"Wouldn't you go out with your dumb roomie in this mesmerizing pink moonlight?" I blurted out impulsively.
I don't know what on this freaking Earth I was thinking about when I said that confessional shit. Fuck! Why does she seem... disgusted? Help, God! Send your angels to fetch me this instant! Oh, the embarrassment!
"As if... I wouldn't!" she replied.
As soon as those words came out of her mouth, my balls returned to their sweet home, all the way up from my mouth.
"Bet if I'd be alive by then," I mumbled at light-speed.
"What did you say?"
"Uh... nothing?" I coughed, trying to act confused.
Before I could utter another word, she grabbed my hand while blinking at me.
"Now get up, Dork! If you don't wanna get dragged like a suitcase," she giggled.
It was more sweet than a mere order. Was it a threat? Or something more? I wasn't given my right to overthink; in the end, she basically dragged me out of the room like an animal.
The first step out almost felt like I had stepped into heaven. I was met with the most enchanting view a human could ever experience.
It was an absolutely mesmerizing deep-pink night sky with stars scattered all across. The breeze was sweeter than any elixir, and I could hear nothing but my heartbeat.
As soon as the first ray of moonlight fell on her face, her eyes shone brighter than any star that I have ever seen... must be a majestic phenomenon!
We didn't speak a single word while strolling through the street; the sky grew darker and darker. We were at an intersection of two alleys lit with sharp yellow street-lights; it was almost as if I were in one of my dreams—a déjà vu, I guess?
Oh! While I was zoned out, she was literally dragging me.
"Hmmph?" she asked.
"Nothing, it's just me getting sleepy," I replied.
"Then let's head to the convenience store nearby and grab something," she suggested.
"Yeah, let's grab a coffee!" I replied.
We walked down the streets looking for a store still open. After a bit of an intense search, we finally entered a convenience store with lights still glowing just opposite our apartment, probably the only store open. After stepping in, I noticed the clock. It was 2:45 a.m.; it was really so fucking late.
I headed to the "Beverages" section while she was picking some dark chocolates for herself. I went to checkout my items—that's when I noticed something fishy. Near the counter, the cashier girl radiating an "I don't give a f*ck" vibe was surrounded by two tall and jacked men with luggage in their hands, which seemed like something not so normal.
My first and promising thought was to... run. Hell yeah, I'm a very fucking coward! But hey, guess what? At least I came in one piece.
"Remila?" I mumbled, thinking that we should fall back as fast as we could. While I saw her tear open some green-colored sachet, I said to myself, "I'm so very much fucked."
And...
POOF!! BAM! BAM!
As far as I could process, I realized that one of the guys, bald with a tattoo carved on his face, had become a fully functional rolling-pin, crippled on the ground, screaming in agony—one hand covering his eyes and the other holding his 'family jewels,' oh! I mean 'ex-family jewels.' And the other guy, uhh... let him spend some time alone rubbing his eyes, fighting for them.
God, please forgive her behavior. I beg thee!
"Ahhh,What did you do to me!?" the rolling-pin guy yelped, still rubbing his eyes.
"Wasabi powder," I replied elegantly to that guy.
"Have some mercy on us, you wild demons!" he shrieked.
The other spiritless guy finally mumbled something: "We were just asking for directions to that cashier lady. We are new here," his hands still rubbing his eyes relentlessly.
Uhh, okay, so... umm, here's the rundown of the stuff that happened till now.
Remila, being an absolute "Diva," saw that poor lil 'idgaf' vibed cashier and thought that those guys were hitting on her, so to save that feeble soul, she rushed to the food section, grabbed a packet of "Extra Spicy Wasabi Powder," and boom! Surprise attacked those guys, peppering the whole content into their eyes, completely dazing them.
And I don't know why people hate bald-bearded and tattooed men. That poor soul got kicked into his family jewels so hard, I bet even in a kilometre radius, every man could've felt the pain. Rest in peace, baldie.
"Uhh, are you alright, idg-, I mean, miss cashier?" I asked her. She nodded completely unfazed and unhinged.
"50¢ for the wasabi powder and another $70 for the damages," the cashier shot right into my already penniless wallet, meanwhile Remila was making 'kawaii' faces as if I was the one who wronged those poor guys.
I clicked open my wallet with a treasure of 20 cents and a royal fly's kingdom.
"Never mind. I'll pay you later, roomie!" that 'kawaii' monster named Remila said as she darted her eyes toward my phone.
