Although I seemed to recall the anime mentioning Eri Kisaki's terrible cooking, it was only a brief mention. Plus, in the past, I always went out to eat with Eri Kisaki, so Mu Tianyuan eventually forgot about it. But it wasn't until yesterday that Mu Tianyuan fully realized the terrifying cooking skills of attorney Eri Kisaki. After finally finishing the meal, Mu Tianyuan, along with the little fox and Miss Meow, sprinted away.
It wasn't that Mu Tianyuan was in a hurry to go home. It was simply that he felt that since he hadn't collapsed, there was still hope for rescue. And since there was hope, who would want to die? After finding a corner and thoroughly vomiting, Mu Tianyuan finally took the little fox and the others home. Mu Tianyuan originally thought that after he had almost vomited his guts out, there wouldn't be much left to worry about.
Who knew that after getting home, the torment didn't stop? He didn't know if it was because Mu Tianyuan hadn't vomited cleanly enough, or if Eri Kisaki's cooking was just that potent. Anyway... this guy almost lived in the bathroom all night, and it was the kind where even medicine didn't work! It wasn't just Mu Tianyuan alone; even the little fox and Miss Meow, who only had one bite, were tormented for half the night.
The only thing they had over Mu Tianyuan was that they were done by midnight, while Mu Tianyuan kept going until 3 AM. If Mu Tianyuan hadn't relied on his military knowledge to make some emergency rehydration salts, he would have been dehydrated and shriveled...
But even with the emergency rehydration salts, to be honest, they didn't do much: the absorption wasn't as fast as the loss! Mu Tianyuan looked at Ran Mouri and Sonoko Suzuki, who were looking at him with concern, and couldn't help but sigh. Then he slumped onto the table, half-dead, and said to Ran: "Ran-chan, can I ask you something? Does Aunt Eri never picky about food?"
"Huh?"
Ran was stunned by Mu Tianyuan's question, then looked at him in confusion: "Mu-kun, why are you asking that?"
"I just want to know if Aunt Eri has ever found anything unpalatable, something she couldn't eat."
Mu Tianyuan took a gulp from a thermos he had prepared, filled with his homemade rehydration salts, then looked at Ran and said: "You know, Aunt Eri was eating her own cooking yesterday as if it was the most delicious thing..."
"Uh, now that you mention it, she always seems to be like that..."
Ran thought for a moment, her expression strange as she replied. Hearing Ran say this, Mu Tianyuan remained silent for a long time, then once again took a large gulp of rehydration salts and looked sadly at the classroom ceiling: "To think I've wandered the jianghu for so many years, capable of riding the winds and waves of even the biggest storms, yet I never expected to fall victim to a single meal today. If this were a Hongmen Banquet, that would be one thing, at least I'd fall with dignity. But for a simple home-cooked meal to bring me to this state, I'm unwilling..."
Mu Tianyuan was truly unwilling. This was an unfair fall! He thought, if it were even a scenario where a cup was smashed as a signal, and five hundred swordsmen and axemen burst in to chop him into dumpling filling, he'd accept it. But what was this all about?! "Mu-kun, are you alright?"
Ran and Sonoko looked at Mu Tianyuan, who was sadly staring at the ceiling, and asked with concern. Then Ran added: "How about we ask the teacher for leave and take you to the hospital or infirmary?"
"No need, I'm much better. Speaking of which, the truly tragic one is Kazuha. She only had one bite, and her symptoms were much milder than mine, yet she's still holed up at home."
Mu Tianyuan shook his head and muttered sympathetically. At least he could still get up. And while the little fox was also listless, at least it could still hold on. But the unfortunate one was Miss Meow. Although she was the most energetic at the very beginning...
...But now she was the most miserable one. Miss Meow was still holed up in her bed when Mu Tianyuan left in the morning... Then Mu Tianyuan suddenly remembered something and immediately looked at Ran: "Ran-chan, later: give Aunt Eri a call, see if she's alright."
Then, without waiting for Ran's reaction, Mu Tianyuan spoke to himself: "Even a strong young man like me is like this right now. I'm afraid Aunt Eri won't be much better, and might even be worse..."
"Uh, that makes sense..."
Ran looked at the situation and then thought about her own mother, immediately becoming worried. Then, before class started, Ran decided to find a place to call her mother. Seeing Ran about to make the call, Mu Tianyuan quickly reminded her: "Just ask about Aunt Eri's health. Absolutely don't mention my situation, you know? I'm afraid Aunt Eri will blame herself if she knows that her meal almost wiped out our entire family of three."
Hearing Mu Tianyuan's words, Ran let out an "uh" then nodded with a strange expression: "I know..."
