"Why?... How… how the hell could this even happen?"
My mind drifted, and my head throbbed.For as long as I could remember, it was the first time I'd woken up in the morning completely drained. My eyes wouldn't close. They stuck together, itched, twitched — but the moment they finally shut, they snapped open again.
For a while, I just stared at the ceiling. Then my gaze shifted to my hand — the one lying outside the blanket.
It no longer held Louise's.At some point, our hands had separated.
I hadn't noticed when it happened. Maybe I had simply… let go. Or maybe she had.But my palm was still warm, as if it carried the trace of her touch. So it couldn't have been long ago.
We were lying in the bed that, until yesterday, had belonged only to me. My sanctuary — my little kingdom. But with Louise's arrival, I could no longer call it that.Her presence was an invasion; I was forced to make room in my own domain.
The tip of her finger brushed against my forearm, and I flinched.In response, her hand clutched the fabric of my pajamas more tightly, as though afraid I might disappear. She murmured something in her sleep, but the pillow muffled her words.
I waited for a moment, then gently placed my hand over hers.Gradually, it seemed that my touch brought her some peace — her fingers loosened.
I hadn't realized this right away.The first time, I'd tried to move away — and ended up captured.Of course, they were only hugs, but with our difference in strength, they felt like a chokehold.I was a helpless stuffed bear, squeezed to cracking just for warmth.
Only later did I understand: a simple touch could calm her.But for me, it had the opposite effect.Every time her hand brushed against me, my heart would start pounding like a broken metronome, and sleep would become impossible — until, eventually, I stopped trying altogether.
I spent a long time thinking about what I could've done to avoid this fate.But the answer was always the same — nothing.Everything that followed after Euriel's departure had been decided, final, beyond appeal.
As for the situation itself…
.
There were so many reasons.An incredible number of different, unrelated reasons — and just as many that could explain why Euriel stood by the doorway while Louise was between me and Emilia.
Outside, winter raged. A moment ago there had been calm — and now the blizzard's roar clawed through the cracks in the windows and floorboards in an unbroken stream.On the shelf, the tall clock ticked, each chime echoing in my chest like the heavy thud of a heart.I could even see the dust motes dancing in the air, trying in vain to imitate snowflakes.
My senses were sharpened to the limit, but my mind was shrouded in an icy fog.
"— Thank you for agreeing to look after Louise for this month. You'll take care of each other, won't you, Yori?"
Euriel's words replayed in my head like a broken record.Maybe I was being too harsh, but that single sentence was enough to nullify everything that had happened before. The conversation went on after that, but it all felt meaningless.All I could do was nod and smile, pretending to listen.
To be honest, I did try to pay attention… but I couldn't.
What exactly did Euriel expect from me?And what had Emilia and Quint agreed to?
If I think about it, I've never been good at connecting with people, or at putting effort into maintaining relationships. Maybe I'm just too indifferent.
Well… that's who I am.
It's rare to find relationships that flow naturally, asking nothing in return.The longer you drift with the current, the weaker they become, until they snap altogether.
It was the same with that girl.Even a century hadn't been enough to build a fragile bridge between us — one that either of us could cross.
So what could a single month possibly change?
How much time would it take for our hands to form even the briefest thread of connection?I don't know.Looking into her distant face, it seemed that even eternity wouldn't be enough.But eternity isn't something I have.
For me, the celebration ended the moment Euriel said those words.Did he really think this was a gift?Especially since he hadn't brought anything else.
Gifts are, of course, a subjective thing. Sometimes a gift is simply something—or someone—that stays with you. But, honestly, in my time, people usually weren't given like that. Or was this more like… a loan? Not sure.
As if in unison with the fading howl of the blizzard, the door slammed shut. Along with it—and a detached nod toward Louise—Euriel disappeared. The world kept turning, I knew that, but the sense of loss warped everything around me: I moved like a sleepwalker, unaware of direction or purpose.
More than once, I saw only my reflection in the girl's eyes. But when I looked closer, in their depths flickered fragments of lived years—like stars scattered across a night sky.
You could look at them from the ground, but they were too far to reach. Every step I took in her old footprints gave birth to new constellations from fading stars that came alive in her presence.
Louise and my memories. Trying to look at both, I found myself focused only on the first. Why? Well, she was closer. After all, nothing is farther away than the past.
