Liebe said, "Well, you two are back early. Considering how much you two enjoy fighting, I expected it to be longer."
Alysa said, "To be precise, my calculations stated about another 3 hours, 56 minutes, 43 seconds, and 3 nanoseconds."
Lichee said, "Yeah, that… Can you call Gelda? I want to go back to HQ and talk to Lilith."
Liebe said, "No, you are far too naive. Do you want a fistfight or something?"
Lichee said, "No, no, I just want to talk."
Liebe said, "Talk about what? Mother is busy for the next 5 days. Tomorrow is—"
Lichee said, "Stop the yapping! I heard already. It's just BS. I'm sure someone like her should have more important tasks than daycares and doctor's appointments."
Liebe said, "We all have our own responsibilities."
Lichee said, "Come on, Liebe, even you know this is BS. How many times did she have to bother with these same mundane things when you were 2?"
Liebe said, "None. None at all. In fact, till now, she changed my diapers exactly 7 times. But I had a father, and Gelda wasn't a vice-captain. Marks doesn't have a father, and Gelda has better things to do since she is a vice-captain now. Raising a child is no easy feat."
Lichee said, "Do you hear yourself? Do you hear him, Alysa? Mommy, please tell him how stupid he sounds."
Alysa said, "Well, it's hard to believe, I know, but it matters."
Liebe said, "The fact of the matter remains unchanged: the Captain has better things to do as a member of the 25 Princes than hearing about our mundane affairs from you. Okay? You have to accept that a mundane conversation about how our day went, or what we did, doesn't concern those at the pinnacle of the world who decide what the fate of humanity itself will be."
Lichee said, "Fine."
As Lichee and Alysa were talking, Alysa said, "Sorry Liebe scolded you. To Liebe, Lilith is both a mother and someone he looks up to as an idol. Now that Lilith has decided to be a mother—just not to him—he can't accept it. And, well, now she is an idol to him; someone he looks up to: the Empress. The one who isn't some goddamn single mother taking care of a child. He looks up to and pledged his loyalty to the Empress because of all she represents as the ultimate warrior who never bows or loses to anyone in the world. And to continue being the almighty Empress she has always been—the Empress. That's who holds his bow: the Goddess of Strength and Destruction."
Lichee said, "I understand."
Alysa said, "So you will listen?"
Lichee said, "Oh, hell no."
Alysa just laughed and said, "Wow, you really are a copy of Liebe from, like, 10 years ago. I'm glad. I'm glad that even though I don't exist in the future, Liebe was able to preserve this child in you."
Lichee said, "Thanks."
M said, "That isn't a compliment."
Lichee said, "What?"
Alysa said, "Don't listen to her, honey."
Meanwhile, still in the kitchen, Licht said, "Well, that certainly was intense, Boss."
Liebe said, "I really am not a fan of the sarcasm."
Licht said, "No sarcasm. Just suggesting maybe a slightly lower amount of intensity would be appreciated, since you know how much I love my mid-lunch naps, and, well, sounds can be distracting."
Liebe said, "You done with riddles?"
Licht said, "Well, all I'm simply suggesting is that perhaps you are new to being a father. Of course, I know better than anyone how you can basically be called the daddy world champion."
Liebe said, "At this point, just say it."
Licht said, "All I'm saying is she will get herself killed like this."
Licht said, "I agree wholeheartedly, but we still exist."
Liebe said, "Your point?"
Licht said, "All I'm suggesting is that she has an escort, and scolding won't help."
Liebe said, "Well, I guess that's how Mom treated me, so…"
Licht said, "Yeah, you did everything and still got scolded for the tiniest things. But that isn't right, you know."
Liebe said, "I just…"
Licht said, "I'm not saying your mother was wrong or anything, but—and I mean a huge butt, like an XL-ass-level butt—the only flaw is: how is your relationship with your mother?"
Liebe laughed and said, "Fine. You are right."
Licht said, "Now get that ass going and apologize to the kid, and let M babysit her."
Liebe said, "Damn. Okay, then."
As he went to the deck, Liebe said, "Well, kid, I'm sorry."
