I couldn't concentrate. The harsh white light of the lab overhead buzzed louder than usual, the sound drilling into my skull like a warning siren. My eyes scanned the screen in front of me, but the numbers blurred, the graphs danced, and none of it meant anything. All I could think about was Delmar and K'liira...two ocean-born beings left alone in my cramped apartment, surrounded by plastic, concrete, electricity... and silence. What were they doing? Were they frightened? Was Delmar regretting everything?
My chest tightened.
"Kash. Come back to Earth," Karl's voice sliced through the fog in my head, dragging me out of the whirlpool of thoughts.
"Sorry," I muttered, clearing my throat as I turned toward him, blinking rapidly like it would somehow ground me.
Karl raised an eyebrow, leaning back in his chair, arms crossed. "Something bothering you?"
"No. Nothing." I rubbed the top of my head, fingers digging into my scalp like pressure might press the chaos back into place. I turned toward the centrifuge, pretending to focus.
"Boyfriend trouble?" he asked casually.
I froze. My heart thudded in my throat.
"What boyfriend?" I asked too quickly, too defensively.
Karl raised both eyebrows this time. "Whoa, easy. Peter was looking for you this morning. I figured..." He trailed off with a shrug.
Right. Peter. I had a boyfriend. Just not the one consuming every corner of my mind right now.
"Oh," I said quietly.
Karl didn't press. He gave me a look...a knowing one...then turned toward the pipette station. "I don't like to pry," he said, voice softer, "but if you want to end things with Peter, do it before it gets messy. A bad relationship can really fuck you up. Trust me, I've been there."
I stared down at the stack of culture slides waiting for me like rows of tiny tombstones. Karl had always been decent. A little too laid back for the institute's liking...he was more interested in launching his artisanal fermented beverage line than decoding sea life genomes...but he was kind, grounded.
"Thanks, Karl," I said, offering a faint smile. "But I can take care of myself."
He nodded, not offended. "Just saying," he replied, before returning to his work with a nonchalant shrug.
I turned back to my station, eyes on the microscope, hands moving on autopilot. My mind wasn't in this sterile lab, though. It was back home. With Delmar. With K'liira. With the impossible weight of what came next.
The day dragged, each tick of the clock an ache. I counted the hours until I could leave, my body here but my heart miles away, submerged somewhere in a city apartment now carrying the scent of ocean and uncertainty.
When I walked into my apartment that evening, the first thing that caught my eye wasn't the scent of warm air or the familiar creak of the door...it was the sight of Delmar, kneeling shirtless before the coffee table.
His back was to me, broad and golden under the warm spill of lamplight, muscles shifting subtly as he moved. The worn pair of jeans clung low on his hips, revealing the dimples at the base of his spine. His long, graceful fingers traced delicate arcs against the glass wall of my fish bowl, and the goldfish followed as if enchanted, their tiny fins fluttering in devotion.
He hadn't noticed me yet. His face was scrunched up in utter concentration, the kind of innocent wonder usually reserved for children. His sea-green eyes shimmered, reflecting light like gemstones under water.
I didn't breathe. Not at first. I stood frozen, trying to wrestle my heartbeat into silence, trying not to be swept away by the uninvited intimacy of the moment.
Then, as if sensing the shift in air, he turned his head.
Our eyes met.
And just like that, he smiled...slow, warm, devastatingly soft. The kind of smile that broke defenses, not with force, but with quiet sincerity.
"Welcome back," he said, and his voice hit me like warm ocean wind. Deep, resonant, ancient. Like it remembered me before I even existed.
I blinked, snapping back into the present, fumbling with my shoes as if they were suddenly too complicated. "What's up?" I muttered, trying for casual, slipping into my house slippers. I kept my gaze fixed somewhere above his shoulder. Anywhere but the ridge of his hip bones or the warmth blooming in my chest.
"I missed you," he said plainly, like it was the easiest thing in the world to admit. No hesitation. No apology.