After Ran left, Sonoko looked at Mu Tianyuan and said: "Are you alright?"
"Probably. Anyway... I think I've pulled through. At most, the after-effects are a bit severe. At most, it's just... feeling weak all over, a bit wobbly when walking, and other minor issues. I estimate I'll be fine in two days."
Mu Tianyuan answered feebly, then raised his thermos and chugged it. After finishing, Mu Tianyuan took out another thermos from his bag... Seeing Mu Tianyuan's posture, Sonoko peeked into his bag. Her already somewhat speechless expression turned into a black line as she looked at Mu Tianyuan: "Why did you bring so much water?"
Mu Tianyuan's bag contained nothing but bottles of water. Although Sonoko didn't clearly see how many there were, she was sure there were at least ten bottles! "I'm dehydrated from diarrhea right now, so I need to replenish fluids in time."
Mu Tianyuan explained, then said with a tragic expression: "And, recently, I don't want to eat anything. At least not today..."
"Then aren't you hungry? I have a lunchbox for lunch. Why don't you eat some first?"
Although Sonoko was a bit of a lovesick airhead, she wasn't a spoiled rich girl and had a kind heart. Otherwise, she wouldn't be such good friends with Ran. Now, seeing Mu Tianyuan's miserable state, Sonoko, as his childhood friend, immediately decided to give her lunchbox to Mu Tianyuan.
"No need. Today, I really don't want to eat anything. I think drinking some homemade rehydration salts to replenish fluids is good enough..."
Mu Tianyuan feebly waved his hand, refusing Sonoko's kindness. Hearing Mu Tianyuan's words, Sonoko curiously reached for the thermos in Mu Tianyuan's hand and looked at it: "Does this thing work?"
"Who knows. Probably works..."
Mu Tianyuan answered, slumping back onto the table. Then Mu Tianyuan added: "Even if it doesn't work, at least it won't cause diarrhea. I'm telling you, I shudder every time I see a toilet now..."
Sonoko: "..."
How bad does diarrhea have to be to cause such psychological trauma? Not long after, Ran, who had gone to make a call, returned. Seeing Ran back, Mu Tianyuan asked curiously: "Ran-chan, how's Aunt Eri?"
"My mom, she..."
Ran hesitated with a strange expression, then said: "She's fine. She's currently at the office preparing materials for an upcoming court hearing..."
Mu Tianyuan: "...Aunt Eri is definitely not an ordinary person!"
Damn it, I'm a strong young man, and my body has been strengthened, yet I'm so dehydrated from diarrhea that I'm almost incapacitated. But Aunt Eri went to work as if nothing happened.
Is there any justice in this world?! Aunt Eri, have you considered our family of three's feelings when you do things like this? We don't ask you to be like us, but at least you should have some adverse reactions! At least a mutually assured destruction would make us feel better! Mu Tianyuan finally asked for leave and went home after enduring one more class.
After getting home, he mostly lay in bed recovering, except for getting up to use the bathroom. Ran and Sonoko did come to visit Mu Tianyuan in the afternoon after school. Ran even invited Mu Tianyuan to eat at their house, but Mu Tianyuan was still recovering and didn't want to go anywhere, so he ultimately refused Ran's invitation.
It wasn't until past 8 PM that Mu Tianyuan finally cooked some millet porridge for himself, the little fox, and Miss Meow for dinner. After finishing the porridge, Miss Meow slumped on the coffee table listlessly: "Can we never eat at that woman's house again, meow? If there's really no food, we can go look in the trash can. Anything found in the trash can is better than her food..."
"Don't worry. With this experience, if I don't learn my lesson next time, I'll be a pig," Mu Tianyuan said, reaching out and stroking Miss Meow seriously. One lesson was enough. Who would want to try it a second time? The next day, although Mu Tianyuan didn't feel fully recovered, he was at least much stronger than yesterday.
So, after breakfast, Mu Tianyuan weakly shuffled to school. After arriving at school, Ran and Sonoko, after asking about Mu Tianyuan's condition, immediately resumed their usual gossiping. Sonoko seemed to have an endless supply of rumors.
Right now, Sonoko was gossiping mysteriously with Mu Tianyuan and Ran: "You know the Medieval Art Museum? I heard there's an armor there that can walk by itself! They say the owner of that armor died in battle against an enemy, but he was unwilling, so his soul possessed that armor. To continue fighting enemies, that armor wanders the museum every night!"
Mu Tianyuan, slumped at his desk, heard Sonoko's latest urban legend and sat up straight, nodding seriously: "An armored warrior who died before achieving his goals and whose soul cannot rest?"
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