Chapter 60: Fear and Disappointment**
The morning in Cavite was serene, but I jolted upright in bed, awakened by a chilling nightmare. Memories of tragedies and the cries of countless people begging me for salvation haunted me.
Drenched in sweat and disoriented, I closed my eyes, trying to calm my racing mind. Nightmares had plagued me before, but in recent months, they'd grown more frequent, as if signaling the deteriorating state of my mental health.
The weight of my life's events clung to me like a shadow. In the condo unit I temporarily called home, I couldn't shake the memories of last night's battle on the darkened highway.
We had successfully thwarted the Katipunan's plan to disrupt Kawit and captured some rebels. Yet, despite this victory, one thing gnawed at me—Indang, the formidable envoy of Kawit.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, I gazed at the sunlight filtering through the window. The battle replayed vividly in my mind—the children's screams from Ursarion's monstrous form, Martin's grotesque appearance, and Indang's terrifying presence.
Those moments branded themselves into my consciousness like a relentless nightmare. I wasn't sure if it was trauma, but the mental stress was undeniable, seeping into my dreams, where I wrestled with the Katipunan, the Spaniards, and the Filipinos crying for help.
Indang lingered in my thoughts. As Laguna had said, she was extraordinarily powerful, but I hadn't anticipated how complicated dealing with her would be.
Last night, I tried to persuade her, but our conversation ended in misunderstanding. My emotions fueled tension, and now, the weight of my failure pressed heavily on me.
I couldn't help but question myself: Why did Indang let Martin escape? I knew she had the strength to end the fight. I'd seen her abilities—her buffs and debuffs that could halt anyone in their tracks.
She could have killed Martin, yet she let him slip through a portal. The chance to capture the man responsible for five hundred deaths slipped away, and the anger in my chest burned like an unquenchable fire. I wanted to confront her, demand answers, but her words from last night echoed, weighing on my mind.
"I have no stake in the conflict between the government and the Katipunan," she'd said, her voice icy. "I fought Martin for personal reasons, not to avenge dead Filipinos." Her words stung like a slap. How could she dismiss the lives of innocents?
How could she ignore those awaiting justice? Despite my anger, I forced myself to stay calm. I knew rage wouldn't sway her.
In my desire to understand her, I'd tried reasoning with her last night. "Indang," I pleaded, my voice earnest, "even if you won't join us as a soldier, can you help me fight Martin? This isn't about my loyalty to the Spaniards—it's about the innocent people caught in the Katipunan's chaos."
I explained that terrorist groups like the Katipunan were making life harder for Filipinos, rendering the peace we all craved impossible.
But her response only deepened my despair. "You don't need to explain, General," she said, her tone laced with boredom. "I know these things. My Master told me about them. Honestly, I know more than you do."
She added, "Sure, Martin's actions are evil, but I have no part in the problems he causes." Her words pierced my heart like a dagger. With a bold tone, I asked, "Can you really let innocents die when you have the power to save them?" Instead of answering directly, she laughed, her mockery cutting into my very being.
"Your concern for people is laughable," she said. "You let yourself be the Spaniards' lapdog, the very cause of this country's turmoil. Filipinos rebel because of Spanish oppression. No one wants chaos, and I'm sure you know why they feel driven to fight back.
I despise Spain, and that includes people like you who trade their own countrymen for luxury." Her words dripped with anger, and though I wanted to clarify I wasn't doing this for the Spaniards, she dismissed me.
"If you believe stopping the rebels is for the Filipinos' good, keep at it," she said. "But I don't care about others' justice or the lives of those unrelated to me. No one helped me when I needed it. No Spaniard or Filipino fought to save me from death."
She suddenly approached, grabbed my collar, and pulled me close, her eyes blazing with fury, as if she had more to say. After a moment, she forced herself to calm down and pushed me away. "This conversation is pointless. I don't want to escalate things with people like you."
She turned and walked away. I wanted to press her, explain further, but General Apyong stopped me, urging me to stand down. "Romeo, this is futile," he said, his voice authoritative yet tinged with concern. "I know how important capturing Martin is, but you can't convince Indang this way."
Apyong's words doused my burning emotions like cold water. Filled with disappointment and failure, I could only nod and let Indang leave.
Without hesitation, she leapt high into the air, vanishing like a shadow in the morning light. As I watched her go, my emotions churned—anger, disappointment, and an inexplicable desperation.