God. Why did he have to say it like that? Like he meant it.
I scoffed lightly, more at myself than him. "Why?"
It came out harsher than I intended. Angrier. Not because I was mad at him...but because he made everything so damned hard. Because every time I thought I could keep him at a safe distance, he said something that tugged at the stitches holding me together. I wanted him, but I wasn't allowed to. He was challenging every boundary I had so carefully drawn.
"I don't know, Kash," he said, glancing away like he was embarrassed by the honesty in his own answer. "I haven't thought about it."
That vulnerability in his tone...it knocked the wind out of me. My chest ached, torn between wanting to wrap him in my arms and wishing I could unfeel everything he made me feel.
I cleared my throat, desperate to change the subject before I did something I'd regret. "Where's K'liira?"
"In your room," he replied, just as casually as he'd said he missed me.
I walked toward the bedroom, not prepared for what I was about to see.
My jaw dropped.
The room looked like a tornado had passed through it. My bedsheet was half-hanging off the mattress, drawers yanked open, clothes strewn across the floor in colorful chaos. At the far corner, seated cross-legged was K'liira. My laptop rested on her lap, the screensaver of Bora Bora flickering on the screen. Her wide, glassy eyes were locked onto the ocean image as if it were a portal she might slip through at any moment.
"K'liira!" Delmar rushed past me, his voice sharp with panic. "What have you done? You said you just wanted a look."
He knelt beside her, his face twisted in both frustration and guilt. Then he turned to me with an apologetic glance, the kind that didn't need words.
"I'll clean it up. I'm sorry. She's still... new to all this. She didn't mean to cause trouble. She just...she doesn't understand human boundaries yet."
I watched him scramble to collect the scattered clothes and neatly stack the toppled books. There was something heartbreakingly gentle about the way he looked at her...no blame, just concern. Fierce, loyal concern.
And I realized...she wasn't his blood, wasn't his kin. But he loved her like she was. Protected her like she was sacred.
I turned away.
Not out of anger. Not even jealousy.
But awe.
What kind of person loved like that? With no conditions. No expectations. Just... love.
Maybe it wasn't just Delmar. Maybe it was something all Faringues carried in their blood...a wild, ancient kind of devotion. The kind we humans had long forgotten.
"It's okay," I managed to mutter before slipping into the bathroom and locking the door behind me.
The moment the hot water hit my skin, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. Steam billowed around me like a curtain, cocooning me from the world outside...shielding me from Delmar's eyes, from the weight of my own heart. I stood under the stream longer than necessary, scrubbing my skin like I could rinse away the way he made me feel. Like I could clean the longing out of my bones.
But it clung. It always did.
By the time I stepped out, towel clutched around my waist, the apartment was quieter than before. The wreckage in my room had vanished, as if it had never happened. The bedsheets were smoothed down, the cupboard closed again, and the chaos had been neatly tucked away. I stood there for a second, surprised, before I heard the soft hum of voices from the dining area.
I got dressed and went out to the living room to find K'liira sat cross-legged on one of the chairs, her bare feet tucked under her, mesmerized by the digital clock blinking on the microwave. Delmar stood beside her, his body leaning against the table, tall and relaxed...too relaxed. His eyes flicked toward me as I passed.
"Thanks for cleaning everything up," I murmured, my voice hoarse with unspoken feelings. I didn't wait for a response before walking straight into the kitchen.
I needed to move. To cook. To do something human.
I had just placed some vegetables on the counter when I felt him behind me...like an atmospheric shift. A presence more than a sound.
"Can I help you cook?" Delmar asked.
I didn't dare turn around. Not before you put on a shirt.
"You know how to cook?" I asked instead, trying to sound indifferent, focusing far too hard on slicing a capsicum.
"I learned everything I could about humans," he said easily, picking up a carrot and rinsing it under the tap. His hands moved with startling precision as he peeled and chopped, clean strokes, efficient, perfect cubes forming like magic under his fingers.
