Kael Lanpar's POV(Mental Space)
Being here, alone, without Kraidir… without my father, is devastating. I can't forget him—I simply can't.
It would be like trying to bury the millions of deaths I've caused, the suffering I inflicted upon innocent people.
Their screams, their tears… still pierce my mind like sharp roots, tearing through every thought.
I'm nothing when I pretend everything is fine. I feel alone.
That's the real curse of reincarnation: you're given a second chance, but you can't escape yourself. You just change masks to make others believe you're someone else… but I'm not like that.
I know my thoughts. I acknowledge my sins. And I suffer because of them—because I have feelings. Because I'm still human.
I can't pretend I'm different. I can only accept what I once was.
A clone formed by my own mind tried to strike me. I dodged it instinctively. This is what I do to avoid remembering: I face my ghosts.
Maybe that other version of me never understood how much it hurt… or became numb just to keep from breaking.
A fireball formed in my hand, growing with the weight of my emotions. Because emotions are an essential part of who we are. They are the core of our power.
I hurled the fireball at the clone, and the explosion echoed powerfully.
Boom.
"Earth wall," I whispered, conjuring a natural shield to protect myself from the blast.
I know I'll survive. But right now, I'm fighting a war on two fronts: who I was, and who I am.
"I've forgiven myself," I said quietly. "But they… they haven't."
I looked up. In the distance, hundreds of shadows stared at me with hatred. I didn't need to interpret their gazes. I knew exactly what they were saying.
I sighed.
I began stepping back, retreating toward the safe part of my mind.
"It's ironic," I whispered. "On one side, the shadows… on the other, forgiveness."
Two different worlds: one covered in green grass, the other filled with floating ashes. There is light and darkness, trees blooming and others burning. And in the middle of it all… butterflies.
They're appearing more and more. White. Pure. I still don't know what they mean, but their presence brings me a strange peace.
Tok. Tok… Tok.
Looks like it's time to wake up.
I knelt beside the tree that had always been there—the one that had protected my mind from the very beginning. In front of me stood a gravestone with my father's name, carved by my own hands.
You may not hear me, Father… but I promise —I clenched my fists tightly, feeling my nails dig into my palms— I will keep living. Rest now. You've done enough by opening a door in my life.
Goodbye.
(Outside the Mental Space)
I opened my eyes abruptly as the knocking on the door intensified. It startled the birds on the windowsill… and it startled me too.
"Whoever's making noise at this hour, please let me sleep!" I shouted, hurling a pillow at the door.
Sometimes I surprise myself with how quickly my emotions shift. It's strange… but understandable.
After all, I'm still a child.
I rubbed my eyes, letting the morning light hit me full on. It was the sign that a new day had begun.
Slowly, I got up from bed, picked up the pillow, and walked to the door.
"Who's bothering me so early?" I muttered, still half-asleep as I opened the door all the way.
"Happy birthday, Kal!" they all shouted in unison. It was my family.
"Happy birthday, little brother!" said Mai as she threw herself into my arms. "Five years already! You've really grown fast."
"Thank you, Mai," I replied with a smile, returning the hug. "Though… I was hoping to sleep in a bit longer."
"Nope," she said, hugging me even tighter.
I was so deep in thought I had completely forgotten today was my birthday. And to think that just yesterday, I couldn't stop wondering what kind of trials I'd have to face…
This world is so different from the one I came from—especially when it comes to age. Here, by the time you're five, you're already considered a young person. And by fifteen… an adult.
It's not a meaningless tradition or custom. People here simply understand that in a world filled with danger, age can't be a limitation. It's just a number.
"Alright, everyone," my grandfather said enthusiastically. "To the living room! There's a big surprise for the birthday boy, and besides… it's time to eat!"
I felt a pang of sadness for not having my parents with me. I know they're busy with the war—I understand… but still, I would've given anything to have them by my side today.
"Kal," my sister said, touching my shoulder. "Father asked me to give you this today. He said it's important that you read it."
She handed me a letter with my name on it. Then she left, giving me space to read it in peace.
I opened the envelope and began to read as I walked toward the living room. Each word landed in my chest like a burning coal, filling me with emotion. It reminded me of everything I have… and everything I can't afford to lose.
Excerpt from the letter:
You probably hate me. And I understand. You must have so many memories of me… without me. Empty memories, of a love I failed to give you. I won't justify myself, son. That would be the easiest thing to do.