In Louise's eyes there wasn't even a glimmer—like a lifeless field. It made me wonder: could I ever see something in them again, or were they doomed never to bloom?
"Hm? What's that look?" Quint hunched between me and Louise. Resting his chin on his hand, he glanced from her to me. "Fell in love, huh?"
The absurd suggestion made my face heat up several degrees above the room's temperature. I didn't even have time to open my mouth before Quint burst into laughter, his brazen cackling filling the hallway. I thought about defending myself before Louise, but it wasn't necessary. She didn't seem to care in the slightest.
Slap!
The air itself seemed to pop at the sound. Emilia's palm, like a whip crack, cut the laughter short. I froze—Quint had been on his best behavior lately, still annoying but bearable. Apparently, the presence of a new person in the house had brought out his inner jester.
"Don't embarrass the kids, idiot," Emilia sighed tiredly.
For Louise, it must've been something new, because she actually flinched when Quint nearly bowed to the floor. That was when I realized—Louise wasn't exactly a rock. I suppose that was… a good sign. Probably.
Quint frowned and began rubbing the back of his head furiously, as if trying to erase both the sting and the memory of the slap. With his lips sticking out, he looked more like a sulky child than a grown man.
"Cruel," he muttered. "I just wanted to lighten the mood."
In the chaos following Euriel's departure, there was at least one constant—Quint and Emilia were still here. It wasn't much, but it lifted some of the weight off my shoulders. After all, I wasn't the only one carrying this burden.
And yet… we had to live under the same roof for a whole month.
I didn't doubt that I'd manage to form some kind of relationship. Why? Because I always somehow found a way to connect with even the most withdrawn people. Even if… it never ended well.
So, surely something would change soon, right?
That's how a fleeting meeting on the steps of some unfamiliar building had brought us together again half a year later. And though we now knew each other's names and parents, we remained strangers.
By a string of coincidences stretching back, perhaps, to my very birth, we were to live together. Amazing, isn't it?
I think this phenomenon had a name.
Fate.
And it was… unbelievably exhausting, come to think of it.
"Girls, take a bath before bed," Emilia said, placing her hands on my shoulders.
"Mmm," I muttered. "Let Louise—"
"No, no. You're both going," she cut me off.
"Heh-heh…" I laughed weakly and twitched. "I'm clean today!"
"Not at all," Emilia pressed harder on my shoulders.
All my escape attempts were ruthlessly prevented when she grabbed me by the scruff of the neck like a mother cat. I finally understood why Emilia had crept up behind me—to keep me from bolting.
With her "catch" in hand, Emilia turned to Louise and nodded slightly.
"You too."
I had no idea what kind of expression Emilia was wearing,but even upside down I managed to catch the look of horror on Louise's face.Apparently, she wasn't exactly thrilled about the prospect of taking a bath together either —but just like me, she didn't really have a choice.As for Quint — that brave man bolted the moment Emilia's attention shifted to us.
Leaving the living room, we headed for the stairs.Emilia dragged me along with such ease that I might as well have been a forgotten sweater rather than a person.Dangling limply in her hand, I could only feel my hope evaporating with each step upward.
Too many protests crowded my head at once for me to settle on any particular one.
Why did I have to take a bath with Louise?It was awkward enough just being around Emilia sometimes.
Thinking about it, that was the only question that wouldn't leave me alone.Every other thought was just another road leading right back to it —how to avoid this?
I tried to reason with myself, to find an excuse — but nothing fit together.Emilia's voice was firm and slippery at once — impossible to argue with.
Had I been an ordinary child, I could've thrown a tantrum and ended this farce.But the very fact that I was "not ordinary" was exactly what didn't allow me to.Maybe that's why they decided everything without asking me.
Still dangling like a bag in Emilia's grip, we reached the second floor.The bathroom door greeted us with a familiar creak,and a yellow stone lit up near the ceiling, spilling warm light into every corner.It pulsed with magic — a substitute for the motion-sensor lamps we once had back home.
I'd always wondered how it worked.What exactly did it sense to respond like that?
I had one just like it in my room.It only lit up when the room was completely dark.In a way, it was smarter than any lamp I'd ever seen in my old world.
"Undress, I'll fill the bath," Emilia said, setting me down on the floor before heading toward the tub.
