Quiet some time has passed since then.
Kindergarten is behind me, and I'll be starting elementary school soon. Looking back, I have to say—I got lucky. For all their quirks and chaos, Mitch and Cam turned out to be exactly the kind of parents I needed. Cam especially has a habit of dressing up—sometimes as a clown, sometimes as a cowboy, and once… as a tap-dancing penguin. I honestly have no idea where he gets the outfits, but it works. I laugh. And that seems to be enough for him.
I didn't ask for a lot—no tantrums for toys, no sugar-high rampages in stores—but I did enjoy carnival rides way too much. The spinning teacups? Top-tier. Cam threw up after our third round, but I had the time of my life.
Meanwhile, I started asking Mitch about his job. You know, lawyer stuff. I expected him to brush me off, but to my surprise, he explained things in kid-terms. I learned about "contracts," "litigation," and "objection" long before Phoenix Wright ever made it cool.
Kindergarten went smoothly. My grades were good, though it's hard to say that matters when we're learning the alphabet and how not to eat glue. Still, Alex and I ended up in a weird kind of rivalry—both of us constantly topping the class in anything academic. I think she saw me as a worthy opponent. I mostly just enjoyed watching her get flustered when I scored higher.
Then came The Test.
Out of curiosity (and maybe suspicion), Mitch and Cam took me to get an IQ test. Cam was concerned about how mature I acted—too serious, too observant. I didn't play like other kids. Honestly? I tried to fake it. I tried to act like a kid. But being a reincarnated soul with a mental interface made that impossible.
Anyway, I scored a 152. Genius level.
Cam was shook.
He started worrying I'd never enjoy my childhood. The doctors told them it was probably because of my background—time in the orphanage, emotional maturity, and the intelligence thing combined.
I only found out later in life that they suspected something was off.
And to be fair, something was.
Because here's the thing: sometimes, I wonder if my templates bleed into my personality. I'm calm and strategic like Jane, instinctual and gutsy like Tal, and... okay, maybe somewhat lazy like Kazuma. But the three of them are all quirky, weird, and weirdly fun people. So why am I so composed?
Well, at least Cam's worries eased when I picked up an unexpected hobby.
Magic.
Not the fireball kind (unfortunately), but card tricks, sleight of hand, coin vanishes. I was hooked. I watched videos, read books, and practiced for hours. One day, I showed Cam a disappearing card trick. He clapped like I had solved world peace. Mitch, deadpan as ever, muttered, "Great. Another magician in the family."
"Wait, another?" I asked.
"Oh, didn't we tell you? Phil used to do magic."
My face went cold.
Oh no.
I completely forgot Phil Dunphy was a magician. How could I, of all people, forget that?
On our next visit to the Dunphy's/
I marched up to Phil the moment we arrived.
"Teach me magic."
His eyes sparkled like I'd just offered him the Holy Grail.
"YES!"
And just like that, I had a new mentor.
Phil didn't just teach—he performed. He showed me card manipulations, levitating rings, disappearing scarves, rubber pencil illusions, even how to do a basic palm pass and force pick. We worked with coin rolls, sleight-of-hand vanishes, fake thumbs, magician's wax—he had everything.
My favorites?
The French Drop: I made a coin disappear mid-air.
The Double Lift: I showed one card, revealed another.
The Rising Card Trick: Cam actually screamed. High-pitched. Not proud.
The "Cut & Restored Rope": Classic. Worked on Lily years later.
The "Floating Bill": Took a while, but even Mitch couldn't figure it out.
The Classic Top Hat Bunny Trick: Phil insisted. We used a plush bunny. Still counts.
Phil treated me like Yoda treats Luke, minus the green skin and riddles. He'd randomly yell things like, "USE THE MYSTIQUE, RYAN," and "A magician never reveals his lunch—or his secrets!"
Over the years, I actually got certified by the local Magic Association. Beginner Level—Child Division. Phil wept.
Halloween became my personal stage.
Claire and I teamed up. Say what you want about her, but that woman has a mean prankster streak. Cam walked into a bathroom once to find what looked like a zombie version of me rising from the bathtub. Screamed like a banshee. Mitch dropped his wine.
Haley caught us laughing and swore revenge. She didn't know I already rigged her closet to explode glitter the moment she said "I'm going out." She said it five minutes later. Instant sparkle demon.