I knew I could hold my own against Martin, but I couldn't defeat him if he kept using innocents as shields. I needed help, and Indang was the only one who could aid me in this fight.
---
This morning, I decided to visit General Apyong at his office. He was one of the few I trusted with such matters. Like me, he'd chosen to become an honorary Spaniard to help Filipinos, and I knew he cared deeply for the nation. His office was a short drive from my condo in Kawit, so I arrived quickly.
His staff greeted me and led me to his office. Apyong sat in his wheelchair, busy signing documents. When he saw me, he offered a warm smile. "Good morning, Romeo!" he greeted. "I didn't expect you so soon after you said you wanted to meet. I thought you'd left Cavite last night."
"I can't leave until my plans are complete, General," I replied, my tone serious. "Martin escaped again, and I know he's plotting something worse. I can't let that happen."
Apyong nodded, his eyes understanding. "I'll look into the Katipunan's stronghold immediately," he said. "We'll find out where their weapons come from and whose territory they're operating in."
I agreed but added, "I'll stay in Cavite until I'm sure Martin's gone for good. We don't know when he'll strike again." After a brief silence, I couldn't hold back and asked directly, "General, can you help me find Indang?"
Apyong's expression shifted—he sighed and closed his eyes. Before he could respond, I explained, "I spoke to Laguna, and she said Indang could help against Martin. I know she's hard to convince, but we need her."
His response surprised me. "I understand, Romeo," he said, his voice calm but weighty. "I agree Indang could be a great asset. She's young, but her mastery of envoy powers surpasses ours."
He continued, "I've seen her fight multiple times—once even against me. Did you know Indang's always been a problem for the police here in Kawit? The mayor once tried to arrest her for her actions."
He chuckled as he recounted, "But instead of being intimidated, Indang went to city hall to remind the mayor of his 'duties.' She didn't do anything wrong there, but she was clearly challenging the government. So, I stepped in to have her apprehended by soldiers."
He went on, "One day, Indang came to the military base to confront me. She fought, and I witnessed her strength. She put two hundred soldiers to sleep effortlessly. Her ability to cast buffs and debuffs is unstoppable for ordinary people."
He revealed details of her powers. "She can apply five consecutive debuffs to an enemy and three buffs to herself. But there's a limit—three minutes before she can reuse her ability on the same target. And she can only affect what she sees."
Apyong added, "To defeat Indang, you must avoid her sight. But even knowing her weakness, her fighting style is your real challenge. She's fast, intelligent, and seems to anticipate your moves, quickly spotting her opponent's weaknesses."
He warned, "If I were you, I'd avoid fighting her. She's not truly a threat to Cavite. She came to my camp to talk, not fight. She told me to stop pursuing her and leave her be. She promised not to oppose the government, especially after Laguna advised her to stay out of the rebel-Spanish conflict."
He continued, "She's not interested in joining the rebels, but she hasn't ruled out starting her own revolution. Her decisions depend on Cavite's situation. She warned me—if we don't want trouble, we shouldn't provoke her. If we let her live peacefully, she'll stay quiet."
Apyong sighed and looked at me. "Let Indang be, Romeo," he said. "She won't cooperate with people like us. She's a victim of this country's harsh system too."
His words hit like a blow. I knew he was right, but the disappointment lingered. After a few minutes of silence, I said goodbye and left his office, carrying the weight of my emotions.
---
Back in Kawit, my soldiers continued searching for traces of the Katipunan. After assigning tasks to the team, I decided to have lunch outside. I waited for my driver to take me to a mall, but we got stuck in traffic. Knowing it would take a while, I decided to get out and find a place to eat.
"Drop me off here," I told the driver. "Go back to the office and wait for me."
I wasn't picky about food, often eating canned rations during missions or at camp. While walking, I noticed a small eatery on the corner. It was a typical Filipino diner with few customers, so I approached. Inside, I found a seat and went to the counter to order.
But when I saw the server, I froze. I couldn't believe it—the woman I'd met at yesterday's convention was working there. We spoke simultaneously, "You?"
Her eyes widened with shock and unease. "Why are you here?" she asked, her voice tense.
"To eat, obviously," I replied, trying to keep my tone calm. Noticing her discomfort, I ordered food and asked her to bring it to my table.
