After the day Darius had sent the guards who came all the way looking for me away. We were both standing beside the fire, looking at the sky.
"I don't know anymore," I said slowly.
Darius did not speak. I was not so sure if the silence was kindness or calculation.
We stood right beside the fire, far from the tents. The sky covered endlessly above us, filled with stars, the kind of night that should have made me feel something, but I was feeling empty.
The sand under my feet was very cold. My hands were shaking, I put them into the sleeves of the robe that is oversized that Darius had given me earlier. It still smelled faintly of cedar and ashes.
"I used to feel her all the time even when she was quiet, she was there in the back of my head and even in my bones." I said, my voice was hardly above the sound of the flames.
"And now?" Darius finally turned his head.
"Now it's like she's even asleep or hiding or even worse."