Lichee said, "And?"
Liebe said, "I apologize."
Lichee said, "And?"
Liebe said, "I was being an asshole."
Alysa said, "Yeah, that should be it."
Lichee said, "And?"
Liebe said, "Fine. A huge asshole."
Lichee said, "Good. Now make me a portal."
Liebe said, "Not yet. First, take this sack."
Lichee said, "What is it?"
Liebe said, "My this month's financial support."
Licht said, "Oh, god. How much is it?"
Fate stated, "Exactly 14,500 gold coins."
Lichee said, "That much?"
Liebe said, "Of course. Even if I'm no longer a Faust in name, it's still my responsibility as the man of the house to ensure they don't have to worry financially, at least."
Licht said, "God damn. Stop. How long have you been doing this?"
Liebe said, "About 7 years now."
Licht said, "Dude, you send 14,500 gold every month to the Faust estate?"
Liebe said, "Yeah. Why are you surprised? It's my responsibility."
Licht said, "Dude, do you know how much that is?"
Liebe said, "Well, a captain's salary is 500 gold, so this is about 28X."
Licht said, "I get that, but why? Why this much? 500 gold a month is enough to keep a family of 5 comfortable for like 3 or 4 months, with the ability to go on a vacation abroad twice a year."
Liebe said, "Listen, Dad and Grandpa aren't around, and I'm doing what I should. And children cost quite a lot; I'm seeing that with Lichee."
Licht said, "Lichee is 17, and you literally give her 100 gold wherever she goes."
Liebe said, "Mother already has plenty on her plate as a captain, and taking care of a 2-year-old alone is harsh."
Licht said, "Let's talk finance. Okay, that kid literally goes to the most daycare in the world, remember? In the Empire. And the Empire is 3000 km from Eldoria, and the price is 7,000 gold a month. Not to mention, you need spatial magic users just for taking him to and from class, and I doubt one can do this every day, 365 days a year."
Liebe said, "There are 7."
Licht said, "So why the hell does this kid get everything handed to him on a silver platter?"
Liebe said, "That is not my concern. All I have to do is ensure they don't have to worry about the bill."
Licht said, "You do know the kid is getting spoiled on your wallet."
"Good free marketing for me," Liebe said.
Licht said, "Sorry, how?"
Liebe said, "Simply put, if people compare, who do you think people in general will prefer: a spoiled brat, or someone who is a hero? Even if the news of me funding them gets leaked, what did I do? Took care of my mother and half-brother."
Licht said, "You are too good."
Liebe said, "I am." As he snapped his fingers, Gelda came through and said, "You asked for me, Lord Liebe?"
Liebe said, "Take M and Lichee to HQ."
Gelda said, "Understood."
Liebe said, "Good. And here is this month's support."
Gelda said, "I will ensure it is spent wisely."
Liebe said, "Don't bother. If you require more, simply ask."
Gelda said, "Of course."
As they went through the portal, Alysa said, "I don't know what's harder for you: being a son or a father."
Liebe said, "At this point, I don't know."
Licht said, "Dude, at this point, I'm pretty sure a heart attack will kill you."
Liebe said, "Good."
Alysa said, "Don't worry, I checked last night when you were sleeping; your heart is just fine."
Liebe said, "You snuck into our room just for that?"
Alysa said, "Of course."
Licht said, "I wish you guys knew the meaning of the word 'privacy.'"
Meanwhile, at the HQ, Gelda said, "So, what do you need?"
Lichee said, "Where is Lilith? I got her tickets for tomorrow's match."
Gelda said, "Lilith's schedule is packed tomorrow."
Lichee said, "Yeah, yeah, we all know. Don't bore me. Where is she?"
Gelda said, "Faust estate."
Lichee said, "But today is a weekday."
Gelda said, "Ask the Captain."
Lichee said, "Then let's go to the Faust estate."
As they came to the Faust estate, M said, "You two go. I have personal business to take care of."
Gelda said, "Won't you at least come in?"
M said, "Unfortunately, no. But I will be back in time to take back Lichee."
