by Prof. Giulia Mastrogiannini-Bongiorno, Ph.D. (probably)
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"If We Kiss, the World Ends" is either the greatest piece of surreal metafictional mystic romance ever written — or a prophecy smuggled inside a pasta joke.
At once Biblical, TikTokian, and deeply Italian in a way that makes you smell ghostly espresso, the novel unites memes, monsters, and metaphysics.
There are sharks in sneakers. There are ballerinas who bend gravity. There is a monkey who sells his soul twice and forgets both deals.
What begins as absurdity blooms into anguish, then romance, then cosmic annihilation by affection.
The climactic kiss didn't just end the world — it redefined genre, identity, and how we look at cartoon fruit with muscles.
Final verdict:"It changed me.I laughed.I cried.I barked 'TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR' in a church.My therapist said she's afraid of what I've become."
Read it.Then forget you ever did.Then read it again.