For a moment I turned to Louise — and immediately turned back toward Emilia.A wave of warmth filled me, hotter than the most unbearable summer day.But that wasn't all I felt.The realization dawned slowly — Louise and I would be sitting right next to each other…
And yet, together with that heat, tiny droplets of cold sweat rolled down my skin.I swallowed nervously.
"What's wrong, Yori? You're not planning to bathe with your clothes on, are you? Come on, hurry up," she urged me.
"Maybe I'll just… take a bath tomorrow instead?" I said with a crooked smile.
"Undress," Emilia ordered.
Why was she so insistent?Unable to understand, I stared at her in confusion.
While I stood frozen to the spot, Louise walked past me.Just one glance at her — and I could feel the blood rushing through my veins, carrying with it both tension and embarrassment.
What was that?
Sure, the image of that girl was fading more and more with each passing day,but that was hardly a reason to… no. Definitely not.
I was just caught in a very weird and delicate situation, that's all.If I thought about it rationally — on public beaches, children often ran around without swimsuits,and it never bothered me back then.
Seen from that angle, it wasn't that strange anymore… right?Well. Maybe.
With a heavy sigh, I lowered my hands to the hem of my shirt and pulled it over my head.The steam from the bath immediately kissed my skin,making me shiver slightly.
Maybe I had come to terms with how I felt about Louise —but there was still one question left:was I ready to open myself up to her like this?
Given the situation, it should've been perfectly normal.And yet, my hands trembled on the waistband of my pants.Shame coiled tight in my stomach.
.
Like bursting bubbles, something in my head popped each time my eyes fell on Louise.No matter how small we both were, the bath still wasn't big enough for the two of us.And the fact that we were sitting face to face didn't help at all.If anything, it only made me want to shrink — like a vacuum-sealed bag —just to make sure I didn't accidentally touch her.
My main goal was to keep my knees as close to my body as possible.It wasn't exactly cramped — not like sitting shoulder to shoulder —but there was another reason, too: I wanted to cover myself.
Despite the steamy air, my legs were shaking.And the blush spreading across my face only grew deeperwith every fleeting glance in her direction.
To be honest, I didn't have any real reason to avoid her.Physically, we were both girls.Even if, deep down, my soul still belonged to a boy, Louise was far too young to attract me in that way.And yet, for some reason, my heart was beating so loudly I thought the ripples might start dancing across the water.
Obviously, the fact that Louise sat in complete silence, staring at me from across the bath, made me look worse.But how was I supposed to break the tension in a situation like this?
Splash her with water?Not sure that would be a smart move.What if she thought I was teasing her?
To be fair, I'd never been in a situation like this before.It was a new experience — one I honestly hoped would never repeat itself.
Louise hunched forward, half her face slipping beneath the water's surface.She looked almost like a crocodile, watching me with quiet intensity.
She kept staring, saying nothing — only the droplets from my hair broke the silence as they hit the water.
"Don't you like taking baths?" she suddenly asked… or at least, I thought she did.
The sound of bubbles mixed with her voice, making it hard to tell.Even so, her sudden question caught me completely off guard, leaving little time to think.
"Why?"
"Well… you were dragged in here by force," Louise finally said as she lifted her head above the water.
Her long hair slid down over her shoulders, and with it, the upper half of her body emerged —I immediately turned away.For her age… no, no, I wasn't even going to think about that.
"No, no, no!" I slapped my cheeks and shook my head.Water splashed everywhere, and Louise quickly covered her face with her hands.
The sight in front of me stood like a wall I somehow couldn't look past.
Where were these feelings coming from, piercing through me like that?Using that question as a thin excuse for self-reflection,I tried to distract myself from worldly temptations — and failed miserably.
My breathing turned shallow, the bath seemed to grow smaller and smaller around me.My mind sank, and I slid lower and lower until I was almost completely underwater.
"I like water," I muttered, curling into myself beneath the layer of steam and shame.
I didn't plan to look at her like that,but every accidental glance lingered longer than the last.What was it? Curiosity? Confusion? I didn't know.But at that moment, there was nothing else in the world except her.
Our eyes met, almost by accident, when Louise finally lowered her hands.And then — for just a second — I saw a faint smile on her face,a small crescent moon glowing softly in the mist.
