety depended more on who was driving, and with the street-racing skills he'd copied from Toretto, even if someone in the passenger seat was playing Twister, it wouldn't affect his control in the slightest.
"Alright, what do you want to hear?" Ron asked, turning off the smooth jazz of What a Wonderful World and opening the glove compartment.
SJ rummaged through the CDs, but everything was from the '60s and '70s. Not a single album from this century. He shut the compartment with a huff and leaned back in his seat like a grumpy little old man.
"Your taste in music is ancient. Seriously, how did my sister ever fall for you?"
Ron nearly choked. "Your sister likes me? How do you know that? You better not be making this up, kid."
He vaguely remembered the Tuohy daughter—a cute little girl with her mom's stunning looks. Definitely someone who'd grow up to be just as beautiful as Leigh-Anne. But like him? They'd barely interacted! Sure, he was good-looking, but still…
Is this really how women choose these days—entire moral standards overridden by good cheekbones?
"I peeked at Collins's diary," SJ said proudly, sitting up with a mischievous grin. "Wanna know what she wrote?"
"I'm not into violating people's privacy," Ron replied flatly. "And you really shouldn't do that either. If Collins finds out, you're toast."
Sure, Collins was cute—but it wasn't like Ron was desperate for female attention.
Besides, considering how close their families were, if anything happened between him and Collins… wouldn't that practically be a setup for marriage?
And marriage? No thanks. That's the graveyard of love, and the vows? The tombstone of freedom. Ron had no intention of being chained down anytime soon.
"Pfft." SJ flopped back in his seat again. "You adults are all so fake. At least Big Mike's fun."
—
"So," Ron ventured, "with Mike joining the family, does it feel weird? Like… maybe you feel your mom's attention is being stolen or something?"
"What? No way!" SJ replied loudly. "Honestly, I wish Mom would pay less attention to me. I'd finally have more freedom!"
He crossed his arms and spoke with exaggerated maturity. "My dream is to be a football coach—just like your dad. And Mike? He's my first player."
"He's got a great build," Ron admitted. "Even if he doesn't play football, he could make a solid basketball player. Though I'm curious about his technique…"
The spark of competition lit up in Ron's eyes. After all, growing up with a coach for a father, he'd been a star quarterback on the school football team.
"You guys should have a match later!" SJ suggested with a wicked grin. He was clearly hoping to watch Ron get shown up by his "trainee."
"I was a quarterback. Mike's a lineman. How would that even work?" Ron shot down the idea instantly.
Sure, Mike was still a growing teen, but he was already close to matching Ron in size and strength—and there was no way Ron was about to work up a sweat before dinner.
"That would be way too damaging to my image—especially with the Tuohy ladies around!"
Ron quickly shifted gears—figuratively and literally.
"Almost forgot," he said, reaching behind the seat to grab a small gift bag and handing it to SJ. "Here's a little something for you—a Longhorns cap."
SJ let out a loud cheer, tore the wrapping open, and immediately put the cap on his head. He admired himself from every angle in the vanity mirror.
"Man, this is sick! What do you think—don't I look just like your dad?"
SCREECH!
Ron slammed the brakes, bringing the car to a sudden halt that nearly launched SJ out of his seat.
He reached over and yanked the cap down over SJ's eyes. "Watch your mouth, you little punk. Where'd you even learn to say stuff like that?"
"Say what?" SJ protested, pushing the cap back up and blinking innocently. "You adults have the weirdest imaginations. I meant I admire Uncle George! I heard he's getting signed next year—to coach in the Super Bowl, right? Do you know which team he's going to?"
"…Where are you getting this inside info from?" Ron frowned. Even he hadn't heard George mention anything like that.
"If he's really going, I bet it's a Texas team. You know how much he loves this state."
The drive wasn't long, and between their casual banter, they arrived in no time. Ron noticed Mike getting out of the car—his earlier gloom had vanished. He was back to his cheerful self, and he and SJ immediately linked hands like two oversized kids and headed to the backyard for some practice.
—
Mr. Tuohy wasn't home, so lunch was prepared by Ron's mom, Mary. It tasted just like he remembered—warm, familiar, and delicious.
But even so, Ron found himself a little uneasy.
Thanks to SJ's earlier comment, he'd started paying more attention… and sure enough, Collins had been giving him looks. Not just casual glances—sticky ones. Eyes that lingered. Like she wanted to glue herself to him.
And every time Ron tried to meet her gaze, she'd instantly panic and turn away like a startled deer, pretending to look at anything but him.
Even Leigh-Anne and Mary seemed to pick up on it. They didn't say anything directly, but the way they'd occasionally look at each other, whisper, and break into knowing laughter—it was all very… auntie-like.
..
*Note: All character images for the Tuohys are inspired by the movie and are not representations of real-life individuals.*