I turned to look...couldn't help it. "Really?"
"Yes. I worked for a fisherman on his yacht for a few months. I used to make his meals during long trips out at sea."
There was a hint of pride in his voice, and it made me smile before I could stop myself. "Did he know you were a merman?"
Delmar chuckled softly, his voice like velvet soaked in ocean air. "No. But he did ask why I always went for unusually long swims."
I let out a small laugh, feeling something warm and fragile flicker in my chest.
"What else do you know?"
"I know how to use a computer."
That actually made me stop and blink. "Seriously? Who taught you?"
"A man in Island City. He ran a small repair shop. Let me sit and observe."
I leaned against the counter, fascinated. "So what did you do with this knowledge? Set up a Facebook account? Watch us humans embarrass ourselves online?"
"I watched music videos on YouTube. A lot of them. Some were even good."
"Name one?"
He smiled softly, almost wistfully. "There was a song called 'Saturn'... it stayed with me."
My heart lurched. Of course he'd be the kind of soul to fall for a song like that.
"What else did you watch?"
He hesitated. Just a beat.
Then, casually, "Porn."
I almost dropped the ladle into the pan. "You what?"
He didn't flinch, didn't even seem to realize the weight of his words. "I wanted to understand how humans have sex. It's quite... different."
I cleared my throat, a flush creeping up my neck. "R-right. That makes sense... from a scientific curiosity point of view." I stirred the vegetables with unnecessary enthusiasm.
There was a silence. Then...
"Your genitals are rigid. Stationary."
I froze.
"Excuse me?" I managed, turning just slightly.
His voice dropped, rich and quiet. "Ours are... larger. And flexible. They can move inside the partner. Adapt to their shape."
A gust of heat rushed up my spine. I coughed. "Let's... maybe keep our genitals to ourselves for now, okay?" I chuckled nervously and turned back to the pan, pretending to be deeply engrossed in whether the onions were browning evenly.
He didn't let up. His voice was suddenly closer...too close. I could feel his breath, warm against the side of my neck.
"Aren't you curious how we have sex?"
His voice was low, laced with something unnameable, and it hit me in the gut like a wave slamming against the shore.
My fingers tightened around the spatula until the plastic creaked.
Curious? God, yes. Curious in the way people are curious about their own destruction...morbid, magnetic, inevitable. But to admit it out loud would be like standing at the edge of a cliff, wind howling in my ears, knowing full well there's no parachute strapped to my back.
"Nope," I said a little too fast, shaking my head. My voice wobbled, betraying the truth I didn't want to say. "Pass me the carrots you cut."
Delmar didn't move. Didn't speak.
And then, calmly, intimately..."I'm attracted to you, Kash. And my biology reacts to you. Even now, my cock..."
"Delmar!" I spun around, heat crawling up my neck, my voice sharp and strained with disbelief. "Stop. Just... stop."
He blinked, taken aback, but not remorseful. Still standing there, so composed, so bare with his emotions it made me feel like the coward in the room.
"I think K'liira is hungry," I added quickly, floundering for something else, anything else. I turned toward the paper bag I'd brought in earlier and tore it open. "I bought fresh stuff from the market. There's tuna. She likes that, right?"
I pulled out the glistening fillet, placing it carefully on a ceramic plate.
From across the room, K'liira watched us. Her limbs were folded tightly around her knees, her eyes peeking through the crook of her arms...sharp, sea-deep, and silently knowing.
"He want you," she said quietly in broken English.
I froze.
My throat constricted around something I couldn't name, and I could only force a tight smile. "Here... enjoy," I said, placing the plate gently in front of her like I was laying an offering to a goddess.
But then...without a word...she picked it up and padded toward the bathroom. The fish balanced in her hands like something sacred.
I frowned. "What is she doing?" I asked, mostly to myself, watching her disappear into hallway.