Lichee said, "Sure."
As they opened the door and entered, mashed carrots were thrown in her face.
Lichee said, "Whoever did that, I will murder them!"
Gelda wiped her face. "Calm down, calm down, calm down. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. You are supposed to be mature. You are representing Liebe, so just calm down."
Lichee said, "Yeah… I feel much better. Well, bad luck happens. Nothing wrong with that. No point in killing for carrots."
As she opened the door again, this time lobster risotto hit her. As Lichee closed the door again, she said, "Who is the ugly son of a—that is goddamn wasting so much food! And this risotto thing smells amazing, but why the hell is it covered in saliva?"
Gelda said, "Calm down. You are here to deliver tickets. Calm down. Deep breaths. Smile, smile."
Lichee said, "Yeah, you're right. Third time's a charm. Nothing to worry about. We will go in, give the tickets, ask her to come to Hazen for tomorrow's match. Why am I getting angry? If I see what is throwing food in my face, I will just punch it and solve things through dialogue."
As she opened the door again, this time a gold bar hit her in the head and knocked her to the ground. As she was bleeding, Gelda said, "Spatial magic: Lost Pinnacle." As she healed Lichee, Lichee stood up and said, "Okay, okay. I see how it is. Whoever this asshole is that's throwing stuff in my face, I will rip their skulls out!" As she rolled up her sleeves and barged in the door, she was sprayed in the face by vomit.
Gelda said, "Um, Lichee…"
Lichee said, "Fuck Lichee. Fuck Lilith. First, I will murder the asshole who is doing this to me, then I will goddamn give the tickets."
Gelda said, "Are you okay?"
Lichee said, "I'm fine. I'm goddamn fine. I'm goddamn perfectly fine, and I will be better after a murder. I will goddamn paint a portrait of the asshole with his blood. Now, Void Magic: Summon Abyssal Gate!" As she barged in, this time it was steaks, which turned into dust upon contact with the abyssal gate.
Lichee said, "Goddamn, finally!"
Inside, Lilith was attempting to feed a 2-year-old Marks anything—anything—he was willing to eat.
Lichee said, "Okay, now tell me: what the hell is happening?"
Lilith said, "Routine. He is throwing a temper tantrum. In 2 days, he has a playdate with the girl he is having issues with at the daycare, and so he isn't going today. Jerd here was supposed to make a portal, but Marks isn't willing to go."
As Lichee took a long sigh of relief, she said, "Okay, I see the issue. A temper tantrum, huh? I get it, I get it. Don't worry, Gelda and I will handle it. We will play a game."
Lilith said, "Oh, good to see you are getting along here."
Lichee said, "Of course."
Lilith said, "What game?"
Lichee said, "Let me show you." As she grabbed Marks by the leg and held him upside down on one leg, Lichee said, "Let me show you. First of all, we will take this asshole here, okay? And I promise this game will quiet him down. Now, we take it outside like the corpse this is, and we throw it as far as we goddamn can. If it dies, too bad. Should have goddamn taken the carrots and kept its barf where it belongs. Okay, Gelda, let me go first. I swear I won't throw it any less than to Liebe's address. Okay, then! Let Liebe decide." As she was ready to throw Marks across nations, Gelda said, "Calm down! Calm down! Deep breaths. This… look at this creature. It's far too naive to comprehend your strength. The weak don't know how to worship you. Of course, you are far too generous to let this affect you."
Lichee said, "You know… yeah. No point in letting something this annoying ruin my day."
Gelda said, "You see?"
Lilith said, "Wow, this really is violent."
As Lichee was about to turn Marks around and place him on the ground, he farted in Lichee's face. Seeing this, Gelda said, "Calm down! Calm down! Deep breaths! Tickets…"
Lichee said, "Gelda, give me the coordinates to this idiot's daycare."
Gelda said, "Why?"
Lichee said, "Because fuck his temper tantrums. I'm about to make sure he stays in class—manually."
Gelda said, "But the Empire is 3000 km away."
Lichee said, "Give me the coordinates. I will send this brat to hell."