In that instant, it felt as though someone struck a match inside my chest,and a firework went off straight in my head.
I didn't understand what was happening to me.But I knew one thing — I wanted to see that smile again.
It suddenly became clear how difficult it was to play the role of an older sister,and how little it actually took to receive something from the younger one.That brief sparkle in her eyes was enough to make me a little happier.Too bad I realized it far too late.
And even though I was younger than Louise by age,I couldn't bring myself to accept the roles we were supposed to play.
"What are you doing, silly? …Oh… sorry," Louise's voice softened and faded away.
The corners of her lips sank, giving way to a distant expression,while I probably looked like an idiot grinning at nothing.
Her lips tightened even more,which made me turn my head away — just to calm myself down.
"You just didn't want to come with me, did you?"
Another question that left me speechless.
It was true, of course. But I didn't want to admit it.
The water swallowed my body, and I stayed silent, unable to find the words.My chest ached as I tried to force some kind of answer out.It felt as if my tongue had been tied in a knot,and every attempt to speak only made a dull sound escape my lips.
Why couldn't I even lie — when it would've been kinder to do so?
A few more moments passed,and I saw Louise's face slowly sinking beneath the water.And with it — my shoulders sank too.Whether it was the heat or my mind turning to mush,I honestly couldn't tell anymore.
The rest of the time passed in complete silence.Only the sound of dripping water broke it now and then.
That blurred reflection on the surface — distorted by tiny ripples — perfectly mirrored my inner state.Like a mirror not yet shattered, but already webbed with cracks.
"What would you do without your loving father!"
A shadow suddenly blocked the light — as if the entire wall had fallen on us.I nearly jumped. Quint stood right above us, striking a triumphant pose.
"Gyaaaah!" Louise screamed — a hundred times louder than his dramatic entrance.Quint flinched in surprise, and my heart almost leapt out of my chest.
I did wonder how he'd managed to get inside, considering the door hadn't opened once.But my attention quickly shifted to Louise.
I rushed toward her, as if to shield her, and then—
…oh.
My ears and eyes filled with something foggy, like the condensation on a car window.The warmth wrapped around my body — too thick to breathe through.My head was spinning from being in the water too long.
Until—
.
Strong gusts of wind — like someone pointing a giant blower at my face —ruffled my hair, brushing against my cheeks.I was too lazy to open my eyes, so I just tucked the stray strands behind my ear.
Now I was lying on something soft and familiar — like a bed.But just moments ago, I'd been in the bath…
Like rays of morning sunlight, the memories struck my face.The more I thought about it, the more wrong everything felt — until it finally hit me.
"Louise!"
I shot up on my elbows — and pain surged through my body.
"Ow—ow—ow…"
My skin was red, as if I'd spent a day sunburning.The heat of the bath was still trapped inside me.
"Easy, easy. It's alright. Don't fuss,"
Emilia's hand pressed gently against my forehead, guiding me back down onto the pillow.She sat beside me on the edge of the bed, her face hovering above mine.The small distance between us was enough to make me nervous — and obedient.
Her hands, covered with thin, translucent gloves made of water, slid over my skin.Coolness spread in steady waves —as if someone were peeling the heat off me, layer by layer.With each motion, my body grew lighter, the tension melting away.
When I turned my head, I noticed Louise.She had already changed into her pajamas — modest, as expected from a bishop's daughter.Her fingers trembled slightly as she gripped the edge of the bed, afraid to fall.She looked like a puppy waiting beside an operating table, anxious for its owner.
I had to admit — it was kind of adorable.
"See? Louise didn't run away from you,"
Emilia said with a gentle smile, ruffling the girl's hair —as if nudging her closer.
"That's… not what I meant,"
I muttered through my teeth, turning my face away.
I couldn't shake the feeling that Emilia and Quint were looking at us… strangely.Or maybe I was just imagining it.
Either way, Emilia's seemingly innocent remark made me blush.I wasn't sure why.
"Where's Dad?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
"Hm? Oh… he decided to take a nap."
I turned my head — Emilia's smile was oddly vague.But Louise's reaction spoke volumes: her eyes darted around the room,fixing on the blanket, on her own pajamas — anywhere but at us.
It became painfully clear that Quint hadn't gone to sleep of his own free will.