Minutes later, she delivered my meal but avoided eye contact, clearly uneasy. "Are you following me?" she asked, her tone suspicious.
"Tch, why would I follow someone like you?" I replied jokingly. "I got stuck in traffic, so I stopped here for lunch."
She wasn't convinced, her face full of doubt. I smiled, amused by the coincidence, and said, "The world's small, isn't it? It's like fate brought us together."
"Don't you get chills saying that?" she retorted, her tone sharp.
Despite her brusque attitude, I couldn't help but smile. I invited her to sit and join me, since the diner was nearly empty. She declined, saying the owner would scold her for idling. I wasn't sure why I felt disappointed, but with my work done for the day, I just wanted to unwind.
"What time do you get off?" I asked, keeping the conversation light.
She snapped back, "Why do you want to know?" her eyes wary. [Correction: Missing comma after "back" for proper punctuation of dialogue tag.]
I explained I'd finished work and, knowing she was a gamer, invited her to play at the mall. "I've got no plans today, and I know you like gaming too," I said, trying to be friendly.
She refused. "No way," she said. "I don't know you, so why would I go with you?"
Sensing her unease, I asked why she was avoiding me. "I haven't done anything to you, so why act like this? Honestly, I just want a gaming buddy. Don't worry, I'll treat you."
She sighed and sat across from me. "Don't you notice this place?" she asked, her voice tinged with concern.
I looked around and saw nearly everyone in the diner staring at me. Confused, I asked, "What's the problem? I'm not doing anything wrong."
"You see," she said quietly, her voice heavy, "no honorary Spaniards eat here. It's all Filipinos. To them, you're a traitor and an oppressor."
Her words hit hard. "My conscience is clear," I replied, staying calm. "I haven't done anything wrong to Filipinos, so they shouldn't treat me like this."
She explained it wasn't about my actions but the perception that honorary Spaniards were traitors reveling in Spanish power. As I ate, I realized there might be a reason locals distrusted people like me. I asked, "What do honorary Spaniards do to Filipinos here? Can you tell me?"
She sighed. "Even if you know, nothing will change," she said bitterly.
"That's not true," I countered. "I'm an honorary Spaniard too, so if they're doing wrong, I can report them. You know I work for the government—I might be able to help."
Instead of answering, she grew more anxious. "Now I really want to avoid you," she said. "If I say anything bad about the Spaniards, I could get in trouble."
I sighed but didn't give up. "If I were a bad person, I wouldn't need a reason to harm you," I said. "I know what's happening in this country, and I want to change it. But we need to work together."
She shook her head, clearly hesitant. I couldn't blame her for not wanting to snitch—she was scared and didn't know me well enough to trust me with her life.
"If you're afraid to speak, you don't have to," I added. "My free time is short, so just come with me."
"You're so persistent," she snapped. "I can't. I work here, and I don't want to get fired."
She got upset, telling me not to talk to her like we were friends. "I don't want people here thinking I work for you as a Spanish lapdog," she said, her eyes blazing.
"Yesterday, you didn't act like this," I said.
"I'm not comfortable talking to an honorary Spaniard like you," she replied sharply. "Yesterday, I spoke to you as a gamer, but we're not gaming now."
Understanding her point, I decided to get her number. "If you won't come now, give me your number so I can call when you're free," I said.
She nearly slammed the table. "I'm not crazy enough to give you my number!" she said. "I only have free time at night after work. I'm not rich like you—I need to earn a living."
I smiled at her response. "How much is your daily wage? I'll pay for your time to join me tomorrow."
Her expression shifted, anger flaring. "I don't like your tone," she said. "It's like you think I'm after money. I'm not that kind of woman."
I didn't get her point, so I clarified, "I'm not paying you for anything else. I just want you to join me gaming at the mall. There's nothing wrong with covering your wage for tomorrow."
She didn't buy it. "I play with gamers to have fun, not to get paid," she said. "If I play, I don't need payment to do it."
"If you don't want payment, just come with me tomorrow," I said, keeping my tone light.
She slammed the table. "I'm not going, especially with someone suspicious!" she said. "If you keep pushing, I'll think you have bad intentions!"
I regretted her response but knew I couldn't force her. "I don't want you thinking I'm like others who do whatever they want," I said.