Anway what next ya
My rock-paper-scissors dominance continued. It got bad. I was banned from playing it in kindergarten. Teachers included. The final straw was when I beat all 3 staff members blindfolded. A challenge issued by visiting kids from another kindergarten was approved… I beat them too.
The nickname "The Phenomenon" stuck. Phil was proud. Mitch was exasperated. Cam kept suggesting I turn it into a Vegas act.
Somewhere around that time, I noticed something new.
[Status Screen Updated]
Current Templates:
Mikhail Tal – Beginner (210 / 10,000)
(+100) Mid-game intuition developing. Bold sacrifice instincts improving. Occasionally sees deep tactical ideas in chaotic positions.
Kazuma Satou – Intermediate (10 / 10,000)
(+710) Template Rank: INTERMEDIATE. Basic luck increased.. Mild danger sensing activated. 100% Luck for Rock Paper Scissors , Minor Luck boost and concentration increase for any game .
Patrick Jane – Beginner (170 / 15,000)
(+150) Enhanced observational awareness. Emotional reading improving. Minor influence from performing magic tricks: understanding deception as a tool. Confidence and presence during "performances" now noted.
My Kazuma template capped at 1000 EXP—and then something happened. A ripple in the interface. A slight flash. Then a message.
[Template: Kazuma Satou has evolved to INTERMEDIATE!]
With that came subtle but meaningful changes. I felt a new kind of awareness—a minor danger sense, like my body could feel something was "off" before my brain caught up. My focus during games sharpened too—slightly longer attention span, quicker intuition. Small boosts, but noticeable.
This was the first clear evidence that templates don't just grow—they transform. I must be unlocking traits that reflect the essence of the characters. If Kazuma gave me danger-sense and risk analysis… I wonder what lies further down Jane and Tal's paths.
Maybe Jane will unlock full-blown lie detection or mimicry of mentalist techniques.
Maybe Tal will someday let me visualize entire chess combinations in seconds.
One thing's for sure: the EXP system isn't linear. I noticed Rock-Paper-Scissors no longer gives reliable +1s. Maybe 1 EXP per 20 games, if that. Looks like repetitive tasks give diminishing returns. Makes sense. I'll need new methods—more creative, more challenging ways—to level up the templates from here.
The grind is on. And honestly? I'm excited for what's next.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Comic Strip 1: "The Magic Mentor: Phil Dunphy as Yoda"
Scene title: "Dunphy the Magnificent"
Panel 1:
Setting: The Dunphy living room. Phil wears a magician's robe and holds a wand like a lightsaber. Ryan stands with a deck of cards.
Phil: "A magician's strength flows from mystery and misdirection."
Ryan: "...Are you quoting Yoda?"
Phil: "Shhh. Let the Mystique guide you, young apprentice."
Panel 2:
Phil kneels dramatically, holding out a fake rabbit.
Phil: "To summon the bunny, you must become the bunny."
Ryan (deadpan): "That's not how this works."
Phil: "It is now."
Panel 3:
Ryan performs a clean card switch. Phil gasps in awe.
Phil: "My boy... that was beautiful."
Ryan: "You taught me well, Master."
They both raise their hands and high-five like Jedi.
Comic Strip 2: "Prank War: Claire and Ryan vs. Mitch" Scene title: "Operation Fridge Phantom"
Panel 1:
Claire and Ryan huddle at night with flashlights and plans.
Claire: "Okay, he opens the fridge at 8:05 sharp for his oat milk."
Ryan: "I've rigged the ketchup bottle to squirt from the ceiling vent."
Claire: "Genius. Let's ruin breakfast."
Panel 2:
Next morning. Mitch, half-asleep, opens the fridge. A fake ghost face made from cotton balls and LEDs swings down. Simultaneously, red "ketchup blood" drips from above.
Mitch (screaming): "WHY IS MY MILK HAUNTED?!"
Panel 3:
Ryan and Claire high-five from behind the kitchen island. Cam walks in holding toast.
Cam: "Are we… just accepting the house is possessed now?"
Claire: "Only during halloween."
Panel 4:
Mitch is now looking up at the ceiling with a mop.
Mitch: "You two are monsters."
Ryan (smirking): "Should i call you a Wambulance."
Claire winks. Cam sighs.