Kai could still feel the echo of the tremor in his bones when he crossed back through the portal to the real world, the light of the Nexo flickered, dying out behind him, and the weight of the air suddenly changed. He leaned on his knees, drawing in a slow breath, trying to ignore the feeling that something had looked straight into him in there, the core in his chest was warm, pulsing in a strange rhythm, as if it had stayed awake for too long, as if now he could see everything differently. For a moment, Kai thought about telling someone about the vibration, but he quickly swallowed the idea, no one there wanted to hear what a weird-core boy had to say.
The group of collectors dispersed quickly, each one running to tally up the stones and secure the day's pay, nobody exchanged words with him, just the usual looks, curiosity and disdain, as if he were part of the scenery, an accident that insists on returning. Kai stood a little apart, waiting his turn to get paid, knowing that from then on it was just him and the luck of the day. Just thinking about Lina, a strange tightness rose up to his throat, the image of her face, pale, coughing at night, wouldn't leave Kai in peace.
When he finally received his credits for the collection, he didn't even look at the amount, put the card in his pocket, hid the glow in his chest with his hand and crossed the filthy corridor of the terminal. The Union soldiers turned a blind eye to the richest, stopping only those who, like him, had no choice but to humiliate themselves every single day. One of them, his face covered by a bluish mask, looked Kai up and down and shook his head, didn't say anything, but didn't need to, Kai already knew what they thought, he'd heard so many times that it was better to settle for not being noticed.
The city was even quieter than usual, with that thick mist swallowing the streets, erasing the streetlights, Solarius seemed to breathe along with its nightmares. The buildings, grimy and covered in blue moss, were almost invisible on the other side of the fog, the few who crossed Kai's path shrank even more, protecting their bags, avoiding any eye contact. He quickened his pace, dodging dark puddles, thinking of his endless to-do list, buying food, stopping by the black market pharmacy, getting back before Lina woke up scared again.
In the alley next to the market, some older collectors shared a bottle of cheap booze, when they saw Kai, one of them muttered something, but nobody laughed, it was as if everyone was too tired even to mock him. At the entrance of the little market, the owner, a small woman with her hair tied up and a sharp look, blocked the way with her body, only moving aside after Kai showed his credits. Inside, empty shelves, the smell of rotten fish, and everything marked with absurd prices, Kai grabbed rice, a bag of old beans, and two wilted apples. He hesitated in front of the generic medicine, but remembered his sister's face and took the bottle, ignoring the hole that would make in his pocket.
On his way out, he put everything in the bag and took a deep breath, the cold crept inside his jacket, stealing whatever comfort was left, the sky, on the other side of the mist, was just a blur of pale lights and heavy clouds. He thought about how good it would be to disappear into that fog, just stop existing for a few minutes, no fear, no weight, no feeling that strange core burning, but Lina was waiting at home.
The climb up to the apartment felt longer than ever, every step creaked under the weight of his tired body, and the hallway of the building smelled of mold and something rotten. The cubicle door creaked when he opened it, inside, Lina was still asleep, but it was a light sleep, any noise made her breathing falter. Kai dropped the groceries on the sink and went to check on his sister, she curled up under the blanket, lips dry, her forehead covered in cold sweat, he sat beside her, ran his hand through her hair and tried to smile, he didn't really know what to say, just wanted to be there when she woke up, even if he couldn't fix a thing.
"You're back early today," Lina mumbled, opening just one eye, her voice a wisp, almost fading away with the rest of her body, "did you bring me anything?"
Kai smiled, trying to sound cheerful, "two apples, it's almost a party here," he handed her one, which she held with both hands, as if it were something precious, "are you feeling better?"
She nodded, halfway yes, halfway no, coughed again, and Kai helped her sit up, propping her back up with an old pillow, "was it hard?", she asked, staring at her brother with worry.
"Normal," Kai lied, not wanting to scare her more than necessary, "everyone was in a bad mood, but I got a few stones, already exchanged them for credits, so I could bring food and medicine."
Lina looked at him, serious, "you don't have to lie to me, Kai, I know when you're scared."
Kai looked away, fiddled with the grocery bag, pretending to look for something, "it's fine, just tired," then went quiet, listening to the wind rattling the window and the distant sounds of the city waking up, the wall clock barely worked, but it was easy to tell the day was just beginning.
When Lina finished her apple, Kai helped her take the medicine, the taste was bitter, and she made a face, but didn't complain, then lay down again, turning to the side, "did you dream about the machine again?", she asked, her voice fading into the tattered pillowcase.
Kai stayed quiet, remembering the nightmare that pulled him from bed that dawn, saw the machine-meteorite falling, the metal tentacles spreading across Earth, the light hypnotizing crowds while everything melted into shadow and dust, he didn't want to scare Lina, but didn't know how to lie about it, "I did dream, but it was just a dream," he answered softly, "nothing can get in here, I promise."
The day dragged on, Kai cleaned the house as best he could, washed some clothes and changed his sister's water, thought about going out to look for more work, but his body was heavy as stone, he sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the ceiling, feeling the core pulsing lightly, as if a voice wanted to escape from inside, sometimes, he thought he'd go crazy if he didn't keep his hands busy, his head spun, the Nexo memories came back in flashes, the damp smell, the bluish light, the corridors that seemed alive, but now there was only exhaustion and uncertainty, there was nothing to save or sell, just the bills piling up tighter and tighter.
Outside, the fog thickened, you couldn't see anything past the neighboring building, couldn't hear more than the muffled sound of patrol drones, Kai looked at the empty table, feeling the weight of only having managed to buy the minimum to survive, he wondered if he'd ever be lucky enough to get more credits, maybe on a high-risk expedition, thought of the posters plastered around the city, the stories about collectors who came back rich, different, as if they'd faced the gods themselves inside the Nexos, but soon shook his head, laughing at himself, dreaming was for people with a golden core.
At the end of the afternoon, Lina slept again, Kai took the chance to go out, catch what little sun still made it through the fog, the alley was empty, and at the notice board on the corner, there were new warnings, a list of slots for Nexo expeditions, notes about missing people, and a message from the Union, tax hikes, new controls, more inspections. Kai read everything quickly, looking for any opportunity, there was a group of collectors, the desperate kind, recruiting for Nexo 17, not a good team, but anything would do.
He thought about Lina, the medicine almost running out, the overdue rent, and decided to take the risk, wrote down the meeting address and went there, a warehouse near the terminal, inside, a dozen collectors speaking quietly, all with the same look of exhaustion and despair, the group's boss, a pot-bellied man with a thin beard, looked Kai up and down.
"You ever worked in seventeen?" he asked, impatiently.
"I have, I know how to get in, know how to get out," Kai lied, trying to sound confident.
The man snorted, "alright, whoever's got a weird core goes first, if they die, nobody will miss them," he laughed, but nobody joined in, just wrote Kai's name on a crumpled piece of paper, "if you want to back out, now's the time."
Kai didn't say anything, just stood there, waiting, feeling the weight of fear and need fighting inside his chest.
When he got home, Lina was still asleep, Kai sat on the floor, leaning against the wall, listening to his sister's breathing and trying not to think about the next day, the cold got worse, the fog came in through the window cracks, and the world seemed even smaller, as if everything was waiting to collapse again, Kai hugged his knees, feeling the core pulsing slowly, closed his eyes, trying to hold on to the last good image, Lina smiling, still a child, before the world broke, he promised himself that, no matter what happened, he'd always come home.