While eating, I remembered the VIP card I'd lent her at the convention. "By the way, where's my VIP card?" I asked.
"Huh? The VIP card?" she said, visibly nervous. "Um…"
I didn't know why she panicked. After a moment, she sighed and admitted, "I lost it on my way home. I waited at the mall to return it, but you didn't come back."
We fell silent, and then I smiled, as if struck by an amusing idea. "No wonder you've been so tense," I teased. "You never planned to return it, huh? Lucky for you, fate brought us together here."
She slammed the table, denying my accusation. "I really wanted to return your VIP card, but I lost it on the bus!" she said, raising her voice. "And it's your fault for not coming back yesterday!"
The card wasn't a big deal to me, but I saw an opportunity. "I'm not sure if you're telling the truth," I said, teasing. "But true or not, you need to make it up to me."
As expected, she insisted she wasn't lying. "I have my honor!" she said. "I wouldn't ruin it over something like that."
"Good," I replied. "When can you pay me the twenty thousand?"
She froze, clearly unprepared for the card's value. "Twenty thousand?" she whispered.
Knowing she'd doubt me, I showed her the transaction proof on my phone. Her jaw dropped, as if the sky had fallen.
Her reaction gave me leverage. "You don't have to pay if you can't afford it," I said, easing the tension.
"Really? You won't make me pay?" she asked, hopeful.
I smiled, plotting my next move. "If you game with me, the card's debt is settled," I said.
She grew suspicious. "I don't like where this is going," she said. "You're doing this to make me go with you."
"You act like I planned this," I replied. "You're the one who lost my card. It's only natural you make up for it."
She smirked, still hesitant. "I don't want to go because you're forcing me," she said. "I'm starting to think you have bad intentions."
"Why would you think I have bad intentions?" I asked.
I admired her boldness in speaking her mind. "I'd gain nothing from harassing you," I said, chuckling. "I just want to enjoy gaming and clear your debt. I'm busy with work, so we won't play every day."
"If you join me five times, I'll forget the debt," I added, reaching for her number.
Visibly irritated, she reluctantly handed over her phone, saying she was only free on Sundays due to work. I agreed, as we both worked all week.
I asked for her national ID to get her name, but she refused. Before she could say more, I said, "You're joining me tomorrow." She got angry, calling me deaf since she needed to work to earn money.
"Don't worry, I'll compensate you for your time," I said. "How much is your daily wage?"
"Only three hundred pesos," she said. "But even if you double it, I won't go."
I cut her off. "I'll pay you five thousand to join me tomorrow," I said.
She froze, silent for seconds. I knew she was tempted but let her pride win. "I won't agree," she said, slamming the table. "I don't like people like you who think the poor are money-hungry."
I didn't understand her anger but apologized. "I didn't mean to insult you," I said. "If you prefer, I'll pay a thousand for your day since I'm troubling you."
Though irritated, she tried to calm down. "It's not normal to pay that much just to play," she said. "I can't help but be suspicious."
I admitted, "It doesn't sound good that I'm using money to get what I want, but it's all I have. Life is short, and when I die, my money's useless. I'm busy with work, so I'm fine paying to game and enjoy youth."
"What? You want to experience youth?" she asked, amused. "Is your life that lonely?"
I stood, placing money on the table for my meal. "Tch, don't remind me of that," I said, slightly annoyed.
As I walked out, I said, "I'll call you tomorrow morning. I'm canceling all my meetings, so you can't say no."
Before I left, she grabbed my arm. "Why leave without telling me your name?" she asked.
Despite her refusal to share her name, it didn't matter much to me. I was used to talking to strangers who'd soon forget me, just as she would one day.
Still, I hesitated to share my identity. "Just call me Romeo," I said. "And don't ask about who I am."
She frowned. "That makes you more suspicious," she said. "I need to know who I'm going with—I'm still a woman."
Before she could continue, the owner called her to assist customers. I took the chance to slip away. I knew she'd keep pressing for information, but I couldn't tell the truth.
What if she learned I was a general? What would she think if she knew I still played games and wandered around?
My life was too complicated—I couldn't neglect my duties as governor-general, but I also wanted to enjoy myself, especially knowing my time was short. If the rebellion continued, many would die, and I might be among them.
I wanted this to end, unsure how long I could endure. I hoped, before I died, I could give the people I loved a peaceful nation.
End of Chapter.