My name is Zhang Wei. I come from a secluded sect of cultivators in the western part of the Hi empire. I've had a crush on one of the senior disciples for the last couple of years now. So, when my crush, Miss Li came and asked me to join her and another senior, search for the inheritance of a nascent soul, I couldn't be happier. But I could never imagine myself in such a situation.
"You're not a mermaid here to explain this trial, are you?"
"Do you really think mermaids have whale sized butts with teeth? If so than you must have a really wild imagination."
Before me was a scantily clad, masked woman with an orca dangling of her midriff.
"You need some help with that?"
"Nah, I think this gal is about ready to take a permanent nap."
Just then, blood came erupting out of the orca's mouth like a geyser, drenching the scantily clad woman in whale blood as it finally let go and fell back into the water.
"So, you trapped here too, kid." She said as her robe open revealing her undergarments.
"Uh…"
"I ASKED YOU A QUESTION PUNK!"
"YES, MAM!"
She is surprisingly scary for a lady her size, if she is even old enough to be called that. I can't tell because of the mask but judging by the height I would say she is around 13 or 14 years old that said, her demeaner feels more like that of some gang leader. As for her other assets, she got nothing on senior sister Li.
"It's okay, you still have time to grow." I said while grabbing her by the shoulders and giving her a thumbs up. And her response…
*Pow*
She punched me so hard I flew all the way down to the next platform.
"OUCH! That hurt."
"Get your head out of the gutter or I'll shove my fist so far up your ass I reach behind your eyes."
"That could have been dangerous. If I wasn't a golden core, your punch would have killed me you know."
Ignoring my complaints, the young lady pulled out a belled from thin air and used it to close her robe as she headed towards the water.
"HELLO, CAN YOU HERE ME! THIS IS THE ORCA SLAYER SPEAKING! HELLO!"
"Why are you yelling at the water lik-"
"HEY GET THE HELL OFF ME YOU WENCH!"
A man's voice, accompanied by static, emerged from the pond.
"Aww, you don't have to be so shy pretty boy, why don't you come with us and I'll personally-"
"Wait that's miss Li's voice."
"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE! NOX IS THAT YOU?!"
"Yeah, there was a portal in the water connecting these two rooms."
"NEVER MIND THAT, COME HELP PRY THIS HARLOT OFF OF ME."
"HEY, MISS LI IS NOT A-"
"Can't."
"WHAT?!"
"The portal was a one-way single use type, meaning once someone enters from one side it closes from that side. So, this side closed the moment those two fell through it. So in short, I'm stuck."
"Looks like it's just you and me handsome, so let's get to know each other, intimately."
"NO WAY! IF THE PORTAL CLOSED THEN HOW ARE WE… HEY, LET GO OF MY CLOTHES… HOW ARE WE TALKING."
"The portal might be closed, but the spaces are still connected. There is a chance it could open again, but I wouldn't count on it."
"CAN'T YOU DO SOMETHING… HEY STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING DOWN THEIR… NOX!!!"
"What's the magic word?"
"YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS! THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR CHILDISH GAMES!"
"I could, use the spatial distortion to open up a tiny portal, but I don't know if I should. I mean who am I to come between a man and a woman having the time of their life."
"FINE, YOU WIN, PLEASE SAVE ME GREAT LADY NOX!"
"And."
"HOLY SHI-… AND I'LL PAY YOU HANDSOMLY FOR THIS FAVOR."
In that moment a small hole in space appeared behind miss Li's head as she was about to pull off the dark lord's pants. And a hand holding a comically large rubber hammer glowing with magic enchantments poked out of the hole.
*Bonk*
"There I did something, also I'm adding 10 magic stones to your bill."
"WHAT!? YOU LI#T#E…"
"What happened?"
"Nothing. The spatial distortion just disappeared. Seems whoever is in charge here didn't like the stunt I just pulled."
"In charge? Never mind that. What did you do to miss Li"
"Calm your tits. I just bonked her on the head a bit, she'll be fine."
"Anyways, let's get out of here."
…
Meanwhile from an unspecified room filled with monitors displaying the inheritance site.
"Looks like I got quite the catch this time. I wonder, who will it be?"
"HAKHAKHAKHAKH"
The room was filled with the eldritch cackle of a staticky voice.