And then I thought —if Euriél was truly worried about Louise's reclusiveness,he should've just left her with Emilia.A few hours were enough for the girl to live through an entire range of emotions.Maybe not all of them pleasant —but one thing was certain: Emilia had a talent for dragging people out of their shells.Even if it looked more like cutting them open with a knife.
"Right… but how did Dad even end up in the bathroom?I didn't hear the door open," I asked.
"Hm? It wasn't locked," Emilia replied with mild surprise.
She gently lifted my bangs and brushed her lips against my forehead.
"You're very grown-up, you know.But see where your independence has led you?"
There was no real care in her tone — only mockery.And yet, that warm touch somehow held me in place, leaving no room to argue.
Although, perhaps, it was because I leaned toward her lips first.But obviously, that couldn't be true. Of course not.
It was just… awkwardness.
"Now then, time for bed, girls," Emilia said, then turned her gaze to me."This is the first time you haven't slept through the entire day. No wonder the calendar shows a sun."
She gave a quiet giggle, and my face flushed even deeper.
"I was just saving up energy these past three years," I muttered.
"Oh, really? How prudent of you," she replied with a soft, teasing laugh.
Emilia rose from the bed, ruffling my already messy hair once more.I frowned and lifted my hands to smooth it down — in vain.
"By the way, how do you like your present? I hope it's your style," she said, nodding toward the edge of the bed and prompting me to follow her gaze.
There lay a pajama set — soft as if woven from clouds, gray with a white patch on the belly.I picked it up, and the fabric springed gently between my fingers, radiating warmth.Two small round ears slipped off the hood — tiny and ridiculously cute.
It looked like what, in my world, would be called a kigurumi.And if that was truly the case — how on earth did it end up here?
As for the creature it was modeled after, it resembled a koala — mostly because of its color and silly ears.But could such a creature even exist in this world?Recalling my earlier blunder with the "monkey," I wasn't sure of anything anymore.
"What kind of creature is this?" I asked Emilia.
"That's a Treepurr," she replied.
"A Treepurr?"
"That's right." She nodded. "They're quite lazy, and the sounds they make are more like grumbling.Remind you of anyone?"
My cheeks instantly heated up as I realized what she was implying.If the pajama ears had been mine, they would've folded down in shame.
So that's how she saw me — lazy and grumpy?And while it wasn't entirely untrue, part of me still bristled at the thought.
It might've sounded childish, but that's genuinely how I felt.
"Thanks…"
A rather dry response — even to my own ears.But under Emilia's teasing gaze, my thoughts fluttered between embarrassment and gratitude.
"I knew you'd like it," Emilia said with a wink, and was about to leave the room.
"Uh… Mom? What about—"
I gestured toward Louise, who had been standing motionless beside the bed this whole time,like a statue carved out of marble.
During our conversation, I had almost forgotten about her.But this time, I was determined not to repeat the same mistake.
"Oh, you haven't realized yet, have you?"
"Realized what?"
Emilia's look was far too knowing, but I couldn't help asking.Instead of answering, she simply chuckled, shrugged —and left, closing the door behind her.
Leaving Louise and me alone.
I suppose that was my answer.
"Ah…"
"No rest for the wicked," was the first thought that came to mind.And though I'd always thought of myself as living a calm, detached life —apparently, even that could earn punishment.In the end, in some countries, even secession was once a crime.
Too many things had happened today — none of them particularly pleasant.Mostly because none of them had left me any choice.
Wasn't that what humanity had fought for all those centuries?To have the right to choose for ourselves?
I sighed again. Quieter this time.
"Well… let's hope we get along," I said with a crooked smile, turning to Louise.
Not a second passed before the girl darted away from me.
Seriously? What was that about?
Leaving me puzzled, Louise rummaged through her bag.If I didn't know magic existed in this world,I'd have been shocked to see how much fit into that tiny scrap of fabric.A sweater, a shirt, pants, another pair, underwear — all tossed onto the flooras she searched frantically for something inside.
"Uh… Louise?" I called out carefully.
She didn't answer.But when a book finally appeared in her hand, she exhaled in relief —as if she'd feared she'd lost it.
"I was supposed to give this to you earlier, but…"
Without finishing, Louise held the book out to me.I didn't press her for the rest.Even though she seemed shy and reserved, that gesture alonegave me hope that she didn't completely dislike me.
