Opening my eyes, I saw the ceiling… An unfamiliar white ceiling… Considering I'd gone to sleep in my own apartment, and my ceiling is gray… This was sparking some very unpleasant thoughts.
Sitting up sharply, I scanned the room: white walls, white furniture, some kind of gold accents everywhere, a bookcase, another one—apparently for clothes—a balcony, a nightstand… Where the fuck did I end up?
Tossing off the soft, white blanket with gold patterns, I discovered that my body wasn't exactly mine either. I used to be a bit of a chubby guy, and here was some kind of lean athlete, and what's more, absolutely no body hair, like, at all. Am I some kind of clone? Though I seem to have a belly button…
My "package," by the way, was also present, and quite impressive, definitely above average… Though why the hell am I even assessing this if it's some kind of dream or something similar?
I should pinch myself.
My attempt to check if it was a dream ended with me feeling pain, but it was very faint, as if my body barely registered it…
"Ahem… Um?" I cleared my throat, already realizing my voice would be different too.
And so it was—the voice was clear, deep, and very artistic, perfect for some kind of voice actor.
Meanwhile, my hand was already checking if I had any hair on my head at least. Turns out, I did. In fact, even eyebrows and a light stubble were present. But why no hair on my body then?
"Curiouser and curiouser…" I muttered, getting out of bed.
For some reason, I had no clothes on. I never slept naked, and certainly never walked around my apartment like that, so the feeling was strange…
I slowly approached the wardrobe near the balcony entrance and, opening it, found that clothes were indeed stored there. I found underwear and something like a robe—all of it also done in the style of the surroundings: white with gold, though the robe also had some gray.
Dressed in this, I realized I was instinctively trying not to look towards the balcony. Some irrational fear of the unknown seemed to whisper at me to just sit in the room and stare at the wall.
I mean, I literally don't understand a thing, and here's some goddamn mysticism.
Overcoming my fear, I pulled back the curtain and looked outside…
"Well, fuck…"
Maybe I've been drugged? Or is this some kind of prank?
A white-and-gold city stretched out before me. Some buildings were literally hanging on clouds. Flying between them were… people. No, not people. Angels.
Am I in Heaven?
Bzz-bzz.
A strange vibrating sound, like a cell phone call, snapped me out of my shock.
Looking towards the sound, I saw a black plate with a smile of sharp fangs and two eyes drawn on it, all in gold… Something clicked in my memory, like I'd seen this drawing somewhere before.
Swallowing hard, I reached for the plate. A memory (?) surfaced in my head, like I was supposed to put this to my face. For some reason, not resisting this strange urge, I pressed the plate to my face and realized it was a mask, which immediately attached itself.
Surprisingly, it didn't obstruct my vision at all. It felt as if I wasn't wearing any mask, except for a small window displaying a photo of some girl with short white hair.
Below it was the caption "Lute" and two buttons—green and red.
Looks like a phone…
"And how do I press it?"
I poked my finger where the receiver icon was, but nothing happened.
Understanding flashed again – I had to mentally agree to accept the call, and then it would work.
Yielding to this feeling, I "pressed" the green button. The vibration stopped immediately, and the picture changed and flew to the top right corner, shrinking several times.
"Adam, where are you?" a pleasant female voice sounded in my head.
"We have a meeting with Lucifer's daughter in an hour, being late is undesirable…" continued… Lute? That's a name, right?
When the meaning of what I'd heard sank in, my head suddenly started to ache.
Adam? Lucifer's daughter? Lute?
Fuck, did I "fall into" this?
Into a fucking cartoon? One where (by all appearances) I get killed off in the very first season?
My breath caught. My head was splitting. Did my blood pressure shoot up?
"Sir?" came the concerned voice of… my lieutenant (?).
"Lute, could you fly over to my place, please? Then we'll head to the meeting, alright?" I forced myself to say, trying not to betray my feelings.
Silence hung in the air.
Did I do something wrong?
Or with this phone, do you have to think instead of speak?
"Alright, Sir, I'll be there in 15 minutes…" Lute said and "hung up."
"What the actual fuck…" I whispered, sitting down on the bed and removing the "mask."
I went to sleep and woke up in the body of fucking Adam from that cartoon about nice demons, and in an hour, I have to go to a meeting with some "daughter of Lucifer."
Are these the events of the first episode?
And I have none of Adam's knowledge. I literally know jack shit.
I'm not at all sure I'm right about any of this.
And what do I do?
At that moment, I remembered Adam had golden wings.
Looking around, I noticed I had them too.
So, does this mean I was so "out of it" that I didn't notice two enormous, fucking wings?
Apparently so…
"Okay, gotta calm down," I said, trying to pull myself together.
Tell everyone I'm not quite Adam? Or rather, not Adam at all?
I could, of course, but I'm afraid to imagine the reaction of Lute, Adam's assistant.
In the animated series, she was shown as very… hot. In every sense of the word.
What if she decides to gut an impostor?
Unlikely, of course. More likely, she'd drag me off for a forced lobotomy by the Seraphim in an attempt to bring back the old Adam, but the chance of dying within the first hour of my "new life" scares the shit out of me.
First things first, I need to finish all business, and when I'm alone, I can think everything through and make a plan.
So:
Soon I have the canonical meeting with Charlie.In 10 minutes, an angel-killer will arrive for me.I need to play Adam, despite having absolutely none of his knowledge.
Although... there were those "flashes of understanding" when I tried to answer the call. Is Adam's memory returning?
And can I even handle the experience of a being who's lived for over ten thousand years?
Fuck, all that later. First, I need to survive. First order of business: learn to fly, because without that skill, they'll see through me in a heartbeat.
"Oh, screw it," I said anxiously, jumping off the balcony of the two-story building.
Why jump instead of trying to take off myself? The previous Adam's reflexes would help, and the height isn't much, so there's no real risk, plus fear might jog some "dormant" memories.
Opening my eyes, I realized I was hovering in the air, flapping my wings.
Thank God, it worked.
After flying back and forth for a couple of minutes, I started to circle. It turned out to be fucking amazing. Flying awakened something in me; it captivated me so much that I started circling my two-story house—a very beautiful one, by the way—all while increasing my speed.
I only managed to overcome the pleasant sensations with the fear of being found out and… I don't know, having my essence erased to bring Adam back? My soul ripped from my body?
Finally landing on the balcony, I tried to recall the canonical Adam's demeanor. I'm no actor, of course, but my life seemingly depends on this, so I have to try…
I took a deep breath, straightened my back, and plastered a confident smirk on my face.
Time to play the part of the local top dick.