"She's taking it to the bathroom," Delmar said behind me, his voice softened with concern. "She's been spending most of her day in there. She hates being out in the open. Hates the air, the dryness. She doesn't say it, but she's uncomfortable. Her skin needs moisture. She misses the sea."
My chest twisted.
There was something heartbreakingly childlike in the way K'liira moved...retreating, hiding, curling into places where no one could see her discomfort. Being a sea creature forced to walk the dry, tiled floors of a human apartment... God. How terrifying it must feel. How exposed.
"How do you do it?" I asked, turning back to Delmar. "Don't you want to be in water too? Don't you feel like... suffocating?"
His eyes met mine, and the tenderness in them nearly undid me.
"I'm used to it now," he said. "It's harder for her because she's nesting. But me..." he paused, a crooked smile curving on his lips, "my mate is human."
I stepped back slightly.
"You keep saying 'your mate' like it's a foregone conclusion. But I'm not...I'm not yours, Delmar. I'm not anyone's. Nothing can happen between us. You think I don't feel this pull between us? Of course I do. But I know how it ends, and I'm not signing up for a heartbreak I won't survive."
Delmar didn't flinch. He simply walked toward me with those graceful, unhurried strides...like the sea inching toward the shore.
When he stopped, we were a breath apart. I could feel the warmth of him, the quiet pressure of his gaze.
"I've heard even heartbreak can be... pleasurable," he said, his voice dipped in softness. "With the right person."
I swallowed hard, blood pounding in my ears.
"You're insane," I whispered.
But the words weren't laced with venom. They were breathy. Weak. Wanting.
"Feel me..." Delmar whispered, his voice husky with something raw and unfiltered. He took my hand...slowly, reverently...and placed it flat against his bare chest. His heart was pounding like a war drum, loud and wild under my trembling palm.
"Feel what you do to me."
My throat constricted. My breath tangled.
"Delmar..." I rasped. "What are you doing?"
But my body betrayed me. The heat of his skin seared into mine. His chest rose and fell like crashing waves, as if just being near me was unraveling him.
"I need you, Kash," he said, voice breaking around the edges. Then, with a desperate gentleness, he slid my hand lower...down his firm abdomen, past the dip of his waistband...until it pressed against something solid. Alive. Moving.
My breath caught.
"This isn't... appropriate," I managed, barely. But my fingers had already curled, instinctively, around the shape of him. Heat pulsed through my hand like electricity.
Delmar's eyes searched mine. Not lustful. Not demanding. But open, vulnerable. Reverent.
"I don't know what's appropriate," he admitted, voice rough. "All I know is... it gets this way only for you."
He leaned in, forehead brushing mine, as though sharing a secret sacred only to us.
"My Liann... it never reacted. Not even with my queen. She chose me to protect her nest, not to please her. I accepted that. I thought that was all I was ever meant for. But the first time my Liann filled with blood was the night I saw you. You were reading in the lighthouse... it was a quiet night but you storm in my body..." he smiled faintly, "I knew then. You were the one."
My throat was dry. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move.
"Delmar... we can't..." I choked out. "I don't even know if it would work..."
But the sentence was swallowed by movement.
In one swift, fluid motion, he lifted me onto the kitchen counter. The cold marble met the heat of my skin, sending a shiver down my spine. His arms caged me in, firm but trembling, as though holding me in place steadied him too.
His forehead touched mine again. Our breaths collided.
"We can figure it out later," he murmured, his voice like thunder veiled in silk. "Right now... I just need to know you're real. That I'm not dreaming again. Just let me taste you...once."
His hands gripped the waistband of my pajama bottoms, eyes searching mine for permission, not taking anything...asking.
And for a moment, I forgot who I was. Forgot the laws of nature. Forgot the boundaries between land and sea, species and fear, past and present.
All I knew was that I was melting.
I nodded. A small nod. Just a small tilt of chin before he was sliding my pajama bottom off.
God, how could I ever resist this?