"I've already given him a serious talking-to."
Rasa sat back down, expression stern.
"No matter the event, Sunagakure always pursues fairness and integrity. We believe in being honest, doing things right. It's just like our 'Will of Sand'—discipline, self-reliance, self-confidence, respect for elders, care for the young, and a passion for learning!"
"..."
Will of Sand, huh.
Danzō looked silently at Rasa, unsure how to respond.
(What the hell does any of that have to do with sand? It doesn't even mention wind!)
Expressionless, he nodded.
"…Mm."
And said nothing more, turning his attention back to the competition.
"Currently in the lead is Uchiha Itachi of Konoha's Uchiha clan. His 4WD car—Kizuna," Tobi lazily narrated, casually picking at his toes. "The Uchiha—one of Konoha's strongest clans, famed for their powerful bloodline limit, the Sharingan. Its users can perceive chakra, copy techniques, cast and break genjutsu, and more."
"Just look at the Kizuna's serpentine drift pattern—left, right, zigzag—it's definitely Sharingan-level stuff."
He sighed dramatically.
"A truly unbelievable kekkei genkai~"
"..."
Unbelievable my ass!
The audience stared speechlessly at the car, which, aside from some flashy decals with the Uchiha crest, was just darting oddly across the track.
(What's this got to do with a bloodline technique?!)
"Coming in right behind him is… oh! That sweet, adorable little one! Even while racing, he refuses to let go of his pet tanuki! So moving!"
"I swear I'm gonna kill that bastard!" growled Shukaku, curled up in his black iron kettle.
"Look closely, folks! Check out that car! The raw power! The elegant wheelbase! The well-balanced track width! It's fierce and dynamic, and at the same time, it shows off Sunagakure's brilliant design sense! Those curves follow human aesthetics—and that gray-and-black striped finish… just screams nobility!"
Having finished picking his toes, Tobi suddenly sprang to life, slapping the table with excitement.
"I knew from the start this car wasn't ordinary! Look at that jump—what's this?! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight—eight tiny cars just shot out from it, blocking the track behind!"
"What will the others do now?"
With a gloating smile:
"Panic? Confusion? Despair? Will they give up?"
"No—wait! Someone isn't backing down. Who is it? Who?!"
Tobi shouted theatrically.
"Golden hair! It's Uzumaki Naruto from Konoha! He's not giving up! Gritting his teeth, charging forward! His Naruto Racer is launching an all-out assault! Even in the face of hopeless odds, he refuses to yield!"
He casually picked his nose.
"Too bad… it's not working. That wall of eight mini-cars is like an iron fortress—no way through. Oh? Wait a minute—what's this? Kizuna is slowing down. Out of power? Not enough lube? Even Uchiha Itachi seems to be slowing. What's he planning?"
"Wait—what's that? Tiny… kunai?!"
"Two miniature kunai just shot out of Kizuna's rear wing! Is he… is he actually attacking those little cars?!"
"So that was the plan all along!"
Tobi let out a dramatic sigh and shook his head.
"So sneaky!"
WHAM!
He slammed the table again.
"Doesn't he have any sense of sportsmanship?! Using ninja tools—what a disgrace!"
The crowd immediately responded—
"BANG! BANG! BANG!"
"CLAP CLAP CLAP!" (but not applause—more like garbage being hurled)
More trash flew toward the commentator's booth.
With this level of blatant double standards, no wonder everyone was fed up.
Rasa looked at the commentary stand—now practically buried in trash—with a deadpan expression.
This wasn't the fair and honest competition he wanted. If other villages started suspecting Sunagakure of rigging matches, what would happen next time?
He glanced over at Danzō, who was already scowling, clearly displeased. Say what you will about the man—he hated the Uchiha, sure—but he still knew how to protect Konoha's reputation when in public.
Sighing in frustration, Rasa turned to a nearby ninja.
"Get a cross and tie that guy to it. Sunagakure stands for honesty and credibility. We don't tolerate this kind of nonsense. Make sure he actually does his job as host."
"Yes, sir!"
"YES! IT'S HIM! IT'S HIM! THERE'S NO DOUBT!"
Now tied to a wooden cross, Tobi didn't seem fazed at all. He continued yelling into the mic.
"The blockade has finally been broken! Only three of the eight mini-cars remain—too few to hold back the racers. What a shame!"
He sighed dramatically again—then immediately perked up.
"But don't give up, little fatty—you're still our cutest contestant!"
"The Naruto Racer has caught up and taken second place! As for Kizuna... what's going on there? Still slowing down. Is it… really out of power?"
"Oh, wait—who's that? Who's coming up behind?!"
"It's Uchiha Sasuke! Another Uchiha! And the younger brother of Kizuna's driver! What a heartwarming display—he was waiting for his little brother all along!"
"But with just that Onii-chan-Go of his—what a name, seriously—there's no way he'll win. Poor guy's been dead last since the beginning. He's not even faster than that reckless Naruto Racer ."
"Onii-chan~"
Little Sasuke looked up at his smiling older brother standing beside him.
"I-I…"
"It's alright. Don't listen to that idiot," Itachi said gently, shaking his head. "Kizuna just fired off its kunai—hasn't recovered yet."
Besides… between Uchiha pride and Naruto's dream, Itachi knew who deserved to win.
"No rush."
"Mm!"
Little Sasuke nodded trustingly, his big eyes shining.
"Big brother is the strongest."
Meanwhile...
"Look at this! What do we see again?!"
That same irritating voice rang out.
"It's the Naruto Racer! Again! Does this car know how to do anything but charge forward like a maniac?!"
"Another turn—and again, it jumps straight over! What does it think this is, Blitz Racer?!"
"Oh no! It failed! The Naruto Racer derailed! I knew it—going for flashy stunts always backfires!"
Tobi let out a theatrical sigh and pointed to Naruto, who had just cried out "Naruto Racer!" and was now scrambling to dig the vehicle out of the sand, brushing dust off its wheels.
"One racer… two… three… seven racers have now passed him. Can the Naruto Racer still return to the race?!"
"Find out after the break—stay tuned!"
Elsewhere, in 9th place...
Kankurō: "..."
Why isn't he talking about me?!