I just want you to know that I love you. That I've always wanted to make sure you have everything you need. Maybe I've failed at that… but you have your sister, your grandparents, and a family that loves you with all their hearts.
In life, you'll lose people. You'll love some, admire others. But all of them, in one way or another, will leave a mark on you.
Kal… this world is cruel to those who only know how to see pain. But those who learn to look beyond it will discover that everything—absolutely everything—has a purpose.
I love you, son. Let distance never erase what I feel. Let my absence never be mistaken for indifference. I'm with you, even if it doesn't seem that way.
I clenched the letter.
Tears began to fall, smudging the ink until the words became almost unreadable. But I understood the message. Everything in this life has meaning… more than we're often willing to accept.
Humans don't live long enough to fully understand our pain. But we do live long enough to misinterpret it… and that keeps us from living the life we truly wanted.
I wiped away the tears.
I walked straight to the table, where my family was waiting. That place… symbolized forgiveness. It was the new life I had always dreamed of having.
During the meal, there was nothing but laughter, stories, and my grandfather's wild tales—things that made me smile and, just for a moment, made me forget I had ever felt alone in a world that still doesn't understand who I really am.
"And here's my gift," said Grandpa, handing me a small knife with a mischievous gleam in his eye. "If your mother asks who gave it to you… don't you dare say it was me. I'm not ready to face her wrath."
"I promise, Grandpa. I won't say a word," I replied with a smile.
Seriously… is my mother really that scary, even to her own father? From what I've heard, she's powerful. Very close to a Broker's level.
"Alright, you've had your gifts and your birthday wishes," Grandpa said suddenly, his tone shifting. "It's time for your trial to begin."
"Don't you think it's a bit sudden to spring that on him, Luis?" Grandma cut in, frowning. "Let Kal—"
"What kind of trial is it? Will I use magic? Fight someone?" I interrupted, excited.
Grandpa glanced at his wife, as if asking for her approval, before continuing.
"Both your sister and your mother went through a similar trial," he said. "One that measures how ready you are to face the consequences of simply… breathing in this world."
"Don't get me wrong," he added. "Life here is harsh. And even if it seems like we're at peace… don't trust that illusion."
"And what exactly am I supposed to prove for you to think I'm ready?" I asked, meeting his eyes with determination.
He simply let out a small chuckle and motioned for me to follow him. We walked alongside the others toward the mansion's massive courtyard, heading straight to its center.
"Looks like I'll have to fight," I thought. "I already have greater control over my body. Maybe I haven't fully adapted all my combat techniques to this new reality, but the ones I do control… are enough."
"These kinds of trials vary depending on the clan leader who oversees them," said my grandfather, glancing over at me. "But since it's me, you'll have to prove both your strength… and your will to live."
At seventeen, in my past life, I led an entire army to victory against the Red Army. That day was a massacre for our enemies.
That much is clear: age doesn't define what you can do. And even less what you can achieve.
"I'm ready!" I shouted, beginning to feel astral energy surge through every corner of my body. The air grew tense, the ground trembled slightly, and my aura exploded outward—visible to everyone present.
"Since when can he use the Dominant's aura?" my sister asked in shock, watching from a distance.
"Mai, give the signal when you're ready. Save your amazement for later. This is about to get interesting," my grandfather called out, adrenaline coursing through him.
"Yeah, sorry… though this is still way too weird," Mai muttered before shouting, "One… two… three!"
"It's time," I said, unleashing a crackling electric mantle around me before launching forward, leaving a crater where I had just been standing.
My grandfather didn't react even a second too late. It wasn't out of confidence… it was experience. Before I could even process it, he was already behind me, eyeing me like a predator sizing up its prey.
"Terrifying," I thought, gritting my teeth.
"Hesitate and you die!" my grandfather roared. "You'd better come up with something better than that."
"Oh, I will," I thought with determination, instantly forming stone spikes that shot toward him like a colossal wave.
He countered with crystal shards that served the same purpose—but with a clear advantage: his were both offensive and defensive. He moved through the onslaught like it was nothing, terrifying in his fluidity.
"Shit," I muttered, watching him close the distance with brutal speed. Before I could fully react, he tore one of my spikes from the ground and hurled it at me with devastating force.
Luckily, I turned my head just in time for it to graze my cheek. Just a cut… but I wasn't beaten yet.
"I won!" I shouted, panting.
"What do you mean, 'you won'? I see you—"
Before he could finish, he was electrocuted by my trap.
