Kaelen's revelation—"I am his biological son"—still hung in the sterile air of the meeting room. The General cleared his throat, the CIA Director furiously scribbled on her datapad, and the President looked as if he had aged ten years in ten seconds.
"A son..." the President repeated, testing the word. "Rick Sanchez has a son." He shook his head in disbelief. "Alright. Alright, let's accept that... impossible premise for a moment."
His gaze shifted to Padmé, who had remained in dignified, regal silence throughout the interrogation, offering silent support to Kaelen.
"And you, Senator Amidala," the President continued, his tone becoming more formal. "What is your exact role in this... family dynamic? Rick described you as his 'ghost nephew's' wife. Are you this man's bodyguard? His political superior?"
Kaelen didn't let Padmé answer. He turned slightly in his seat and took her hand across the table, a gesture both possessive and tender. His cybernetic arm gleamed under the fluorescent light next to her pale skin.
"Padmé is neither my bodyguard nor my superior," Kaelen said, his voice clear and leaving no room for doubt. "She is my wife."
If the cabinet members were surprised before, now they were stunned.
"His... wife?" the General stammered. "But... she's a political figure from another galaxy and you're... well, you're Rick Sanchez's son. How...?"
"We met. We fell in love. We got married. The sequence of events is quite traditional, General, even in distant galaxies," Kaelen replied with a touch of his old irony.
The President leaned back in his chair, a strange expression beginning to form on his face. The tension was dissipating, replaced by the sheer, overwhelming absurdity of it all.
"So not only do I have the most dangerous man in the universe and his secret, superpowered son in my bunker," the President summarized, "but the son is married to space royalty. Is there anything else I should know? Do they have a robot dog? Are they planning to buy a house in the suburbs?"
Kaelen smiled. He saw the opportunity and took it. It was time to add the final piece to the puzzle, the one that would change the game entirely.
"We haven't discussed real estate yet, Mr. President," Kaelen said, his smile widening. "But we have discussed our future plans."
He looked at Padmé, and the love in his gaze was so intense it silenced the room.
"You see, our recent... stay... at a local motel was quite productive. So, in addition to everything else, it is very possible that my wife and I are expecting a child."
The silence that followed was so deep you could hear the hum of the bunker's servers.
Padmé blushed, but squeezed Kaelen's hand, silently confirming his words.
The President of the United States looked at Kaelen. Then he looked at Padmé. Then, his mind processed the genealogical chain of command. Kaelen was Rick's son. And Kaelen was going to have a child. Which meant...
A laugh.
It began as a snort, then a stifled chuckle, and finally, the President of the United States leaned back in his chair and let out a deep, booming laugh. The General and the CIA Director looked at him as if he had gone mad.
"Oh, my God!" the President said, wiping a tear from his eye. "Oh, this is too good!"
He stood up, his face filled with a malicious glee he hadn't shown in years. "Excuse me for a moment," he said to the room. "I have to... consult with our primary scientific asset."
The President walked out of the meeting room with a new spring in his step. He strode down the hall to the improvised lab where Rick was, reportedly, attempting to build a singularity cannon out of a coffee maker and a fire extinguisher.
He entered without knocking. Rick was turned away, cursing at a plasma welder.
"Sanchez!" the President said.
Rick spun around, annoyed. "What do you want now, talking head? I'm in the middle of a scientific breakthrough that might make your head... well, stop talking. Permanently."
The President grinned, the biggest, most genuine smile Rick had ever seen on him. He stepped closer, placed a friendly hand on Rick's shoulder, and leaned in as if to share a state secret.
"So..." he began, his voice filled with barely contained mirth. "I've been talking to your son. He's been catching me up on his... future plans."
Rick looked at him suspiciously. "So?"
The President leaned in a little closer, his grin widening almost to split his face.
"So, how about that... Grandpa Rick?"
The word hung in the air like a death sentence. Rick's face went blank. The plasma welder clattered from his hand, hitting the floor with a thud. All color drained from his face. The universe, with all its infinite, terrifying complexity, had just thrown the one thing, the one word, for which he had absolutely no defense.
Grandpa.
The most powerful man in the multiverse looked like he was about to vomit.