Why?Well… she could have just kept the book for herself.
"Thanks, but… I can't read," I said awkwardly, taking the book.
"You can't?" she looked genuinely surprised. "But…"
Her habit of leaving sentences hanging was starting to wear on me,but I forced the thought away.Maybe we had nothing in common —but since we were here together, the least I could do was be… patient.
"I just don't understand all these letters.Maybe… you could teach me?"
She only responded with a vague mumble, making me sigh once again.It was obvious that relationships couldn't be built in a single day… at least, that's how it worked for adults. Who could have known that even children could be so complicated?
I used to think it was enough for a child to simply reach out — and the world would smile back instantly. But reality turned out to be far more indifferent.It seemed that even a child's expectations could be left unmet.
Or maybe I just happened to draw the "hard mode" right from the start?
I looked out the window, where the third winter in this world swept past me.The sight was no different from the ones I'd already lived through. No — the seasons themselves never changed; only their names did.
There was the winter of elementary school — when everything seemed bright and soft.Then the winter of middle school — when I just wished it would end sooner, so the days would pass faster.And later, in high school — winter lost its sparkle.Perhaps, along with me.
And now came the winter… of infancy, I suppose — a part of which I was destined to share with Luisa.
She was still standing by the bed — wary, like a tiny sentinel.The curls of her hair accentuated her youth, and the faint freckles on her cheeks harmonized unexpectedly with the greenish tones of her eyes and strands.
Wait a second…
"Why are you still standing there?" I asked cautiously.
"You're not dressed yet. I didn't want to interrupt," she replied softly.
"Oh…"
I hurriedly slipped into my pajamas, and the hood immediately fell over my face.Whether she felt awkward seeing me in just my underwear, or it was simply her natural caution — I couldn't tell.After so much time spent alone, I'd almost stopped caring about how I looked.But now, sharing a room with her, I'd have to be a little more mindful.
"You don't have to be so shy, alright? We're both the mistresses of this room now," I said, climbing down from the bed toward the mirror.
"Mistresses?"
"Exactly. Um… in other words, make yourself at home."
A faint hint of confusion flickered across her face, but I pretended not to notice. Instead, I focused on my reflection.The pajamas were soft and warm, and the color — which once looked terrible on me — now seemed… surprisingly tolerable. Maybe even cute.
So this was what they called feminine charm, huh? When even the silliest thing somehow managed to look adorable?
I pulled the hood tighter and froze. In the mirror, it looked as though a Treemoor was trying to chew on my head — like I was some kind of eucalyptus.
A burst of laughter behind me made me flinch. I clenched the edges of the hood in my hands, as if to hide inside it.In the reflection, I saw Luisa's mouth open wide with laughter, her eyes squeezed shut.
"That's… that's not funny at all," I muttered.
"You're… haha… so… cute!"
The longer she laughed, the more I wanted to curl up and crawl away.The ridiculousness of the situation made me suspect that this hood must have been Quint's idea.Who else would come up with such a way to make me look ridiculous?But how did Emilia agree to this…?
Suddenly, Luisa's hand pressed gently against my stomach, making me exhale sharply.I felt her cheek rest against the hood on my head.
"I've never seen a Treepurr before. It's so soft…"
Her words, coupled with the embrace, hit me like a pendulum trap. Somehow, I managed to stay upright.
My body tensed instantly, like a hedgehog sensing danger.And yet, there was no threat in Luisa's touch.Perhaps that's why I could suddenly feel her scent so vividly — and her breath seemed so loud, so embarrassingly close.
"So, it turns out you can be childishly sweet too," I said with a nervous chuckle.
Those words, spoken straight from the heart, painted Luisa's face in a deep crimson hue.
So that's how stone crumbles, huh? First a crack — then a collapse.I had to admit, it was a striking sight.
Poisoned as I was by my own helplessness, the mere chance to take the lead — even once — made me laugh.
Maybe that laugh was a step forward.A small one, but real.And just like that, our relationship moved ahead — by a whole few minutes.
"No, no, no, no…"
Luisa was bouncing in place like a springy little ball, jumping off the floor and back again. It reminded me of that one time — when that girl had suddenly returned while I stood by the fridge.Apparently, people really did attract those like themselves.
And though, compared to Luisa, I was more like an old building that had stood for years, I no longer felt such a vast distance between us.