The true function of the spikes had been to form a cage that stored electricity—ready to be released at any moment.
That's what elemental manipulation is all about. Using magic however you want, ignoring the unwritten rules.
"Aghh!" my grandfather cried out—then smiled. "Pretty clever combo, kid… but you let your guard down."
"What do you—? Damn it, I fell into my own trap!"
Before I could react, I felt the current surge through my entire body. A sharp pain seized every muscle. I stayed like that for several seconds, completely still, until it finally stopped.
The winner was him.
I had forgotten that he probably shared the same elemental affinity as me. It was a great idea… but it became my downfall.
"Owww…" I groaned, lying on the grass. "That really hurt. Couldn't you have gone a little easier on me?"
"Do you think your enemies will go easy on you if you ask nicely?" my grandfather replied sternly. "Here, forgiveness comes at a price. That's what I need you to understand—more than anything else."
"Come on, get up," he said, extending his hand to me. "You've shown an incredible will to live. Even in defeat, you fought to keep going. Well done, Kal."
"I almost beat you," I said as I took his hand and let him pull me up.
"Sure, you almost beat me—in your dreams," he replied, ruffling my hair with a teasing grin.
I'll admit it—I was overconfident. I trusted too much that I would win. I didn't even consider planning a second move. I paid dearly for that mistake.
After that, my grandparents left to fulfill their duties as clan leaders. It wasn't that they didn't want to spend time with me, but they had learned to balance familial love with responsibility. Being able to carry both without compromising either… that, too, is a form of wisdom.
The rest of the day I spent with my sister, walking under the beautiful night sky that blanketed the estate. Today wasn't just my birthday celebration. It was also the day of remembrance for those who fell in the war between humans and elves.
Seeing people dressed in black, crying for their loved ones, brought memories flooding back.
It reminded me of something I once had to do myself—carry my own emotional coffin, burying my pain just to keep fighting.
"Why did they attack, if they were our allies back then?" I asked Mai, looking straight into her eyes. "There's no way they changed overnight like that."
"You're right. It's strange, and there's no explanation for it," she replied, without meeting my gaze. "But that war… it caused things that can't be undone."
Her voice was heavy with anger—almost hatred.
"It's the reason our parents aren't here with us. And why, every year, we're reminded of the pain of losing someone."
I didn't know much about that war. Even less about how many lives were lost.But one thing was clear—it's the conflict that ties together all the deaths that have happened since.And most likely… it's also connected to the Midorians.
Hmmm…
My thoughts scattered the moment I saw a hooded figure. It didn't take me long to recognize her—it was Airis.What was she doing outside the mansion at this hour?
"Sister… I think I saw Airis in the crowd," I said, catching Mai's attention. "I'm going to check what she's doing here."
"Alright, just don't pick a fight with her," she replied, eyes closed. "And tell her happy birthday. It's hers too, you know."
"Yeah, yeah… right… it's her birthda—wait, what?"
Before I could ask anything else, she had already vanished into the crowd, leaving me alone with the question lingering in the air.
I made my way through the people, gradually approaching her.She was sitting by the fountain, staring at the water like it was the only thing that existed in the world.
And then I understood.
As I got closer, I saw the tears falling from her eyes, rippling the water with every stifled sob.Seeing her like that broke my heart.
I had seen her cry once before… and I did nothing.
"The night's beautiful, isn't it?" I said, trying to ease the moment.
When she looked up, her face was the same color as her hair—red from crying.
"What are you doing here… at this hour?"
"Why do you care?" she snapped, rubbing her eyes. "Why do you come bother me now? Isn't it enough that you—"
"Happy birthday, Airis," I said, cutting her off as I stepped forward and hugged her.
This time, she didn't say anything. No insults, no shouting.
She just hugged me tightly, crying even harder as her tears soaked my shirt.
I could hear her sobs carving themselves into my chest.
I knew Mai hadn't really left.I could feel her presence between the trees, watching us… like something out of a dramatic film.
But setting that aside, I never thought I'd find comfort in her.
And yet, there we were.Me, reflected in her grief… holding it back. Being strong for her.
I'm like her… I lost everything too, but I'm still standing.
Crying, yes… but still grateful to be alive.
Grateful to know I can still move forward—rewriting a fate that was never forced on me, but that I chose to defy.
Every decision I've made led me to this moment.
I hope I didn't choose wrong.I hope I won't regret walking the path toward my own peace.
I choose to live.