The lights and bustle of the festival could be heard from afar. Families, friends, and couples strolled among the stalls that stretched along the coastal path and the seaside square, like an endless parade of laughter and joy. The colors of the hanging lights and the aromas of freshly made food brought the night to life, while the salty sea breeze cooled the faces of visitors. Everyone eagerly awaited the climax of the event: the fireworks that would illuminate the night sky, crowning the festival with a burst of light and color.
Tomás wouldn't have gone if Sunny hadn't insisted they watch the fireworks together, like when they were kids. But she, true to her family-oriented nature, had gone ahead to find a good spot to watch the fireworks. So he was left alone, wandering among the stalls, feeling like a stranger amidst the laughter and revelry.
Each step through the crowd made him more aware of his isolation. The laughter of children with their cotton candy, couples sharing bites of street food, excited shouts from aiming games... everything seemed to belong to a world he couldn't access.
Stopping in front of a crowded roulette stall, his eyes fixed on the prizes. For an instant, something resembling a smile crossed his face. But before he could hold onto that faint glimmer of emotion, a familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts.
"Tomás? What are you doing here? I never thought I'd find you in a place like this."
The sound of that voice pierced him like lightning. His heart skipped a beat, and for a fleeting second, he allowed himself the thrill of believing in a happy coincidence. He turned with that hope, and there she was. Soledad, her red hair illuminated by the fair lights, her smile radiant, her eyes sparkling. He had never seen her so luminous.
"Soledad?" he managed to say, his voice broken by surprise.
But then he saw it. Soledad's hand intertwined with a man's. His expression froze, and the air seemed to leave him. The emotion that had surged in his chest vanished like a mirage.
For a second, he couldn't process it. His brain refused to understand what he saw. As if the image in front of him made no sense, as if it didn't fit into the reality he knew.
"It's good to find you here," she said with her usual naturalness, as if the man beside her wasn't tearing everything apart inside him.
Tomás could barely respond. His lips trembled before he could articulate an answer.
"Yes... of course."
"Oh, Tomás, this is my boyfriend, Ariel."
The name echoed in his mind. Ariel. The screech of the roulette wheel, the bustle of the fair, everything faded for an instant.
Ariel extended his hand in a kind gesture. Too kind.
Tomás felt his body resist, his blood fighting against every muscle in his arm, but even so, he shook it. His fingers trembled.
"Nice to meet you. Tomás," he said with a dry throat. He tried to smile as a slight lump in his throat prevented him from saying anything else.
Time stopped. The handshake lasted barely a second, but for Tomás it was eternal. His gaze avoided Soledad's, while his thoughts swirled in a vortex of pain and self-pity. "So this is it," he thought. "This is what I was to her. A friend. Just that." "It was all just kindness, fooled again."
It was all a lie.
The furtive glances.
The shared laughs.
The brushes of hands.
It was all his imagination.
The thought stabbed him in the chest. He didn't want to be there. He didn't want to feel this. Even the kisses had been a lie.
Soledad, oblivious to the abyss she had opened in front of him, looked at him with a genuine smile, as if this moment meant nothing more than a casual reunion.
"Do you want to join us for a walk around the stalls?" she asked, as if the gesture were a gift of her kindness.
Tomás looked down and swallowed. He didn't want anyone to notice, but the tremor in his jaw betrayed him. For an instant, he saw their hands intertwined again. Soledad's hand, the one he had clumsily held days ago, was now a symbol of the unattainable.
"No, it's fine," he replied with a bitter smile, barely concealed. "I wouldn't want to interrupt." A wave of dizziness rose from his stomach.
"You're not interrupting at all, quite the opposite, right?" Soledad replied, seeking Ariel's approval.
He shook his head before Ariel could respond, his own words sounding increasingly hollow in his voice.
"You two continue enjoying the festival. Don't worry about me."
Without giving them time to insist, he said a quick goodbye and turned towards the crowd. He wanted to run, but he knew that would only make the scene more pathetic. Instead, he walked slowly, losing himself among the lights and the tumult, his trembling hands hidden in his pockets.
Every step took him further from them, but the pain in his chest grew with each meter covered. His breathing was erratic, and the joyful roar of the fair enveloped him like a cruel reminder of everything he would never have. He turned his head one last time, with the absurd hope that she was following him, but there was no one.
The crowd didn't see him. The smiling children, the couples holding hands, the families sharing laughs... everything seemed to conspire to let him know that he was alone. That he had always been alone.
As the lights of the stalls began to dim in the distance, and the sound faded, the roar of the fireworks filled the sky. A brilliant and deafening spectacle. Colors danced in the firmament, reflecting on the dark sea.
Tomás stopped walking when he reached a more secluded area. There, in the twilight, loneliness completely enveloped him. He looked at the sky and let the lights of the fireworks illuminate his desolate expression, and the incessant roar reverberated, barely quieting a sob that was held back with difficulty.
Soledad had ignited something within him, a spark that now seemed to burn with a fire that gave no warmth, but unbearable pain. Everything made him understand why she was so radiant; it had never been because of him...
The multicolored lights illuminated the night sky, painting flashes of red, gold, and blue on the calm waters of the sea. The roar of the fireworks echoed in the air, a celebration that seemed oblivious to everything he felt at that moment. The crowd applauded excitedly, but Tomás could barely hear the noise around him. His breathing was erratic, his chest ached, and his eyes were clouded with tears that irremediably began to fall, albeit with difficulty.
He sat on a secluded bench, far enough from the fair not to feel the pressure of other people's gazes. The cold of the metal pierced his clothes, but he didn't care. His hands trembled, and the knot in his throat seemed to tighten more and more. He couldn't hold back the tears any longer, and let them flow freely as he watched the explosions of light in the sky.
"That's why she was so radiant..." A bitter smile twisted his face.
The idea struck him with the force of a grim truth. He had always thought that something special lived in her smile, something she shared with him, a warmth that, though fleeting, gave meaning to those small moments together. But now he understood that that light had never been for him. It had never been because of him.
"She was happy because she already had what she wanted. Her world was already complete... and I was never a part of it."
The thought was devastating, but he couldn't escape it. He repeated it over and over in his mind, as if by doing so he could get used to the pain, as if he could numb it. But there was no comfort in those words, only a sadness that seemed to spread like a black tide within him, covering everything, like indelible ink spreading across his canvas.
Tomás closed his eyes and let the sound of the explosions envelop him. The lights painting the sky filtered through his eyelids, but they couldn't dispel the darkness that consumed him. The memory of her gaze, of her radiant smile, mingled with the image of her hands intertwined with Ariel's. "The same hand that held mine... The same smile that made me believe in something more... fooled... again."
Every second that passed plunged him deeper into that feeling of abandonment, of insignificance. He had believed that he could be something to her, even if it was something small. But that illusion was now completely crumbling.
When he opened his eyes, the last lights of the fireworks fell like rain in the sky, slowly fading until everything was in shadows. The crowd cheered excitedly, but for him, there was only silence.
"In the end, I was just a shadow that passed through her life. A shadow that never meant anything."
Tomás buried his head in his hands, his body trembling. At that moment, he felt the full weight of his loneliness, more overwhelming than ever, indelible. He told himself that eventually the pain would pass, that eventually he would be able to look forward. But that night, under the dark sky of a festival that was not for him, he allowed himself to pour out his soul like a downpour, for all that would never be.