Ahh! More debt incoming, I thought as I turned and tapped my phone at the billing machine, and BAM! $87 flew away. But something was off... wait a second!... What??
"Where did the extra $16.50 drop in from?" Confused, I looked at Remila while her face was covered in a grin, as she shrugged. Then I turned toward the cashier.
"Have a nice day, sir!" With the least bit of enthusiasm, the cashier kicked us out of the store, leaving us on a chilly stone pavement in front of it like some abandoned little kittens. Ehh... so cold!! Remila started cursing the cashier as she was ungrateful to us for saving her. I then dragged her from there, covering her mouth.
We strolled through the lane; it was so quiet, not even a single light was burning except for the yellow street lamps, and every store was closed. The wind was getting colder and colder, and I had forgotten to wear my hoodie, so she had coiled herself around my arm. She was searching for a place to rest for some time, while I was lost in thought about Remila's beauty and savageness.
"That was quite a blast!" Remila sighed.
"Yeah, it definitely was!" I mumbled, utterly exhausted. Yes, as she said, it was quite the blast—both for her and that bald guy... well, however in different senses.
"Well, I didn't get the answer. How did $16.50 land on my broke ass?" I asked in an irritated voice.
"Hey, did you forget about our deal, blockhead?"
"What deal?" I shot back, then she suddenly tossed a can of "Kirley's Smoothest" right into my hands while we were walking. And... that was my "pull-that-all-nighter" buddy, potion and my favorite coffee.
For a while, she searched around for something, and after some time, came back dragging me to a nearby park. Believe me, the park was a lot quieter than it should have been. But I didn't have time to mind that.
"Here, come on, let's over sit there and have 'Family talks' while sipping our coffee," she suggested.
"Family talks"? I think she meant "roommate talks."
We sat on a cracked wooden bench, which, the hell, felt very cold, and the bench was throwing off a weird scent of a mixture of tree and soil.
Without much thought, we clicked open the can, and I chugged a sip of my potion.
"Haaa! Smooth and strong like none other," I relaxed on the bench.
"Isn't it??" she murmured. That's when I got reminded about Remila.
"Yep, it is!" I replied instantly.
"Hehe!" she giggled like a maniac.
"Hey, don't 'Hehe!' on me, you cute little monster," I said.
"Hehe, okay, I won't do that again!" she replied sarcastically.
"Whatever," I said.
"How's your prototype doing? Roomie, got any new ideas?" she asked.
"Well, it's going smooth for now, but I don't know. I'm stuck between perfection and scrap. And some financial mess, probably."
"Hey, don't worry! If you need any equipment or books, ask me. I'll try to get 'em," she said.
"Okay, Remi. Thank you very mu-"
"Oii!... Recall rule no.4: 'No sorry and no thank-you pact.' And also, it's not for free! You prepare food, bath, and... and do household chores for me every day."
What can I even say now? I'm literally a "male" housewife at this point.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever!" I sighed.
"What about your studies?" she asked.
"..."
"Hey... hey, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to force you or something," she said, her face filled with worry.
"I'm alright, and yeah, I'm working on it too," I replied with a hint of skepticism.
"That's great to hear!" Her face lit up.
"Let's deal with this together, no cap! Mr. Captain," she sprang up with a smile too pure for any human on her face.
"Yes, we will, Remi! And yeah, no cap!" I replied in a soft voice. That's when I realized how contagious her smile was... after many years, I felt a genuine smile on my always sulky face.
But hey, wait a sec... wait a sec. Aren't we sitting a little too close to each other right now?!!
Crap! I can't even move a muscle, and why is she looking at me like that and pouting? And why tf am I sweating bullets?? SHIT!!
Is this the same as what happens in those romantic, slice-of-life animes??
Ahh, I can't hold it anymore... I know that I haven't even brushed, and I'm a thousand percent sure my mouth smells like a rotten zombie. But it's not the time to hesitate. You need to be brake—uh, I mean brave.
After having an hour of self-affirmation sessions in my mind, I finally closed the distance between us. At this point, my whole body was shivering looking at her plush pink lips, while mine were trembling.
I closed my eyes and... 3...2...1.
THUD!
She fell right into my arms...
Uhm, Remila?... I shook her gently, and realized that she'd fallen asleep.
Haha, yeah, she was just sleepy due to all that fatigue after fighting off those guys. Nothing else, really... Haha, laugh-out-loud, YAY!!!...
FOR FUCK'S SAKEEEEE!!
WHY THIS HAPPENS ONLY WITH ME??!