Ignoring her reaction, I decided to steer the conversation my own way.
"Picture this: you and your friend are sitting by a campfire — chatting about books, laughing, roasting marshmallows. Without taking your eyes off the flames, you toss a tiny pebble into the lake nearby — and it skips perfectly across the surface, leaving even ripples behind."
"Huh?"
I shifted my gaze toward the book on the bed, prompting Luisa to follow it.
"Beautiful image, isn't it?"
"I… I don't understand," she shook her head.
"Teach me to read, please. Tell me about all of it. I'd like… for that to become real."
She was remarkably good at switching between childish and serious expressions. Was it because she was full of emotions she simply didn't know how to show?
"You really can't read?" she whispered.
"Hmm?"
"You… talk like adults."
Her remark hit like a punch to the stomach, making my teeth clench.Under her wary gaze, I felt an invisible wall rise between us again. Just a few careless words — and the chasm reopened.
I had let myself get too comfortable in that easy atmosphere, too careless.Was this the kind of effortless connection I'd been missing all along?
And yet…
To be both an adult and a child — could such things truly coexist?How was I supposed to adapt to someone else when my feelings escaped before reason could catch them?Did Quint and Emilia ever notice that?
Unable to find an answer, I decided to simply smile.
"I guess… it's time for bed."
Without waiting for a response, I climbed onto the bed and flopped down by the wall, my back turned to Luisa. My mind was throbbing from all the turmoil.Everything in me screamed that I wasn't yet ready to build a bond — whatever kind it might be.
Not yet.
"You too, Luisa."
For some reason, I felt like she'd been waiting for an invitation — like a vampire at the threshold.
And sure enough, right after I said it, I felt the mattress dip slightly as she climbed onto the bed.
The light went out the moment we both settled in, shadows crawling across the walls.Then, the room filled with the soft glow of the winter moon.Not that it was any different from the summer one — but its light felt cleaner, somehow.
There was no wind, and yet I could feel it brushing against my cheeks, keeping me from calming down.
I fought against the urge to look at Luisa, to make sure she was asleep — but in the end, I couldn't resist.A glance over my shoulder showed her curled up at the edge of the bed, like a cat. She wasn't covered.
A strange feeling stirred inside me — pushing me to sit up and tuck her in.What was it? Care? Responsibility?I couldn't name it, but I knew it wouldn't fade until I acted.
With a gentle flick of the wrist — like tossing a ball into a basket — I pulled the blanket over Luisa and turned back. For a moment, the motion eased the tension in me… until I felt a faint touch against my back.
"Don't go…" came her quiet voice.
"What?"
Before I could even turn around, something tightened around my chest.It felt like something snapped inside my head. I could feel the blood drain from my face, leaving me trembling.
I wanted to scream. To break free. But before I could—
"Stay," came a quiet sob, and the grip loosened. Only then did I realize that I wasn't the only one shaking.
"Luisa? What's wrong?"
I tried to turn toward her, but was met with another crushing hold. My ribs cracked audibly, forcing a cough out of me. No matter how I struggled, I didn't have the strength to escape.
"Luisa… let go…" I rasped.
"Don't go… Papa…"
What?
Whether from lack of air or sheer shock, my eyes widened. So she missed Euriel that much? But… what did that have to do with me?
If I let this continue, it would leave a mark that couldn't be undone.What would happen when she woke up and saw this?
It had to end — now.
Moving like a snake caught in her grasp, I tried to slip out of her arms, careful not to seem hostile or rough toward her.
Her hands shifted to my stomach as I made some progress.It felt as though a gaping hole had opened inside me, draining my will to resist.
Whatever strength of will I had left to stop her — it was gone.
My palm fell over hers, and I felt her gradually relax. Like quicksand — the less you fight, the better your chances of survival. I threaded my fingers gently through hers and gave a light squeeze.
Bit by bit, Luisa's breathing evened out, brushing faintly against my neck.The trembling in her hands subsided, yet I didn't move mine away. It felt as though the trap called Luisa might spring shut again at any moment.
Time passed, and at last she turned over, releasing me. I finally drew a full breath.But her hand remained resting on mine, as if to make sure someone was still there beside her.
Outside the window, the night stayed cold — but what had just happened between us had changed everything.